All Comments on 'New Business, Old Business Ch. 02'

Chapter 1 of this story started off nicely but I soon had a problem with the time line. The problem started when Sandy told Bill why she was going out and what time she would be home.

From the story:

"I heard her walk toward the den. She stopped at the door. I looked up at her. She looked at me, "I thought I told you all about this last week. We are just going out to a meeting for a amateur theater play."

"Have fun! I really don't think you mentioned it though. Kiss your date for me."

"What?"

"Just enjoy your self. What time will you be home?"

"About ten thirty or eleven."

It was one thirty before I heard her come in. I was still in the den.

*****

She told him she was going to a meeting for a amateur theater play. Saying that she would be home by 10:30 or 11:00 made sense although 11:00 sounded late for the end of a meeting. She didn't get home until 1:30 AM. Two and a half hours late.

*****

From the story again:

"I have been going crazy trying to find a way to get rid of him. Friday night I told him I would meet him for fifteen minutes after the theater meeting. He had had a few drinks and insisted I fuck him or give him a blow job. I told him I wouldn't and he got very angry and said he was going to call you. I ran off and came home."

*****

Sandy claims that she agreed to meet Frank for 15 minutes and that they had an argument and she ran home. If she only meet with Frank long enough to tell him she wouldn't have sex with him and then went home she should have been home sometime between 11:00 and 11:30. So was she more than two hour later getting home?

That left me feeling that she had told Bill a big lie but as of the end of the second chapter I haven't seen any explanation of the missing time. Bill is supposed to be a detective but he never question her about the extra two hours.

After that the story started getting interesting again. Trying to figure out if Sandy was up to something behind Bill's back and then the shooting kept my interest. But then the author decides to explain away Sandy's actions with the dumbest excuse imaginable.

****

From the story:

"She is a psychiatrist, I had some issues in my life I need help with and she was very helpful."

"Will you tell me what the issues were or are?"

"Yes, please be patient with me. This is hard for me to do. I know you need to know these things but I have been scared to tell you. It is about Frank Scroggins and I. Dr. Haughton was able to discover that Frank had had me hypnotized for years. I remember now that it started when we were dating. I am unable to remember all the things he made me do with him. I guess he always knew I was available to him whenever he wanted me. I would be free from him when he left for a few years.

Then he would call me and I was under his spell again. Dr. Haughton says there were probably lots of things he could never get me to do because they were against my core beliefs. I believe I was true to you except for the things I told you about already.

I began to be able to resist him. He didn't like that at all. He tried to hypnotize me again but I wouldn't do what he wanted. I feel so ashamed of what I did. I let you down and I hate myself for that."

I took her in my arms and assured her that I wasn't angry and that I loved her with all my heart. I told her that this information explained a lot of things that had bothered me.

*****

Are we supposed to buy the idea that some jerk from Sandy's past has the ability to hypnotize her and make the spell he has over her last for years. Professional hypnotists that use their trade to help people quit smoking don't have that kind of long term success.

I hope the author gives us something in the next chapter that can tie up these loose ends. It is not a bad story and I could overlook the problem with the two hours but the hypnosis thing jsut doesn't work for me and distracts from the whole story.

It was going great until I got to the word 'hypnotized'. Then it became to cheesy to continue.

Chapter 1 showed a lot of promise, but this chapter just wandered around. The whole thing with Frank didn't make any sense, and nothing ever tied back to her saying:

"Yes I really mean that. Here I had the most wonderful man in the whole world and I cheated on him."

"Frank dear, compared to him, you ARE dog shit. I don't want to hurt you feelings but you don't compare in any way. Most certainly not as a man or as a lover. I was totally crazy. I don't understand it at all."

Sounds a lot more that a hand job. Also she never told him about the hypnotism... why wouldn't she - it woulde make her less liable for her actions, and she could have stopped Frank in his tracks!

All in all, chapter 1 was much better and promised a really good story.

DJ

next chapter take care of the loose ends.i like your story and keep writing .

Sorry but I don't search a story for 'clues',I just read to enjoy ,and I enjoyed this story.

thing didn't fit together real well bit it was a good story

thing didn't fit together real well bit it was a good story

They say,"behind every good man is a good woman, and behind every good woman is a good man." After reading this story, I am a true believer and a hopeless romantic.

That part just isn't believable in what is a well written story. Any hypnocist will tell you that even under ideal conditions you can't get someone to do what isn't in their basic belief system. I think you are setting us up:>) You know that the time line and the hypnosis story isn't adding up, and the fact that his wife is cagey and super intelligent tells us that she is aware of her husband's snooping. She did the dirty and is trying to cover her tracks. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Don't you guys picking the story apart remember she is a genius level IQ?

Look at the hints. She knows what her husband does for a living and how to handle him, she tells her lover "not yet", she says she will kill for what she wants, and does... She is playing the situation like a violin. You don't think she set up the shooting and killing of her lover?

There is more to this and when she is certain it's OK, she will be active at her next step.

Enjoyed the story the people and just was totally into the whole read.

Thanks for a great story

Didn't know where this one was going to end up after Ch 01. Good job dealing with the perp.

As commented by K.K. are we supposed to buy this "I was hypnotized by Frank" excuse? K.K. identified a 2 hour gap in her "confession" about her night out. Let's list some facts:

>She has genius IQ and she likes to outthink people.

>She knew that her husband was a trained investigator.

>She found out about the bugs but never confronted her

husband.

>She knew that her husband did not trust her.

> Note the questions in brackets[] to the following quote:

Start of Quote

I heard Sandy's vehicle stop outside and heard the door shut. [Why did Sandy meet Frank and bring him back to her home?] I heard loud voices and hurried to the window. I saw Sandy struggling with a man. [Why this scene with Frank now?] I ran for the door. I recognized Frank Scroggins. Sandy pulled away from him. She turned and threw herself into my chest. I heard and saw the two shots from the gun he held. Sandy slumped to the ground. He stared at her [Was Frank surprised about this turn of events?]as I lunged for him ...

End of Quote

It would seem that Sandy set up Frank to restore her husband's faith in her. The next chapter will be interesting.

SleeplessinMD

Grey Eagle:

You are the author. I am the reader. It's as simple as that. Either I like your story and will tell you so or leave it alone if I don't. If I have any criticism to make it will be in private. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Good story. Well written, too.

I can't say I quite understand her relationship with Scroggins. Was he actually hypnotizing her or was there something about him that hypnotized her?

Now, I realize this is the end of good phase in their lives, that has resolved so much for them; But I somehow feel there is more. ?

Looking for the next chapter.

Sandy's one sided conversations and hypnotist ruse is not going to fool Bill.

Sandy has something up her sleeve...and it wasn't handjobs

LOL

like the tension between the women, so i hope more to come.

saw this story and with your new chapter listed this morning im so excited i do love this story and can't wait to read, its so good to see you writing again after submitting so many first then laying off there for a bit. Thanks for letting us read you. respectfully fan in TExas naynay

the mind of a child wrote and reads like three pigs.wife got a ongoing affair for over twenty yrs. and hubby ask are you fucking him.man comes to his house to shoot him and hubby still can't see his nose.a don't want a bodyguard this stupid.

There is no lies about what you can do with Hypnotism you make up a word and use it when you call and then you use that word in taking control its called post hypnotic command its been used in therapy practice to help in fears and other problems .

FANDAMNTASTIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really enjoyed the first chapter. The second one is good

but I have the feeling that I should not read the third one.

It will be outside my parameters for behaviour. I really do like Bill but Sandy worries me.

Five stars. I guess she proved her love.

BUT is she cured??

What more do we have to read??

With Sandy's IQ, I suspect if hypnotism was involved, Sandy was the hypnotist. And Loretta's ongoing role in the story has my curiosity at 'red alert'. I find myself waiting for Bill to discover a deep dark secret about his wife. I suspect that with her IQ, this has been all a playful game for her to prove she can outsmart him at what he excels in. Bring on Chapter 3.

Cop out ending.

Hypnosis? From a high school boyfriend. Seems a little far fetched.

The hell with worrying about “hypnosis”? You end a story with two women talking about “Dresses” ? What the hell is wrong with you?! I thought it was a pretty good story, of course total ‘comic book, fantasy’ type good, but still good. Until the ending. I’m serious, what man wants to hear, or read, about women and their shopping?

I tuck my napkin in my collar, LOL.

I tuck my napkin also..

Just another cuck story.

The reaction upon reading this story is that it makes one want to barf. 2/5

All of the sudden Sandy is a genius and Frank had her hypnotized since they were dating? Neither of those things make sense or fit within the framework of the storyline that was established within the first chapter.

Based on her being so smart & sneaky, as described by their daughters I get the feeling she engineered the confrontation with Frank as her means of proving her loyalty to Bill.

This could have been a good continuation of the story if not for the sudden insertion of her genius level IQ and long term hypnosis. Plus her being overly clingy and insecure really detracted from the story for me.

A romantic fantasy? When rivals meet parry and parle? The games people play? Is that sophisticated or decadent? Are the highly affluent amused by teasing and flirting as social amusement?

A tenth Dan losing control? Um.....NO. Just HELL NO. He would lose his dan and get busted down to 2nd or third dan for that. NO higher dan "LOSES" control.

If Sandy had an IQ of 160+, she would not be able to be hypnotized. Hypnosis isn't specific. If someone was specific, the spouse would EASILY see the difference, especially if the person who was hypnotized was "Activated". Have I mentioned that hypnotizing someone is ILLEGAL without CONSENT? Bad, bad results come from that.

HUGE PLOT HOLES. Sloppy writing. Hopefully, there isn't more of this in the future.

This was ok but faded with the ending as it bring in Loretta for the batsh$t crazy final chapter which was an absolute dud.

Well, at least he karate’s Frank severely.