All Comments on 'Neuro Submission Transmitter Ch. 04'

Volcanic story writing as usual, I absolutely love this series!!! THANKYOU!

Another GREAT chapter, hope to see another one soon. Keep writing this one for sure. Thanks.

I like how the characters are developing and that Nick is learning that there are consequences to his actions.

Again, this episode surprised me. Yes, there was hot sex and mind control, but the plot turns were engaging, surprising and logical. The whole thing was very well written.

What I loved:

1. The way he was able to use the transmitter on himself - very smart.

2. I'm glad you included the mother in the first two pages (my favorite character of all the women, especially in chapter 2), since she disappears until the very end.

3. Nick experiencing some regret about some of his transmission commands. Character development - yes!

4. Carl getting angry about Maggie putting her finger up his ass. When Carolyn said "he's homophobic", this was probably meant to be a joke on Carl, but I was agreeing with him. Nick is encountering too many naked guys, and getting fucked in the ass by women with a dildo. For most straight guys, we don't like stuff going up our ass - just my opinion, but I'll bet it's a common one.

5. Nick's mom finding the DVDs and revealing that Nick has been using the transmitter was brilliant! Who saw this coming? No one!

6. Nicole's come-uppance at the end. I never liked her whiny character from the beginning, and only liked her the last 2 chapters because she was totally controlled by Nick and her mother. It's mean, but I laughed when she stormed out.

What I did not like at all:

1. All of a sudden, Nick's sister is the one he loves more than anyone else? For episode 2 and 3, it was his mother. Back in these chapters, he liked fucking his sister, but his mother was his "favorite". Now all of a sudden he is in love with his sister and he's ready for her to be his "girlfriend"? This comes right out of left field and for me was not believable at all. Especially since in chapter 3, after having sex with Maggie, he went home and had sex with his mom, and specifically mentioned that with everyone else it was "fucking", but with his mom it was "making love". I know Nick spent a lot of time between chapters 3 and 4 at college with his sister, but I did not buy this new relationship at all. Personally, based on previous chapters, it was much more likely that he would choose to be with his mother (or even Maggie) before choosing his sister. There was never a "connection" with his sister like there was with his mother in Chapters 2 and 3

2. The football gangbang. Guys hanging out with each other while naked after having sex with one girl? No thank you.

3. A threesome with two guys? Most guys do not say "yeah, the hell with a threesome with 2 girls, I wanna fuck a girl with another guy". I know Sherrie's boyfriend had the whammy put on him with the transmitter, but with each chapter there is a subtle progression of having Nick interact more and more sexually with other men (and get fucked in the ass). Enough of that.

4. The orgy was great, but having Carl there just didn't work. I know it was Maggie's fantasy to be fucked by a black guy, but Nick could have set that up with the transmitter and it could have happened "off-screen". He spent so much of the orgy watching Carl, I half-expected the two of them to start fucking. This is the story a young straight guy - what's with all of the other naked guys? If I had this transmitter, I'd just be using it on ONLY women and not including any guys at all.

5. Even if you buy the deeping "girlfriend" relationship with Susan, she was still coming off as a clingy stalker. If it had been me, I would have used the transmitter on her as soon as she showed up when he was in bed with Nicole and told her to calm down about other girls and stop acting like Single White Female. And the whole "you came in me so you love me more than Nicole"? She sounded like Cameron Diaz's crazy fuck-buddy in Jerry Maguire - Susan even made him a CD, just like Diaz in JM - this can't be just a coincidence!

6. Before giving the transmitter to ANYONE, Nick should give them a suggestion that they would NEVER use it on him, or tell anyone else about the transmitter - I don't care how much he trusts Maggie. Didn't he learn his lesson with Nicole getting her hands on it? Or his father using his own transmitter against him and Maggie? Nick is usually smart, but this seemed dumb.

7. A shower that can fit five people? What is this house, the local gym? (ok, now I'm nit-picking)

Still, even with these problems, there is more than enough to applaud. Well done. And keep 'em coming!

(sorry this was so long, but this story is so well done it invites such discussion)

Maybe not the best series here, but the best I've read. I found myself skipping over the sex scenes to get to the plot. When Nick's mother found out about the transmitter, there was such a connection with the character that the suspense was nearly unbearable. Erotically, it has a little of something for a lot of different fetishes, gay/lesbian, incest, mind control, interracial, and a few others. Unfortunately, I can't fathom how it could continue past this chapter, but I hope this isn't the end. I'm sure you'll come up with something. I hope you'll come up with something. Please come up with something?

A great story! Please the next chapter!

Like others have said here. I can't wait for the next installment.

Never left a comment before but i have to say the best stories i have ever read. EVER!!!

id like to see more but itd also be a great ending spot just be sure to write other stories if you do stop this one.

Easily my favourite series of stories that I've ever read on Literotica. Just brilliant work. Well done!

All I an say is that you sir are my hero!

Not just my hero, you are the people's hero!

If you don't write soon, I may die!

You are winning the contest of jedi master!

Please! Please! Please!

Write some more soon!

Fantastic work, keep it coming, we all will appreciate it fully. Very hot and nice ending? I hope not though. Nicole kinda got screwed over.

Extra kudos for writing a mind control story with such subtle uses, eventually not using it at all. I hope there is a satisfactory resolution for Nicole, she has that innocent bystander quality as of now.

Even more praise and thanks for using the spell check and proper use of homonyms, those distract the reader.

Thank you, definite 5

How can anyone surpass this one? I loved this story from beginning to end, and am happy to say it ended on the best possible note.

Kudos! You may rest on your laurels for 10 minutes...make that 5 minutes and back to the word processor!

Great work on this chapter! Cant wait for the next one. Keep up the good work!

This is an amazing series very well written very detailed combined with a magnificent plot. All in all a truly great read and I can't wait for the next installment.

This is without a doubt among the best, if not THE best, series I have ever read here. I have read a lot of stories here, mostly the incest ones. The way his sister, Susan, was used in these stories was wonderful. You definately have talent. The interaction and conversations between each character in each situation was an unexpected major league PLUS! Please give us more. Hopefully, you will find a way to bring the father back into this.

daddiospatio

Delightful worries and conflicts. Hot for every paragraph or at least every page, yet spiced with tiny doses of realism and a range of human emotions. Thanks a bunch.

When you want to get the spelling right, and the pronouns, and especially the use of "literally", I sit ready to pick nits through whole manuscripts. I've already been well paid for such efforts, so thanks again.

I loved the whole story. It would make a great movie.

This was by -far- the best story I have read, on Literotica and any other site like it. Simply amazing to find writing of this quality here. Congratulations... I doubt anyone will be able to surpass this masterpiece.

I hope there are going to be more installments of this superb masterpiece

i loved all of them!!! great ending to, i also think it would make a great movie!

i liked nick+nicole alot better than nick+susan. i prefered it alot when nick+nicole were in love, i didn't like it when he made her fuck other guys, it should have just been him. i was hoping she was going the one girl he didn't use the transmitter on and one day they would get married, lol.

also i wish he would have asked nicole why she created all these hang ups about using the transmitter when before she was excited. i'm really bugged now.

If I wasn't so picky, I'd be in full support, but you need a copy-editor. Besides that, you're in good shape, leaving few stones unturned. I only wish I could write as feverishly as you must. Definatly keep up the good work.

you are the best erotic writer ever! It just so happens youre the reason I found Literotica! When I searched google I found your story My Virgin Sister! I think you and slickman should write a story together. BTW you deserve to fuck any women in the world!

waiting for more installments of this superb story.

damn u can sell this stuff and earn a lot but right noe plz add more here to access it free

One of the best ones, perfect for a movie... I request for a next chapter involving Nick's English teacher... And may be some of her female students too... You are simply among the best... BEST of LUCK in whatever you undertake...

WOW. What can i say? I think you could probably sign me up to buy one of those devices straight away. i could do with the cock control. unfortunately in the 3 hours it took me to read the whole thing i only managed to come 47 times. it would have been better without a limit. you are a brilliant writer and i hope you bring out more stories like this.

THANK YOU SO MUCH SAMSLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please as we all fan wants,write one more chapter on it.

we want to know what happens next ?

we want to see more of his mom,sis and girlfriend's mom.

Also u can add his teacher as u didn't wrote much on her.

and u also got to free his dad assistant from football team !!!!!!!!!

and as someone wrote that it would be great if our hero goto some other country with his mom and sis and help people their with his transmitter and also have fun.

First ine was iffy an a few spots here an there wsa also iffy BUT it was a great story all in all... So whaer does Lill Bro, Sis & Mom go from here??? "WE WANT A CHAPTER 5"

BillyF...

go into mom and mary,s relationship, and maggie teaching susan about all the toys and introduce a new chacter an aunt from out of town visting, loved it, good book

Great story, my only peeve is how the guy could continue to come in gallons. Not have the multiple orgasms, but spurt out globs of cum each time.

Other than that extremely sexy tale, great dialog (a must for me)

An exceptional read and very descriptive. Tho a bit wordy at times, it was like reading a book you are ingrossed in, once you start reading you can't stop!!

Amazing Story! I wish I could cum as many times as Nick did while I was reading this story! We MUST have chapter 5!

just alittle miffed by the whole nicole turnout

Amazing story, but poor Nicole, I hope she and Maggie are OK. What happens to the teacher? I think another few chapters wouldn't go amiss!

Wonderfully complex interactions and the scenes manage to have something fresh each time

The vastest sex life ever.

obviously never read six times a day.... the guy in that has a harem of 6 women and a cheerleading squad that basically he can fuck as he wishes.... and a few others iirc

during the nick,sherrie ken thing, susans name is thrown in there a couple o times. bit confusing. when she is not there but waiting for nick at home...

It felt a little rushed, but with a whole lot of ground covered in this chapter alone (let alone the whole series) I can understand why.

Danae's definitely one of the best characters.

the rage that Nicole had at the end for Nick is totally deserved, but is a drop in the bucket compared to what he is randomly doing to others. Danae might be a bitch, but to have her fuck the football team until she was nothing but used up meat on the floor of the bus and no one wearing any condoms, odds are, someone on the team would be infected with an STD and now she and the rest of the team would be as well. Not to mention the last one that was forced. Not only was she basically raped, but the one player was definitely raped. A person would have really had to have a lot of hatred for Danae to do what Nick did to her and women in general

I think he should have told them about the neuro submission transmitter sooner and then could have avoided the anger. Yes he did to a couple of good things and reversing the orders Harry gave Maggie and her daughter were good things. It would have been crazy for Nicole to have continued to go to Harrys house years and years after his death and for Maggie to not have ever had an orgasm again was just plain mean. What he did to Danae was wrong though. Although I firmly believe the US Government has a mind control device of somekind that they use. This story is fantasy and not real. Readers who get mad about what happened have to remember that.

I think this chapter easily tops the rest! So many things covered, and uncovered... Mom's discovery of the transmitter and DVDs, Nicole blowing her top (again), Danae's gangbang, Mom and Mary (would love to see an expansion on that) etc.

While some readers questioned Susan and Nick's falling in love, I actually feel that it was quite believable that their relationship blossomed after Nick moved in with Susan and Sherrie. One thing that did not work for me, however, was the threesome with Ken, Sherrie and Nick. That felt forced, rushed and emotionless. Epic effort, 5***** to you!

you sir are a master at erotic story telling.

i only have two comments.

1 the gang bang in the team buss was a bit much.

2 although some anal sex is ok for the story line, i personally am not turned on a by it.

fortunately, there isnt an overwhelming amount.

Very interesting scenario, good writing. My only fault is that you mixed up the characters too many times. Sherrie is sucking Ken, and you have Susan releasing his soft cock??? etc. Susan was at her and Nicks apartment.. Some places you have too many females going at once. All and all very interesting.

This Episode Really turn me off.sorry.

The chapter started off great but by the time you reached the end of it, turned into a snore fest.

At the top of page 11, during the three-way with Sherrie/Sherry, you started the paragraph by adding Susan into the mix and spelling Sherrie as Sherry. Those little typos can confuse and interrupt your narrative. Please be careful to have someone else proof read your text with fresh eyes. I love the story overall and would never have the imagination to come up with it myself. Thanks for your effort.

"and your mother. And my mother, for that matter. Now, can we all just get some sleep?"

Wonderful. The worst part is that I can't tell people why this is so funny.

Over all I enjoyed the story. You employed some very interesting plot lines and characters. My one objection is near the end you got so wrapped up in fucking you forgot to tend to the story. At times it just became boring. Did not stop me from reading, but.......

Overall I’m loving the series, but there were stages where it was non stop fucking and it a little overboard. A couple of time your names were mixed up and in stead of having sherrie sucking him off in the 3some it was Susan.

I just went through the first four chapters and this story is the best I've read in a while. Wished the scene with Danae and the football team would have been longer, but it was really hot nontheless. I love the drama, the sex, and everything about it in general. Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful piece of erotica!

Absolutely sucking fucking wonderful, totally blissed up sex, with these sex crazed cunts. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc’s UK.

Again, I read some of the other comments before making this post.

While I am enjoying ALL the goings-on here, I have to say that the best part of the whole story is the LOVE BETWEEN SUSAN AND NICK, brother and sister; and, now that Mom has come to accept the relationship, the three of them.

When I read these stories, and the EMOTIONAL attachment comes to the forefront, the author(s) really grab my attention!! I have had feelings like this for years, except my mother and sister were so oblivious to anything else, I was left out of their feelings...they will NEVER know because they chose to disregard me and my feelings for them. Their loss, and mine, unfortunately!!

Ready to move to Chapter 5, see where this continues to!! YYUYAAAAYYYY!!!!!D

Good job; thanks for sharing your work!

Seems like a natural ending to the story. Glad it continues and I look forward to the progression.

I like how the transmitter is in the open. I like 'hey hey you you' thrown in there. Makes it seem real and it's cute. Also glad Nichole is gone. She could easily become the new antagonist.

5/5

Nato_