New Beginnings

It's been a year, and the year isn't even over. Fuck.

The COVID-19 pandemic brought the entire world basically to a halt and for me, it was excruciating. Working as a nurse at a public hospital in this current pandemic is really exhausting. You actively see people suffer from the virus every single day and you worry about your patients contracting the virus, possibly more than catching it yourself. Surgery centers are now transformed into COVID centers since elective surgeries are for the most part cancelled and having to navigate this virus while working in an epicentre gets really stressful. I love my job but hospitals aren't exactly what they used to be and while it's inevitable - given the context of the pandemic - it is daunting. Add your singleness to those worries and it gets tiresome. Fuck,

COVID-19 actually soured my plans. I'd been single for six years. When I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on me with a friend of mine, I ended both relationships. I did the work to get over it; I took the time to heal my broken heart and to reconnect with myself. After being single for such a long time, and despite living a pretty full life - a great career, great friends and a sense of stability - I found myself going through lonely periods more often than I care to admit. They were always short-lived but they were still debilitating. One of my new year's resolutions was just to date more, find someone to love and care for and as shallow as it may be, I decided to have sex again. Because not only had I been single, I'd also been celibate. It began as a personal choice; I wanted to commune with myself but after time, you get comfortable. I want to have someone to call at the end of the day, to come home to. Sure, I have my friends and my family who I love with every fibre of my being but it's not the same. There's a different type of emotion that I needed, that I craved. And it was hard finding it.

My friends tried to set me up with other queer men and I tried the apps but I wasn't getting the type of connection that I craved. And maybe that was my fault; maybe I was expecting too much out of the process. At 32 years old, I was skeptical, cynical even, of the apps despite having been on them, and none of my friends' set-ups gave me any time of connection, sexual or otherwise. As the country locked down and we were all encouraged not to gather, I began masturbating more often to relieve my sexual tension. This only caused my sexual appetite to grow. And being a nurse, I know the risks of porn-fueled masturbation sessions but damnit, having to be sequestered indoors because of this damn virus, I was masturbating a lot more.

I'd been on Tik Tok for some time. I wasn't famous by any means, nor did I have intentions of being famous or an influencer; it was just something I used to pass the time. I'd gotten a few follows and likes from people who I didn't know. And that's where I found him.

Alex had followed me sometime in May and I followed back, mostly because I found him adorably cute. We'd interacted on each other's posts, liking and commenting. I worked up the courage to DM him by July after he posted a cute video and we began talking. Pretty soon, we exchanged numbers and began talking on the phone as regular as our lives allowed. He worked a 9 to 5, I didn't. He understood this. People often don't understand the demands of my job, aside from saving lives. Long hours leave us will little to no time for leisure or other activities. Especially now, with the pandemic, doctors, nurses and healthcare professionals were overworked.

The queer community in Trinidad was small; the dating pool was even smaller. Alex was very much different to me and to people I'd dated before. Trinidad was so diverse that our racial differences didn't matter to either of us. I was Afro-Trinidadian, Alex was Indo-Trinidadian. He was three years my junior and worked at a Law firm as an IT technician. I'd listened to him talk about his job extensively with pride. He lived about an hour south of me but Trinidad was really too small to consider much places as "far". As time went on, I found myself becoming more interested in him, romantically.

Our conversations got deeper. I'd let him know about my sexual orientation, as you could never be too sure here how people would react. I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me that he was gay, too. We talked about our past relationships. Alex had been single for a little over a year. He'd finished his MBA and his partner, at the time, went abroad to study. They knew that their relationship wouldn't work long-distance so they ended things.

It was now October. Restrictions had been eased considerably and while beaches, dine-in restaurants and bars were still closed, we were free to move about. I worked up the nerve to ask Alex to go to the park with me. The nurse in me was fearful of this, especially since it would take extra precaution to ensure our safety in a space that's not familiar. But Alex was down to meet up and I was excited. We met and I fell in love at first sight.

Alex looked even better in person. He stood slightly shorter than my 6'1" and was leaner in person. His hair fell in waves, framing his face nicely. His brown skin was unmarked by blemishes, only holding the lightest dusting of freckles and a flat mole under his left eye. We were sure to be safe about our movements, sitting two swings apart on the swing-set, maintaining a 6-foot distance and we both wore masks, only removing them to eat the ice cream we purchased at the nearby ice cream shop. He had the most gorgeous smile, dimples indenting his cheeks. Alex was...gorgeous.

Weeks later, I'd invited him to have dinner at my apartment. We'd already talked about being COVID tested recently and negative so I saw it as no big deal to invite him to my home. Plus, cooking was one of my hobbies and not to toot my own horn but I could throw down in the kitchen. I was happy when he accepted the offer. We'd planned for that coming Saturday, since I had the weekend off. I was nervous. I wasn't planning on doing anything with him besides eating dinner and talking; I was taking this at his pace. Did I want to make him comfortable? Of course. Did I want to pin him to the bed and fuck him into next week? Absolutely. But I would feel so bad if things got bad between us because I really liked him.

I was wrapping up in the kitchen when my phone dinged, signalling a message. Alex texted that he was 5 minutes out. I ran to my bedroom and did one final spritz of cologne, then opened the door to greet him. I watched his car pull up to my front gate and my nerves shot up again. Why was I so nervous? I smiled as he parked in my driveway and got out of the car, walking up to me. He gave me a small wave and I smiled harder. We hugged and I ushered him inside.

"Your home is dope," he said, looking around as he took his shoes off. He placed them on the mat at the end of the doorjamb, a precautionary measure that I'd adopted to help prevent cross-contamination at home.

"Thanks," I said, blushing. My home was modest. I'd made enough at the hospital to comfortably afford the mortgage to purchase this townhouse. Two bedrooms and two full bathrooms upstairs and a half bath on the ground floor with a fairly nice-sized backyard and close to the mall and other amenities. "If you'd like to wash your hands, there's a bathroom down the hall to the right. Walk outside to the back when you're through, I'm gonna set the table."

"Thanks," he said and made his way. I'd set up two place settings on the patio furniture outside for us to eat. One of the benefits of living in the tropics is that the weather was almost usually perfect for outdoor dining. I lit a candle and brought the food from the kitchen. Chicken alfredo with a side salad and garlic bread. Alex came outside as I popped open the bottle of wine. "Oh this looks so good!" he said, eyeing the food. "You made this?"

"Benefits of living alone, you get time to experiment," I replied, smiling. "Wine?" I asked holding up the bottle.

"Please," he said, sitting. He unfolded the napkin and placed it over his lap while I poured. We ate and talked for hours. We moved the things inside for a cozier time. The dishes made it to the sink and we opened another bottle of wine as we lounged on the couch. "So tell me, Elliot," Alex said, shifting his left leg under his right thigh, "why are you single?"

I chuckled and looked at my wine glass. "I honestly, truly don't know."

"I mean you're a catch," he said. I blushed. "I mean it! You're smart, kind, caring, hella cute and you cook a mean meal."

I laughed. "Maybe my standards are too high," I replied, looking into his eyes. "Maybe I'm the problem." Silence punctuated the conversation for a few seconds and I'd hoped he caught the reference. We both smiled and said "no," laughing at the Tik Tok reference. "What about you?" I asked.

"I don't know," Alex said, taking a sip of wine. "Maybe I'm waiting for a cute nurse to kiss me." I looked at him and he stared me dead in the eye as he sipped again. I felt my dick stir in my jeans as blood rushed, making me hard. I really wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do more but I didn't want to pressure him. He took the wine glass from my hand and placed both on the coffee table in front of us and came over to me, closing the distance between us. He took my face in his hands. "I'm going to kiss you now."

His lips touched mine and it was like the world stopped. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't feel anything other than Alex's lips on mine. Alex shifted and moved on top of me, straddling my thighs, wrapping his hands around my neck. My hands found his waist and I pulled him closer to me, trying to fuse our bodies. Alex ground his hips against me, our hard, clothed dicks rubbing together. My hands moved up his back as our kiss deepened, the intensity of our passion engulfing us both. I moaned into him, his mouth opening to allow my tongue to invade his mouth. Everything happening at this moment right here was all my mind could focus on.

Our hands roamed each other's clothed bodies; Alex's hands found my chest, pinching and rubbing my nipples. I rested my hands on his ample behind, squeezing the soft mounds. Between the touches and the intense kisses, I was in glee. I was also incredibly horny, so horny that I broke the kissing and heavy petting for a moment to catch my breath. "I almost came in my pants," I said, my breath heavy and ragged.

"I like knowing that I affect you so much," Alex grinned. "I can use it as a bargaining chip."

I smiled and took his face in my hand, stroking it. "Alex, I need to know what you want from me," I said, searching deep into his eyes. "You know my sordid history and if I'm confusing the situation here, I need to know. I can't go through that again."

"Here's what I know, Elliot," Alex said, kissing me. "I really like you. And I want to see where this goes. But I would be lying to myself and to you if I did not admit that I want to fuck you into next week right now." He reached in between us and caressed my throbbing dick. "I'm not out here to hurt you or myself so I'm not leading you on. I want your dick, but I also want you. So how about you lead me to your bedroom and we just think about tonight? We can handle the future after we're done."

I was impressed by his directness. And if I was honest, it turned me the fuck on. I grabbed his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Our tongues wrestled and I slapped his clothed ass. He broke the kiss, standing up. I got up and grabbed his hand, pulling him upstairs to my bedroom. We got to my bedroom and I pulled him in for a kiss. Our hands searched each other, frantic to shed every piece of clothing.

I pulled my t-shirt over my head and he did the same. I admired his lithe body - his caramel coloured skin, his dark nipples the size of a quarter standing firm, his stomach taut probably from working out. He was just beautiful. He knelt in front of me, unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my jeans and pulled my pants and underwear down in one swoop. My hard dick sprang free, bouncing as the cool air kissed my skin. He kissed the head of my dick as I lifted my legs, stepping out of my pants and underwear. I moaned as his wet mouth enveloped my dick and he rolled my balls in his hand. Standing at 8 inches hard, I knew that it might have been tough but he sure knew what he was doing. I caressed his head, looking down at him. He looked so beautiful with my dick in his mouth, his brown eyes staring at me as my hardness invaded his oral cavity. His hand snaked up my torso, rubbing my chest and stomach. His tongue brushed the underside of my dick and my legs shook. His hands rested on my thighs as he sucked my cock and I played with both of my nipples. "Fuck, that feels so good," I breathed as he moaned around my dick, his saliva coating my dick. He pulled my dick out of his mouth, slapping my dick on his outstretched tongue.

"You taste so good, Elliot." Alex swallowed my dick again.

"Yeah, suck that dick," I said, holding onto his head, thrusting slowly into his mouth. "Fuck." I bent down and tilted his chin to me, kissing him. He stood up and we kissed passionately. It was time for me to return the favour. I kissed down his torso, unhooking his belt and pulling his pants and underwear down. I marvelled and the penis before me. Alex was a little smaller than I was in length, measuring about 7, maybe 7 and a half, but he sure beat me back in thickness. His dick was almost beer can thick, the head glistening from a drop of precum. My mouth salivated; I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to taste him.

I took his dick into my hand and put him in my mouth. I tasted the saltiness of his precum and I moaned. Alex threw his head back, his hand grabbing onto my head. "Fuck, Elliot...fuck yeah..." I sucked and sucked, swirling my tongue around the head. He tasted so good. His other hand grabbed onto my head and he began thrusting into my mouth, fucking my face. I gagged as his dick reached my throat, having been out of practice for so long. He withdrew from my mouth and I focused on his smooth balls.

I pulled him out of my mouth after a few minutes and stood up. Our kiss intensified, our moans grew louder. In seconds, our bodies were soaked in sweat, the throes of passion radiating from our bodies sending heat waves all around us. Our naked bodies crashed as we kissed, our hard dicks rubbing against each other. He was coating my dick with a steady stream of precum and I used it to jerk us both off. I turned us around, sending us to the bed. I pushed him down and raised his legs. "I want to taste that hole," I said. He grabbed behind his knees and held his legs in the air, exposing his glory to me.

The dark flesh of his hole beckoned me, inviting me to taste him. I kissed the mounds of his ass and inched closer to his hole. I kissed his hole and swirled my tongue around the entrance, licking all the way up his crack, his taint and his dick till I took him in my mouth again. "Fuck, Elliot! Eat me!" I took his dick out of my mouth and began to devour his hole. I licked in and around his hole, watching him squirm in front of me. I could tell that he took a lot of time to clean himself out; I appreciated it and I showed my appreciation by parting his ass cheeks and driving my tongue deeper inside of him. He moaned aloud as I tongue fucked him, his legs shaking. I slapped his ass as I licked his hole, preparing it for my hungry dick.

I stood and passed my dick over his hole as he kept his legs raised. Up and down, over his hole multiple times. It was tempting to not shove my hard dick inside him right then and there. I spit onto his hole and rubbed it in with my dick. "You have a beautiful hole," I said, leaning over between his legs, my dick still perched on his crack, and kissed him. I kissed his earlobe, nibbling on it for a moment.

I slapped my dick on his hole. "Don't move," I commanded. I reached across on my bedside table, pulled the drawer and pulled out my bottle of lube and two condoms. I threw one pack on the tabletop and ripped the other with my teeth. I put the condom on and squirted a generous amount of lube onto his hole and my sheathed dick. I positioned myself against his entrance and pushed inside him ever so slowly.

His face betrayed every ounce of lust. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and his chest heaved as I entered him. He moaned as I felt the pop of his sphincter stretching, signalling that the head of my cock was inside him. Alex moaned as I pushed into him slowly, trying not to hurt him. "Elliot...fuck" he moaned. I grabbed his feet and he grabbed onto his dick, jerking slowly. "Fuck me, Elliot. Fuck my hole," he moaned, his voice filled with lust and sex.

Soon enough, I was buried deep inside him. I leaned in and kissed him, thrusting my hips and increasing my pace slightly. He wrapped his hands around my neck and his legs around my waist as I sawed into him. "You like this dick?" I groaned into his ear. He moaned. "I can't hear you, boy," I growled.

"I love your dick, Elliot. I want all of it!" He moaned. I thrust into him, driving my dick deep inside him. God, this felt so good! HE felt so good. Alex's ass was warm, tight enough and not loose at all. The sex was fire and I was ready to turn it up a notch.

I slowed my pace and thrust into him, holding it in place every few strokes. "I want you to fuck me, Alex." There was a look of bewilderment on his face. I could tell he was confused but excited. "Do you want to fuck me?" I asked.

"Of course," he said as I withdrew from his hole. "I was just under the impression that you were a top, from your dominance."

I pulled the condom off and threw it in the trash can off the side table. "I like being dominant. But I'm also versatile," I said, picking up the lube and the extra condom and threw it to him. "And I can't wait to make you mine."

He smiled and I kissed him. I knelt on my hands and knees, preparing myself to welcome him. His hands grabbed my ass, squeezing. "You have a gorgeous ass, Elliot," Alex said. Then he whispered in my ear, "I'm going to give you so much pleasure. I'm gonna fuck your pretty little hole until you nut all over me." I felt pressure at the ring; his finger was circling it. Then I felt his tongue licking around the ring of my hole and then he inserted it. I wanted more, so I pushed back onto his tongue. His hands squeezed and caressed my ass as his tongue dove into me, sending jolts of pleasure through me. I'd been rimmed before but what I felt in this moment was indescribable. Otherworldly. I threw my head back and closed my eyes, focusing on the waves of pleasure coursing through my body.

I was wanton with lust. His tongue was like magic, touching parts inside of me that I never knew existed. I never dreamed that sex would feel this good. All I wanted was for this to be pleasurable for us both. I wanted - needed - him inside of me. I needed him to slide is hardness into me and take me to places I haven't visited in years. "Are you ready for me?" he asked huskily. I felt him squirt lube only my hole. I look back at him, watching as he put on the condom. Not because I didn't trust that he would; I just found him preparing to enter me incredibly erotic. He positioned himself and entered me slowly.

I cringed from the initial pain. It's been years, after all. "Are you okay?" Alex asked. I didn't have words so I nodded my head and moaned. I felt every inch as Alex slid into me. I felt myself accommodating to get accustomed to his size. The waves of passion hit me again just as I felt his trimmed pubic hair graze my ass and I shuddered. He was all the way inside. "You are so fucking tight!"

Alex grabbed onto my chest, laid on my back and began thrusting in and out of me. "Alex..." I moaned. He kissed the center of my back as he thrust in and out of me. "Fuck me, Alex. Fuck me!" He quickened his pace. Each time his dick passed my prostate, it felt like fireworks were exploding in my brain. All I saw were stars and stripes. I spread my legs wider and he grabbed my hips. I threw my ass back to meet his thrusts. "Bounce, baby," he moaned. "Bounce on my dick!"