Next Generation Christian Kingdom Ch. 05

"Close enough," said Anthony. "What you most need to understand is that in both cases you will wind up with a perpetual child. As adults, they will be nothing but victims in life -- real or imagined. In order for them to become functioning adults that are in control of their lives, all children require leadership in their lives.

"What is your understanding of what a leader is?"

"The person in charge," said Chris.

"That's all?" responded Anthony. "Then what is a ruler?"

"I guess it's the same thing," said Chris.

"Not even close," continued Anthony. "Although I would be surprised if you did understand the difference, considering that difference is not valued in the society we belong to.

"I want you to carefully consider how you currently believe there is no difference, because the most important thing that you must understand by the time you take your oath is the difference between the two. As a man of this kingdom, your leadership is crucial, yet the last thing we need around here are any rulers.

"We will get more into what leadership really means later, but for now, leaders empower those that follow them, yet rulers create fear and/or dependency, which destroys the power in those that follow them. In both of the cases I presented a minute ago, those children did not have a leader in their lives. The former had nothing, and the later had a ruler.

"So, as a leader of your children, do you let them decide everything in their lives?"

"No," answered Chris.

"Do you decide everything in their lives?" Anthony asked.

"No," replied Chris. "But I don't think I'm any closer to understanding what I should do."

"What you specifically do has to be decided on a case by case basis," said Anthony. "What you should be aiming for is to provide a framework for them to make decisions for them selves with a goal of always making themselves more valuable. You shouldn't be making decisions for them, but you should be making them make decisions. It requires great deal of diligence, but it's not really that hard."

"I'm a little troubled by this notion of making children valuable," said Chris. "Aren't you saying they should conform to society? What about their individuality? Isn't it more empowering to teach children to be confident in who they are?"

"Not at all," replied Anthony. "First of all, you can't teach confidence. Confidence only comes from overcoming adversity, or achieving goals that appear unattainable. That is what is so ridiculous about liberals having their children play games where no one keeps score. There must be a real threat of losing in order to gain any confidence from winning.

"As for individuality, the more valuable you are, the more opportunity you will have to express your individuality. People who are not valuable live desperate lives, and struggle with life-and-death decisions. That is hardly a life where people can live the life they want.

"Besides, there is no cabal of elites deciding what is valuable. As you will find out when we get into economics on some other day, the real 'power of the people' is the populace's ability to decide what is valuable for themselves. As an individual, you can influence what is valuable by convincing others they should want what you have to offer. Rather than conforming to society, you could have society conform to you, but through persuasion, not force of law.

"Take my own daughter for instance. I raised her to be a strong and confident young woman. Even though she knew what I thought of college, I still allowed her to pursue a college scholarship because my focus was on making her valuable, and not at arriving at some destination that I thought was best for her. I didn't decide what was valuable. I let her decide that for herself, yet I made her make that decision. I have never told her she can do what ever she wants.

"And this gets into another aspect that we expect when you raise your children. The last thing we want are children that believe they need to enter our kingdom when they become adults. It's alright if they want to, but not need to. Any need is a sign of dependency, not empowerment.

"That scholarship my daughter pursued offered her another path -- one that was not provided by me, but by her -- where she could make a life for herself outside of the kingdom if she wished. She has just entered our kingdom, and whether she sticks around will be entirely because she wants to, and not because she feels she needs to. She knows I will not love her less if she decides to go another way."

"That makes sense to me," said Chris. "I could do that. It seems to be nothing more than making them make themselves valuable."

"That's exactly right," confirmed Anthony. "It's not about what you believe is valuable, but getting them to understand that they need to make themselves valuable. What is valuable now may change, but if they get into the process of making themselves valuable, then they will be able to handle whatever life throws at them later on."

Chris paused to think for a moment, then continued, "I see how this works for my children, but I don't see how this applies to women. Isn't this attitude of empowering women a little condescending to them?"

"Of course it is," replied Anthony. "But only if you believe men and women are the same. Do you believe that men and women are the same? Do you believe that the only real difference between them is that they have different genitalia? And that all differences we see are based on the culture we were brought up in?"

"No, I don't," Chris finally said. "I like to consider myself as a good liberal, but I have never really bought into the line that men and women are the same."

Anthony continued. "That's good to hear. Do you know of the Chinese concept of yin and yang.?"

"You mean that circle with the black and white swirls in it?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, that one," said Anthony.

"Not much really," Answered Chris. "It looks real cool, though."

"Yes it does, doesn't it?" said Anthony. "The purpose of the circle is to represent how you must approach anything in this universe if you wish to understand it. This view states that everything is made up of dichotomies, so to understand one side requires an understanding of the other. Things like, you can't really understand what good is unless you understand what bad is. This is particularly true if you want to understand men and women, or masculine and feminine.

"We in this kingdom don't just embrace the concept of yin-yang, we celebrate it; we thank God for it. We apply the dichotomy that yin-yang represent to everything. Even life itself can't be properly understood without death.

"There are many religious aspects to this as well, but we'll save that 'til this afternoon. Let's focus for now on how this applies to men and women. We believe that both men and women are their happiest, and most productive, when men are allowed to be men, and women are allowed to be women. Just because we can do what the other does well, doesn't mean we should.

"On the other hand, modern feminism teaches us that this principle is an illusion. That where we see the yin-yang circle of black and white parts we should in fact see a circle of gray, and that the only reason we see it differently is because that is what we were taught.

"They are the ones that see an illusion. Even their approach to life can't get around the masculine/feminine dichotomy. Where they see teaching women to be self-reliant, we see them teaching women to be men. Since this can't work, and never will, they of course have to blame men, and get laws passed to 'protect' women. For the feminist, it will always be the man's fault for their failure.

"What I really hate about what feminism has done is that it has taught so many women that what they offer as women is meaningless. One of the important principles of yin-yang is that neither side really has an advantage. One side is just as important as the other."

"Wait a second," said Chris. "Are you saying that everything was just fine between men and women before feminism came along?"

"Absolutely not," replied Anthony. "There is no doubt that what women provided in our society was undervalued. What I am saying is that feminism was the wrong response. Their notion that 'A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle" just created more problems. Rather than teaching the value of women, they just added to the chorus that said what women had to offer didn't matter.

"I have gotten into this argument before with people who support feminism. They at once say there are no differences between men and women, yet they say women have something special to offer our society. Well, you can't have it both ways.

"I think the most telling aspect of feminism is that after decades of being bombarded by their dogma, the vast majority of women refuse to refer to themselves as a feminist."

"So what is the proper approach to empowering women?" asked Chris.

"You must always begin with reality, then work from there," answered Anthony. "As an example, when we get into economics later, you will learn that capitalism is not a choice to make. It is reality. It describes how an economy works. Capitalism is neither good nor bad.

"Socialism is a choice, and it is the choice to make for people who want to live in a fantasy. It is the choice to make for those too lazy to figure out how economies actually work. Since there is no way to go from a reality to a fantasy, only bad things can happen when this choice is made.

"The same is true about the reality that our society is a male dominated society. This, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It just is. Bad things can happen when the dominate part considers itself to be the better part, but bad things can also happen when we refuse to work with this reality, as the feminists insist. All the laws of government can never change reality, and so they cannot change that this is a male dominated society.

"Once we accept this, we can then move forward in a way that benefits both men and women. What the concept of yin-yang teaches us is that neither side has a true advantage, because one requires the other to exist. There is no masculine without the feminine, and there is no dominance without submission.

"We'll get more into the domination and submission aspects of this later. For now I just want you to see how this is the starting point for why it is the responsibility of the man to empower the woman, and not the other way around. As you will eventually see, the more you empower her, the more you empower yourself.

"So, do you have any ideas how to empower women yet?"

Chris thought about this for a bit, and then said, "I'm not exactly sure, but from what I have gathered so far, I suppose I should take what the feminists do, then do the opposite."

"For a liberal, you're really catching on," said Anthony. "Feminists breed dependency of Big Brother when women encounter problems. The last thing they even want is for women to solve problems for themselves. Empowerment is nothing but a slogan for them, as all of the sexual discrimination law suits can attest to. Again, empowerment means you have the power. If you need a Big Brother, then it is Big Brother that has the power, not you."

"I'm still a little lost," said Chris. "If a woman is being held back at work just because she's a woman, what do you expect her to do? Do you think it is just in her head? That she's only imagining it?"

"No. She's not imagining it," answered Anthony. "Many men do not believe that woman are as competent in business as men are. This is a fact. But rather than prove these men are wrong, feminists would rather prove them right by filing lawsuits when things don't go their way.

"If a man doesn't feel like he is being respected where he works, he goes somewhere he does feel respected, or he starts his own business. This approach is not acceptable to feminists. The woman did not do anything wrong, they say, so why should she have to leave? As far as feminists are concerned, whenever a woman perceives that she is being disrespected, she should declare herself a victim and go whining to Big Brother to exact revenge.

"What feminist teach is dependency, not empowerment. They are more interested in seeing revenge than seeing women live happy and fulfilling lives. Any company that makes stupid business decisions, like passing over competent women for incompetent men, sets themselves up for a loss of market share to enterprising women willing to take advantage of this opportunity. And the more women respond in this manner, the more men will believe they are competent in business."

"You make it sound so simple," said Chris. "Yet I don't think it is. What about unwanted sexual advances in the work place. Do you think a woman should give up a good paying job because of a hostile work environment?"

Anthony responded in an over-dramatic and sarcastic manner. "Oh my God! Do you mean to tell me that there are men in this world that actually find women sexually attractive!?! Say it ain't so Chris!"

After resuming a more serious tone, Anthony continued. "Which do you consider to be a more hostile work environment. One where men are allowed to hang calendars of scantily clad women on their cubicle wall, or one where a person can be reprimanded, if not fired, for telling an off color joke?"

That last question was rhetorical, because Anthony just went on. "I left my first job out of the Army because I couldn't stomach the behavior of the union members there. Why should the behaviors that only women object to be punishable by government sanctions? I'll tell you why, feminists don't believe that women can take care of themselves. Any person who believes that feminists actually respect women is a fool, which explains why most women don't consider themselves feminists, because most women aren't fools.

"Again, employers that make stupid business decisions, like allowing actual hostile work environments to flourish at their business, subject their business to a loss of market share to anyone with the courage to take advantage of it. You yourself said that you were willing to work for less at the auto dealership because you preferred the environment. If you are able to provide a more respectful environment than your competition, then you can pay your workers less, and take business away from your competition through lower prices.

"True and honest capitalistic principles are the most effective means of empowerment."

"This sounds all well and good, but how does it apply to me?" asked Chris. "What do you expect me to do?"

"Like you said," responded Anthony. "Just do the opposite of the feminist, which is to provide leadership for the women in your life. Consider how the liberal responds to a beggar in the street. The liberal believes the respectful thing to do is to give the beggar what he is asking for, which is the change in their pockets. In other words, liberals believe they should pay them to live in their filth and vomit in order to respect them. They maybe respecting the beggar's choice, but they are not showing any respect for the beggar. Actual respect for the beggar is to go against his wishes and either make him stand up for himself, or if he is truly incapable, then throw him into a mental institution.

"With that in mind, let say your wife comes home all upset because her boss told her that he now expects her to suck his cock each morning or she will lose her job. How should you respond? Should you protect her?"

"No," replied Chris. "Like you said, you cannot protect and empower at the same time. I guess I would console her and help her find a new job."

"Not a bad response," said Anthony. "You have to be careful with how you console her or you will only feed into her sense of victim hood, and nothing robs power like believing you are a victim. In spite of what any liberal or feminist will say, the only thing that happened to her is that her job description changed to one that is unacceptable, nothing more.

"Once she recovers you must do something unpopular and call into question her judgment about working at a place that valued her contribution to it so little. A key component to empowerment is taking responsibility for fully understanding the value that you bring to where you work. Nothing protects you, or provides more power to you, then bringing more value than cost to where you work.

"Then again, your role in her life is to provide leadership, but a poor leader is someone who can only second guess the decisions of those he leads. If you were doing your job right, she would never have been in that position in the first place. As a leader you must be involved in her life, but at the same time you must not micro manage it. Proper leadership is a balancing act, yet if you keep in mind what shows real respect for your wife, you will do all right.

"This leads to something we have been talking around all morning, and now it is time to confront it. What images or feelings come to mind when you think of men dominating women?"

Chris thought for a few moments, then replied, "Nothing good, that's for sure."

"I'm not surprised," said Anthony. "There are important and fundamental issues of human relationships that our society refuses to deal, and they do that by writing them off as evil. Key to them all is the duality of domination and submission. Some of the things that probably come to mind are things like men squashing the identity and individuality of women, yet nothing can be further from the truth.

"Look at what liberals do to their 'victim' classes. Their actions breed fear and dependency among them, and nothing strips a person's individuality and uniqueness than living in fear, and believing your are dependent on something. Only empowered people can express themselves as they choose to.

"As the oath you take states, you must empower your women, but how do you do that? You don't do it by letting them decide what ever they want. You must dominate them completely, and correspondingly, they must submit to you in every way. If it is your role to empower, then you must have full authority to do so.

"To understand this better, lets step back in time before the feminist revolution. Relationships between men and women were not good by almost any way you want to measure them. The problem was not because men dominated women, which is what the feminist would have you believe. It was because of the lack of respect men had for women, and more importantly, a lack of respect for what women offered our society.

"Let me ask you another question. Should only the leader of a relationship be respected, or should everyone, leader and follower alike, be equally respected?"

"Of course," replied Chris. "Everyone should be respected."

"Feminists don't believe so. They believe that women weren't being respected because men dominated them. They believe the only path that will garner respect for women is to... actually I'm not sure. They don't seem to be 'for' anything. The only thing they seemed to be, is against women being dominated by men.

"Let's look at their idea of empowering women. As I said earlier, power isn't something that can be taken from one person, and given to another. They don't want to empower women, they just want to destroy the power in men they disapprove of. This breeds dependency in the women they claim to be empowering. Their total focus is using collective power against their 'enemy.' Nothing about what they do is 'for' women.

"Their entire approach to dealing with the very real problem of men not respecting women is by disrespecting those men, which in those men's minds, only proves they were right to begin with.

"On the other hand you have this kingdom. And in it, men dominate women to empower them. Our focus is not on some enemy of women, but on the women themselves. We respect women because we know they can handle the problems presented to them by men who do not respect them."