All Comments on 'NCIS Basement'

bad news for some is good news for others. TK U MLJ LV NV

Well done. Although letting it go on for several weeks after discovery was a little long, at least it wasn't months.

5/5

Who is Francis? She just suddenly appeared...

Good story written in a short time frame. Hey all you anons: If you don't like this story try writing one. BTW Frances was the protagonist's mom.

I could not get the DNA reference.

Lorraine's point of view and back history would make an interesting story.

I loved the ethics jab

I liked the story, but if you were going to forgive the daughter, why not the wife? If it had been my daughter , I would have been inclined to say bullshit, and close the door. Let’s face it, she was part of the conspiracy.

Nice BTB. But he says his aging mother is named Frances. But most people would continue refering to as her “Mother” or “Mom”, not Frances. Also, 1or 2 shakey spellings.

Otherwise terrific work. Keep it up.

Because of the predictability, and Frances, I can only give it 4-stars.

with this tale-a good short BTB bit. Nicely done

Four stars for the title

Nice BTB short. Would probably make a good extended story.

That's how you treat a disgusting cheating wife and a disrespecting daughter. Way to go.

Five Stars

Full marks from me

Like a yoyo. Give it away and wait for Frances, his mother, to give it back or die. Why not, it has a chance of being legal.

Lorraine is bad sure. But Jessica was complicit! EVEN WORSE! Should have had her get an STD!

Pros:

-Short and sweet. Straight to the point.

-Our hero keeps it simple. Divorce with no further contact or explanation.

Cons:

-Fucking Jessica still needed to suffer.

-Lorraine ought to be roasted a tad bit more.

-Reconciliation at the end with Jessica left a bad taste in my mouth.

2.5/5.

he got revenge on her, by allowing the truth to shine.

she lost her rich fiance' craig. no more wedding or easy life.

that knowledge will be public too. "why'd he leave his almost wife at the altar?"

she now has to re-evaluate her life completely. and she didn't want to lose her father in how she approached him. clearly she didn't side with her mom once the truth was out for all to see.

Thanks for sharing.

How about getting the cunt whore wife's side? It would be great to hear her pain with an admission of stupidity.

Feels rushed and unfinished.

A part 2 follow through

Yeah we definitely need a part 2 . I absolutely loved it! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic Story with us! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Wifey will have plenty of time to think about better times as she works at the convenience store. Was glad to see the daughter reconcile and apologize. My guess is that she will eventually get her man back but it will take a long time. Very good story - crisp, concise, and well-paced.

Who is Frances?

Read the beginning over. I had to too!

Pretty typical BTB tale, when it comes down to it.

Love the fact his daughter ultimately didn't blame him for her trouble, unless his ex, who was, unsurprisingly, an irredeemable cunt.

As for the author's writing here... ouf. It got eventually better, but, if there's ever been a case for moreandmore to strongly think about getting an editor, the first paragraphs here are definitely exhibit A.

Still understood where he was getting at, though... so it's all good.

...would be a great name for a rock band. It strikes me as odd that anyone, having read this story, would comment asking "Who is Frances?" without first re-reading or searching the text for prior mention of Frances. Maybe it's just me. Or, maybe, it's just lazy. I'm a fairly thorough reader, but I know damn well I sometimes miss details and I know enough to look before I shoot off my mouth.

I enjoyed the story.

Frances is his 82 year old mother

Really a fun read.

Top ratings from me.

Hmmm. I’ve never seen “Hugh Mouse”. I’ve seen his cousin, Mickey, though!

Your sentences tend towards short and choppy. The story feels incomplete. You never explored the wife's reasons nor did you mention why Jessica involved herself willingly. Inquiring minds want to know.

I enjoyed the story. I like this author's writing style, direct without much embellishment.

On the issue of his assets however, converting them to gold coins is one thing. Giving them to his mother and claiming she's a charity is quite another. Both her divorce lawyer and the bankruptcy court would require documentation that the cash was donated to a recognized charitable cause. His mother wouldn't qualify.

She got what she deserved and I want to pat Roger on the back for dealing with this adultery by Lorraine and aiding and abetting by the daughter with a revenge that hurt them to the core. I'll say it again a good husband will find out sooner or later that his wife is cheating on him and she made the mistake for not cleaning up her cum soaked panty's before roger found them and shame on the daughter for hiding the truth about the cheating from him. She got what she deserved for covering up the mothers cheating at her own wedding. It was a heavy price to pay financially.

Your protagonist sounds like Sgt. Friday; just the fact, mam, just the facts! The foundation for a good humorous story is there, just not completed.

...but i dont know who francis is. I may have missed something. Might have to read again, but l8ked the story. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Frances was his mother who was living in an assisted living facility.

...he was hand building, in his spare time, in the basement?

Just asking.

Not to bad, buttttt did you do at least one reread before posting? hugh mouse...

And I also had to go back to discover who Frances is - I do not know many sons who call their mother by her name and not "mom" (accept in L incest stories).

So he is retired at 55 (lucky stiff), got a nice sum from the 'fund raisers'. But this BTB left us hanging as to how he is enjoying living in his mothers home. Like so many stories on L - no hot secretary in waiting or next door? And it took his daughter +6mo (final decree) to see him to apologize ????

The story lost continuity: "I parked a few blocks away, walked back, and waited." Waited for what - why??? Did he have the house bugged or snuck up to a window to hear: "He's not here. His closet is empty. There's not much left in his office." Looks like you were in a rush to end the story - your flight must have been called.

Good story but just seems to be slightly incomplete per typical L stories. But each his own! Did he start wood working as a hobby in moms basement? Still a 4.5* BTB but could have been a 6*.

I never shed a tear even when I opened my door, a few days after the divorce was finalized, and found Jessica standing there. I cannot begin to describe the pained look on her face with her lips quivering as she forced her words out in a shaky voice

"I'm sorry."

I opened my arms and held out a DNA test kit

She looked at me curiously

"You're mother is a cheating whore," I said, "Who knows how long the slut was spreading her legs, and given how easily you lost all respect for me you can see why I might doubt you are actually my child."

Insight into the daughters thoughts would have been nice after all she was grown up and about to be married.

She barely complained and even facilitated her mother.

Handled OK But?

Give you benefit of doubt not for sure how I wanted her handled

Extreme punishment or what lost fiance before wedding good enough?

Overall 4 stars

I.love the quick, decisive burn in the cheating bitch. Happy to see the enabling daughter scorched too. I enjoy happy endings.

is very tenous to say the least and to which shall they give allegiance, TK U MLJ LV NV

How could the daughter betray her father like that, by facilitating her mother's infidelity and keeping it secret, in spite of the fact that she knows her mother's lover bad mouths her father? An unnatural offspring, not worthy of her father's love! His response was good but somewhat inadequate.

Very good BTB story that wasn't overloaded with unneeded background. For pet owners the black light will also detect pet urine as well and can locate the source of that bad odor you've been noticing.

More background is needed for a story to have meaning and depth. Especially where the characters are concerned. The better you get to know the characters, their lives and their surroundings, the more pleasing it is to appreciate their fall from grace or their rise from the ashes. And an epilogue telling how things turned out for those that were harmed in the process is always a satisfying way to let go of the story.

Absolutely enjoy your style of writing - "tongue in cheek". A short story which has all the essentials. A paragraph on George and Loraine. post divorce would have been nice.5*s.

Great tale, thanks for sharing. Huh... now I have to find out if semen does glow under a black light.

Not that it matters, but it's the "laundry chute" not "laundry shoot", even though they sound the same.

Great story about karma.

Not sure how I missed this one, real glad I found it now. Lovely writing style, I could

become quite a fan. Thank you, albeit belated.

Thanks for a marvelous short story. I am amused also by the Anony genius who advises you to go into greater character development, deeper plot development, and add an epilogue - clearly, the fundamental differences between a fiction quickie and a novel escaped his greater skills and intellect.

He caught and found Not mice but rats and took app action

Loved this one.

Revenge did ryt

Should have been looking for rats. Could have saved himself time. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them in the future.

Good story!

5

4-stars.

... but I would have liked a little more of an ending.

I gave it 5 stars. That being said, one of the hardest story lines, is when the daughter helps her mom cheat. I guess she got payback with the wedding being cancelled, but I don’t think Dad should have been so fast to attempt reconciliation. Let her have him totally out of her life for 10 years of so... The only saving grace, was it appeared she did not condemn her dad, for outing her to her boyfriend, which caused the wedding to be cancelled. That being said, the daughter only looked at her dad, as a clueless meal ticket. Yeah, no way I would have reconciled so fast....

Story needs to be expanded and finished to make it a 5star tale.

Ok story, but needs a little more to fill it out.

Never should’ve forgiven his daughter.

Sad tale of a daughter as a willing accomplice to her mother's betrayal.

Me as a father of a daughter that just hurt so much than the betrayal of the spouse.

Nicely done.

For sitting in an airport while writing this story I have to give you 5 stars. It was a very good flash story. Grammar nazi anon's comments where over the top. I guess some people don't read the introductions, go figure.

His daughter got off too easy. He should've cut her off temporarily. Yes she went along with the mom but she also betrayed her father in the worse way. I can see not wanting to break up the family but for her to go along is prob worse imo

Good flash. I think it needs some more context from the daughter or even a bit from the wife... just to see whether there is any remorse.... really.

Though i agree the daughter is almost a worse betrayal.

I especially like that he warned the daughters fiancé.

ZK

Would like to have included what happened next with both his daughter and him

Enjoyed. For flash story covered most of it. Would have liked daughter's explanation of why helped. Wife who cares she did it. jtwheels

Man this has a Nelson Munoz “Ha Ha” moment at the end for the ex.

Daughter needs to be disowned and cut off. Cool that he warned the future daughter hubby. Men are at significant disadvantages. Too many lw authors are too soft in stuff like this. I am sorry are feeble words without any cost to offender. Actions speak louder.

His daughter was put in a bad situation but she knowingly helped hide her mother's infidelity and deserves a much longer sentence than what she got. Would've been nice if there were dialogue between the mom and daughter after he moved out.

Ok. So the daughter lost her wedding. I figure this is a good price to pay, for her betrayal. But I don’t think the daughter has changed her stripes. If she was 9 or 10 years old, and mom threatened her if she told, maybe. But being an adult, is another story. I really think he should minimize his relationship with her, at this point. Allowing her back into his good graces so soon, will not teach her anything. I guess it’s a fine line. Don’t totally alienate her, but keep her at a distance. Be cordial, but not friendly. If she ever contemplates getting engaged again, make a condition that they both talk to her boyfriend about the situation together, and demand a prenup, if hubby is going to pay anything. Some will say this is cruel, but life is cruel. It’s a parents job, to try to teach their children right from wrong, and to accept consequences for their behavior. Obviously, if this website is any indication, that lesson is sorely lacking.

Fun story however all the financial stuff he did is BS. Divorce courts only have to hear of a "cashed out" 401k and a LOC being used by one party to come down hard on that party. He could have used the money to pay debt....but not tohide fubds. Makes for joy in reading however.

Good revenge on the cheating wife and the accomplice daughter

Obviously, the MC is looking forward to seeing his grandchildren, that is why he hasn’t totally isolated his daughter for her failure to protect his marriage. As for his wife, this author has the balls to BTB, unlike many other well known authors on literotica. To those other literotica author, all that I can say is “YOU’RE ALL JUST A GAGGLE OF CUCKOLDS”.

Lmao at AA82ndAA who said that the Divorce courts would come after him! If they can’t find the money, the money doesn’t exist. It’s the same as trying to get money after you successfully sue someone. You are owed money but it is very hard to get it if they don’t want to give it. He will just make up private companies with unknown directors to control his money and assets..

The daughter got off way too easily

3/5

Another good one. Hope the daughter learned a lesson too.

3 stars for a decent BTB.

However, it is more fun to read the comments, especially if there are any legal issues or money hiding - hahaha

I cant imagine having the women you love most in this whole world betray you in such a callous way. He raised his daughter from birth, gave her everything, and that's how she repays him. Smh

Great story as always

A jolly little jaunt, well worth four stars. If I may be allowed one little nit pick it is that I've noticed in several of M&M's stories he uses the word 'arraignment' when he actually means 'arrangement'. Nice if he could just clear that one up going forward.

M&M's stories are a cuck-free zone. The cumguzzlers who love cuck stories must hate him...

I liked the story. I hope he reconciles with his daughter.

would have found it difficult to forgive the daughter but never less a good story

Seriously? No explanation from the daughter as to why she helped her mother? Not even any idea if the daughter was "sorry" because she knew she was wrong? Or because she got caught?

"Yes it is, my dear"

"Got it, I'm just the banker"

One of my favorites

Great story. I did like the gathering of evidence and his obvious disdain when he said, “I’m just the banker”