All Comments on 'Mything You'

Nice to see you back again, and still writing wonderful stories.

I love you're writing style, even your short stories feel like a prelude to chapter one. I'm sure i'm not the only one who just finished reading this wishing there was more of this story to come. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, i for one truly appreciate it.

Ok I'm a admittedly emotional person, but still dude. You had me laughing, and crying in a story this short! My God, I feel like I should encourage you to go professional, but I dont want to cause if I did I wouldn't get to read these amazing stories for free. Really amazing job!

Great tale of loss and redemption.

A whole new BurntRedstone universe with the top-notch characters & writing you have always delivered. Looking forward to reading more!

Deep emotions, good characters - just a darned good read! I hope there’s more coming. *****

It is begging for a second part.

developed, written.

Well done!

I hope you will continue writing, I enjoy your stories!

Please don't break Sam's heart.....

This story is another in what is becoming a long list of your stories I love. Beautifully written story of loss, redemption and the power of love. Bravo!

That's not what anaphylaxis is like, at all.

Aside from that, I made it part way through chapter 2 before boredom overcame me.

another 5* story. great character development, and dialogue within the story obviously the previous anon could not get the death scene which is written on a fiction site out of his head, keep up the great work and thanks for your time, about time for a new satyr story lol

I agree with Muskboy. Please don't break Sam's heart. Another brilliant piece of writing. Thank you for sharing and I pray you continue the story.

As others say do not let Sam feel the loss and pain that goes with it again, let the storyline run with more happiness than heartbreak please. 5*+ Iceman

That was a beautiful story and I'm not ashamed to say a was reading through a lot of tears.

5 on this one. Nice, if sketched, character development. While the armor was lovingly described, a little more time on the characters would be good. I can visualize the chain mail better than the characters (aside from Sam, who's well-described).

Anaphylaxis is unfortunately slower. Or, stretch out the scene of him realizing the EMTs went the wrong way.

I think non-cosplayers might not have great visuals of cons. I suggest adding atmospherics: what's in some of the booths they pass by? What do the con people look like? He's got a metal sword: usually that's peace-tied. That's a fun detail to put into the piece that gives someone a unique visual (as if there weren't enough unique visuals at a good con!) Heck, toss a few furries into the mix. :)

Sam is passive in this story. Yeah, he's coming out of deep grief. At the end we find he's gone to a counselor. Was that after the great con? He needs to do more than week. You mention in the beginning that he only does what work tells him to. What work? Can we get an at-work scene the next day? His interaction with co-workers is a great way to flesh out his characters.

What this story _really_ needs is conflict or danger. If you turn the rental issue @ the end into the driving issue making them all consider decisions, and have the place available in the nick of time, that'd put tension into the piece. Where will they live? 2 of them are facing huge rent increases, one's having their house sold by the owner out from under them. Sam's building's going condo. Taylor's looking at eviction. David got laid off his current place and now has to make his startup business work or he's on the street. Adding these tensions will shape the interactions of the characters, instead of the simple adoration that they have for each other. And Rick.

I'd love to see more chapters about this. Redemption for Rick? You've really put together a great world.

5 on this one. Nice, if sketched, character development. While the armor was lovingly described, a little more time on the characters would be good. I can visualize the chain mail better than the characters (aside from Sam, who's well-described).

Anaphylaxis is unfortunately slower. Or, stretch out the scene of him realizing the EMTs went the wrong way.

I think non-cosplayers might not have great visuals of cons. I suggest adding atmospherics: what's in some of the booths they pass by? What do the con people look like? He's got a metal sword: usually that's peace-tied. That's a fun detail to put into the piece that gives someone a unique visual (as if there weren't enough unique visuals at a good con!) Heck, toss a few furries into the mix. :)

Sam is passive in this story. Yeah, he's coming out of deep grief. At the end we find he's gone to a counselor. Was that after the great con? He needs to do more than week. You mention in the beginning that he only does what work tells him to. What work? Can we get an at-work scene the next day? His interaction with co-workers is a great way to flesh out his characters.

What this story _really_ needs is conflict or danger. If you turn the rental issue @ the end into the driving issue making them all consider decisions, and have the place available in the nick of time, that'd put tension into the piece. Where will they live? 2 of them are facing huge rent increases, one's having their house sold by the owner out from under them. Sam's building's going condo. Taylor's looking at eviction. David got laid off his current place and now has to make his startup business work or he's on the street. Adding these tensions will shape the interactions of the characters, instead of the simple adoration that they have for each other. And Rick.

I'd love to see more chapters about this. Redemption for Rick? You've really put together a great world.

The pain and other emotions were well written. Your attempt to work with such a difficult theme was great.

I loved the characters and the whole story! 5*

Loved the characters, loved the plot, loved the writing, and apparently different from the others who left comments, thought the ending was perfect. Sam was in a good place as the story ended.

I've not always been a fan of how long some of your previous stories have been, but this one really needed to be significantly longer to be believable. Guy is in therapy for a yearish and makes no progress. Then he runs into a pretty blonde and gets a shave and is magically all better? Girl goes from unknown model to huge cosplay star in a couple of months? While I'm pretty sure both chapters of the "Shifting" series could lose 5ish pages without losing anything, this one needed those pages.

I rarely comment but loved this story. I'd really like to see it continue. Thank you.

Beautifully written

I need this to be a series the story is too good. Please! I'm begging you!

You keep hitting them out of the park! Love your story telling! Thank you for sharing your talent!

That was brilliant alluding to Peter Jackson. I agree with other commentators this needs to be a series, if you're not already inclined to keep it going. I know your plate is full with Ben Shepard.

Missing some conflict and much shorter than your usual stories. Too easy for the main characters to fall in with each other. Don’t rush your excellent work!

GREAT story! I laughed. I cried. I was left wanting to hear much more from these friends! Every story of yours that I read, I like more than the last last story of yours that I read. That's saying a lot as I loved the first one that I read. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to write and share your work!

A good story by a great storyteller. You kept it short and tight for the contest, but left plenty of room to take it further. I’m curious, did they moved to Ashburn Court? I do hope you do continue the story. Thanks for the story.

Always a pleasure to read something from your pen (or computer...LOL)!!!!!!!!

As always you provide us with a great story hopefully you will write at least one more chapter to this story.

More buildup, more story, she jumped his bone way too soon after meeting his friends once while he was skinny enough to be described as gaunt and unhealthy enough that his friends would intervene. You gave us an apple pie with missing slices and no toppings. I’ve read all of your work and enjoy the longer ones immensely.

Once again you have made an amazing story. I can see another one or two more for sam and the gang. There is so much potential to make it a series of stories. Keep up the amazing work.

I am a sucker for green-eyed blondes! Thank you!

It really needs continuation of the story and characters. Thanks

Good read, hope you can continue this story.

Thanks for sharing your stories, I love Jack, Ben and Ed’s adventures.

Love is something wonderful like life still and unborn, like the quit of a misty morn,

and the intensity of a raging thunder storm.

You'r story has all this and more.

Thanks

Woodie

The characters are too well developed with too much potential to have their stories end here.

Friends accepting someone that quickly? Sam turning around in 12 hours? And accepting a 3 way relationship right at the start? So many unbelievable things in one story. And why do so many stories make it seem like more than half the population is not straight when in reality it is a very small minority?

By the way relationships with multiple people don't work long term in real life. Their is always jealousy of time shared. And speaking of which why would you make a commitment to someone who can't make a commitment to you. Not much of a relationship their to begin with. I see a breakup or divorce in the near future.

i came to this thinking it would be something like Tx Tall Tales 'Charity Begins Next Door' but i didn't get that here at all. it felt more like an arranged marriage into a harem for the MC. i did not see the healing at all.

Was rushed. Would have taken longer to merge her into a group.

She liked him but first time with him she makes out with his friend in his apartment?

And she's bi?

This guy isn't stable enough for that led his you wrote the character.

But needed some polishing, Taylor as a character just didn't come off as a likeable person. I know it's fiction but I don't know many people who would be super accepting of

"hey I like you and you're doing me a huge favor and we have this chemistry I can't explain but you weren't in the room so I tried to fuck your friend in your house"

Just seems kind of... Trashy. And then when she was like hey I'm really interested and I wanna be invested in this but I also want to fuck your friend sooooo

Again, good premise, just needed more time to be thought through I think.

Lovingly told story of grief, friendship and lucky circumstances. The heart was engaged through the grief and grew through the list into love. Well done without being overdone. Bravo!

A great story. Loved it.

The only problem with this story is there isn’t enough of it.

Fine story but I wished there was more! Maybe a sequel?

Great story. I find that after reading the long story series, the shorter ones lack much of the emotional impact. It’s not a bad thing… it’s just my opinion.

Was a great story till it leaked into the intended partner couldn’t keep the focus and let it matchup with someone else. If he’s able to get with another woman on the side like Taylor is then it may seem balanced. But right now it’s not balanced and not liking it.

Good story. I even liked Taylor’s request to explore Jaz. Not normal but Taylor explains and asks. Sam’s acceptance seems natural. The next stage is uncertain. Does he end up with two beautiful women? I think so. Though I suspect Jaz eventually moves on,but it is set for a long term threesome Well done. I’d love more. Thanks John.

I really liked this story, but it seems like you left an awful lot on the table. You could definitely revisit this story and it would not be getting stale anytime soon!

I loved this, very emotional but ended up beautifully.

Personally not sure I could leave Christie like he has, our family have a Christmas Eve tradition, we visit the cemetery and pay our respects to those gone before.

We keep their memory alive this way. I personally would like to have read that Sam and Jaz introduce Taylor to Christie, thereby perpetuating her memory.

But hey, I'm a sentimental auld sod.

Simon_Masters

Intense ...... Razors edge tale ....... Such tragedy cam kill easily ome or more other souls or leave them loke empty shells ...... Teading this, and even some of your other tales, is so intense and im taken with emotions

Thank you for sharimg your talent

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

A sensitive treatment of the cosplay D&D world. The final scene at Christie's grave touched me deeply. Very well written--not overstated.

Honestly, my only problem with the story is the pacing. You set up the lengthy grieving time, which was realistic and perfect. But then had an overnight rush into a relationship with someone he just met, which should have been taken slowly, at least a few dates, as the man who had been wallowing in his grief adjusted to this new development. Their relationship was just way too quick to be believable.

Other than that though, it was a well written, brief example of this wonderful authors storytelling talent.

Firstly I really enjoyed this story, there’s a visible story arc and the main characters are well drawn and we empathise with them, but I can’t help feeling that either the story has been edited down to a shorter length for a reason known only to the author, or that it was written and posted quickly. I say that because we get Sam & Taylor’s backstory, but not Jasmine’s, which is odd for a love triangle. We also know nothing further about the rest of the group, but know they’ve been an integral part of Sam’s life, then there’s the cryptic ending where we are led to believe they move for cheaper rent, but there’s no proper follow up, just hints about Taylor’s channel, the movie connection and any involvement the rest of the group might have in a brighter future. TLDR great story, but could have been outstanding but for more work.

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Fun, thank you.

Great story, no matter how many times I read it! 5 BIG FUCKING STARS!

Nice story!

Is Jasmine a nod to AspernEssling's Jazz in Gamers? Different personalities so it doesn't feel like an issue at all :)

I think this was an excellent story. I just feel from the characters that it was rushed to keep it short. All the time spent on the sadness and Sam's connection with Christie, but his connection to Taylor is literally overnight. The story would have been better served I think if that connection took longer and was part of his healing.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To suffer survivor's guilt and then find another to help accept and move on is a blessing. Moving rapidly and forward (to Hollywood?) Is a great morale boost