All Comments on 'Newfound Lake'

This was so beautiful! I was crying, I felt horny, I felt anxious for Jane and Evan! Aaaaaaagghhhhhh! I absolutely loved this!

Mighty fine!

Thank you so much. I hoped for the horny reaction but crying and anxiety? I've felt those reading some of my favorite stories so I take it as a big compliment.

You paint a mental video in my head of each character and scene. In color! With a soundtrack! This is good writing and the best of storytelling. I could see this happening to me, or wish it, so I felt part of the story. You were descriptive yet allowed the imagination to fill in even more. Thank you.

Amazing work. Just to reiterate the other comments, a variety of emotions. It made me reflect on a summer / work romance of my own and how I could have handled it better. Just superb story. Sexy, horny, emotionally invested in the characters, anxiety and compassion. Brilliant!!

Usually a 9 pgs story will make me close it, but this story was interesting from beginning to end. Well written and a nice 'what if' fantasy

These comments are 180% from those on my first submission. I'm actually wondering if I'll be able to top this now. Yes, I will try, but I have to admit I'm quite humbled by the responses. Like most others, I write what I know. specifically, I write what I wish. If I can find a few people that wished the same, I'm good.

Movies & music inspire me as well as my own life experiences. I'm a new fan of Rihanna, but 'Stay' is a song I listened to quite a lot while writing this.

Only one point of criticism: I found the switching points of view a bit distracting. One moment you see the world from the point of view of Jane (including her thoughts), then from Evan's PoV, then from Mike/Lisa's, and sometimes from an external observer's PoV. At some points, multiple switches happen in one paragraph. ("Head hopping")

Five stars - wish I could give it more. The most enjoyable, captivating, sexy, well-written, and grammatically error-free story I've read on Literotica! I particularly enjoyed the descriptions of the characters' thinking and emotional processing, which felt very realistic.

Thank you for giving me my first, non-insulting, real criticism. The story I wrote before this one I gave a lot of thought to perspective switches in the third person. With this, I was under a time limit I didn't make, which resulted in the first real writing assignment I've had in more than a decade. Before erotica, I only ever wrote outlines for movies. I've never actually written a complete story until I started posting on here. I understand the possible confusion and thus I tried to make it as smooth as possible for the reader. I can't say I would change it though. I've developed a system in a quick few months and as long as I clarify those perspective switches well, people should be able to tell the difference. Also "This needs to be made into a movie!" is one of the best compliments I could receive. Thank you!

Here is an example: 'He needed more of a distraction than alcohol, so he went to find Mike. Of course, he was with Lisa, who was showing him something on her phone when he walked up.

"Hey guys," Evan said. Lisa hid her phone, looking guilty, but Evan thought nothing of it.'

"Looking guilty" cannot be from Evan's point of view, since he "thought nothing of it". Apparently, POV switches to Lisa (but how could she know that she 'looked guilty'?) and immediately back to Evan. That's head-hopping.

I just read a bit about POVs in narratives (various writer's blogs). The consensus is that it's better to write in 'limited third-person POV' and signal POV switches very clearly.

"people should be able to tell the difference": sure, most of the time I could tell in this story. But I find it distracting when I discover in the middle of a scene that the entire scene was from a new POV.

For the record, I give five stars.

Great story...good ending...or is it?

Would like to know how things work out at home!

I hadn't intended on continuing this story but I've honestly read it three times since it was posted and I love the characters way more than I expected. I have an idea for a prequel, all about Mike & Lisa getting together. A part 2 is possible but it would only be during summer. Evan & Jane coming back to the lake, together. However, I would only post them if they were as good as the first; some stories you can't/ shouldn't force.

I def would like to read about Mike and Lisa. Make it a prequel/sequel if you will. Have Evan and Jane come back for the wedding, whether it's one year or two years down the road, and they all talk and Mike and Lisa reminisce. Maybe even finish off Evan and Jane's story by having Evan propose to Jane if you will. Like you said, don't want to force it, and don't want to be one of those characters that get over done with multiple/too many stories if you will. Great work, look forward to reading more from you.

I like the idea of reminiscing, but I was thinking the begging of a prequel would cover Mike moving to Newfound Lake 15-16 years before, meeting Teresa, his wife that died. From there it would quickly cover how Evan helped him afterward, leading to how Lisa saved him after that. Jane, is my entire inspiration for this story, as she's one of the characters that is 95% like the real person she's based on. When she and Evan are together, Mike and Lisa are more supporting characters but part 2 would definitely have their wedding.

I have never commented before on a public board, pertaining to sex based stories. You captured my attention and held it! Thank you for the great read of 9 pages, but I too want to know what happens to Evan and Jane when they return home? I wanted to strangle Jane when she left the poor guy, and I think you should have made her suffer a few days more, rather than returning the very next day. I chased a woman from Florida to Texas to woo her, only to find she left Texas to come to Florida to find me to work things out. We missed each other (physically) and laughed at our stupidity at not calling each other first. This was such a great read; thank you and I look forward to your sequel. :)

I'm working on Newfound Hope (Prequel) & Newfound Life (Part 2) simultaneously right now. Part 2 will have a quick rundown of how their relationship developed when they went back home, but will mostly pick up the night before they head back to the lake again. To me, back home is boring, as they're both busy finishing up college; it's too much of a typical relationship. Also, the only character who doesn't consider the lake home, yet, is Jane. One spoiler I will say is that back home, Evan doesn't change from lake Evan. Being with Jane keeps him in the mindset year round and because of it, Jane only falls for him more.

I agree that she should've suffered a bit longer but to me her waiting for Evan to come home felt hollow and Evan wouldn't have made any more moves after what she did. When she comes back to give her speech to everyone at the party, she's apologizing to all of them. It seemed like the best way for her to fully redeem herself, especially since all those people are Evan's family.

P.S. Love the story about you and the girl chasing each other. I can just imagine the tension both of you had before you realized what happened.

This is the first time I've felt compelled to share feedback here. Thanks for a great read. Your character development, pacing, and story thread bring this all together into the most enjoyable story I've read in here. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with.

I appreciate your words and they motivate me to keep future stories up to par with this one. I started writing erotica with 2-3 stories in mind and now they're coming to me every couple weeks. I'm still getting used to writing things that people will actually read, but positive feedback like this will always make me try harder with my future projects.

Absolutely wonderful story. The development of the characters and the story draws you in and makes you a part of the story. Happy to see that you are continuing the story line. Thank you for sharing your talent.

Thanks for helping me realize I had any! I said before I wouldn't write continuations unless they were as good as this. They're coming along well enough that I'm definitely posting them. I'm about 1/3 finished with the prequel. Not sure how well it will be received but it follows Mike coming to the lake at 18 (Evan is 5). The bulk of the story will be him and his first wife, then him and Lisa years later. It ends when Evan and Jane slam Mike's door and interrupt the sex scene in this.

I don't know if it's because of where I am in life at this point, or if it's just the way this and your other stories are written, or lastly if it's the skill in which you grasp the pen - but I absolutely loved this story, and will always fondly consider it one of my very favorites.

Thank you for this, and I sincerely hope to see you keep writing.

Which ever reason it is I’m glad. I started writing so I could make stories I wanted to read and to hopefully reach out to others. If my writing makes you question something in your own life or simply view a situation in a different light that’s awesome. My favorites have done the same for me.

Great story! Having grown up on Newfound, it would have been amazing if you put in a few easter eggs about the lake!

This was a terrific read! Read it all in one sitting. Definitely excited for the sequel if it's still coming.

I'm appreciative! Thanks!

Great story that I rated 5 stars. This story is fine the way it is but one minor thing is bugging me. I wish Jane would have had a positive sexual experience at lake before hooking up with Evan. maybe having great sex with Chad and having the shotgun scene because he's not accepting it's over. I wanted desperation to play less of a role in her decision to pull the trigger. Once again, great story.

One of the best stories I have read on the site! Please keep up the great work, more like this please!!

Simply put, Best Literotica Story Ever.

So clever and really loved the characters. They brought the story alive. That and sex scenes were very hot.

... really enjoyed that, great writing!

You have a gift - that was a near-perfect blend of story and erotic action, with righ characters and a lovely community...you could write a slew of stories about the characters in this one!

This was my first read on the site and it blew me away. My only problem now is that I can't find anything as good as this.

Third time reading this story and it is still just as great! Thank you for sharing!

No joke, one of the best stories I've read in over 12 years on this site