Never Judge a Book by Its Cover

He nodded. "I understand. But there's one other thing I have to ask about." He hesitated. I could see the struggle in him. He still loved his daughter deeply. He was proud of her, but he was ashamed of what she had done. It had to be tearing him apart. Yet, here he was, trying to salvage what he could from the situation, doing what he could to help her.

"Go ahead," I allowed.

"She's terrified of these DVDs. Her career is all she has and they could destroy it. She's afraid you're going to do what you threatened her with when you threw her out."

"I didn't threaten her with anything. I told her what was going to happen if she did anything to try to get back at me." I looked down to see that the Reverend was listening attentively. His expression was completely neutral; no anger, no judgment, just listening.

"I won't do anything unless she does something first. But I will retaliate. I won't hesitate, and I'll do exactly what I told her I would, at a minimum."

"So, what do I tell her? That you still love her but you don't want anything to do with her. That you won't hurt her unless she tries to hurt you?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "You have a lot more experience with situations like this than I do. You know what you can and can't tell her. Just don't say anything that will hurt her. I don't want to do that."

"Anything I say is going to hurt her. I can take some of the sting out of it, but it's still going to hurt her."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but I don't exactly have a lot of options, either. I don't want her back. I'm not going to return to her."

The Pastor sighed, then stood up. He offered his hand. I took it and we shook firmly. "Well, thanks for talking with me. You take care of yourself. Heal well and get out of here soon."

I nodded and gave him a slight smile. "Thanks for visiting, dad. If you get the chance, come by again. I enjoy talking with you."

- - - - - - - - - -

A couple days later, I heard a knock at the door. Looking up, I saw a young female Ensign standing there. She looked at me and asked, "Mr. McConnell?"

"Yep," I nodded. "How can I help you, Ensign?"

She came in and approached the bed. "Sir, Captain Gilmore has to give a speech at the Naval Law School graduation next week. I have a speech prepared, but I'd like some help with it. The Captain told me that you are Admiral Case's speech writer and that you might be willing to help me."

I pointed to the chair next to the bed. "Have a seat. Let's see what we can do. Did you bring a copy of the speech?"

She reached into her attaché case and produced the speech. Handing it to me, she revealed, "The speech has all the information it needs, and it covers the topics the Captain wants, but it's awfully dry. I'm afraid it's going to bore the class to death."

I smiled at that and started reading. The speech was impressive. It was dry but it covered all the ground she had indicated. I'm not a lawyer, but the speech sounded reasonable. It was probably more than good enough.

"This is a good speech. Did you write this?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm. Too bad you're a JAG officer. I'd like to have you working for me." I saw her blush and continued. "Okay, this isn't a hard fix. Let's get to work on it."

We worked throughout the remainder of the afternoon. When we finished, she was very happy with it. We'd added a few jokes and toned down some of the legalese. It was a lot less technical and would suit a more general audience.

She thanked me as she rose to leave. At the door, she turned around. "Lieutenant, are you going to be here awhile?"

"It sure looks that way. Once these injuries settle down a bit, I have to go through physical therapy before they're going to release me."

"Would it be alright if I visited you again?"

I grinned at her, chuckling. "I would like that very much. Let me know how that speech goes over."

About a week later, I was surprised to see Pastor Fischer again. He told me that Naomi had contracted with a local transfer company to move the remainder of her belongings. I gave him all the information he would need to get into the storage facility and into the actual storage unit. We talked for nearly an hour, after which he needed to leave. He asked again if I wouldn't give her another chance. My answer didn't change.

The legal officer did return. She told me that the speech had gone over smashingly, and that Captain Gilmore had been very happy with it. She couldn't thank me enough. I had to stop her, telling her that I enjoyed speech writing and that it was fun working with her.

I found that her name was Leah Hardin. She was a pretty girl, although not as pretty as Naomi. Her face was a bit too narrow and too severe. She complained that her lips were too thin. I hadn't noticed. Other than that, though, she was stunning. Probably about 5'8", slender but well proportioned, with gorgeous strawberry blonde hair. She was a runner, and she played basketball and volleyball. I loved listening to her stories. She was delightful.

My physical condition was starting to concern me, so I looked at her and asked, "Leah, by the time I get out of here, I'm going to be in lousy physical condition. Can I hire you to be my personal trainer?"

She regarded me with a curious expression, her head tilted to the left. Her eyes were clouded and narrowed. After a minute or so, she answered. "No, sir, you can't."

That wasn't a surprising answer, but it was disappointing. I sighed and nodded my understanding. "Okay. Well, I wanted to ask."

Leah chuckled. "I'll be happy to be your personal trainer, sir, but I won't let you pay me. It will be fun having a training partner."

I smiled broadly, surprised and delighted. "You will? Thank you so much. And Leah, it's Andy, not sir."

She smiled at me. "It might take me a bit to get used to that, but I think I'll like it. I need to get you out of here as soon as possible."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

They released me from the hospital about two months later, tacking on a month of convalescent leave. Leah drove me back to my apartment and helped me get situated. She even came in with a couple of friends to clean the place.

I was supposed to take it easy for a month, but Leah didn't see it that way. My training started immediately. Due to her work schedule, it was largely evenings and weekends. Okay by me. I got to sleep in during the week while I was trying to get back to a normal routine.

She started me with light weights and walks. I was surprised by how fast my leg strength returned. The leg still hurt, but the muscles recovered fairly quickly. My cardio endurance was another matter. It was two weeks before I even tried to start running. Once I started, however, that came back quickly, too.

We met for lunch frequently. Initially, it was strictly business. We discussed my progress, changes in the training regimen, and the almost constant need to reassure me that I was making progress. It was just too slow for me, and I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

Once I went back to work, our training was strictly on weekends. I was into the routine enough to be able to train on my own with the Universal Weight Machine at the command. Weights on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, running on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

It was at this point that my attorney called and told me that our divorce hearing had been scheduled for the following week. As Naomi wasn't contesting it, we would meet in the judge's chambers rather than a courtroom.

Things went smoothly, or they would have if Naomi's attorney hadn't used a stream of juvenile motions and objections to try to change the very obvious outcome of the hearing. Finally, the judge had heard enough.

"Counselor," he began, "I realize that you are trying to do the best you can for your client, but these tactics are beneath you. You know very well that evidentiary rules do not apply to a civil hearing. This video footage was obtained in a public pool and the defendant was not under duress. Your motion to suppress the evidence is denied. Further, if you delay this proceeding any further with these specious motions, I will find you in contempt. Is that clear?"

The attorney nodded contritely and the hearing continued.

As Naomi was making considerably more money than I did, there was no requirement for me to provide maintenance. Considering the nature of the evidence, the judge advised her attorney that she would do well to simply listen and accept the court's judgment. Then he turned to me.

"Mr McConnell, what do you want as a result of this action?"

I sighed, already feeling lousy about this. After a moment, I replied, "I want her out of my life, your honor. That's all." I didn't want to say anything else. I wasn't sure I could hide the catch in my voice.

"Do you want a complete no contact order?"

I thought about that for a minute, then shook my head. "No, your honor. I don't want her in my life, but if she really needs me, I want her to be able to contact me. Can you do that?" I noticed that my attorney glanced at her attorney and shrugged. Naomi's attorney just shook his head.

The judge lowered his chin to his crossed arms and then sighed. His eyes became unfocussed momentarily, then he nodded. "Yes, we can. I can issue a limited no-contact order, prohibiting direct contact but allowing contact by phone, internet, or mail. Would that be satisfactory?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Very well. I will issue a permanent limited no-contact order. Ms McConnell, you must understand that if you violate this order in any way, if you do anything that can be remotely construed as any form of harassment, you will be arrested and imprisoned for violating this order. Do you understand that?"

Naomi nodded. It was obvious that she was on the verge of crying. I was feeling sick. "Yes, your honor, I understand. Your honor, when does this divorce become effective?"

"You will be divorced the moment I sign the order, which will happen today. The divorce will become final in thirty days unless you choose to challenge this decision. I cannot impress on you strongly enough how foolish that would be. Because of the nature of your profession and of the evidence, I am going to order these proceedings sealed. However, if you challenge, everything involved in this action will become public record. I don't think I need to remind you of the media circus it would create."

The judge sat quietly for a few moments, then turned to the court recorder. "Denise, my next few comments are to be off the record. I'll let you know when to continue the transcription."

He waited for the stenographer to turn off her machine, then turned to us. "I have watched this procedure throughout the afternoon. It is obvious that you are still in love with each other. However, Ms McCormick, your actions were abhorrent in the extreme. I can fully understand why your husband wants to be free of you. I strongly recommend that you seek out the services of a professional counselor. Your actions are very much reminiscent of a drug addict, with your drug of choice being sex. I believe that you are a better person that this, but you're going to have to do the work to get back to that better person. From what I have seen and heard this day, the results of this hearing are not disappointing, they are tragic. I extend my condolences to both of you and my fervent wishes for a better future."

He reached for the cup of water on his desk and took a drink. "Denise, you way continue now." Waiting for the stenographer to this time turn her machine on, he concluded. "The findings of the court are effective immediately and will become final in thirty days. You will both receive copies of the minutes of this hearing at that time. These proceedings are hereby declared closed."

- - - - - - - - - -

Leah and I continued to meet for lunch. Inevitably, it became social and then personal. Fortunately, we were attached to separate commands, so the rules against fraternization didn't come into play. She introduced me to her daughter, Cynthia. She didn't use that name very often. The precocious twelve-year-old's nickname was 'Bear'. When she heard 'Cynthia', she knew she was in trouble.

I could see that she was going to be a different kind of trouble eventually. She looked just like her mother. I warned Leah to get a real big stick.

Bear was the product of an abusive marriage. Leah had married young and become pregnant immediately. Her husband was an alcoholic, abusive both physically and emotionally, although he had managed to conceal it while they were dating. Leah finally divorced him when the bastard got himself arrested and imprisoned for molesting a neighbor's underage daughter.

As I got into better shape, Leah had me start meeting her at her apartment. She took me on short cross-country runs, usually three to five miles. Slowly, she was able to build back up to her normal running speed with me staying with her.

Then came the day that I got silly. For whatever reason, I decided to turn on the afterburners, sprinting the last hundred yards. It turned into a full-fledged race. With the head start I'd given myself, I managed to just beat her.

"You cheated," she scolded. I just laughed.

Bear was spending the weekend at a friend's house, so it was just us. Leah told me to go ahead and shower first. I grabbed my gym bag and headed for the bathroom.

The shower felt great after a really taxing run. I just stood there and let the hot water run over me. It startled me when the shower door opened and Leah stepped in. She grabbed a scrunchie and a bottle of bodywash and proceeded to soap me down thoroughly. Then she handed me the scrunchie. It was obvious what she wanted me to do with it.

We had just rinsed each other off with the handheld shower head when she looped her arms around my neck. Her kiss was delicious, and the sensation of that fantastic body pressed against mine was incredible. I hadn't been with a woman since my last romantic encounter with Naomi, and this was one hell of a woman. My response surprised both of us.

I don't know what I expected, but what she did left me tense and shuddering instantly. She slowly sank to her knees, stroking my cock with her hand. "Leah, please don't," I whispered. I don't think she heard me. When her lips touched my cock, I panicked.

I shoved past her and out of the shower, dropping to my knees at the toilet and vomiting violently. The images that her actions had brought to my mind were hideous. My brain was reeling and my body was paying the price.

In just seconds, Leah's arm draped across my shoulders. "Andy, what's wrong? What did I do?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak. My head shook weakly from side to side. My grip on the porcelain throne stayed solid.

She pulled a towel from the wall rack and dried both of us off. Gently pulling me to my feet, she guided me to her bedroom and eased me into the bed. Making sure that I was comfortable, she drew a sheet over me then sat down beside me. She waited for my breathing to calm and return to normal before asking, "What did I do wrong? Why did you react like that?"

It took several minutes for me to regain control of my thoughts and get the acid taste out of my mouth and throat. Once that happened, I apologized to Leah and proceeded to tell her the story of Naomi. By the time I finished, she had laid down next to me and put her arms around me. She kissed me gently on the cheek and told me to just relax.

I laid in bed the rest of the day. She brought me some soup and Gatorade for dinner. For the first time in months, I held a woman close to me throughout the night. There was no sex. I'm not sure my body was very happy about that.

Inevitably, we became lovers. It was gentle, sweet, and delightful. We both spent the entire time trying to ensure that our partner got the very best out of the encounter. The result was that neither of us was ever disappointed. I can't say when it happened or if it was mutual, but I fell in love with her.

Then came the day that she called and asked if she could come to my apartment after work. I told her I'd be happy if she came over. When she arrived, the alarms started going off in my brain. She had tears in her eyes.

"Andy," she choked out, "I've got orders. I'm going to San Diego."

I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I knew it would happen eventually. We were both naval officers. Transfers came with the territory. It was still brutal. We had two last wonderful months together, and then she was gone.

For nearly a year we talked on the phone almost nightly. We even exchanged the occasional letter. Then, without warning, I called her and was informed that the number I had called was no longer in service. For nearly three months I wrote her constantly but never got a reply. The letters had to be getting through because none of them ever came back. If she had moved, I would have received a notification of a forwarding address. Never got one. Finally, after almost two years, I gave up. This one hurt so badly that I just quit. I had no interest in dating. Unless it was part of my job, I had nothing further to do with women.

It was a couple of months later when my heart jumped into my throat at the apartment mailbox. There was a handwritten envelope addressed to me. Just as quickly, my heart sank as I recognized the return address and Naomi's handwriting.

I wasn't sure I wanted to read anything from her, but my curiosity got the better of me. I was still hurting over Leah and I guess I was still in love with Naomi. When I got inside, I opened the envelope:

- - - - -

' Dearest Andy:

I hope this letter finds you well and happy. I really wanted to do this in person but I'm not allowed to do that.

I want to apologize to you. What I did to you was horrible and there's no way that I can make up for it. But I am sorry, terribly sorry. Andy, I still love you, but I know that doesn't matter now. Only, please, please, find some way to forgive me. It would kill me to find out that you hate me.

I also want to thank you. After our divorce hearing, I talked to mom and dad. They found me a clinical psychologist, and I've been in counseling ever since. It's slow, but I'm coming around. The psychologist told me that I was an addict but that I am getting free of it. Thank you for a brutal but needed wake up call.

Andy, I know we can never be together again, and it hurts to know that it's my fault. But I want you to know that if you ever need me, I'll be here for you. If you ever feel like it, please give me a call or text me or send me an e-mail. It would mean the world to me to hear from you.

Let me know if I can do anything at all for you. I love you.

Forever yours,

Naomi '

- - - - -

I read that letter three times, then set it on the end table. Without Leah, I was sorely tempted to take Naomi back. My heart was begging me to take the chance. My brain was telling me that doing so would be absurdly stupid. My brain won.

Walking into the kitchen, I pulled a bottle of Scotch out of the cabinet. Returning to the living room and turning on the television, I got blissfully plastered.

- - - - - - - - - -

Shortly thereafter, I made Lieutenant Commander and transferred to New Orleans. I never did contact Naomi and, after the move, there didn't seem to be much point in it. That brought me back to the chair in the XO's office.

"Andy, you just got here, didn't you?"

"Not really, sir," I acknowledged. "I'm due to rotate next year."

The Captain pursed his lips, staring at the paper in his hands. He looked up at me. "Do you know Admiral Case?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir. I was his aide at the Safety Center."

"You don't rate dolphins, do you?"

"No, sir. I'm surface warfare."

"Well, you're going back to Norfolk. You have orders to ComSubLant. Admiral Case has requested you as his aide."