All Comments on 'Naked Excursions'

Enjoyed your stories. You might want to go back through and check the names though. You mixed up Nancy and Carolyn a few times. Like on the last page "I think Nancy and Sarah were looking at each other" when Nancy isn't in the scene

We all want to read without interruption. Spelling and grammatical errors, omissions, and the like are distractions from a good story. However, the better the story, the more we readers are forced to ignore the shortfalls while plowing onward.

You really need to proofread your writing; remember who's getting laid; and who's an observer. That said, even with all the shortfalls, a great story gets a "5!"

Sorry about any errors. Ive been writing these while a little under the weather.

Like the others have said, you need to pay attention to grammar and characters.

Not sure I have read a story with this writing style, but I have to say that I liked it as it made it easy to skip to the "interesting" parts of the story. Good job - 4 stars from me.

Plus: Good pace, compact without becoming jumpy, the girls felt like girls and not just fantasies, the "lesbianism" felt like the girls just wanted attention from the guy like in the real world

Minus: Dragged a bit toward the end, the cuckold thing with Nancy seemed pointless and her and Sarah being loose didn't really add anything to the story

This is sweet, and witty; the characters are convincing and the sex is fulfilling, mutually enlightening and satisfying. Errm, I like it. Never mind about the proofing, the quality shines through,We have a real writer here.

excellent story, i can usually read right over minor type-o's, so i don't let them worry me, and you did mix up the name a couple times, but it wasn't anything i couldn't read right over... an editor may help... but i'm not complaining...

6 stars & a favorite please keep writing i look forward to more...

ty

Rick

Does the word excursions have any specific sexual meaning? Why is there a main title then you have two different excursions? Does having two mean it's better than one?

Started reading but so many chapters of a guy crying cause he masturbated is boring. You never even included who she was that he was thinking about.

Boring.

... for me it was a bit too 'slambamthankyoumaam'. The character mix up made me reread a couple of times as I thought that I must have missed something.

Good story , main body was compelling but lack something. I do hope there is a follow up though.

Great entry for National Nude Day.

enjoyed every part.

...there certain were positive and deeply erotic elements and the rapid transformation of Carolyn fits the idea of 'becoming' comfortable with one's nudity - it was all a "private" affair. A handyman at the cabin deciding to share ONLY the nudity might have broadened the social dynamics, or parents returning home to find siblings asleep on the sofa, nude, with the TV glowing in the background could have also. Nour complaints, only minor thoughts on where the social nudity *might have* gone. Definitely write more! Other characters, other scenarios. The first nudist tourists exploring a city like New York and visiting the observation deck of the Empire State building or going up the new Freedom tower to visit a relative who also happens to be the nude CEO of America's first fully nudist-friendly corporate business. There is more to being nude than having sex, sex and more sex! We still enjoy life in so many other, routine ways. July, 2019.

Firstly, IMO two stories big mistake. Secondly, the spelling errors and grammatical errors are many and not just typos. Next is the confusion with who Arnold is actually fucking in the second story is just appalling. Finally, this was all about him getting his rocks off without a care for the girls and I found it too repetitive. If you had concentrated on 'The Cabin' and cut the crap about feeling bad over a break up yet masturbating over your ex as it was tiresome and went on too long. The cabin had the makings of an excellent story and could have included some other naked adventures in the course of the story add a cliff hanger ending perhaps like a visit from parents catching everyone in a compromising position and how they react. You really need to edit a story before submitting and that is not using spell checker it is reading what you have written or getting somebody else to read and correct it for you.

I had almost dropped reading further because of tbe awkward opening which wasn't very tantalizing and difficult to emotionally understand. However there was something about the quality of the writing that made me continue. Now at the end of the story I'm still somewhat intrigued by the unusual way of telling the story, but do also feel that the style conveys a certain distance and detachment that isn't all too good for an erotic story where one presumably wants the reader to get emotionally sucked up. How do you expect readers to get there if the protagonist stays too 'cool'?

The emotional aspects of the introduction to Carolyn was interesting and carried potential for a complex and intriguing story which it also started out as. But then you apparently came into a hurry, and the story thereafter quickly degenerated to a simplistic fuck-buddies kind of story with an emotionally half-cooked sibcest and a haphazard cuckold aspect thrown in. Too much going on at the same time, so you were gaping too high to pull it all off in an emotionally understandable and credible way within the (already quite high) number of pages devoted to this story.

Really nice try -- keep on writing!

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. Unlike other comments, I liked the point of view of the narrative, and I did find the two stories went together. I always try to see if I can put myself in the story. I could. I loved it. Thanks so much for your entry, and I look forward to future installments.

This one was weird, not gonna lie. I got through three pages which means you compelled me so congratulations on that. As another anonymous reader said however, the grammar and spelling errors were a very distracting component. I felt like I was reading the thoughts of an anime character named Saiki K. Now that’s not exactly a bad thing as he’s hilarious in his over critical thinking but I didn’t like how much you broke the fourth wall and how little you stuck to the script you were trying to write. I’m also not a fan of how ridiculously bland the dialogue between Arnold and each girl was. Aside from the one or two paragraphs where you focus on the conflict Carolyn goes through in the first leap of faith into taking her clothes off to swim nothing else really meshed well in my opinion. I’m no expert or author for that matter I’m just a guy who reads here and cums to a good story like the rest of us but an editor’s proofreading would’ve been greatly appreciated. Best of luck in your future stories. Maybe I’ll come back for pages 4-6 some other time.