- Incest/Taboo
- Natural Twenty
- Comments
All Comments on 'Natural Twenty'
by shakna
- 26 Comments
trite_readerover 2 years agoIt just occurred to me that the simpler you leave the story, the more impact it has. For the type of story you were going for here, this was a masterpiece. Short, to the point, built strong excitement, with minimal prose.
I know I've mentioned to you in the past that I like the romance stuff, but sometimes, you really just feel like a burger, instead of a filet mignon ... There is not a single word or phrase of this tale that I would change.
Really cool story man. Keep up the awesome work.
Anonymousover 2 years agoThank goodness you're off the furry stuff again and onto something I never expected, or read anything like before. Well done, epic.
Anonymousover 2 years agoWhat is the age difference between them that he just started university and she is moving out at the same time
Anonymousover 2 years agoAnybody who complains about this doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Your intro, pacing, detail, and overall concept are among the best I’ve seen.
5*
Tc
shaknaover 2 years agoAuthor@anon - Not quite "off the furry stuff". Everyday Life with Bubbles got two chapters at the same time as this :p But yeah, I'm still working on incest things. They just take a little bit longer to put together.
RomanceLivesover 2 years agoWhat an exciting story. The pacing was just right, escalating the action quickly without feeling rushed. I like that no toys were used, apart from the simple restraint. Just two people and their head games.
Tell me to stop ... I dare you ;)
*****
mharrisonover 2 years agoNot my favourite of your stories i have to say - still well written etc just prefer your other works...
ScottishTexanover 2 years agoIt seems like a lifetime ago that I played Advanced Dungeons & Dragons every weekend with a rather dedicated group of people. One of the players had figured out that with this one particular die he owned, that if he held it in his palm with the '3' on top, he could roll it about 4 inches and get a nat 20 consistently 5 or 6 out of every 10 casts. It was fun to watch him play. I miss those days.
Hargaover 2 years agoThis story brings back fond memories of my teenage years playing the original D & D in 1976. Me, two of my best friends and two girls (yea girl gamers) that lived next door, playing in the back of my uncles old van that was stored in our garage. It was always kept a secret because are parents would not have approved of us playing the devils game and a few of the other things we got up to (Show & Tell, Truth or Dare). Two things I still have from those days are a red and black D20 named "Blood" and "Death". Fun memories.
.
Cheers
Radomir1over 2 years agoA very hot story.
But I somehow lost the plot.
The beginning: a brother runs away, to a university in another city, from a sister who tries to seduce him.
Then, without transition, a meeting at his sister's house and sex.
What happened in between these events?
How much time had passed?
Demosthenes384bcover 2 years agoEnjoyed the mind play but there wasn't quite enough lead in for me to get fully immersed in what was happening until well into the story. Likewise, on the back end (no pun intended), I'mnot sure where you left us...4*
Mfkndragonabout 2 years agoSorry had to pass on reading I read the disclosure and saw it said the realism to it was died way down and non consensual sex which is rape in every way is not something I wanna read about it I can't even believe that the site administrator's even posted it
Mfkndragonabout 2 years ago1 more thing you also said most of your stories were about cherishing and romance however most of your written and posted stories is non human with a group sex,Sci fy and fantasy and reviews&essay mix none of those are cherishing nor romantic can't even be mistaken for it sure you have some incest taboo which could have cherishing and romance but way more non human then incest taboo
Anonymousabout 2 years agoLost me at the anal stuff. Just too gay for him to be into a gender-neutral asshole. Apart from that though, way better than your usual furry fodder.
IJS0904almost 2 years agoVery well done. I loved the dynamic between brother and sister. She was obviously in love with him and he was oblivious until he finally lost it. Thanks for sharing.
shakna@shakna
