All Comments on 'Negative Space Ch. 03'

What a fabulous turn of events. It's as though it shifted from first gear to third. The characters, even the new ones, seem rich and fascinating.

The story is a real page turner, and definitely a new twist on the vampire lore. Well done!

this is such an amazingly different approach to most stories. I am eagerly awaiting more

I wasn't sure what to think of the first two. I wasn't sure whether I liked the characters or not. I was more saddened by the way Lana was simply existing, not living... and slightly creeped out and intrigued by Theo. But with this chapter, you've hooked me.

I'm going to read the latest chapter now and I'm looking forward to more.

I like the way Lana decided she wasn't taking any shit and proved it by standing her ground. For a reason unknown to us, Lana has chosen not to be a doctor yet she demands to treat someone she doesn't even know. Once she makes this decision she becomes a whole different person. Someone who seems very confidante in herself. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I find it weird and kind of indecent that you made Lana practically have an orgasm in front of everyone and a woman that's about to give birth. It's even weirder that it was the woman giving birth that made her almost have an orgasm. But never the less I'm still going to read on, but I'm not sure how I feel about this story. Im hoping that's it's going to pick up as well.

...what to make of this yet.

It seems like the base of a good story, but I think I would have liked it a bit more if Lana only "reacted" that sort of way towards Theo, who i assume is her mate.

As long as she doesn't end up being some kind of whore, i think i can stick with this.

k_k

I love that there is a slow build. I love how you word things.

Your disruptions and feelings are relatable. I love that Theo

Is cocky and an asshole sometimes but also has insecurities.

I love that Lana can hold her own and isn't "too girly" or mushy.

Badass chicks and cocky guys. We need more of those on this site.

very good chapter

Very good writing style, and the beginning where you started with the subway impression - that was just awesome! However, the protagonist's eagerness to give their neck to a vamp they met not five minutes ago trusting that vampire not to kill her or harm her - whether intentionally or not - seems rather unnatural. So if there's nothing that could explain this behavior in future chapters, I suppose you didn't put yourself into the character's shoes well enough in this chapter.

Am personally kicking my own ass for dodging this story!

I was thinking this was a werewolf story and here I am with vamps! I like it so far, just not really sure I like the idea of vamps having babies...

The writing is excellent. Unfortunately- your protagonist’s reactions are completely unnatural. “You are a vampire? Okay you can feed from me then.” Bullshit. And the ignorance of the vampires is beyond stupid. A pregnant vampire wouldn’t have researched what to expect and how to give birth? It’s weird how you write that opening on the subway so brilliantly but can’t do typical human reactions. Otaaaay. The Doctor business is kinda weird too - sorry but no one treats Lyme disease “1st with no investigation. Lyme disease is (unfortunately) the unknown one that’s last diagnosed - although admittedly it’s better documented now and more easily diagnosed - it’s still never “1st.” But it’s your circus and your monkey.