Nature's Hypocrisy

THE WARM

Warmth...that's all I have ever known in my life. Hands so warm that could soothe a sore and body so warm that could provide the safe haven for the restless souls but as nature has it; we always crave for something we don't have.

I craved for something cold. Something so cold that would...

By default born in a tropical region of the earth where the summer reached its peak flashing is glory and where the winter stayed bury under its defeat forever. The winter months sometimes hid behind rain, endless dreary rain or often carried the warmth of the sun with it.

I could never understand why the winter was so shy.

A warm embrace from a lover only managed to give rise to an irrepressible anxiety. The warmth oozing from their armpits and thighs only nauseated me more and more.

So to fill the void in my life I turned to literature. After all literature is for those who are hurt. And I was hurt. Deeply wounded by the nature, my parents and my body's abnormal warmth. It's a neurological disorder, said my mother when I asked her why my body is always like this. I found my solace in reading books with characters so stone cold that their every action ran a chill down my spine. Of course, their lover wrapped in their arms would describe them as "warm", I disagreed. I knew a person so cold could never ever be warm to touch. The hypocrisy of the nature can't be that bad.

Well, literature...that's where I met her. Again. In the bowels of the literature, the library.

It was December twenty second, temperature didn't dare drop below 10 degree Celsius but I had to return a book I burrowed from the library. The people on the street clad in winter clothes; muffler, scarf, sweater, jackets, hoodies...whatnot seemed happier with their flushed cheeks and smokey breaths. Upon my mother's repeated nagging on face-time, I wore a full sleeve t-shirt and a sweat pant before leaving the home.

The walk to the library was short and uneventful. I returned my book at the reception. While the lady processed my return I noticed that the library was usually vacant.

'Winter is keeping everyone home,' the lady at the register said.

I gave her my best acknowledging smile and asked if I could roam around for a bit.

'Sure, It's pretty warm in here. Isn't it?'

Another laugh later I was in the thriller section of the library.

It was amazing how cold the pages of these books got just by sitting on these shelves. Some might find it sorrowful but I felt envy. I wonder if I stored myself away for a long period of time, would I turn cold as well?

I picked a random book and chose to sit with it by the window. The window let sleepy breeze come my way as I started reading.

I could be reading something about a lawyer and his friend when I felt a chill run down my spine. The occurrence was so rare for my body that I visibly squirmed in my seat. Then I felt a presence beside me which changed position to stand before me.

I looked up and saw the woman standing with a book clutched to her chest.

A woman with whom I made acquaintance not less than a week ago.

'I didn't mean to intrude-' my recovery from the chill had me in a daze so I could not hear her completely. Though I nodded and she joined me on the table.

A woman seeking another woman's safety wasn't a big deal so with no rectification required, we both began reading.

She approached me in the college library one lunch break and asked me out. Upon stating my disinterest in a relationship at the moment, she simply smiled and said she would still like to hang around with me, in case we clicked.

This was a week ago.

We kept stumbling before each other in the hallway and cafeteria and most frequently in the college library where I sat researching for my thesis.

'Isn't the library so warm?' she said somewhere in between.

I nodded without looking up.

'Whatcha reading?'

I had to look up. Her expectant eyes had me flip the cover of my book and allow her the access to read it herself.

With the title still facing me she placed her hand on my book and turned it towards her to properly perceive it. Her haphazard actions could not have meant anything if her hands weren't so...cold. Another chill shot through my legs.

'Oh, I haven't read this one,' she declared and let go of the book.

'Are you very cold?' I said.

'Uh? Yes. I am always cold.' she replied with an apologetic smile.

"I am always very warm,' I returned.

'Oh,' she leaned in expecting something more from me.

'What are you doing here?'

'Um, I had a book to return. The lady at the register said there is another girl and...here I am,' She wore a thick sweater and had a thick scarf wrapped around her neck so I could only see her rosy nose and small mouth that formed her words.

'I am not stalking you, I swear. I just wanted to hang out,' She said placing a cold hand on top of mine.

Her hand felt so good. Like an ice pack on a fevered body. My heart started racing and in turn definitely raised my temperature even further.

'You are heating up,' she said and let go of my hand.

I said nothing.

'Will you be alright?' the worry from her sounded so warm.

'I am sorry,' I said and left the table. Within a blink of an eye I was out the library.

My body was heating up. My exhales became hot and I started palpitating. Needless to say, her touch not only intellectually bothered me; but now my imagination was also engaged.

'Excuse me....'

'Excuse---'

'Wait for me, please'

I felt her hand grab my wrist.

'Why did you---' she fought for her breath 'ran?'

She stared at me for a long while, till she caught her breathe and became able to form words.

'Come.' she started leading me somewhere.

Her grip on my wrist only felt firm with determination and unknown intention.

'You are sweating in this weather. We must go the doctor,' I stopped in my tracks.

'What?'

She heaved an irrepressible sigh and looked as if I offended her.

'You don't feel cold. Do you?'

'Wrong.'

'Uh?'

'I do feel cold.'

She clicked her tongue more than twice before rephrasing herself.

'You are always hot. Aren't you?'

I said nothing. I mean what was there to say.

'Come' she again proceeded to drag me.

'Taking me to an emergency room would be a waste of time.' I said and remained on my feet.

'I am taking you somewhere else,'

'But...'

'Will you please just follow me?' her exasperated expression bothered me gravely. I was annoying her that much I could tell.

'I should not follow you,'

Stopping dead in her motion, with one hand she lifted her sweater and with other she took my hand and placed it on her bare stomach.

She was cold. Her body underneath all these layer still maintained her temperature. It was unlike anyone I had touched before.

'Am I not cold enough?'

She let go of my hand. Her tiny face dropped but she was adamant to get through me. But why?

'Why?'

'I don't know.' she took her time. 'I don't know why but I know...I want you,'

For a minute I was convinced I was hallucinating.

'I like-'

'I'll go out with you,' I said and she flushed even more.

'Hm?'

Her place wasn't that close to mine. I realized walking out in this weather for her would have been difficult. She could not have chosen any more unlikely day for her shenanigan.

'You must be very cold,' I said.

'Yes, but we are almost there,'

There was no point in resisting. All excuses apart...her body-

'We are here,'

She fidgeted with her keys.

'Uh? Why am I so cold?' her small face expressed bother really well. I could not hold my smile.

'Give me that,'

She handed me her key and we both entered her abode. She started taking off her scarf and took her keys from me to drop them in a bowl on what seemed like a coffee table.

A studio apartment blinding white in color with a centre bed and a study desk to the left by a humble window and the coffee table situation to the right by the entrance door.

'Would you like something to drink?' she asked kneeling beside her study desk before a small fridge at the corner.

'Water would do,'

'Are you nervous?'

'No, I don't want to be rude,'

'Tell me. Do you really not like me?' she pulled out a cold water bottle from the fridge.

'I do,'

She laughed throwing back her head. What could be so funny about this situation? If anything it was weird-

Her pale neck caught my attention. Veins running up and down, vanishing behind her ear and trailing down into her sweater-

'I know you want to touch me,'

'Don't impose your thoughts on me now,' I tried laughing.

She plopped herself on her bed and patted the space next to her.

'Come on...I know you want to touch my cold skin,'

'If that's how you want to play,' I sat next to her and she offered me the cold bottle of water with a coy smile.

I drank from the bottle and felt her burning gaze never leaving me.

'I feel terrible with you here,' she said suddenly, 'Why are you so cold to me?'

'I have told you I am not looking for a relationship. Haven't I?' I inquired. 'What is it that you really want?'

She stood up and started taking off her clothes. Painstakingly slow, article after article were taken off until she was naked in front me. She shivered as the wind grazed her body. It was unbearable to see a woman like this, smothering her own beauty with such a shameless display of lust.

Her pale skin blended with her already stark white room giving her a radiant aura blinding my thoughts.

'Will you not hold me?'

THE COLD

Cold...her cold gaze looked deep into my eyes, with disdain and pity. My heart ached to be embraced by her, to be wrapped in a warm blanket of...lust. That's what her eyes signified.

To my surprise, she started taking off her clothes, leaving behind only her bra and panties. She approached me bed and loosed the duvet that I had tucked into my mattress. Then as stealth as a snake, she slipped inside the cover and waited for me.

I joined her on the bed and suddenly the weight of her warmth enveloped all of my senses. The cover over me never felt this comfortable before. I scooted closer and she turned onto her left to face me. I buried my face in the hollow of her chest and she wrapped her arms and legs around me. Her warm hands sat heavy on my back and waist and her legs possessively locked my hips in place.

'Is this what you wanted?' she whispered into my hair.

Who isn't greedy enough to want more than this?

I pressed myself as close to her as possible, every inch of me begged to be in touch with her. The chills my body felt not to long ago were replaced with a hollow feeling in the tummy and butterflies flutters in that space.

'Do you like this?' she asked running her hand on my waist.

Our chest brushed and I felt the fabric of her bra brush against my nipples. I took a sharp breathe in and felt her pinching the curls of my waist. Reflexively, I moved my upper body away from the pain and she found her way to my neck.

Her warm mouth kissed my throat and I snaked my arms around her head. She strayed and kissed my left jaw before returning back to my neck. She kissed my cold shoulder followed by some hungry smooches on my collar bone.

She pulled me close and held my face prying open my mouth at her disposal. She licked my lower lip before drawing it between her teeth. Her breath kept fanning my face periodically and the warmth from her fingertips reached my skin before she her actual touch.

What have I even done to earn this?

'Are you regretting this?' she whispered against my lips.

I shook my head, carefully, not to disturb the ambience between us.

'You are going to...now,'

The cover was thrown off my body, exposing me to the biting cold. She let her hand go stray, finally reaching my core. She cupped me there and yanked my legs open for her.

I wanted to shy away like a child, hide behind anything; a table, under the bed, at that time only a piece of fabric could have suffice my embarrassment.

Having me in her arms, she won't even allow me to close my eyes. My eyes held her gaze for the entire time she had me in her arms. The eyes looking down on me had so much coldness in them, as if she were staring at the death.

I wasn't careful. I was blind. How much do I know about her? What do I even know about her?

A shiver went through my spine when she kissed my ear.

Was this what I wanted? The anticipation of being with her. The fantasy that I role-played into had me disregard my self-preservation and getting deeper into the addiction of losing myself to the WARMTH of her body.

I held onto her hand as she rubbed my clit with her middle finger. Wash after wash of pleasure started flowing through my body.

The first time our hand brushed when we stumbled across the same book we wanted from the college library and without a second thought, she withdrew her hand and let me have the book. I wonder if I was the only one who felt the electrifying feeling when our hand touched. Maybe her mind was else where. Maybe she is content with how she is made. Or maybe...just maybe, on that day, she had felt me too.

'Yes, please. Right there,' I heard myself say.

She suckled on my neck while I crashed under a painful wave of orgasm.

She slid her arms from under me and turned me to lay straight on my back. My thighs felt cramped and my waist finally got its moment to relax.

'You really don't...'

I placed my hand on her mouth.

'No,' I could hardly swallow from all the huffing I went through.

She climbed between my legs and kissed my mouth. My parched tongue met with her soft slithery tongue. I might have been high, because I remember tasting water on her tongue. Gently, finishing the kiss, she slid past my collar bone and started nibbling on my nipples. She held them in her palms and sucked on them, before coming back up to kiss me.

THE WARM

Are you regretting this? I asked myself.

You are going to...' I said to myself.

Her body was not the cold I had expected. The temperature subsided as soon as I kissed her neck. She started warming up...then again. It could have been because me; my body. It's all me.

Whatever affection I felt for her turned into pity. Self-pity.

Are you going to regret this?

Yes. I will.

I am regretting.