All Comments on 'Mystery Lover App'

Stopped reading on the first page that described 2 different rape scenarios.

not a bad form of revenge, but its funny how many people read the same story and yet some idiots come of with rape on a free erotica website.......hummmmm

If you're gonna do the crime - NEVER make a video of it. Morons.

He said he wasn't a rapist but raped the unconcious girl in the start...

Different...and quite funny. Thanks for your work.

Very good, entertaining and fun definitely ALL consensual!!! Lighten up Snowflakes.

Two stars.

Good sex story, a real fantasy. Kind of like beating the casino. it rarely happens.

Not.my usual, but this was too good to pass up. Guess he showed the pretentious assholes and their whores who was the man. Take that Zoey. I always enjoy a story told with a little humor, and this was funny.

Ruined his life for some kicks. What a moron.

Another thing, 4 page story with a very short payoff. The author could have cut an encounter or two in exchange for a more detailed ending and the story wouldn't suffer.

Granted, I was expecting more engagement with the GF, like BF finding out she was using the app and surprise her in that way. It didn't turn out that way and that's okay. Still, I believe the story and the characters could have been fleshed out some more, resulting in a more comprehensive and cohesive plot.

As it is, it's a really frustrating read and one probably more suited to other places due to how 'grey' the plot is.

Alternative ending:

I nodded, turned towards the door observing a decorative birdcage with a fake bird inside. I turned back to the room pointing to the cage and asked no one in particular with a loud voice. “Is that a Goldfinch?”

Decent story except he did RAPE two of the women in the beginning. A woman has to be conscious and aware enough to consent to sex, and not be under the effects of any drug or alcohol. So your main character, committed rape twice, and did his best to destroy 3 marriages. Since no condoms were used what will happen if one or more of the women get pregnant with his kid? What about STDs? He got his revenge, but considering that he is a good gambler and knows the odds he took the high risk path.

Not a single sympathetic character in the whole story except maybe Sally. Why would Zoey dump such a peach of a guy? Sex was uninspiring without emotion. Minor tense and grammar problems.

Generally, I loved the premise of the story and it was well written. I have one sharp criticism that I would even appreciate you go back and remove that early section. You start out the story with him RAPING Gigi and Flora - WTH! Later in the story, you write, 'I've been a cad and a selfish lover, but never a rapist." If you have sex with someone who's incapacitated or can't reasonably give consent, that's rape! The sad part is that section doesn't add anything to the story, simply lazy writing at best. The rest of the story was very entertaining and I loved the ending. Nice epilogue would have been nice - how many got divorced? Did Gigi call him after her divorce looking to hook up? 3* but could have been 5*...

And he really wonders why his girlfriend dropped him!!!

A serial rapist as well...

Really funny! An over the top and a silly ride, quite enjoyable. The author does this kind of story quite well.

good, until the end.

Don't know why, but the end left an empty feeling. The protagonist had so much going for him, except the loss of his child, that was a bummer, but so many leftists (rich folk) are consumed with the superiority of self and Godlessness... It's just that thankfulness seems missing these days, in so many ways.

Good use of language and punctuation, so high marks there (a wonder on this site).

Smokepole

I liked the concept of the story but would have been much better if you had used an editor or at least re-read the story before hitting send. A couple of minor things. You wrote "I hadn't had that, but I knew kids in high school and college who had had their stomachs pump to avoid alcohol poisoning." Yet earlier you had said that he was a high school dropout. Not many colleges accept people without high school diplomas. You used quotations when writing inner dialog. It's very confusing.

Of course the obvious and disturbing miss was the part about raping two women and claiming that he was not a rapist. Did you forget that you had written that in earlier? It could have ( and probably should have) been taken out and the story would have worked fine. Gigi still could have confessed her use of the app in her inebriated state and he could have walked away with that knowledge without the plot changing a bit. Fucking Sally was not pertinent to the story nor was the overexplaining of alcohol poisoning, PJ's and his skiing ability. A good editor would have rooted those things out and used that time and space to cover more things that are interesting such, as some pointed out an aftermath. Early on, more character development. What is the history of the relationship and why were they even together given their different social standings? Why, given that Flora and the other woman, were rich and extremely vain, did they not get boob jobs?

I did like it. It could have been much better had you paid closer attention.

Well, aside from the rapes and misogyny, which were quite repulsive, I did stop reading several times. While my natural inclination would be to abandon the story after the rapes, there was a degree of raffish humour that lessened any thought that this was in any way real. Clearly the narrator's girlfriend and her friends were completely repulsive bitches (including their husbands) so I felt a compulsion to see them get their cum-uppance, realising that because it was funny, it might be fun to be along for the ride. The only decent character in the piece was Sally, the others had no redeeming features at all, including the fictional narrator. So I read a few other stories in between to give me a better perspective. The ending was predictable, end of baby (aborted possibly? She had time), end of relationship, a finale with a big fat FU to the participants, hearing Sally's brighter outlook had given her the renewed self-confidence in her allure to try for a second chance and the narrator even got one over on both the casino odds and the so-called high society herberts and herberesses, and walk away clean. But, as he'd had unprotected sex with these privileged and indulgent sluts, I'd suggest he visit the STD clinic without delay and, hey, warn Sally too.

Better ending ... hey ladies "goldfinch" and then walk out

I find it interesting how many 'Legal Eagles' spend what would otherwise be billable hours to read stories here and then comment on them.

Several courts have ruled that the claim of "mental incapability" in a rape case is negated when the victim knowingly and willingly consumes the alcohol or drugs that results in the incapacitation. While the women in the beginning of the story may have been unaware that Adam had sex with them, it was their actions that made them unaware, hence, these were not rapes in the legal sense. Morally questionable, sure, but definitely not "non-consensual".

Great burn. Most burns in one story I can recall.

Very inventive. Top notch.

**Note from the author** May, 2021

Some of the earlier comments may not make sense since this story has been re-written.

In the original version, the first night Adam encountered two drunk women, Gigi and Flora, and has sex with both of them. Some readers rightly protested that he raped them since they couldn't give consent. The rapes were not necessary for the plot so I re-wrote part of the story

I need Adam to learn that the mystery lover app existing. Now, a drunk, nearly naked, Gigi tells Adam about the app which he then used to invite Gigi and other to cheat on their husbands and have sex with him.

Great story. Cumupence is a good story line. Well done choreography of the trysts and adding Sally was a master stroke. Glad you changed the parts of the tale that I probably wouldn't have liked. The final result was extraordinary. As usual you have outdone yourself.