All Comments on 'New Starts Ch. 01'

I enjoyed this first chapter and I hope to read the next one soon.

pretty good hopefully you keep improving

I liked it, hoping to see more from this story.

I enjoyed it and gave a high rating but your misuse of words kept taking me out of the story and had to think about what you really meant. You should really work on it to keep the reader involved.

(one thing its lose not loose)

Really?

There's a lot of different possibilities that this story could take on, with him having a hot virgin sister and a hot mom that really gets off and enjoys being fucked. Perhaps he could fuck them both

Thanks for the read.

If you had a good, patient editor, your stories would be a five-star read. This site offers editors to those who ask. Ask. It would help your writing. If memory serves, the first paragraph was a bit of a train wreck. I stuck with it though, and I'm glad I did. Keep trying.

A really promising start to what will hopefully be an interesting series.As others have commented getting a good editor would help as there were a few times when an incorrect word was used and it just throws you for a second trying to understand what you are trying to get across other than that great start and hope for more soon

I loved the development in the story, but the feet kinda disappeared after awhile. In your next story, please include more about the feet: details about them, licking, more footjobs and such. Great story!

Yes, in case you did not get it the first three times. Your story line is pretty fair, but the misuse of words and/or misspelling at critical points is just frustrating. Please continue the series, but with an editor this time. There are a lot of really good ones in the author section.

how do you kiss a check? could you mean cheek? delete and rewrite using a GOOD EDITOR and never post without using a good editor first.

the only good thing you can do with this is DELETE IT. it reads like a six year old wrote it either rewrite it using a GOOD editor or just delete it and stop writing.

Good story just keep writing

Do you even know what a tuxedo is? And who, or what, kisses a check? I honestly tried it read this, but I gave up as a bad job, please take it down and hand it to an editor to turn into something a grownup could follow without giggling. This needs so much work, and you've obviously tried hard, but perhaps you should face facts; you don't know how to write.

The improper spelling through me completely off. I couldn’t even finish it 😳

om2001 - don't let the harsh naysayers deter you. While I agree, a good editor will really polish your writing and help your stories along, I followed it easily and thoroughly enjoyed the buildup of tension between Jon and Rachel. Excellent start - and I eagerly await additional chapters. KEEP WRITING!!! Yes, find some editing help - but KEEP WRITING!! You've got a good story line going and can really develop this into a passionate and very heartfelt romance between the siblings. I'm enjoying the flow and look forward to more. Keep going!