All Comments on 'My Wife's Sister'

Boring!

I just love it when sisters share . . . . Is there a sequel anytime soon.

Nice starter story, but way too short. The sister arriving part was great but the rest turned into a short story. Take your time in your visualization of events. Don't be afraid to expand the sequences and actions by the participants. Think about some of your experiences and I'm sure you'll agree it took a lot longer. Your writing style is descriptive. You've obviously been working hard to portray what is happening. Just expand that a little more without overdoing it (ie: my14'' monster schlong) and you'll be fine. Working on part two will allow you to expand your writing skills and enhancing what we are seeing as we read. KEEP WRITING!!

Good job. Keep up the good work.

Your story would be easier to read if you used quotation marks. It's almost like reading a run-on sentence the way you wrote it.

Dialogue should always be in quotation marks. Also you really should describe the characters when the first enter a story and the typical stuff that is included is: age,height, weight, hair style and color, eyes, breast size if female.

With lines like, "...but my sister in law has larger breast and slightly bigger ass...", I have to wonder who wrote this? Tarzan? Tonto? Frankenstein's Fucking Monster? "My sister have big ass. No dick. You go now."

Sloppy and boring as fuck, from beginning to end. The one bright spot with this story is that it WAS so short. Although it might be argued (successfully) that four paragraphs might still have been three too many.

What a FANTASTIC way to start the day.

Can't wait for the next chapter

I normally don't read stories like this that have no dialog in quotation marks. But for whatever reason, I decided to, and I'm glad I did. This was sexy as fuck. It's short, but it gets the job done.

Though, the characters are unbelievable. Like, the wife goes from jealous of her sister to letting him get a hand job. That part made no sense.

Good Start, just getting hard when it ended

you are on your wife doggy style

whispers in her ear:

"Your sister is better"

Now we'll see you do'nt fall..............

...But I can't get past the bad grammar, run on sentences and awful dialogue.

Get an editor.

A few tips:

1. Except in very specific circumstances a woman has breasts (plural) not breast (singular)

2. A paragraph is a grouping of sentences with one complete thought or topic. Not, "hey I have 10 sentences maybe I should make a new paragraph."

3. Dialogue should be in quotes.

I might want to take a day off.