All Comments on 'Neighbor Girl Ch. 04'

maybe u will write about there life after college and what happens ??

Call me a disappointed romantic , but you could have written a quick epilogue where Billy and Suzy stay connected through his first year of college. She graduates, gets a job and Billy transfers to a university in the same town so they can be together. Cliche perhaps, but we need more Hallmark movies in our lives. Especially naughty ones.

First the easy stuff. Great premise and set-up. Familiar and sympathetic situation and characters. No weird stuff that defies possibility. Well written hot sex that unfolds as it should. So, bravo.

Second, love and romance. I struggle with this in my stories. Is Literotica a romance site, a porn site, a site for wankers, a site for readers, or a site for writers? It seems that the different categories have different expectations, based on the scoring and comments otherwise well-written stories attract.

It seems as though there is a dilemma for each author. Do you want to tell your stories the way you think they should be told, or write to the target to get high scores?

If you want writing to sell, the answer seems clearer. But maybe not as clear as some may think.

Keep calm, and carry on!

Good story with enough plot and great SEX this deserves more Maybe some of their mutual and separate excitement for the College years but need a renewal after grad and some ongoing excitement maybe some polyamory sharing but she needs to lose Vicky

Great story if i were you though do a follow up after Billy leaves college see if they have what it takes to be together in the real world

Come on let the guy get the girl there's another chapter or two left maybe she deals with that trifling bitch Vicky

1. Billy explores during college, with occasionally appearances by Suzy. 2. Victoria and Suzy host orgy to explore other guys. 3. Billy meet college soulmate, their explorations. 4. Suzy graduates and goes to Billy's college town as grad student or employee. 5. Time ahead 10 years each has been married but poorly, and brought back due to funeral, realize time has increased love, and then all the trials to renew relationship. Suggest DTiverson's For whom the bell rolls as example.

As I'm reading the passage where Billy's thinking 'is there anything else to say?' I'm mentally shouting 'tell her Vicki said she loves her and wants her for her own'. Left me a little befuddled that he didn't. To me that's far more important than telling her they did anal.

This series was very good for a new author: realistic dialogue, not a bunch of irrelevant details or extraneous characters, negligible proofreading glitches.

I did start to get 'off to college' overload, but that's pretty nitpicky.

Really very well written.

Keep writing, I'll read it.

Thanks.

Don't let them be apart! Either let Suzy realize she needs to be with him and makes it happen, or Billy gets his head out of his ass and switches colleges to be with her...these two have too much between them to let it go. Sure, let Victoria be the fly in the ointment...have some minor flare ups, but damn, let them be together!

This is the kind of reading I enjoy! True to life with no exaggerated Sexual equipment. I look forward to more!

Just let the conclusion of "Neighbor Girl" be the end of Chapter 1 and start a new tale/adventure as Chapter 2 of what happens next between Billy and Suzy.

so many stories on this site end before they should...or never get completed. this one deserves to continue on.

Aside from a few typos, a really good story and well-written. Have fun and, as long as you continue to enjoy writing, keep doing it!

Good read. You have to write the sequel, we need the next chapter.

Well Crap! Would like to see this continued as others are suggesting but your indication at the end that this is ruffly based on personal experience maybe this is as far as we need to go. Lots of first love regrets out there and what if's.

You proved me wrong. Suzy isn't the manipulator I though at the end of last chapter.

Not sure about Victoria. With both Billie and the college dude out of the picture, does she convince Suzy that she does like (or will settle for) cunt over dick? They both claim to love each other. OK, I'll quit poking. It's your story and if you say this is the end then it's the end. It will cost you though! Write me another story to read! ;-) !

As always keep writing!

Cheers

Sage

Continue writing and continue this story. Suzy graduates and goes for her masters at Billy's college after they get together at Christmas and then spend spring break together etal

Please continue, I hate bad endings. Wonderful story

I wish you would write an epilogue for 5 years later...get these two back together!!!

IT HAD LOVE, IT HAD PASSION, IT HAD LUST, 3 SOMES , What a great story, need to keep going with this one , maybe Billy transfers to college end of first semester, or Suzy does the same . After Billy coming in her for the first time , she is pregnant with his child and they live together, must keep this one going for sure .

This story touched me, at first it was just a good kind of story but the ending brought me to my knees

I don't know if there should be another chapter as well

very well done in all aspects