All Comments on 'New Family'

Makes me hard and horny. Nothing better than a fantasy. As a guy there is no better dream

You have the bones of a fun story; however ... slow down and work over the dialogue, it is stilted and awkward. Here's a thought, read the dialogue out loud - take both sides of the conversation - if it sounds strange to you it sure will to the reader, you want it to sound natural and believable. Secondly, tell us a little more about each character so that we readers can understand them more easily and become more invested in your story. Like I said, you've got good bones here, give them some meat ... and keep writing!

Thank you for the advice dragonwriter! This is very helpful as I write more. More meat on the bones, coming up!

The story was working well. Then, as too often is included was the famous 8" dick. I must be the only guy that is ok with 6". I think it is a distraction and red flag that everything that follows is a fantasy.

But there was literally no issues or hesitation at all about anyone being nude, it took no encouragement​ or discussion​. From the beginning everyone was fine with fucking everyone else like it was perfectly normal.

You don't shake your head for yes, you nod. If you use the correct terms the "yes" or "no" isn't necessary. A nod of the head is "yes" and a shake of the head is "no".

Not great writing.

Bad dialogue.

Awkward situational jumps.

Etc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nod_(gesture)

The concurrence of the wife always makes it hotter.

Very well done. Good moods; good attitudes. Please do more.