All Comments on 'Neighborhood Dad Ch. 15'

this could get interesting

You write very well and take a reader there. The direction this story now seems to be headed, with our gentle hand, could become very good!

I think you need to reign in coach or we are going to be reading the headlines about him. You are writing a character that is unable to maintain a proper distance between he and his players. He knows what he should be doing, but his little brain takes over and these young girls talk. It's what they do best and his life is going to go down the toilet in a heart beat. To succeed a story has to have a strong connection with reality and the danger from underage girls does not end with the completion of the basketball season, or graduation.We all read about teachers and coaches that get outed years later by women that come forward when an allegation hits the media. His situation with Randy is a bit different, as she is not on the team and once she graduates and due to her age she is not off limits, although tongues will wag. This situation with Autumn was set up and both girls in the room knew it.

ok, I mostly enjoyed this chapter and expected that sooner or later, Gina would show up and something might ensue BUT, c'mon now Coach should not have been in that situation with Autumn and/or let it go on like it did.

He's suppose to be a more rational, mature man not some inexperienced hormone driven teenager who can't control his urges.

I'd have to say you ventured out on thin ice with this installment.

I agree with with other comments. I really think he needs to back pedal with the mother/daughter idea and stick to Randi. If this keeps up he is going to have an orgy with the team and his daughter will find out and lose respect for him. The teammate that knew something was going on is going to talk if something really does go on.

This is one of my favorite series but I have to agree with the previous comments. The excuse coach gives Lori is weak - she even called BS on it. I was hoping she'd make him name a name, or at least leave the room believing that he didn't know it was her but still very suspicious.

Also I found it hard to believe that Amanda had such a turn about in attitude - she was mortified seeing him that first time, but now suddenly she's more than ok with it? And why would Kim be ok with it too?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for stories that have the teen/older guy dynamic, even the daughter/father thing, but this story hasn't really been written that way till now. Just seems like a big change in direction without any explaination for it.

I hope the author regards our comments as constructive feedback and not negatives. Please keep writing, I'll keep reading.

Good series but I think the pace of the release of the chapters is way to slow. The long breaks lets people forget/wander away from the series.

I agree that the conversation with Lori was weak, but you've managed to write this whole series so well that I doubt that's where it will lie. Also, oh my goodness Autumn. That was a very hot scene and really unexpected. Spectacular.

Whenever I see a new Neighborhood Dad Chapter I drop everything and read. Keep on being awesome!

Autumn? Oh yeah, gotta get some of that, Coach! ;3 It's fantasy after all, so have fun with it.

a great writer with an great story

Someone thought that it wasn't realistic that Autumn would flash the coach after being shocked at seeing him naked earlier. Don't forget that it was back at Halloween when that happened, and it's now March. A lot can change in 4+ months -- especially for teens. Every year in high school has to be counted like dog years.

:) I believe that Autumn was affected by seeing her coach naked, and it opened her eyes to an inner sexuality that had lain dormant until shocked awake.

Also, no I don't believe Lori fully believed what the coach had to say. She was caught off-guard by what he said and heard what she wanted to hear. But later when we are alone and start rolling thoughts over in our minds, we often find holes in arguments we didn't see before.

Ok well I agree with your point LittleHenry. Also, given the writing style, I guess if Coach didn't notice Autumn checking him out or other little indicators, then it shouldn't be written in. Need the next chapter, can't wait to see what happens!

Whene you have a girlfriend there seems to be more friendly girls around. I guess the karma just works better .

Funny how dry spells work. Nothing for months and then there's more than you can handle. Great story love the character development.

It was an ok chapter I enjoyed the autumn part so hot, but also expected some lori and henry action! So much sexual tension between those two.