My Wife and the Singer

"Sorry you got caught more like."

"No, I should have told you."

"Yes, you should."

"Was that on the TV?" She asked.

"Yep, sure was, a special on the current affair this morning. It was their lead-in item."

"Oh shit, everybody will know by tonight."

"Sure will. Everybody, your,mum and dad, my parents, the girls. They were so proud of you. Guess that's blown now."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, indeed..."

I stood up, picked up her bags and said, "Let's go."

As we walked off, I heard her phone beeping. "I wouldn't answer that if I was you. Might be better to wait for a more private moment."

"Fuck," she spluttered. "It's Mum."

She turned her phone off as we walked out to the car park. In the car she gave me a piercing glare. "What happens now?"

"I don't know, actually. What are the options? I could drive you out to Toe Toes bay, kill you and bury your body in the dunes, but then there's probably CCTV footage of me picking you up."

She nodded, her face bright red. "Probably."

"I could stop the car, push you out, or better still just push you out. Drive off and try to forget I ever knew you. That one sounds pretty good to me right now."

"Probably." She moaned.

"The one I'm favouring is, I drive us home, you load up all your clothes, I help you load it into your car and you drive to your parents' place. Where you stay until our divorce becomes final."

"Divorce, huh? That's it, after eighteen years? I know this isn't a great day for us, but does it have to be the end?"

"Unless you can come up with a better alternative." She didn't answer, so I blurted out angrily. "Maybe if you said you were sorry, and it sounded mildly sincere. That would be a start."

"Paul, I am sorry, I'm not being funny or insincere. I truly am sorry."

"Funny, that sounds exactly like when I asked you if you had anything you wanted to tell me,"

She sighed. "What was I supposed to say? Paul, I had sex with Rob, can you forgive me; Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No, it's not what I wanted to hear, but at least that would've been honest."

"Look, I know this must have come as a shock, and I know I behaved badly. But come on, Honey, you know I love you."

"No, Ali, I don't know that. If you had asked me if I loved you at ten this morning, I would have said unequivocally, yes. Now, the answer is. I used to."

"Paul, nothing's changed. I still love you, okay I know it probably doesn't look like it, but I do. I just got swept up in what was my biggest fantasy, every girl's dream."

"Apparently it didn't take long. If you had listened to the rest of that video clip. You could have heard the roadies saying how they could hear you going at it on the tour bus before you even got out of Invercargill."

She flinched painfully, the dagger digging deep. "Is that true, Ali?"

She didn't answer, she sat chewing her bottom lip. I could feel the steering wheel crushing under my death grip. "Well is it?" I bellowed. "Is that fucking true?" I screamed so loud the windscreen was covered by my spraying saliva.

She nodded guiltily. "I'm sorry, Paul, I just got swept up in it. We smoked some weed, drank champagne and it was so exciting. Yes, I know it was wrong, and I know it was silly, but you have to understand. If it was you in my place, you would have done the same thing."

"I don't think so, Ali. I sure hope not, anyway. I'm fucking disgusted with you. I can't believe you threw everything away for a roll in the hay with that has been."

She sighed and leaned against the car window. "So what happens now, Paul?"

"I don't know. We get divorced, sell up and split the difference. The girls are old enough to choose who they live with."

"You don't want that any more than I do," she groaned.

"I don't want it, but that's what's happening."

"Why? Because I had sex with another man? Is that it?"

"Don't fuck with me Ali. What would you be saying if the boot was on the other foot?"

She shrugged. "I can't say for sure, but I wouldn't act in anger. I would think about things, talk them through." She gave me a scowl. "When did you find out?"

"It was on TV this morning. I saw it at the airport."

She cringed, her face screwed into a crinkled frown. "Shit, that must have been terrible. I'm sorry you found out like that. It must have been a shock."

"Yeah, you could say that."

"You seem very calm."

"Guess the reality hasn't sunk in yet. What did you expect? You must have considered you'd get found out."

"No, not really. Weirdly, it never even crossed my mind."

"Did you even think about me?"

She grimaced again. "Yes, no, god, I don't know. I suppose I did. After the first time, I felt like shit, really guilty. I was ashamed of myself. But if you want me to be honest, the idea that we were doing something so depraved and dirty really raised the excitement levels. Honestly, Paul, knowing we could get caught just heightened the arousal. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear."

"At least you were being honest. Good, was he?"

She sniggered. "Rob, he was okay. No better than you, it was the situation that made it exciting. Knowing we might get caught just made it all the more intoxicating." She winced. "I know it sounds disgusting, sordid, nasty. But that just made it better."

We pulled into the driveway and she looked nervous. I guess we were both thinking the same thing. Do the girls know?

The moment we walked in, it was obvious they did. Lacey gave Ali the most grotesque evil stare.

Kaley wasn't holding back. "How could you, Mum?" She absolutely shrieked, her fists curled into tight clubs. "Oh my god, you filthy skanky slag."

Ali, rather than shocked and horrified, strode directly up to Kaley, pulled back her hand and slapped her across the face. "Don't you dare speak to me like that ever again. I am still your mother."

Kaley turned and ran up towards her bedroom screaming, "Fuck you, you're not my mother; I can't believe what a filthy dirty bitch you were." Her face was tear streaked, crying her eyes out.

Lacey wasn't going to be left out; she shook her head in disgust. "How could you, Mum? This isn't just about you. The whole town knows, god the whole country knows. Gramma is disgusted. Jeepers, what will happen at school? We will be the laughing stock. Why did you do it, Mum? Don't you care about us?"

Ali, who dealt so harshly with Kaley, just stared, unable to move. Her eyes watered as her lips trembled

"Are you going to be okay, Dad?" Lacey asked as she gave me a cuddle.

I nodded. "I'm okay, Pudding."

She turned and scampered off up the hallway to console Kaley. The house went quiet, neither of us moved. We just stood staring into space. That's when the loud banging on the front door dragged us out of our stupor. I walked to the front door, only to find a camera crew and a reporter shoving a microphone in my face. "Mr. Merchant..."

I slammed the door and walked back inside. The banging on the door continued. Lacey and Kaley, wandered back out. "What's all the banging?"

"Reporters. Stay here, I'll deal with it."

I walked back out, swung open the door. "You have ten minutes to leave. After that ten minutes I will be ringing the police and reporting you for trespass. We have no comment to make." I slammed the door in their faces and rang the police. That was a waste of time, they told me matter of factly that unless they were causing some harm, they were too busy to respond.

Thankfully, the reporters didn't know that, and after half an hour got bored and left.

Ali sighed. "Thanks, Paul."

"I didn't do it for you. I don't want the girls impacted by this."

She nodded as she walked into the kitchen. I followed her and growled. "Ali, I think it would be best for all concerned if you went to stay at your parents, or one of your friends."

Flicking on the jug, she shook her head. "No, it doesn't work like that, Paul. This is my house as well as yours. My name is on the title. It's as much mine as yours. I am staying here."

"It's going to be very uncomfortable, Ali. I make no apologies for that, and let me add. If you ever lay one hand on either of the girls again, it will be the last time you ever see them, or daylight for that matter."

She gave me an embarrassed scowl. "You're right. I shouldn't have hit her. I'm sorry, I was just shocked to hear her say that to me. I didn't know what to do. I know I fucked up, I know it's not your fault. I know this is down to me.

Her face took on a determined fierce look. "Paul, I'm not curling up in a little ball and crying. I hope that we can work things out, but if we can't, I'll understand. You asked me earlier if the shoe as on the other foot, what would I do? I don't know if I would be as forgiving as I indicated I might be."

I decided to go out to out to my workshop. I had nothing special to do. I just needed space. I banged away, clattering and hammering. What the fuck was I going to do? This was fucked. Eighteen fucking years, and now it was all gone up in smoke.

How could she be so calm, so calculating? All that did was make me reconsider everything. If she could lie so calm, be so determined, maybe this wasn't the first time. The longer I stayed out there, the angrier I became. When I went back inside, I heard crying coming from up the hallway. It was Ali, but it was also the girls. She was in Lacey's room with both girls and they were all bawling their collective eyes out.

Grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge, I went back out to the workshop, flopped in the old chair in the corner and tried to enjoy. Hah, enjoy, that was a laugh. As I reclined back in the chair, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Scrolling through recent events, there were literally hundreds of messages and missed calls.

After I showed Ali the news clip at the airport, I had turned it off. Now it overflowed with messages. There were all the usual culprits. My parents, a few friends, Ali's parents. That was all a bit much for the moment. That was the last thing I needed. It was the living arrangements I needed to address. I wasn't letting her chase me out of my own house. I knew damn well that I couldn't force her out, either. After finishing my second beer, I decided to do some rearranging. Part of the shed was a storage room. I cleared it out quickly and got out the big double-bed blow-up mattress. We got a few years before when friends came to stay.

Once inflated, I scrounged around, found some blankets and made it up. After a quick test run, it was good enough. I wandered back inside and grabbed more beers. I also needed pillows. Opening the bedroom door, I found Ali and Lacey curled up on the bed crying, no, wailing was more an appropriate description. Lacey gave me a concerned glare and waved me away.

Yep, pillows could wait. I went back to the workshop and stretched out on the freshly inflated bed, opened my beer and tried to relax. I may have fallen asleep; it seemed dark when Kaley poked her head in the door. "Dad, dinner's ready."

She looked like she had been crying; her eyes were puffy and red. "Are you all right, Pudding?"

She nodded, "Yeah, what about you, Dad?"

"I don't know, Honey. I guess we will wait and see."

She rushed over and fell into my arms. "You're not going to get a divorce are you?" she wailed, her body trembling and shuddering. Her face flooded with tears. "Please, Dad, promise me."

"I can't do that, Pudding. Right now all I want to do is beat your mother with a big stick."

"I know, I feel the same, everybody's going to be talking and making fun of us."

"They sure are." I could see the strain on her face. "Do you want to go and stay with your grandparents for a while? This is going to be ugly."

"No, I'm staying, Mum is going to need us just as much as you are. We're here for you, Dad. We all love you, even Mum."

I chuckled. "I'm not sure about that one, Pudding."

"I know she did a horrible thing, Dad, but she is sorry."

"Honey, there's a difference between being sorry, and being sorry you were caught." She gave me a confused look.

She didn't understand, and I wasn't sure I did either.

Ali waited until the girls were in their rooms sulking before she talked to me.

"Paul, we don't have to rush into this. I know you're angry, I know you're upset. Maybe if we waited for a while? Gave ourselves a chance to talk when we are all a little calmer."

"No, I don't think so, Ali. This situation, might be okay for you. Just a joke, hah-hah, you will probably be treated like a celebrity. But I'm broken, you ripped my heart out, Ali, do realise that? You destroyed my life, took away everything that was valuable to me. Jesus, I fucking loved you. I have broken my fucking back for this family, and that's how you pay me back?" I took time to glare at her guilt-ridden face before adding: "Then to top that off, I am going to be a bloody laughing stock. Everybody is going to be pointing the finger and laughing behind my back. I feel humiliated enough as it is. You realise I'm going to get roasted alive, I will be the butt of everyone's jokes."

She stared back impassively, coldly. "I said I was sorry, and I meant it. I did a selfish silly thing, but who cares what other people think? That is no grounds for divorce. Who cares what other people say or think?"

"What they say will only be reiterating what I think of myself. If you think I will just accept that you spent the last three weeks shagging another man, you're bloody mistaken, I am not going to be made a fool of."

"I think you're just reacting; you're not thinking clearly. I love you, Paul. I made a serious misjudgement, but nobody died, it was silly, and selfish. You're right, I never thought it through. I do think that if you considered forgiveness, it would show maturity, consideration, love, compassion."

I just snorted derisively.

She replied with a hiss. "So you are just going to divorce me, because of how people perceive you, because you think by divorcing me, you will appear stronger, more manly.?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure. I need expert advice, hopefully I can get that tomorrow."

"Paul, for what it's worth, I love you. I don't want a divorce. If you give me a chance, I'll make it up to you."

"How the hell are you going to do that, Ali?"

I could see she was searching for words, a way to express herself. "I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Doing anything, and everything. You name it, I'll do it."

"Okay, here's a start. The media are going to be chasing a story from you. Tell them all Chisholm is a lousy lay. Tell them he couldn't get it up, he was the worst lay you have ever had."

She looked flummoxed. "Why would I say that?"

"Because I asked you to, and you said you'd do anything."

"Paul, I'm not talking to the papers. I'm not going to pander to them. As far as I'm concerned, the rest of the world can fuck off. All I care about is you, the girls and me. I don't want to see them hurt any more than they already have been."

I helped with clean up, grabbed a couple of beers and headed for the back door. "Where are you going?" Ali asked.

"I've set up the old blow-up mattress in the store room. I'm going to sleep out there until we get things sorted."

"Oh, for pity's sake, Paul. You don't have to do that. You can sleep in your own bed."

The girls stared, nervous, anxious. Ali glared at me. Kaley quickly grabbed Lace's hand and dragged her away, up to the bedroom. Hearing their bedroom door close, Ali snapped. "Paul, you can sleep in our bed, I don't bite, god, it's not like I have a disease or anything."

"That's yet to be established, actually, Ali. With the reputation that scum-bag has, god knows what he gave you."

She looked horrified, disgusted, but as we stared at each other I saw her face set determinedly. "We used condoms for your information."

"Yeah, what about when you sucked his cock, did he wear a condom for that? VD, or bloody herpes are all transmissible orally."

Her face twisted angrily. "Fuck you, Paul."

"No you won't Ali, never again."

She burst into a fresh bout of tears and rushed off. I heard the bedroom door slam.

The blow-up mattress wasn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but the beers helped.

The morning was one of those dull overcast days. Ali was already up and showered when I walked in. She sucked in a deep breath and said with a sneer, "Good morning, sleep well did you?"

She laughed as I tried to stretch out and shake off the aches and pains. "You're a bloody dummy. You know there is no need for you to sleep out there."

"Ali, I'm not sleeping with you ever again. You obviously don't enjoy lovemaking with me. Otherwise you wouldn't have looked elsewhere."

My retort didn't sit well. "Paul, I didn't set out for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Stop saying that, Ali; you clearly didn't care about me, or the girls. We are now at the start of what is going to be a big shit storm. Don't try to say you didn't set out to hurt me, because I don't believe you."

I went up to the bedroom to get showered and changed. Breakfast waited for me, and Kaley and Lacey were waiting for me. "Good morning, Dad."

"Hey girls, what have you got on at school today?"

"Usual stuff."

"I'll take the girls to school today." Ali volunteered.

When I walked into the small office we worked out of, the whole team was there waiting. Yeah it was one of those moments. I heard all the laughter and chatter as I approached the office, but the minute I walked in, it all came to a halt.

"Morning." I stated loudly. There were greetings from everyone as I set my bag down and pulled out the work orders for the day.

One of the riggers, Mark sniggered. "Hows the wife, mate, is she home yet?"

I decided to take the offensive. Everybody obviously knew. "Yeah, very funny, Mark. You all know what happened. If you've got anything to say, now is your chance. Come on spit it out." I glared angrily around the room. Mark looked guilty. "Sorry, Paul. I should have kept my big mouth shut."

With a twisted grimace, I snarled. "No, you've obviously got something to say, lets hear it."

Steve, one of the planners, jumped in. "Boss, we all know what happened, and we are sorry. We have got your back, mate."

There was a generous round oh, hey-heys before I dragged them back to the job at hand. Throughout the day, there were several comments from different people. A couple of clients gave me a hard time. I was apparently going to be the butt of plenty of jokes over the next little while.

As good as the guys were, it was impossible to hide from everyone, and the day was filled with finger pointing and snide nasty comments.

It didn't help that the local radio station was running with the story during their talkback segment, and there were lots of callers calling into the station, all of them suggesting actions for me to take.

I did speak to my solicitor; we had become friends over the years. He helped me set up my company, and I had thrown a fair bit of work his way. We went through the possible options.

He did give me some advice. "Paul, whatever you do, don't do it out of anger. Take some time and think very clearly. I have come to know both you and Ali pretty well over the years. I don't know what came over her, but that's not the Ali we all know. Take your time, Paul. Think before you act."

When I got home, the girls and Ali were all flat out in the kitchen preparing dinner. The girls welcomed me with big hugs and kisses. It was obvious they had been crying. Their eyes were red and puffy.

Ali gave me a big smile; she didn't try for the hug. "How was work?" she asked.

"How do you think it went? I spent the whole day listening to snarky nasty comments, shitty jokes and finger pointing. Yeah, it was just peachy."

She cringed at my angry response, she plainly wanted to say something, but I cut her off. "What the hell were you expecting? It was a shit day and tomorrow will probably be the same."