Natalie's Dilemma

We got into my bed and stayed like that for the longest time, not wanting to let go. When my hands touched her breasts, she pushed them away.

"No! Not today! I told you I'm still mad."

The girl was downright huffy, and I deserved every bit. But her face softened again, and it lightened my heart.

"You can do without today and maybe tomorrow..."

"But Evie." I whined.

"No and I mean NO!"

Still ensconced in her sweet embrace, I had to settle for cuddles and light kisses. Later, after I napped, she came back with a mug of tea.

"Nattie, will yer folks mind if I used the shower? I feel yucky from the hospital."

"No, go ahead..."

When Evelyn returned, she was standing in front of my full-length mirror, stark naked. She bent to slip on panties she borrowed from me, and her breasts looked magnificent, simply mouthwatering and she caught me staring.

"You can look all you want but...no touching." She aggressively wagged her index finger at me.

True to her word, Evelyn kept me at bay until the end of the second day. Then, she only let me watch her masturbate. I honestly don't think she knew how incredibly sexy she looked pleasuring herself. The other dilemma I had prior to sophomore year was one Jamie Harmon. At the end of freshman year, we had sent in the proper forms to Student Housing requesting to be roommates during sophomore year. I showed the approval to Evelyn.

"What am I gonna do?"

I was perplexed because I desperately wanted Evelyn to be my roommate.

"You have to write to her and explain...well, everything!"

So much had happened in a short period of time. When freshman year ended, Evelyn was on my shit list and Jamie wanted to kick her ass.

"Will you help me, Evie?" I asked shyly.

Evelyn was an excellent writer and wanted to be an English Teacher.

"I will but you have to be totally honest with her."

Now, I know what some of you younger readers are thinking; just call her. In the mid-seventies there was a land line, one telephone, sometimes two, in the house and nothing else. It was expensive to call "long distance" and it could easily top thirty or forty dollars, depending on how many minutes one talked; a lot of money back then. My folks would have blown a gasket. On campus there were pay phones and unless a person made a call early in the morning or late at night, there was always a long wait. Each floor in the dorm had a telephone but strictly for incoming or emergencies. We were sitting in Evelyn's kitchen composing the letter when her mother walked in. After the customary greetings, my beautiful lover told her mom my dilemma.

"Hmm...I wonder if Gloria Bates still works in administration. We went to college together, sorority sisters, oh sorry Evelyn..."

"Don't sweat it mom."

Evelyn gave her parent a reassuring hug.

"I'll make few phone calls tomorrow..."

Evelyn's relationship with her mother always impressed me. She fearlessly discussed everything with her, and I envied that openness they had with each other. I put pencil to paper and started writing. Evelyn suggested I write down what I wanted to say, and she would edit or elaborate. Basically, I told Jamie how Evelyn had entered my life and that I was in love with her. A little excerpt,

"...as crazy as it seems, I'm very much in love with Evelyn Reithofer and want to share my dorm room with her. Please try to understand, my angel, I wasn't looking for it, she had a traumatic experience pledging a sorority and we bonded from the shared ordeal. I've never met a sorrier person, trying to cope with the shame and guilt she felt because of what she did to me. I forgave her, I had too. When she poured her heart out to me, it was honest, genuine, and so sincere. I won't go into detail about her terrible pledge ordeal, that is for her to tell. It's my sincere hope that we can remain friends. Try not to judge Evelyn too harshly. When you meet her, I think you'll agree that she is a sweet person who cares deeply for me. She wants to meet you as well and thank you for taking care of me."

Evelyn looked carefully at what I'd written, making a few notations in the margins.

"Gosh, Evie. I feel like a...I don't know how to describe it."

"My mother always said, honesty is the best policy."

"Yeah, but I wish there was a way I could spare her feelings.

"Nattie, we didn't plan for this to happen, but it did. I'll apologize to Jamie but I'm in love with you and I can't change the way I feel."

The next morning, I mailed the letter.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed." I said as Evelyn drove us to work.

"If she's as good a friend as you say, then she has good heart and will understand."

A week later, I was getting ready for bed when my mother yelled up the stairs that I had a telephone call. Who the hell could that be? I thought.

"Hello," I answered tentatively.

"Hey, Natalie. It's me, Jamie."

"Jamie, my angel." I sighed.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Am I still yer angel?" She asked.

I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"You'll always be my angel..."

"I got yer letter and I guess I'm surprised. Ya hated Evelyn and now you and she are lovers?"

"I know it seems impossible, but it happened just as I said in my letter. I'm very much in love with her Jamie."

"I understand..."

I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Please don't cry, I'm very fond of you but..."

I couldn't finish because tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"I want us to be friends always and I want you to meet Evelyn. She's completely changed and is the sweetest person I know. You'll like her and you'll know I'm in good hands..."

I explained about my incident with Evelyn.

"I'm sorry Jamie, I feel as though I let you down."

"No Natalie. You didn't let me down...I can't fight something as powerful as love. I'll contact housing and request a switch."

"Er...ah...Evelyn's mom knew someone in Administration, and they already made the switch."

"Well, I guess...that's that as they say...see ya at school."

"Jamie, I love you as a friend. I always will..."

"I know Natalie...I know."

With that, she hung up and I felt terrible. It was too late to call Evelyn but the next morning when she picked me up, I was somber.

"Hey, why so down in the mouth?"

"Jamie called me last night. It was late or I would have..."

As sad as I felt, I didn't cry. Evelyn reached over and took my hand. Nothing needed to be verbalized. We were young and in love, nothing could stand in the way of our very deep feelings for one another. During lunch break, I was more myself and Evelyn, bless her heart, knew to let me work through the emotions I was feeling. With no one around, she took my hand and held it tenderly, reassuring me that she loved me. By the time, our shifts were over the mood was lighthearted. Evelyn wanted to eat downtown, and we stopped at Carroll's Cafeteria. It was a Monday, and the place was practically deserted. All day I'd been thinking about Jamie and Evelyn, and it was crystal clear where my path lay and with whom. When she stopped in front of my house, I turned and looked at her with emotion surging through my heart.

"Evie, you're my one and only, there can be no other. Unless one of us dies or decides to leave there will always just be the two of us. There is no room in my heart for anyone else, you fill it every day and in every way."

I leaned in for a kiss and it was soft, sensual, and filled with love. Evelyn looked at me with tears rimming her eyes. She hadn't said a word, nor did she need to. It was obvious she felt the same way.

"Love you." I said as I got out.

"Love you too," she replied, a broad smile gracing her lovely face.

I'm not sure why, but that image stayed with me for many years to come. She was young, beautiful, and filled with the promise of life, a life with me. Nothing gave me greater joy.

EVELYN: That first summer turned into the most idyllic time of my life. My mother allowed us full use of the VW van and almost every weekend we were at Miller's Pond. By August, I was deeply in love and lust with my dark-haired beauty. With only a couple of weeks before we needed to be back at university, we shopped for items we'd need and some knick-knacks to decorate our dorm room. We were giddy with excitement. A week before departure, we were at Miller's Pond, walking hand in hand down the path to skinny dip. In the cool water we cavorted and played like two kids. Natalie was laying on our favorite rock which was really a boulder. I was giving her raspberries on her belly, and she was shrieking with delight. As I gazed at her my heart pounded like a bass drum with intense emotion. We lay back against the cool stone, holding hands as the sultry night air surrounded us.

"Penny for yer thoughts?" she asked.

"I can't help thinking how lucky I am..."

"Yeah, me too Evie." She sighed.

As the sun set the mosquitos made their presence known and we hot footed it back to the van. We drank some wine and gazed into each other's eyes. Natalie's love for me was there, it was like a beacon. I curled up next to her and she kissed me, passion filled and with emotion.

"I'm gonna miss this place." She spoke solemnly.

It was probably the first time we didn't indulge in any sexual activity. We talked about the upcoming school year, and we were content to just hold each other, kiss, and cuddle. It meant so much to me. When we drove away from Miller's Pond for the last time, at least until next year, a tear escaped my eye. I looked and Natalie was in a similar predicament. The next two days were a flurry of excitement as we packed for the trip back to Penn State. My mother was driving us because we simply had too much for either the bus or plane ride. Life at Penn State took on an entirely new dimension. Thanks to Jamie, I now shared a room with the girl I loved. We slept in the little single bed, holding each other. The day we moved in; I saw Jamie. I waved and smiled and so did she. Later, she stopped by our room, and I left so she could talk privately with Natalie. When I returned, Jamie was still there but before I could excuse myself again, she asked me to stay. I felt really shy around her and she picked up on it. Natalie went to Atomic to get some pizza and Jamie looked me square in the eye.

"You've changed Evelyn, quite a lot..."

"Did Natalie tell you about my experience at the sorority?"

"A little, she said I should ask you, but I take it that it was pretty bad."

Just thinking about it and the tears welled in my eyes. Jamie's demeanor had been a bit hard edged but when she saw my eyes...

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry, if it's too painful..."

Her whole attitude softened, and I told her the abridged version, but the tears flowed and by the time I finished, I was a mess. Unexpectedly, Jamie took me in her arms and held me with tenderness.

"It's ok...don't cry...I know it was awful for you."

Just then, Natalie walks in with the pizza.

"Jamie, did you upset Evelyn?"

"No...I..."

"Evelyn, are you ok?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, yes...Nattie...I was just telling her about the sorority. She did nothing wrong."

"Ok..." Natalie was eyeing us both suspiciously. The pizza and Coke a Cola helped to lighten the mood and the carbonation led to a burp fest. Jamie could burp like a guy but to my surprise Evelyn held her own.

"Jesus, you guys, don't upchuck!"

We were all laughing, and it created an atmosphere of camaraderie.

"Hey, gotta fly guys but we gotta do this again sometime."

"You're always welcome here." I told her.

Jamie's eyes misted over.

"Thanks, that means a lot to me."

When she left, she not only gave Natalie a hug but me too. Even with the frenetic nature of college life, Natalie's desire for me was unabated. My boobs got lots of attention from my lover. Natalie had a serious breast fetish. One night we were studying side by side on her bed when I felt a hand softly caress my tit, the tip of her finger rubbing the nipple.

"No Nattie, stop this instant. I have a test tomorrow."

"Just a little bit, please?"

"No, because it's never just a little bit."

I wasn't angry, but I was telling the truth, I had an 8am exam."

"Just five minutes per nipple, time me.

"Oh, all right..."

I pulled up my shirt and the nub stood at attention.

"Wow, what a beautiful sight!"

Holding her head, she engulfed my teat, sucking hungrily. Her skillful tongue had my nipple throbbing in no time and my pussy creaming. Of course, Natalie went over the allotted time.

"Nattie, if you keep this up, I won't have any clean underwear left."

Gently I pulled her mouth off my pulsating nip.

"That's enough...I have to study."

The look of disappointment on her face was priceless.

"We're both in the Education Program and we need excellent grades if we have any hope of finding a teaching position."

"Oh...ok." She said like a misbehaving child. Natalie was mumbling something incoherent under her breath.

"And no sulking! Is that clear?"

"Yes..."

Her entire body language made it obvious she was unhappy with me.

"What am I going to do with you, Natalie? You've turned into the bratty little sister."

While neither of us had a female sibling, that's what it felt like. Further, I never addressed her by her full first name unless I was annoyed with her.

"All right, you made yer point..."

I went back to studying but out of the corner of my eye, I could see tears on her cheeks.

"Are you crying?"

"No!" she said very angrily and turned away from me.

I stood up and went to embrace her, but she shook my arms away.

"Ok, well, no sex for you this weekend. I'll be just fine masturbating if I must."

Natalie turned and fell into my arms.

"There, now that's better. I won't have to punish you."

"I'm sorry Evie...I'm sorry, it's just that I love you so much."

"I know you do, and I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. But there is a time and a place for everything. Come, let me hold you while I study. Would you like that?" Natalie nodded. Even with her in my arms, I was able to concentrate. I'd give little pecks and squeezes that seemed to satisfy her. At one point, I heard her lightly snoring and laid her on the bed. I gazed at her, my heart bursting with intense feeling. It still felt so surreal to me, and it was the unlikeliest of romances, of love stories. All through school, I was the type who had to study to get good grades while most things came easy to Natalie. We were in the same sophomore English class, I worked hard while she breezed through. The next morning, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's 6:45, time to get up."

I'd passed out around midnight and was groggy. Natalie handed me a mug of coffee. We had a hot pot, instant coffee, and creamer (this was way before Keurig).

"Thanks, I really need this."

Natalie kissed my cheek.

"Go get em girl! You're gonna ace that test!"

When I got my test paper back, I had a ninety-two, A minus. A good score but it irked me because I was driven to do my best. However, when I looked at my life, I felt incredibly lucky to have a robust sex life. My beautiful girlfriend loved me, adored my body, especially my breasts. Natalie couldn't keep her hands or mouth off them for very long. Natalie returned from Biology class and plopped in her desk chair.

"I'm too pooped to pop!"

"Hey, I'm gonna take a shower, then maybe pizza for dinner?

"Girl, I'm too tired to chew but pizza sounds good to me."

When I returned, Natalie hadn't moved, and her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping. I opened my dresser to retrieve a pair of underwear and threw my towel on my chair. Stark naked I bent to slip on my panties, and I swear I could feel her eyes burning holes in my skin. My back was facing her.

"Nattie, I know yer staring at my butt."

"It's a beautiful butt too."

"Does my body really turn you on that much?"

"My god, Evie. You could be in Playboy or Penthouse. But to answer your question, yes it does."

I walked over to Natalie and my nipples were stiff from the cool air in the room. With my hands on her shoulders, my breasts hung down and her eyes were alive with lust. Her hands cupped them, thumbs grazing the nipples, sending little jolts into my groin.

"They're so beautiful..."

"Umm, feels good..."

I shimmied my very stiff nubs across her lips, but she wouldn't open her mouth.

"Hmm...stubborn? I know you want to suck..."

That's all I had to say. Thank God my hands were on her shoulders for support because Natalie suckled like a hungry infant. With her free hand she rolled and pinched my other nipple. She nursed for a long time, my vagina dripping into my panties.

"Looks like I'll be doing laundry again...my pussy is creaming." I groaned.

Thank God my mother sent me a care package with a dozen pairs from my favorite lingerie shop in town. Natalie's hand was inside my panties, cupping and stroking my very wet sex.

"Oh yes...it feels soo good.

A finger then two invaded my hole and it was off to the races.

"Oh, sweet Jesus...yer gonna make me cum..." I moaned lustily.

Natalie stopped sucking for a second.

"That's the plan..."

"Oh...oh...oh...oh yes!" I cried to the ceiling, as an orgasm burst in my loins.

She licked my juices from her fingers.

"Evie, if there was a way to bottle this, we'd make a fortune."

My face grew hot, and I was keenly aware that I was blushing.

"Nattie, the things you say..."

While university life can be hectic, having someone to share it with, makes all the difference. Natalie was my companion, my lover, and my confidante. The year seemed to fly by. One minute we're choosing our courses for the term and the next we're waiting for my mother to pick us up for the journey home. We made some friends our sophomore year and it was gratifying to find people who liked us for us, not our sexual orientation. It was fun to hang out and commiserate about life on campus and our families. That was the year I experienced what university life was truly like. It was eye opening, and it filled me with a sense of wonder. On the journey home to Nebraska, we chattered like two magpies.

"Girls, you have to give my poor ears a break."

"Sorry mom..."

"I can tell you both had a great year."

"Yeah, we did." Natalie said in a dreamy voice.

"I so happy for you girls. You both deserved it!"

"Thanks Mrs. R."

"Yeah, thanks mom."

"It's the least I can do for my two best girls..."

"You think of me as one of yer best girls, Mrs. R?"

"Yes, like a daughter, Natalie. I have a feeling you and Evelyn will be together long after University."

I saw Natalie's eyes tear up. At a rest stop, Natalie ran bow legged to the lady's room, and it gave me a minute to ask my mother a question.

"Mom? Did you really mean what you said about Natalie being like a daughter to you?"

"Evelyn, you know me by now, I meant every word."

"Gosh, mom. What a lovely sentiment."

"Sweetheart, she has a beautiful heart. Not many people would have been so understanding, so forgiving but she was and saw the person you truly are. It was always there Evelyn, unfortunately it took a very sad chapter in your life for it make an appearance."

Once again, my mother left me dumbfounded with her wisdom.

"I see the love you have for each other. She adores you and likewise, you her. It gives me such a good feeling to know that you're loved and will have someone to share your life with. You must admit, Natalie is a very special person. She has so much joy inside her and, I can sense that she has feelings for me, to what extent, I'm not sure but I do feel it."

"You never cease to amaze me mom."

"I hope I always will, but life has taught me a lot..."

There was a long pause.

"Not a day goes by that I don't think about your brother Stephen. When he was killed in Vietnam, it was unquestionably the worst day of my life. No child should precede his parents in death..."