Needing Leah Ch. 07

The story so far...

18-year-old Liam Weber has been sent by his parents to Bryner academy, the only private school that accepted him on a scholarship. Only, when he arrived, he discovered it was a school for girls and that his name had been listed as Leah. With the help of his roommate Ellie, he is forced to become Leah and hide his identity for as long as it takes until he can get himself transferred. Her first day of classes saw her suffering torment at the hands of a bully named Anna. The experience is still on Leah's mind...

7: Remote Control

Ellie suspected something was wrong with me the rest of the day. After our classes finished, she took me to the library so I could take out some books for reading in my free time. I grabbed a couple, though did not expect to read either of them. The amount of homework we'd been set already was daunting. After a brief dinner in the canteen with Kiara, Ellie and I returned to our dorm room to get started on the work. A Study Of The 1689 Bill Of Rights. We sat in silence, taking notes at our own desks. I could sense her turning around to glance at me every now and then. She definitely suspected something was wrong. When she asked, I suggested it was simply first day nerves and adjusting to my life as Leah. We spent the evening in a tense state of skirting the issue until I'd had enough of studying and asked her if we could spoon under the covers again. She giggled affectionately. "You like being the little spoon, don't you?"

"Not always, just...just right now."

"We did that yesterday as a treat for you. You were a good girl, then, but you have to earn nice things."

She must've seen what I was feeling in my face. I watched her own expression soften at the sight of mine. She didn't tease or test any further. She just let me under the covers and held me close. I nestled myself against her. She put on a film. Her choice, Paddington. I preferred having the warm duvet pulled over my head. I just wanted to feel safe. To be held. After what had happened...Ellie gave me that. I felt her stomach ripple beside me in the moments she was laughing at the film. I felt her soft hand stroke through my hair or down my side, or her kisses against my neck as she whispered things into my ear like "sweet girl" or "my baby." I didn't want to talk or do anything at all. Soon enough, I fell asleep under the covers. I slept deeper than I could ever remember and did not awake until I heard Ellie coming back from her morning run.

"You slept a lot." She said.

I nodded. Stretching and yawning but keeping myself wrapped in the covers.

"You were so cute last night. I guess the first day wore you out, huh?"

"I hope today's a better day."

"Not if you don't hurry up and get dressed, come on."

I got up, showered, and dressed. Ellie did our makeup again, promising she was going to teach me to do it myself when we had time.

"Are you feeling better this morning, girl?" she asked me, finishing with my makeup and taking the chair to begin hers.

"Yeah."

"Are you ready to talk about it? It seemed more than first day nerves."

I squirmed at that. There was no way I was mentioning...it. I couldn't. I didn't even want to think it. Luckily, I had a different answer I could give. "My...I forgot to tell you. I messaged my dad yesterday. I thought maybe I could talk to him over the phone but he said we could talk in person at the weekend. He'll be nearby on a job or something..." My sigh was heavy enough to deflate me. "I don't even know how to respond."

"Tell him no."

"He lives the other side of the country, Ellie. The rare chance he happens to be near on a job, I can't refuse him."

She considered that. "I suppose you do need to find out the truth, scary as it might be...a talk face to face might be good."

"Dressed as a girl? I don't think I could bear the look on his face."

"No, you could meet him in the village, away from the school. You could dress as Liam for the day. It'll be weekend, after all. We'll ask your friend Kiara for places to go in the village."

I shrugged. "Maybe." She wanted to talk more, however she received an email that post was waiting in the Selene lobby. I went and fetched it for her. A large cardboard package. Ellie smiled when I brought it in.

"Your clothes are in there, Leah. Not the breasts yet but now you have your own lingerie, so come on. Get mine off."

I wanted proper time to look at it all but we were running late. I picked out the first set, a burgundy padded bra with gold trim and a thong to match. I liked the feel of thongs, and this one was stretchy enough that it felt comfortable. I slipped them on while Ellie stood smiling at me.

"Now you've got your own, you can make them as dirty as you like." She said.

"So, so the rule doesn't apply?"

"You still can't cum unless I say so, but we can excuse little stains now. Which should be fun actually because..." She rummaged through the several parcels contained in the box and pulled out a tiny vibrator. "I can tease you throughout the school day now."

She raised the vibrator underneath my skirt, turning it on and pressing it against me. "Isn't that fun?"

I shook with the feeling. Standing there as she rubbed it against me. "Th-this means I'm gonna be edged even more?"

"Of course!" Ellie said happily. "When we get back tonight, I want you out of your mind begging me to let you cum...not that I'll agree."

I let out an uncomfortable moan. She removed the vibrator. I took a moment to recover before nodding. "Ok."

"You'd like that, Leah?" She turned it on and had me clenching my fists for a second, until it stopped. I exhaled sharply. "Would you like that?"

I thought for a second. "What if someone hears it?"

"You've heard how quiet it is, honey. No one will hear unless you make a noise yourself." She held it out before my ear, turning it on again to demonstrate. It was particularly quiet.

"Ok. You won't do it too much, though? I was anxious enough in classes yesterday without..."

She nodded and kissed me on the forehead. "I know. I'm hoping the excitement of this might actually help. It might give you something more fun to worry about instead, like a distraction."

I smiled at that. "How very thoughtful of you."

She laughed and shoved me in the side. "Shut up, it might! If it gets too much, you text me, ok?" She pulled my thong out. There was a pouch close to the top, just big enough for the vibrator to slip into in front of my penis. "You don't remove this without my permission first, though. Remove it at all today and you'll be punished, ok?"

"So...so you'll just like operate it remotely?"

"It runs from an app I've got. Supposedly it's got a good range." There was a pause. She looked at me again. "Ok?"

She wanted reassurance. Perhaps it was my low mood. This was clearly a plan she had formulated in advance and something she was hoping I'd be more excited for. I wasn't reluctant but I found it hard to feel excited about anything right now. I was hard, at least. What if it did help distract me? At the very least, I wanted to please her. "Yeah, ok. I'll be good."

"That's my girl. Now, we have to get going."

Perhaps classes were easier today, in a manner of speaking. There were no panic attacks and Miss Anderton was a really engaging teacher for my morning class of political studies. Danielle was in my class, who was deliberately avoiding eye contact with me, as I with her. It was hard to tell if Danielle felt guilty or just awkward about what had happened. It didn't make a difference either way. Her presence did nothing but remind me of something I wanted to forget. Were she apologising, it would probably only feel even worse.

That vibrator, though. Clearly it had a good range because Anderton's room was technically a basement room in the main building; half-submerged in the ground so that the windows looking out were inches below the ceiling. I didn't know how Ellie could get away with using her phone so much in class, but she made my morning hell. There was total unpredictability. I couldn't tell when it was going to start, nor how long it might last for. I couldn't plead or do anything that might stop her, short of risking the use of my phone, which might've been easier were I not in the front row. I couldn't even make any noise. I had to sit there, holding my breath, attempting to make notes, only to be caught off guard by the vibration starting up. The amount of my times it caused my pen to jog across the page. The amount of times I had to lean forwards and grip my hands to my knees. For such a small, silent vibrator, it was powerful, and Ellie seemed able to control its power, speed, and bursts all as fluidly as a wave. In the moments it was on, I was praying for it to stop. In the moments it was off, I couldn't think about anything else other than the worrying thought of when it might start up again; keeping me permanently aroused, alert, and fearing I might break the new rule. I had to admit, it was exciting. It did help my anxiety in the sense it was focus on the vibrator. Whether or not that was a good thing, I wasn't sure.

I was desperate for the lunch bell to ring. When it did, I found it difficult to get up and walk like an ordinary human being. I ached. My movements must've been visibly odd as Kiara looked confused.

"Are you alright?" She asked as we made our way to the canteen.

"Indigestion." I lied. "Only a little bit."

"I was thinking...if we don't get too much homework...do you want to do something sometime?"

I looked to her. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Whatever you like. My roommate's kinda bossy. I prefer avoiding her as much as I can."

"My roommate's bossy, too." I thought, terrified the vibrator would turn on again. "Ok." I said. "But you've been at Bryner for years. I don't know what we can do. Ellie gave me a quick tour of the school but I didn't see everything."

"Oh. Well, there's club. Going into the village is fun but we can only get away with that on weekends."

"Otter's Drift?" I asked. "My dad wants to meet me there this weekend, is there anywhere good I could go?" The question blurted out unexpectedly. It took her by surprise for a second. Then she shrugged.

"Either the pub or the Maple Leaf café. Both are good but that's all the variety you're getting unless the weather's good for a walk." She tried quizzing me about my dad but I dodged it. I took her back to the subject of hanging out.

"Common rooms are the best bet, then." She said. "Which dorm are you?"

"Selene. You sat at our table in the canteen yesterday."

"Yes, obviously." She made a play of hitting her palm against her forehead. "Mine's Artemis but the Selene dorm's got a better common room. They've got retro games, a table-tennis table...or, well a table you can play table-tennis on, anyway. Do you like table tennis?" She said excitedly.

"Sure. Ok. I wouldn't have thought they'd have videogames in a school like this."

She shrugged. "Well I thought they'd have had a kitchen in the dormitory, now we're 18 but it's like Miss Anderton said, someone used the oven as a toilet." She started laughing, far more than the story merited. "I mean can you imagine the smell?"

"Are you allowed to enter our common room, if you're not from Selene?"

"Not technically. The younger years tend to get very tribal about their dorms but, by this age, it doesn't seem like anyone cares."

Ellie came forwards. She had been waiting before the canteen entrance, looking to me with a knowing grin. "Feeling good, Leah?"

"Mhm." I said, suddenly feeling another blast of the vibrator. I clutched my thigh for a second, until it stopped. I wanted to tell Ellie it was too much, but I also didn't want to disappoint her. Discretely, so Kiara remained unaware, I sent Ellie a text to check.

So if it does get too much, I can send you a text and you'll stop?

If you're lucky. Is it too much?

Not yet

Good girl

She said she wanted me begging her when the day was over. The more this went on, the more I believed she really intended that.

We sat and ate. Jess was running round again, shaking hands with people at different tables, and when she saw us, she came over again.

"Oh, hello Leah, Ellie, Kiara. Are you all friends? That's delightful! I used to have theatre lessons with Kiara in fifth year. Do you remember Mr. Walker? Old theatre teacher who was fired for, well, relations with some girl. Can't remember who it was now..."

She said all this of her own accord, rambling on and completely interrupting the conversation we had been having amongst ourselves.

"Jade." Kiara said.

"That was it! Jittery Jade. She was expelled for it too, wasn't she? Quite unfair. Truly horrid. Anyway, are you feeling better now, Leah?" The question was thrown at me so suddenly that I found myself choking on a swig of water for a second. Jess had been stood beside Ellie, on the opposite side of the table to me, but she now squeezed herself into the small space between Ellie and the next girl over.

"Erm. Better after what?"

"Your panic attack. People were talking about it in my class this morning. Do you have social anxiety? Because there's a leaflet for the school counsellor on the wall over there."

"I don't have anxiety." I said, my face burned up in redness. Why were they gossiping about me? Why did Jess think I'd want to know that?

"Well, there are services if you need them. Jojo and Anna are leaving you alone now?"

"Mhm." I said, nodding. I didn't want to get onto that topic of conversation.

"They wouldn't dare anymore." Ellie said, almost boasting. "They know I'd kick their teeth in. Jojo glares at me a lot in class, but that's about all she does."

"You have Jojo in your class?" Jess said sympathetically. "Hard luck. Remember what I told you about her."

"How could I forget?" Ellie laughed. "She's so weird. She walked past me at the start of class, whispering: 'does Leah like chocolate?' Fuck knows what that's supposed to mean."

They all laughed in bemusement. I pretended to. Suddenly I didn't feel hungry.

"She's probably just trying to confuse you." Jess suggested. "Don't bother with her. Have any of you thought any more about the photography club?"

Again, it was like all her questions came out of the blue. There was a moment of silence until Ellie said. "I didn't know we were supposed to be thinking about it."

"It's great! I run the club. We take photos, set up exhibitions, and raise some money for good causes. We currently use an old room in Athena dormitory, but I'm trying to see if we can wangle one of the meadows buildings."

"The meadows? Isn't that only for the Bryner club?" Ellie asked.

"Only one of the buildings is the Bryner club house." Jess explained with a proud, knowing look on her face. "But maybe some of us know more about the Bryner club than others. Not anything I'm allowed to share, of course."

"You're a member?"

"No, but I do have a contact on the inside." She raised her fingers into speech marks as she said that, then started laughing goofily. "We'll have to see what happens. Have you thought any more about it, Kiara?"

Kiara shook her head. With that, Jess seemed to have exhausted everything she wanted to tell us, and retreated again to a different table. We waited till she'd gone then breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is she always like that?" Ellie asked Kiara.

"Always. She's been desperate for two years that I join her bloody club. She wants a token black girl, I'm sure that's what it is. Since there's only like me, Danielle, and one other in this place who aren't posh and British, she won't leave me alone."

"I'm not British." I said.

"Neither are you posh." Ellie added.

"Well, if she starts pestering you a lot, maybe she's after a token German girl, too."

Ellie shook her head. "It's not that. I think Jess has a crush on Leah."

"Why don't Anna and Jojo pick on her, then." I suddenly exclaimed, irritated. "If Jess likes girls, why don't they push her around and call her lesbian? I haven't even done anything!"

"It's alright, they won't pick on you anymore." Ellie said, a little taken aback by my outburst.

"All I did was hold your hand because I was nervous. Holding hands doesn't mean anything! Why is it something to pick on me about? I'm fed up with it. I'm just...I'm just fed up."

"Leah?"

I was on my feet. "I'm just fed up!"

I stormed away, out of the canteen, heading for the bathroom. As soon as I got inside, I started crying. I shut myself into a cubicle, standing with my back pressed against the side. I clenched a hand over my face.

Then the vibrator started. "God, not now. Not now." I whispered to myself. It was on full intensity. I was close to cumming before I'd even gotten fully hard. It wasn't stopping. I tried sitting down over the closed toilet lid, then standing up again, then squatting down. It was hurting. The vibrator was beating my tip raw. My breathing quickened. "God, not now. Ellie, what are you thinking? Not now." I didn't want to take it out of the pouch. Even if she wouldn't know, I didn't want to break her rule. All the same, I couldn't be edged now. I was crying. I didn't want to be edged while I was crying.

A soft moan escaped my mouth. I hadn't meant it to. I covered it with my hands, then moaned again. Even in moaning, I did sound like a girl. Somehow that turned me on even more. I was going to cum. The vibrator wasn't stopping. I moaned again. I couldn't seem to stop myself, nor could I stand or sit still. I put a hand down my skirt, trying to remove the vibrator, but ending up rubbing myself through the thong. My knees felt weak. I was going to cum. "Oh fuck." I whispered. Then, with a sudden panic, I pulled the thong down to my knees, gasping as though finally able to breathe properly again. The vibrator was still running, down between my legs. I couldn't cum. I couldn't dare be punished again.

Fuck! I cursed with recognition. Even in just removing the vibrator, that was another rule I'd broken. I was damned either way.

"Screw it, then." I pulled them back up. I clasped both hands back over my mouth and closed my eyes. "I've already broken one rule, I might as well break them all."

The vibrator stopped. I heard the bathroom door open and Ellie's voice call. "Leah? Did you survive all that?"

I sank down onto the toilet seat, sighing in defeat. I'd missed my chance. I'd broken a rule as well as missed my fucking chance. Ellie was going to kill me if she found out.

After classes finished for the day, Kiara asked again about hanging out in the common room. I agreed but told her I had a few things to sort with Ellie first. She clearly thought it was to do with my outburst at lunch. I went back to the room with Ellie, who also thought I might've wanted to talk about that.

"I'm sorry, baby." She began. "It was just right near the end of lunch and I didn't think you'd want a big, emotional talk when the bell would interrupt halfway through."

"No, I agree." I said. I hadn't wanted a conversation then. Even so, she had (despite the vibrator) to come and check on me, to ask if I wanted space to talk, to ask if I was in the wrong mood for teasing. I had shaken my head. I wasn't entirely sure why but I had become determined to see it through to the end. The rest of the day had continued with the same bursts of vibration. I spent most of the day aroused, though not once did I cum. It had left me desperate.

"So, do you wanna talk now?" Ellie asked. She plonked herself down on my bed, patting the mattress, instructing me to sit beside her. I did so but shook my head.