My Wife and the Singer

"It's okay, sweets. I'm not letting her use that money for the car. No bloody way, but I won't say where I found out. I'll get her to admit it."

She grimaced. "Please, Dad, don't. Things have been so pleasant lately. Don't spoil it."

I walked her to the door and I think she sensed my tension. She ran inside crying. "Mum, I stuffed up. I told Dad about the car."

When I got inside they were standing in a cuddle. "Don't worry, Lacey. I was going to tell him anyway. If you could go up to your room and leave us to talk please."

Kaley, who had been in the kitchen ran out, gathered up Lacey's hand and they went up to the bedroom.

"Ali, there's no way I will allow you to buy that car with the proceeds of that tour. His money is not being spent on my daughters."

"Don't be daft, Paul. What does it matter whether I spend the money on groceries, doctor's bills, school equipment or a car? I will spend it all on the girls. There's no reason they should suffer because we can't behave like adults."

"Like adults?" I barked. "You knew damned well I wasn't going to be happy about this, which is why you kept your mouth shut about it, and why you got the girls to lie to me."

"Nobody lied, Paul. I was always going to tell you. I just wanted the right time."

I turned and walked towards the door. "Yeah, seems like that's your thing, aye? Just waiting for the right time. Well, it's not happening."

"Paul, don't be an egg, Honey. It's just a car."

"Yeah, just like it was just sex."

The next day I bought the car myself. I had it delivered so it would be sitting in the driveway when they got home. Of course, my phone exploded with angry calls. Ali was furious, and spluttered and moaned as she showered me with an expletive ridden rant.

In the end, I just said, "Too bad, it's already done, and that's that. I can't undo it, can I?"

She realised what I was getting at and disconnected the call immediately. Lacey was the other end of the spectrum, she was ecstatic. Filled with tearful joy, she forgot her mothers anger.

It started a mini battle between Ali and I. Ali went all out for Christmas; I only found out when the girls messaged me pictures of their Christmas tree piled with gifts.

Ali had obviously decided if she didn't buy the car, she was going to buy them whatever else they wanted. It pissed me off, but there wasn't much I could do about it.

As the days to Christmas passed, the pile got bigger and bigger.

Kaley sent me a couple of large wrapped boxes with my name on the box. "Are you at least coming on Christmas day to open presents? Please Dad, we love you, we want you here like always. Mum got you a really nice present, you'll love it."

"Sweetie, I will be with Nanna and Grandad. I already promised them."

"Dad, don't you love us any more?"

"Don't be silly, Kaley, you know I do, and I would love to be with you. I have your presents here. I would love you to come around and open them with me, maybe for Christmas dinner."

She sighed. "It won't be the same if you're not with us. Dad, you only have to be there, you don't have to stay. Even if it's just for Lacey and me."

She was good with the guilt, but I held my position, and we finished on a sad note.

It wasn't just Christmas day, there were the myriad of parties we usually attended together. My company Christmas party, usually Ali organised it. That year, I had to do it myself. She did call and offer to help, as always, and she was offended when I said no. I organised and attended alone. People thought they were doing the right thing by calling Ali names, saying what a bitch she was. I don't think they understood when I told them to shut up and never speak ill of her in my presence.

Christmas day was terrible. I woke early, like we always used to. The girls might be 15 and 16, but it was our day. We got up early, had hot chocolate and sat down to start opening presents.

The girls knew me too well. I got text messages from both of them, and it wasn't even eight in the morning.

"Merry Xmas, Dad. We are up if you want to come and visit. We have already made the chocolate." That was Lacey's message. Kaley's was a simple. "We're up, Dad, waiting for you. Please hurry, I'm dying to open my gifts."

I sucked in a deep breath. "Sorry, girls, I have to leave to go to Mum's. I will pick you up at five. Love you, merry Christmas." I wanted to call, but I didn't trust myself to hold it all together. I knew they would cry, and that would set me off.

This was the first time I had gone to my parents place for Christmas for fifteen years. It was nice, but of course, they were on the phone with the girls when I got there and naturally, Mum passed me the phone. It went exactly as I thought. We all ended up in tears.

Mum and Dad were both supportive of me, and couldn't help taking pot shots at Ali. I let it slide for a while, but as the comments got sharper, I had to warn them. "Stop with all the shitty comments about Ali. She is still my wife, and I don't want to hear this, especially from you two. Only months ago, you loved her like a daughter. Please, be respectful."

That put a little damper on proceedings. Lunch was nice, but the morning was full of photos from the girls. Jesus, Ali really had gone overboard. There was everything from new laptops, new phones, to the latest fashion labels.

There were some selfies of the three of them together, which didn't help.

I got there to pick them up at five, as promised. I tooted the horn, but there was no response. I tooted another couple of times before Lacey emerged. She ran out and threw open my door. "Come inside, Dad. Don't be rude, I know things aren't great between you, but please, come inside and be my dad."

I switched off the car and walked in. Kaley met me at the door with a huge hug. "Merry Christmas, Dad."

Ali, who looked devastatingly gorgeous, said, "Merry Christmas, Honey." She opened her arms for a hug. There was no escaping it. We hugged it out. Lacey grabbed a huge box from under the tree and handed it to me. "This one's from me."

The girls didn't have jobs, anything they brought came with money from Ali. I opened it slowly and was shocked to find an incredibly expensive tool set. They all looked so happy as I opened it, "Thanks. It's very nice." I tried to keep it cheerful, but I knew where this money came from, and there was no way I was accepting it. I made a mental note to stop at the Sally Army's drop box on the way home and leave the gifts there.

Kaley was next up and she was quick to pass me her present. This was a much smaller box, and when I opened it, I found a very expensive watch. I knew the brand and knew how much it cost. She jumped up and down clapping like a trained seal. "Do you like it? Maybe now you will be on time."

There was another one, this time it was from Ali. She handed it to me, but I put my hand up. "Ali, I didn't buy you anything, I won't be accepting anything from you."

She frowned, her forehead deeply creased. "Paul, this is for you. I wasn't expecting anything in return. Please don't turn this into a fight."

"No fight, Ali. I said no and meant it." Turning to face the girls I asked. "Are you ready to go?"

They both stared at each other. "Dad, can't we stay here for dinner? Mum's cooked a huge feast. It would be crazy to waste it."

"Look, girls, you knew I was picking you up." I glanced around the room and they all looked sad. Kaley spluttered. "Please, Dad, don't spoil it. Dinner will be fun."

As much as the anger burned, I relented. "Fine, have it your way."

They got me a glass of champagne and we all shared a drink and a toast of thanks, just like we always did. Even if they didn't get champagne.

The dinner was great, as it always was. Ali was a superb cook, and that day was no exception. The girls filled the table with conversation about the gifts they got, and what they were planning to do for the holidays.

Ali was quiet. I could see she wanted to talk, but kept her mouth shut until after desert.

After that and the girls went up to their rooms, Ali again tried to hand me her gift. I shook my head. "Sorry, Ali, I don't want anything paid for by that fucking prick."

She gritted her teeth. "I earned the money, the gift is from me."

"Yeah, earned it on your back. Let's not forget what the roadie said. You got the singing job because he wanted to fuck you, not because you could sing. You earned that money on your back."

Her happy cheery smile was gone, replaced by an evil glower. "You sad little man. I always said you were a strong man, generous and kind. Lately, all I have seen is this insecure feeble husk of the person I loved and respected. No way would my husband speak like that to anyone, let alone me. I refuse to say sorry again. I still want you back, if you can get over your stupid jealous bullshit. I still love you, and I miss you every day. The girls miss you, they still cry a lot. They need their father."

"I'm here for the girls, always will be. All going well, you and I will be divorced within six months. It's time to let go and start again."

I stood up to go and she glided into my arms before I could push her away. Her mouth crushed against mine. Her arms circled my waist and she held me tightly. The kiss, powerful and infused with passion and desperation. I couldn't hold out her tongue, it drove deeply into my open mouth and fought a sexy wrestling match with mine.

My arms, naturally, of their own volition, returned her embrace. The heat of her body was almost melting the nylon that separated us.

As our mouths separated, Ali whispered hoarsely. "Oh god, I needed that. Don't run away, Paul, be strong, do what you want, not what you think you have to do."

As my mouth opened to speak her mouth closed over mine, she sucked and nibbled on my lips, her tongue glided and slithered along side mine. Her breasts crushed against my chest so hard, her nipples, so hard and pointy, dug into my flesh.

Her pussy ground and writhed against my growing erection. "Stay with me, please don't go. Show the girls that you are the strong man they need. Show them forgiveness is possible."

Panting for breath, I shifted her hands. "I have to go, Ali. This isn't right."

I walked up the hall and gave the girls a hug goodbye. There were the tears, as usual, the girls promising to visit with me tomorrow.

For the most part, I didn't see much of Ali after that. I saw her when I went home to pick up the girls to take them somewhere, or she picked them up from my place. Seeing her always wrenched my guts. I hated seeing her look so attractive. If she was suffering from stress it never showed. Because of shared friends, I knew her work life was going well, her new found determination and independence showed through and she even managed to win over her boss, who tried to get rid of her after the event. It seemed like I was the only one struggling to let go. Many of her friends had returned. Ali kept her head high and refused to give in to the haters.

She still managed to land shots without even trying. I turned up at home to pick up the girls, only to find Kaley and Ali in a deep discussion. As I walked in I heard Kaley begging. "Please mum, lots of girls get them."

Ali laughed. "I'm not saying no, sweetie, what I am saying is ask your father. I'm afraid he will not be so accepting."

Kaley, who hadn't seen me, blurted out. "It's not fair, you've got one. Why can't I?"

Ali looked shocked, seeing me appear behind Kaley. "Hello Paul."

Kaley turned and with a pleading tone snapped. "Dad, can I get a tattoo?"

I was pretty stunned. "No bloody way. You're too young."

"But all my friends have them. Mum has one. Why not?"

I glared at Ali, I knew damn well she didn't have any tats.

"Kaley, neither your mother or I have tats. My answer is no, absolutely not."

Kaley, ever the explosive one, turned and ran up to her bedroom. I glared at Ali. "What was she talking about tats?"

She sucked in a deep breath. "I got a tat at the end of the tour. All the band members got one. It was to celebrate the end of the tour. They always got them."

"Where is this bloody tat?"

She turned and raised her hair. At the base of her neck there was a Lizard, with all the band members initials. It was only small, but it was there.

"Fucking hell, Ali. Not only do you fuck the bastard, but you let him mark you, as well. When were you going to tell me about that?"

She grimaced, her voice a breathless whisper. "I planned to let you find it yourself. The tat was nothing to do with Rob; it was just a memento of the tour. It was the band choice."

"Yeah, a wonderful memento of your special time with the arsehole."

She winced as my words slapped her hard. "Paul, if it upsets you, I'll get it removed."

"Fuck, don't do it for me. We are no longer a couple, maybe you can rub it while you think about him."

I screamed at the girls to hurry up. I had planned to take them out shopping for the day.

"Paul, it had nothing to do with Rob. I enjoyed the tour, I loved it. I wanted it to remember what was a fun experience."

"Yeah, go on rub it in. Fuck, listen to yourself, Ali. You think I want another man's mark on your body? Jesus, for a clever woman, you are a dumb bitch sometimes."

The girls arrived and we left. Kaley seemed very sad. "I'm sorry, Dad, I wasn't going to say anything."

*****

Time is the elusive number cruncher. Months dragged by; I felt depressed, nothing seemed to make sense. Having the girls continuously trying to rebuild our marriage made it hard. I was never able to isolate her out of my life. I felt twisted so tight by bitterness, and still attached by some imaginary bungee cord.

Dating isn't easy for a bloke nudging forty. All my mates were married; hanging out with them wasn't going to get me in a situation where I could meet women my own age. Pubs and clubs were never really my scene, I did try, but being the oldest bloke in a club is no fun.

It was one of the young guys at work who introduced me to the wonderful world of internet dating. He helped me build a profile and got me started on swiping and messaging. It took a while, but I did meet a couple of women, yes we dated, some I even had sex with.

It amazed me how many women were looking for no strings attached sex. It worked great for me, at first anyway. It let me blow of steam and get rid of some dirty water. The problem being, I didn't want just casual sex; what was missing from my life was companionship, conversation, intimacy.

I started to realise what a huge part of my life Ali had been, and, I was still in love with her.

At a work mate's birthday party, I met a young woman, the girlfriend of one of my employees. She was lovely, and easy to talk to. Of course she already knew the story, but while we were having a quiet drink, she asked for the more intimate details. I reluctantly told her how it all came to pass.

She nodded and listened, but then gave a deep sigh. "I know this sounds horrible, but if I was your wife, I probably would have done the same thing. Not with that dude, he was a bit old for me, but if it was one of my favourite singers, and I had a chance to bang him. I would do it."

"Does Devon know that?"

She giggled a little more. "Yes, I was honest with him after your relationship blew up. I said, babe, if it was me and Eddie Vedder, game over, he could have me." She tried to make it a joke, seeing my anguish, she quickly added.

"At first he was a little pissed, but when I said he was a hypocrite, because if Rihanna wanted to bonk him, he would be in her bed before she could get her gear off." She gave me an evil grin. "Come on, be honest. Who is the sexiest female singer in the world? In your opinion."

I shrugged. "I don't know, I always thought Alicia Keys was hot."

"So put yourself in your wife's shoes. Alicia Keys seduces you, and you know you're not going to get caught. You're drunk, smoked some weed, probably a few lines as well. Tell me you wouldn't do it."

"I don't know, I hope I wouldn't, but yeah, maybe."

"Bullshit dude, there's no maybe about it. You are in the middle of having one of the greatest nights of your life. We all saw the video of him inviting her on stage. She was awestruck, her favourite singer was singing her favourite songs, gazing into her eyes. She was in heaven, we all saw it. Then later, he seduces her. Not many people would have rebuffed him."

The girls hated it when they found out I was dating. Lacey caught me at the movies with a woman. This was our third date, we had been out for dinner and were standing in line at the cinema.

I spotted Lacey at the same time she spotted me. She came running over and jumped into my arms. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

I laughed. "The same as you. Going to see a movie."

She gave me a funny look. "If you want you can come in and sit with Barbara and me. You don't have to be by yourself."

I coughed, and said, "I'm not here alone. I'm with Carriss. I stepped out of the way and Lacey saw her.

She gave me the most evil glare, then shot daggers at Carriss.

Before I could introduce them, Lacey was gone. I saw her in an animated conversation with her friend.

Carriss looked upset. "We can go if you like. This is obviously making your daughter uncomfortable."

"No, she needs to understand that her mother and I are no longer together."

We got our tickets and found seats. We had only just sat down when Lacey and her friend came and sat right behind us.

Lacey was at her worst and made no attempt to keep things quiet. She snapped rudely. "Shit, you'd think he could at least find somebody hot, not a slapper like her." Carriss, heard it, Christ, the whole theatre could hear.

She stood up turned and snapped. "You, young lady, are a very nasty malicious piece of work." She stormed off out of the theatre, leaving her drink and me stuck there. I shot Lacey, who now looked very unsettled, a nasty glare of my own and ran out after Carriss.

That spoilt the date, and I ended up taking her home early.

I picked up Lacey the next morning for her a driving lesson, which I was giving her.

She jumped in the car with me, looking very pensive. "I'm sorry about last night, Dad. I had no right to do that, but honestly, that woman was horrible."

"How do you know; you didn't even say hello."

"She looked horrible. Why are you dating anyway? If you want company, why not go out with Mum."

"Lacey, your Mother is moving on with her life, and I'm sure she has had plenty of dates."

"Rubbish, she has had plenty of offers, but she hasn't been on one single date. She is sadly waiting for you to come to your senses."

"Lacey, I know you love your Mum, and you think you're doing the right thing. But tell me what you would have done if you were in my place? What if your boyfriend, yes, I know you've got one, what if he cheated on you, and the whole school found out, what would you do?"

She shivered. "I don't know. If you asked me that six months ago, I would have said kill him. Now after watching Mum despondently moping and pining after you, I'm not so sure."

We headed off on our driving lesson and I couldn't help but ask. "You expect me to believe your mother hasn't dated anybody else."

She grinned that evil grin, knowing she hooked me. "Nope, not a single one, and what's more. I know she's had tons of invites."

"How do you know that?" I spluttered.

She tapped the side of her nose giggling. "The nose knows all, right? I have my ways."

She snapped, "Dad, she still loves you. She never stopped loving you. She had laser surgery to get rid of the tattoo, you know."

"Lacey, you don't understand, it's still there, the words might be gone, but the scar is there. It's her memento, her wonderful keepsake. Every time I touched her, every time I looked into her eyes, I know that I'm second best."