Nature or Nurture Ch. 43-44

I had never seen him that way, vulnerable, human, Vincent, he had never been a human to me. And when he offered to get me drunk, help me forget, I was tempted, though I'd never fed on someone and not killed him.

Against all odds, we had a wonderful night. Not even a week later the master ordered me to set him up to be killed. I was devastated, I had seen his humanity, he had become a person to me, and now I had to kill him. I couldn't refuse, I was programmed to obey, but it broke my heart. Not because I loved him, but because I now knew that the raging beast was as sad and lonely as I was.

My attraction to you cannot be compared to the pity I felt for him that night, I love and admire you, you saved me from the Master, you are well-read, a superb actor, a devoted lover, a man with higher feelings. I never went for the swarthy look either.'

That sounds true to Vincent, she did not feel attracted to Heathcliff, it was the booze and the feeding that led to loving.

'And your attraction to me is certainly not that old, I'd swear you first felt it when I saved your life and you saved mine, a natural situation to create a bond, especially with blood being exchanged. I still feel yours throughout my body, I can't help feeling love for you when you are everywhere in me.

It's something I need to contemplate, for how can I be sure I love Victor? It may be his blood inside me that makes me feel love for him. Am I capable of love at all?'

That is an easy one, and Vincent replies with conviction.

'Yes, you are.'

'How can you be sure, Vincent, what if it's all connected to blood and food?'

He smiles ingratiatingly and assures her, 'It's not, Mina, you love Catherine, don't you? And Adison?'

'I do, I certainly do, both of them. And I loved Victor even when he couldn't feed me, when you were singing in my veins day and night.'

Mina looks relieved, but Vincent is not going to let her off the hook, making up weird proverbs.

'If you heard me singing even one song, let alone a day and a night, you would not love me now. You'd still be running.'

That breaks the tension, for Mina is truly afraid of not being able to love unconditionally.

'Mina, I can accept the thought that blood and food make you feel lust for someone, and I agree that it is probably where your wish to make love to me sprung from. But that is just natural, it's what you are, you feed off lust, your feeding causes lust.

And maybe that is something you and Victor can explore together, separate love from feeding, using a glass of wine to loosen Victor up instead of a juicy bite. Or don't, accept that your feeding is the sexiest thing that can happen to a man, that is who you are, and it makes a person feel passion who might not otherwise. Heaven knows we had the most difficult time to lure Victor into our bed once a fortnight or even once a month.'

Of course Mina is not insensitive to Vincent's compliments, Victor makes love to her daily, with ardour.

'The point is, Mina, that is just sex. It's love that is important, and you have proven that you can love without food being involved.

Though I'd like you to consider taking a few drops of Catherine's, not to make you love her, for you already do, but to enable you to find her wherever she is.'

'I think it is a great idea, if she agrees. You ask her. Just a tiny bit, though, I don't want her singing through my veins, that would be weird.'

Apparently it really feels like that, oh well, everyone is allowed some peculiarities in their use of the English language. But the most important question still lies between them.

'Why didn't you tell me, Mina?'

Of course she knows what he means, instantly.

'I guess I tried to forget, it felt so much like betrayal, get him to trust me then have him murdered. When we first met, as we are now I mean, I didn't think immediately: I slept with that body. You are not the same man, you are someone I liked a lot better from the first. It was a painful memory and I wanted to let it go. Heathcliff's blood was just blood, by the way.'

The memory is still painful to her, and Mina no longer needs booze to let that grief out. Vincent's heart goes out to her, she has so many of those memories, it is a miracle she can live a reasonably normal life.

Then a thought strikes him, he has seen Mina before in a flashback, the very moment Heathcliff was killed, actually. Why didn't he remember their night together at that instant? Had it been just a moment of weakness for Heathcliff? Or had he been so boozed up he didn't even remember? Why remember it in a flashback then?

All these thoughts send his head spinning, but he is not going to let himself be driven mad by flashbacks and memories. Life is now, not in the past, this doesn't change anything for either him or Mina.

'Want to have a go at me with a blade?' he asks Mina.

Her face lights up, sparring with Vincent is great fun, he is such a great teacher, always keeping her on her toes. As Mina dresses for practise, Vincent fetches his daughter from the library, she will want to watch, and they meet in the basement, where Mina and Vincent can work off their memories, and Mina gives Catherine a lesson in self defence with a knife or anything else that can be used to save yourself.

Her life on the edge of society has taught her how to stand up for herself, and she adapts her own style to Catherine's tiny body, she'll have to rely on stealth and subtlety rather than brute force and throat-ripping canines.

Vincent is not planning to discuss his idea to further protect Catherine by letting her donate some blood to Mina with anyone else but Catherine herself, and Mina of course, if Catherine decides to do it they will not keep it a secret, but this is between Mina and Catherine.

When they are all tired from their workout, Vincent poses his plan to Catherine, who replies, 'I should have thought of that myself!'

'You're two years old, Catherine, why should you? I'm your father, I'm supposed to protect you,' Vincent says, a bit thrown back by Catherine's high standard for herself.

'True, and the very best,' the little girl replies, embracing him and kissing him, 'I feel very safe with you. But a gun can take you out, so I'd still like to give Mina some of my blood, for emergencies. Will you do it now?'

'If you can stand the sight of this,' Mina says, showing her razor sharp fangs to the little girl, who is not scared at all.

'You look really scary like that, Mina, but I already saw them, remember? Dripping with the little witch's blood.

Will you bite me or just punch my skin? I'm a bit afraid to fall in love with you, I'm just two, you see, and I already have a crush on a man. Sort of.'

Smiling indulgently, Mina replies, 'I'll just let it well up and lick it up, no sucking. That should make it perfectly safe for both of us.'

'All right, I'm ready if you are.'

Catherine hands over her arm. Mina doesn't hesitate and slowly, carefully sinks her canines into the soft flesh, watching Catherine to see if it is too much for her. But it isn't, the girl is watching with interest, as blood starts to spill from the two punctures and Mina licks it up. There is no heat, just a distinct feeling of love between the two of them.

Very soon, the blood stops flowing, and Mina licks the marks clean.

'You have very nice blood, very sweet. I can feel you now, I hope it will last past a few days, but somehow I think so. Are you feeling all right?'

The girl nods.

'Thank you Mina, you're very good to me,' and they hug warmly, now connected by more than just friendship.

Then Vincent observes severely, 'As your father I feel I have a right to know who the man is, sort of, that you have a crush on, Catherine. I need to test him to see if he is good enough for you.'

Her reply is deadly serious.

'I'm only two, dad. He's good enough to play with and talk with, that's all I want to do with him. If I tell you who he is, will you be nice to him?'

Tempted to tease his tiny daughter a little further, Vincent relents.

'All right, tell me who he is, and I'll be very nice to him.'

'It's the guy from the boiler, the small one, Lukas.'

'You're in luck then, he's coming over tomorrow with his friends, we've agreed to exchange lessons, fencing for them, and magic for us. But you have good taste, I like him. He is a bit old for you, though.'

Catherine still doesn't seem to realize she's being made fun of, she must really like this guy to be so serious.

'He cannot be much more than twenty years old, dad. Any younger and he wouldn't have anything sensible to say, now would he?'

'You are supposed to be a toddler, Catherine, who would ever say something sensible to you?'

With hope, she states, 'He did, he talked to me like an adult, like you did before you knew. That is why I like him so much.'

'Well, I guess you can talk a little more than a toddler would, you don't have to spill your little secret, just say enough to keep things interesting.'

'Victor said that if he tells me what he really is, I can tell him my secret.'

Vincent nods.

'If he tells you, you can tell him. I don't think there is any danger in them knowing, but better hold back a little until you are certain he deserves your trust.'

That is agreeable to Catherine, and she is clearly excited that she will meet Lukas again.

Vincent finds that partly disturbing, she's only two after all, and partly very touching. Let's just hope the guy is worthy of her expectations, but somehow he has gotten a good impression of the lad, he is quiet, but whenever he says something, it makes sense, and he seems really sweet-natured.