All Comments on 'New Kahala'

I dont normaly read these long storys, BUT I'm so glad I kept at this one.

A really good read, well thought out, great character profiles and just the right amount of detail for me, the sex was well described and real ( he wasnt a super stud or her a raving sex starved woman) .

I loved "What are the odds?" And I had hoped you would continue the storyline. I'm glad the wifey encouraged you. I think the characters have more to say, and I am hopeful you will be able to tell more of their story, soon.

What happened to Herpes

end of page five, start of page six herpes is mentioned. Try reading.

The story of the relationships is wonderful. 'Strine slang isn't a bother.

I wonder if Kitty will macramé Sassy's two lips for asking for a Jimmy load.

Glad you wrote both stories.

Thanks

Thanks for the follow-up story. Loved the characters, loved the plot, loved the drama, loved the flow, loved the ending. You write good stuff ... dickhead.

Fantastic finish to a captivating yarn.

The was a little bit different, but different in a good way, maybe it was the Australian flavor that made it feel different, not sure, but I did enjoy your story about Jim,Sasha,and Trina. Thank you.

Really enjoyed the sequel. Been awhile since I read the first one. Was going thru saved authors to see if there was anything new and was delighted to stumble on this gem. Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing.

Lovely story, both in it's entirety and in each chapter.

All I can say is thanks for the great finish to a wonderful story. I was so disappointed with the end of What Are The Odds, but you have outdone yourself with the second part. I think I'm getting the hang of the Aussie speak now ya dickhead. This is such a great love story and so compelling that I couldn't stop reading once I started. This is at the top of my favorite stories, thanks.

Still room for more on these characters. Each one was likeable and strong. I could see jimmy with two wives and five kids. 54

Plenty of room for 2 wives and more kids. Beside who's going to take care of her brother. . . .

There is one glaring omission in this story series. That is Jim's father and mother's view. After all, his father as senior partner of the firm is the one who offered the contract to Sassy in the full knowledge that her acceptance would cause breaking up his son's relationship with his live-in love/girlfriend. His mom didn't object? Perhaps they both saw something in Sassy they didn't like for their son, or perhaps it was to force her to either commit to him or leave town for two years. There is a whole other story lurking in the background.

There was one coincidence that was not discussed but would have had a brutal psychological effect on Jim. Both Tracy (his 7 year fiance from part 1) and Sasha left him by going to Amsterdam. At least he had warning the second time around.

It's rare for a sequel to be better than the original, but you did it with this story.

Good story. I agree with the anon who said that there's an untold story regarding Jim's parents. Whatever motivated the parents to do that to their son has to be worth a story in itself. But still, it was really good.

It is the sign of a good story if I read it for the second time. It is the sign of a great story if I read it multiple signs. Like New Kahala. I take What Is The Odds? rather as the prequel to the Trina story, which kept me at the brim of tears. I hated Sasha for Jim being abandoned again ( He must hated Amsterdam ), what rather reconciled and settled during her after care until the Epilogues. Australian scenario was a fresh air to mostly US focused stories.

I had to google some photos of the Bribie island. Very nice place. I want ice-cream too, it look there is hot around Brisbane all the time.... I found all mentioned placed to travel on a mental map around them. You local knowledge is great, I wonder you got inspired by real places, if not real stories.

Like Trina said, Sasha was a "fucking selfish cunt". People like that deserve misery. Just felt a bit sad for investing in her character in the prequel.

sorry. i 100% disagree with most of the commenters on this one. the love story with Trina felt forced. as did the sudden change in Sasha. none of it felt organic nor true to the character of Sasha at all. there was nowhere near the energy of the previous story. the dialog between Jim and Sasha in 'What Are The Odds?' was much stronger than with Trina in this, making the chemistry between them feel much weaker. the build up to their getting together had almost no memorable landmarks like the sleezeball coworker, the cheesecake, the soccer game, the writing 'I heart you' with fingers, etc with Sasha. i actually found myself skimming through this right after the sudden "i love you" from Jim. it just felt like the author was running on fumes trying to justify the story he was writing. the mess that we got was Option #1.

Option #2: Trina from 'What Are The Odds?' should've remained a secondary character and only that there whilst the author finished the real love story with Jim and Sasha. the author could've reincarnated the brilliant character idea for her he seemed to suddenly have while writing it into another story of her own (writers recycle material and reincarnate characters all the time).

Option #3: the author could've stayed true to Sasha and the deeper version of Trina with more of a love triangle story. Jim would've been going back and forth between them and it could've gone in all sorts of interesting directions.

Option #4+: whatever you or i can think of. the above were 10 seconds of basic ideas of what would've been better. ('if he thinks he's so brilliant why doesn't he try writing something better?' you might be asking. i am and it's almost done. it's novel length and will appear in Sci-Fi/Fantasy at some point. but i kinda want to write all 4 or 5 books before i even post one for continuity sake, so no idea when.)

'A' for effort but 4 stars.

Thank you for the feedback, Anon. I look forward to the day you find courage enough to put a user name beside Sci-Fi work and invite criticism from the public. Let me know if you need an editor. Clearly you are going to need some help with capitalisation, sentence and paragraph structure.

Mostly, I'm really flattered that my writing elicited such profound personal investment in the plot of my story that you felt you had write a giant wall of text.

Good luck with your own writing. It can be a frightening thing to release your creative efforts into the wild.

Fantastic story and a great conclusion to the story..... or is it? It seems that there is another possibility what with Sasha wanting another child’s and Kitty preggers again. I could see the girls working out some “old fashioned” solutions for Sasha and Jim.

As an author you have to have a thick skin; every reader has a slightly different opinion of how the story should go or end but it is your vision that we are enjoying and you get to tie things up as you see fit, these characters are your creations.

Keep it up, you write wonderful stories!

I've been lurking here for a few years, and somehow never came across your wonderful work. Thank you very much for this delightful pair of stories and other work.

I found your stories a few days ago and have now read several back to back. I have to say they are some of my favourites on the site. The way you write and your turn of phrase will I suspect make most stories you write fun to read.

I do hope you continue to write as and post here and I will look out for any new works.

I loved it, your character development is outstanding. Enjoying all your work. Thanks

Great story writing and story. I don't totally agree with the direction you went with Sasha's character though. You made her into a real uncaring selfish cunt in this continuation story. She basically cut Jim's fucking heart out, as well as sorely wounding Trina by abandoning them on short notice for 2 years. I think you gave the cunt a free pass when you let those 2 forgive her so easily when she came back. I think it would have been much more plausible to see them be cold and distant to her and not let her back in their lives after the way Sasha blew them off. Not to her daughter, which is also Jim's, but to her, yes. I do love what you did with Jim and especially Trina in this episode though and you really did Trina right. I still rated the story as a "5" though, as you did an excellent job of fleshing out the characters and writing a good story. Please keep up the fine writing in the Romance category as you are so good at it. BTW, I post anonymously here because I'm not a writer and don't want to go register at yet another website for a login name, not to hide behind an anonymous label. Jim G.

Sooooo good!

A five-star story that I absolutely hated.

James Sr. _had_ to have approved the contract, so whyinhell didn't he caution the two of them about any potential relationship between his son and Sasha?

IMHO it would have been better as a standalone with everything the same except the characters' names.

Great conclusion to a great story!

This story was fucked right from the stsrt when the dumb cuck Jimmy's parents brought the cunt Sasha into the block!!

Jimmy was fucking dumb and clueless!!

Sasha was a real selfish bitch....you should have killed off her character!!

YOUR EORST ROMANCE STORY

After reading this, Jimmy and Kitty made a better pair. Great story. 5*

Why are trolls allowed to deface these pages? Cannot they be screened out somehow?

I admit that the very crux of the plot seems unbelievable. Or at least totally inconsistent. If she was going to come back anyway why not do it when the relationship could have been saved?

Still, who am I to critique a different story from the one the author wanted to write. Quite touching.

Horrible. I can't read past the first page. I already know what's going to happen. People that love each other make sacrifices. As much "sacrifice" as it is to work in a local prestigious law firm, rather than moving to the other side of the world. This is fucked. Why does this have such a high rating? It's shit. Invalidates the whole previous story. WTF???????

Just about purrfect.

To DoctorAlan: in my opinion, I wish the cowards calling him/her/themselves "Anonymous" were nicer as well, or hadn't found this site, but the yin requires it's yang... Anyway, freedom of speech means I just need to do the screening myself. Welcome to adulthood!? 😉

Love your work, but about lost me on this one. Should’ve brought the three together.

Excellent story, very well told - even if I don't really like the plot : I would have preferred if Jim and Sasha had managed to save their love through a long-term relationship, and if for Trina another solution - Greg ? - would have been found !

That's true romance!

Nevertheless 5/5 stars !

This story is kind of a mixed bag. I definitely wanted to hear more about these characters, and the last story ended with two women in love with the same man. But Sasha turning off her emotions for her career was weird, and the Sasha in the first story would have just voided the contract. Still, Rollin' is a great writer, and each story is fun, even if it seems the characters are just making up their own plot lines sometimes.

Gave it 5 stars! Loved the whole story, almost. Right up till Sasha wants another baby. Jim should not do it. What if Sasha decides it's time for her to fulfill her dream of moving to Tahiti or something. Does she take the kids? Also not telling him about his daughter until she is 2years old. He has missed out on all that happens. I'd be mad at Mum also for not telling me of her suspicions. It's what makes for a good story, the conflict, love, and some humor. I hope that you have a third in the series. Is he strong enough to stand up to the two women? At least find out how sincere Sasha is about children or are they just 2 more trophies for her shelf?