All Comments on 'New England Triad Ch. 01'

Lots of words but fun to read. How did Ann take it, anyway?

Pretty good, long winded, start. I am assuming this is the first 1/2 of the story? Nice descriptions of emotions.

Overall a wonderful spiritual story. Sometimes a little long winded, but it still worked. Eager to see how he tells Ann and where the three of them end up.

A really great story. Very, very true as you will know if love at first touch has ever entered your life. Good work!

i loved the story and gave it 5 stars. This is how two intellectuals would analyze their affair. i was sorry to see the story end where it ended. Did they get together again? Did Ann ever find out and if she did, how did that go? I really liked the honesty that was apparent with both of them. Great story

Thank you all for the very nice comments. Let me address some of the questions you posed:

This is the first part of a story of at least 6 parts (chapters). Chapter 2 should be published within a week. In it, the affair continues, Stephen tells Ann about the affair, and the two women interact in some interesting ways.

Best,

"Peter Cleveland"

Awesome story

I had to go back and reread this one. Lots of stuff here: humorous asides (bordering on the excessive?), insightful commentary, history, down-to-earth sex (heh), Latin, and rock 'n roll. Not the usual thing. Solid 5 on all fronts.

Good job on thi one, very intelligent, although borders on showing off a bit.

Columbia, Andover, Hebron - New Hampshire? Maine? Connecticut! Route 6 fits. Loved the story. Five stars.

I want to address several items from your story. The first being the following paragraph:

As noted before, everything below Beth's waist was hunky-dory as well. And now, with her naked, I could see that her curly brown pubic hair and curly brown head-hair echoed and complemented each other beautifully. Judging from the Internet, maybe two women in all of North America still had pubic hair, and in ten minutes I could say I was married to one and fucking both of them!

You should adjust your number to at least 4. Both of my exes have never shaved their mons. Of course, I'm totally taking it for granted that they haven't changed their opinions on the matter since we parted ways. But I'm fairly confident that their opinion was pretty much set in stone. I've had girlfriends who shaved and personally I didn't really care for it. I wasn't totally turned off by it, but I did find it very easy to prefer the fur. 😉

The second item is the Browning quote about "all is right with the world." I used that same quote on my second wife right after we made love for the first time. She had asked me how I was feeling and it just fit.

The third item was your line where you questioned whether or not an unmarried woman qualified for the red letter 'A'. I suggest that you pull out your Nathaniel Hawthorne collection and reread the novel. Hester Prynne wasn't married, but her lover was. So the answer is yes, Beth must wear the Scarlet Letter.

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I love a slow burn story. I also tend to get a little overboard on the technical side myself when writing. So please trust me when I tell you that you bored me to tears several times by taking it far deeper than I would have. You need a good editor to help you pare down your work. I could have easily sent about 1/3rd of this chapter to the cutting room floor without hurting the story itself. The extensive dialogue isn't the issue. Having the players go overboard speaking is part of defining their character. But a huge chunk of your narrative was overkill. I gave you a 4/5.

OK, I stopped taking this seriously on page 2, this is clearly an intelligent writer's fantasy, and has zero basis in reality, and ergo I have no interest. I have cycled literally 10s of thousands of miles in many states in the US, and have never, ever encountered a damsel in distress, let alone ended up making out with her- that entire scene was just some guy's masturbation fantasy, as is the rest of this dreck. Ugh.

Excellent start, touching and humerous too.

Onwards to chapter 2...........

Well done.

Enjoyed the story, a little wordy, perhaps, still good. Yes, how will he tell Anne, and how will she react. I had a similar experience (Hiking). Nothing consummated at first until my wife asked, you want to have sex with her don't you. My simple answer, "Yes." My wife said OK but that she would want to join in in the future, probably near future. It happened and lasted for half a decade. We still communicate, with no regrets.