by MrRandyWatson
I think it was the football talk and rough loving between a gorgeous black female and white stallion. I'm hopping there's more.
PS- Go Bears!
I think my title says it all. Football is ok, but tone it down some pretty please. Most are here for the rough love and baby mama drama. Also, some moe description on the main character would be interesting, (just a thought).
I was a little unsure on how far to take the football discussion - yes, I know it's the framework to the story; after all, my main character is a football coach. At the same time, this is Lit, and I've yet to see a story like this. I pretty much extrapolated the story from 2014's "Draft Day" - needless to say, I took a number of liberties and will continue to do so. The baby mama drama? Oh yes, there's plenty of that. I also plan to tie in Neil's football role with an X-rated pre-game ritual from his hot new lady.
Remember, this is a four-part story. Neil will evolve - I intentionally made him rough around the edges because that's his starting point. I wanted him to be somewhat of an anti-hero at the beginning, so if you don't really like him right now, that's not a bug; that's a feature.
I am enjoying your story....tried to rate it a 5 and hit 1 by mistake. Sorry! Can't wait for the next chapter. As a woman that loves football, I am enjoying that as a background.
I am loving your story and can't wait to keep reading it. I like the fact that the dad is raising the daughter and doing whatever to protect her. It's a nice change. And it's called Necessary Roughness. Of course there is going to be a lot of football talk. So what it's Lit, it doesn't have to be all about sex. Sheesh people open your minds a little more!!!!!
I am really enjoying your storytelling, you have a good grasp on your characters and it is a fun story to read. You could use some editing though because there are some technical and grammatical issues that get in the way. Keep up the great work!
With how Dan Campbell is now the head coach of the Lions it's fun to go back and read this story. I read it when it first came out, recently stumbled across "Always Bet on Black" in the random story section and decided to reread that first. Funny how if you follow football you know a lot of the names and look where they are now.