Nicks Women Plus Real Ones

Rose's eyes bulged. "My mother told you about the quality of sex with my father?"

"Yes because I asked her and asked what things she liked and disliked about your father: it's called character research. It may interest you to hear she struggled to think of things she dislikes about him. There are things that irritate her but she accepted she could be irrational about some of those. As for you father, I interviewed him twice about his cellar habits. Are you aware when he goes down there an loiters he thinks of his former life in France?"

Rose gasped no.

"And that he would have liked to have had a son to teach about wine?"

"Oh god no. I know nothing about that."

"Please don't say anything to Lisa about that. He asked me not to. And may I ask that you begin to slowly take an interest in his cellar. If and when you and I commit he'll adopt me as the son who needs to be taught about wine."

"Oh god, this is so deep and so romantic. I'll love to read about it."

"Then you'll have to read between the lines because the guy is am Italian immigrant and he yearns to have a son to educate about whisky and then finally his daughter brings home this guy who becomes a surrogate son."

"This book will sell by the millions," Rose said confidently, hugging her lover.

"Ah, about my mother?"

"Oh god, did you have to spoil the moment?"

Two days later Nick reached the café after the usual waves and interchanges with young girls but he thought perhaps the number of incidences were decreasing. He was only just inside the door of the diner when Betty rushed him.

She laughed and kissed him and he could see she was deliriously happy.

"Bee was in huge trouble at school yesterday."

"Oh yes," Nick said cautiously, wondering how the fuck could a mother be happy about that.

"She was made to stay in after school for her part in the incident."

"Incident?"

"Yes. Two guys in her class caused an uproar fighting over who was taking her to the movies on Saturday afternoon."

"How could Bee be blamed for that."

"With other kids in the class screaming and egging the guys on, the classroom teacher distinctly heard Bee yell she'd accept the guy who won."

"Who won?"

"School security arrived to break up the fight so it was inconclusive. The guys have agreed to both accompany Bee to the movies."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm not worried because both guys are geeks but Bee is now being noticed and two other guys have asked her for dates. You are an amazing man darling. Here let me kiss you again. Her is $500 from Bee's father."

"Nah, but give me another kiss Betty and you spend that money on a necklace. There is no need to mention how you got the necklace. Lend it to Bee at times."

"You're a good man Nick Bradshaw. Now this is extremely confidential. I'm reading your latest book to my husband in bed and he is now prepared to leave the light on when we have sex and two nights ago for the first time ever, we did it doggy. When will you be describing anal sex in this new lively and explicit style you are developing Nick? My guess is I'm not the only woman hanging out for it."

"I'll think about it Betty," Nick wheezed. "Let Bee help you choose the necklace."

* * *

Nick went home for lunch one Sunday and Muriel pretended not to have known a Lisa Monroe or have gone to college in Massachusetts.

"Mom get your mind up to speed. There is a photograph of you in the hall in the regional champion college girls' hockey team. The left winger is named as Lisa Monroe and you played right wing."

"Oh yes."

"Well she wants you to come to lunch next Saturday."

"Where? I'm not going to Massachusetts just for lunch."

"She lives about four miles from here mom."

"Well fancy that."

"She says your ignore her when she sees you."

"Well I might well do that since I don't know what she looks like. Anyway, what has this got to do with you?"

"I sometimes stay in her home. I'm a friend of her daughter."

"What kind of friend?"

"Very close actually."

"Then why didn't you present her for approval before the contract expired?"

"Such an offer would be beneath her, that's why."

"I see. Well I'm a little bored at present and this proposal of yours sounds intriguing. Please give the housekeeper the date, time and address for her diary."

"You housekeeper's name is Mrs Wilks mother."

"Is that so? She's been with me thirteen years and so I'm unlikely to have forgotten her name."

"Yes mother. Please say her name."

"Mrs Wilks. Now that's enough of childish games. Tell me, why are my friends telling me they read your books when they know I never read drivel?"

* * *

Nick said very carefully. Now Lisa please settle. Although my mother is reputedly worth close to fifty million she describes that as bullshit, using that very word. Both of her hips are arthritic as a result of too much booze, too much sex and too much hard sport in her younger years. And just like you, her feet hurt in tight shoes and she dislikes talking on the phone and wishes her husband would be tidier around the house."

"That's your mother you are describing?"

"Yes and I'll tell you this for your ears only. Although she treats dad and me like shit she'll be on her charming best when she visits in twenty-one minutes."

"She'll be late."

"My mother is never late. You said 2:30 and that's when the doorbell will ring."

"Oh god, this is the worst day of my life. Where's Rose, I want Rose?"

"At the library. Rose and I discussed tactics and both believed it best if my mother focused on you initially. Rose will arrive at 3:00."

"Ohmigod my hair, my dress. Oh why don't I spend big money on myself?"

"Lisa, Rose and I want you to be yourself. If you take a dislike to my mother or she to you it won't matter. Life will still go on. Lisa, now listen to me. I want you to be your charming self and that is being relaxed and friendly and unbothered. I don't want you letting Rose down."

"I won't. I want Rose to be proud of me."

"Good girl. Fetch your brush and I'll do your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing. Your hair being brushed will calm you."

The doorbell went at 2:30 on the dot and Nick pushed Lisa towards the door.

"Good afternoon Mrs Bradshaw. How lovely to see you again."

"Are you for real Floppy Tits? I see you have them under control these days."

"You call me Lisa and I won't call you Big Mouth."

"Oh okay," said Muriel. "Sounds like you wish to bury your past. I'll never forget how you bullied me and coached me so hard to allow me to make required grades. How may I reward you?"

"A kiss and a hug would be lovely and then greet your son."

They hugged and kissed and Muriel said good afternoon to her son and asked, "Where's your husband."

"In the cellar fearful of meeting you."

"Oh really. Sounds like you picked a good husband. Get him up here."

"I'll do that, Nick said, and hurried off.

Jacques growled, "I thought I was to be cooped up in this fucking cellar half the afternoon?"

"My mother wants you topside to inspect you Jacques."

"Up hers."

"Now come on Jacques, don't be petulant."

Nick led Jacques up from the cellar that was at the same level as the underground garages.

Nick said, "Jacques, please meet my mother Muriel Bradshaw. Mother this is Jacques Rousseau."

Jacques was astonished when Muriel greeted him in perfect French. While they conversed Lisa said to Nick, "If your mother can speak French why can't you?"

"Because my mother lived five years post-college working in France, that's why."

"Do you know any French."

"Some words and phrases and my ear appears better tuned after Rose read me that novel night after night."

"Ah yes. Boring wasn't it?"

"Well it did give me insight into French family life and a little about their thinking."

"Ah yes. Very thoughtful comment. I speak French, poorly. Jacques prefers my English."

Jacques poured red wine and Muriel said in delight, "My dear Jacques. This wine is beautiful."

He flushed in pleasure and Nick was pleased because his mother never was complimentary unless she really meant it. Straight and predictable was his mother.

Rose arrived. Nick was waiting for this and would never forget the look on his mother's face.

He smiled, "Rose darling, this is my mother Muriel Bradshaw. Please call her Muriel."

"Yes please do, Muriel said, kissing Rose in the manner of the French. "You are very beautiful."

"Thank you Muriel. And you are very charming. Ohmigod, I don't wish to be rude but that necklace; it's absolutely gorgeous."

"It has come down to me through five generations Rose, from a German ancestor of high position. She gave it to her youngest daughter when the newly married young woman immigrated to this country."

"What a beautiful story to go with it. Please excuse me. Stay where you are mom; I'll serve afternoon tea."

Muriel looked at the retreating Rose rather thoughtfully.

Nick was at his apartment engaged in beginning final work on his manuscript that evening, a task that would take perhaps a fortnight and included burning the midnight oil. He expected to receive the final ten edited draft chapters back within the next couple of days.

His mother called.

"What is it? You never call me."

"Don't be rude Nicholas. I was calling to thank you for arranging for me to reunite with Lisa. We plan to do some things together."

"Excellent and I'm very pleased to hear that. Thank you for making the effort."

"Oh my couth darling. I also wanted to say Rose is the one. Had you presented her in time for approval she would have received it, without question."

"I'm pleased to know that but believe me when I discussed the contract you had with me she made it quite clear she would have left me had I accepted your money under those terms."

"The stupid girl."

"Think what you wish mother. I regard it as her right to think like that."

"Well thank god you're not in business. You would have been a pauper by now."

"Oh but I'm in business, earning money as a writer."

Muriel laughed. "Peanuts I should think."

"My after-tax royalties and other payments for the past financial year mother were just over $837,000, a 15.7% increase on the previous year and I have been informed the assessment of the novel I'm tidying up before submitting as the final manuscript will take my sales through the roof, although I can't get anyone to tell me sensibly what that means."

"Will it become a best seller?"

"Could be. We'll just have to wait and see. Would you please consider advancing me $800,000 as an interest-free loan. I wish to invest in property."

"I only give interest-free personal loans to your father. I shall charge you 3% for a term of seven years. Visit Mel Fisher at my attorney's office tomorrow at 2:00. I shall instruct her in the morning and advise your appointment time."

"She might not be able to see me then."

"She will if she wishes to continue handling my realty investments."

Next morning Nick consulted the company managing the apartment block about the possible purchase of apartment twenty-eight. The manager called back and said the trustees of the estate owning it were interested in freeing money. The current value of the property was $1.6 million.

Nick decided to take the risk. "I have come into some money but not that much. Please forward my unconditional offer of $1.1 million requiring free possession within two months."

The offer was accepted and the deal signed on Friday.

"Are you sure you can afford it?" Rose had asked when told on the day Nick had made the offer.

"Yes easily and my mother is lending me $800,000 so I have seven years in which to pay back that loan."

"But why here, where not go into a newer apartment block at a much better address?"

"I hope you'll move in with me. This is near your school and near your parents and is right under where I write. My workroom apartment suits me fine; the atmosphere, its snugness and the four-sided views of the city are incomparable in assisting in the generation of creative thought. I purchased my turret apartment with money I received from my maternal grandmother. Because of my belief that environment really works for me I'll not give it up by shifting. If push comes to shove I'd live anywhere else in the city but would retain that turret."

"Fair enough. You find the working environment inspirational and so I'd believe you should stick with it. Is Apartment 29 similar to my parent's apartment?"

"A little smaller with only two bedrooms but with an additional bathroom and no cellar of course. The layout is quite similar."

"Then I'll happily shift in with you."

"Good. I did a hard deal so I have cash for refurbishment. You can manage that project, making the decisions but please check colors with me."

"I'd love to do that. How do off-white walls with bright blue as the predominant color for the soft-furnishing sound plus I'll try your mother to see what modern art she has stored away?"

"My mother?"

"Yes. I've been out twice with mom and her and your mother calls me every two or three days, usually before I leave for work."

"My mother?"

"Nick for god sake. You mother is really quite nice and seems to have really brightened up with me about. I have been advising her about fashion and getting rid of that giant gas-guzzling limo and settling for a black Mercedes S-class Hybrid. She's thinking about it."

"My mother takes advice from a bunch of business professionals."

"Well that's okay but does she listen to them? She appears to be listening to me."

* * *

Nick visited his publisher for meetings over two days with senior people. Rose couldn't accompany him because of school commitments.

The first meeting that afternoon took three hours to reach agreement on the title. Nick's working title 'Jessica Lays Mr Right' was rejected within five minutes of the start of the meeting.

Then the discussions crawled until late afternoon when after the rejection of the 34th suggested title, the senior editor said, "Bring out the wine Jennie. Getting smashed might miraculously produce the title we want and ease my anxiety that we might be expecting too much from this paperback.

"Red Wine for Jessica," Nick said.

Senior editor Patsy Coates momentarily froze. Others in the room stared at Nick in dawning realization.

"Okay one wine and everyone back to work," Patsy said. She instructed the head of the art department, "Work up a cover using Nick's brilliant title Alf incorporating a glass of red wine and the heroine's face."

"Grab your wine and mine and come with me Nick and I'll explain the promotional budget and what we require you to do. You'll need to hit the road with a beautiful companion."

"I have one. Just make sure that coincides with the high school break."

"It will. Do you have photos of this woman?"

"Yeah on my personal website, clothed and nude."

"Clothed will do nicely than you Nick. Does she drink red wine?"

"Yeah, it's the only liquor she drinks plus champagne. She is also fluent in French."

Patsy turned to look at Nick. "Ohmigod, you modeled your heroine on her?"

"Christ Patsy, whatever gave you that idea?" Nick said, attempting to look like a choirboy.

Returning home Nick realized just how much he'd missed Rose in the short time he'd been away from her. It wasn't only the sex he was missing. She'd simply grown on him through mutual attraction and proven compatibility in a grafting process that had occurred without being noticed.

Amazing.

It would be at least another month before they were living together, more likely almost three months, allowing for the occupants of No. 29 to go and for the renovations to be completed. There could be a wait for workmen because everyone began do-up work from late spring. The surprise was finding he could miss someone so much; obviously Rose had become his best pal.

Nick was always nervous about his status of a writer on the eve of publication of a new book and this time he was practically panting in anxiety after being informed about the plans to promote the wine lady book and the huge amount of money to be spent to underpin that strategy.

What if the new release bombed?

He'd asked Patsy that, knowing the tough-ass editor would give it to him straight. She said sure she was nervous but had gone to the board in confidence with the marketing plan. The board had agreed they were overdue in introducing Nick as a personality to the public. Currently he was the company's No. 3 author in terms of sales and the wine lady book, as it was now being called internally, would hurl him way out in front as the small publisher's No. 1 author. Nick of course had known all this was based on the feedback secured from readership panel appraisals plus paying a few noted literary critics to give their judgment on the final manuscript. All Patsy would say about that was the feedback was fine, just as she'd expected.

Nick had pressed Patsy to be more specific but she said those assessments were only that, assessments. What counted would be the book's success at cash registers.

'Red Wine for Jessica' would be Nick's first truly international publication. Some of his earlier publications had been sent from New York to distributors in other countries on demand but this time there would be simultaneous releases of the wine lady book to be printed on contract in New York, Toronto, England, France and Germany.

Patsy has told him not to worry, that the company rarely had total failures. She assured him this book had what it took and he should go home and relax before starting his next novel. He's said he was well ahead with planning and was told to go home and relax with his beautiful girlfriend.

* * *

Rose was clearing away breakfast with her mother when asked, "I can't believe how Muriel has taken to you so comprehensively."

"She's lonely mom and she'd confided she'd always wanted a daughter."

"Ohmigod, this is a takeover."

"Calm down. You'll always be my mother and she will be no more than my mother-in-law."

"Ohmigod, Nick has asked you to marry him!"

"No but he will. Neither of us is meant for anyone else."

"Rose listen to me, grab him while you have the chance."

Rose laughed and went over and kissed her mom and scolded her for panicking. "Nick will realize there is no one else for him if he bothers to think about it. Our relationship has extended beyond sex."

"Tell him that, please tell him that."

"No mom and I don't want you applying pressure and making cute remarks to him about it. It will happen. I promise you that."

"You promise, you really do?"

"Yes now off to the laundry and get your mind wrapped around work and call Muriel and suggest an outing."

"I don't call her. She calls me."

"Mother!"

"All right, all right. There is no need to be such a shrew."

During that day, Nick's second day away, Rose decided she didn't like Nick being away. She couldn't control his movements but that didn't mean she couldn't emote about it. This had been their first break and she wondered perhaps that might encourage him to think about the impact of her on his life.

Rose mused that she'd been right in saying to her mother that the relationship had gone beyond sex, not that a woman could expect a guy to possess such perception although perhaps Nick might, having the creativity that fueled him as a writer. She wasn't pregnant yet, at least didn't think she was. What would Nick be like with babies?

Thinking about that Rose decided he'd probably be very good and do his share with them because he was fair-minded. She knew if they had a daughter she would become intellectually romantically minded through her father making up stories for her throughout her childhood. Oh how lovely.

Then Rose wondered if she had the talent to write children's books. It was a huge market because grandparent's were compulsive buyers of children's books and kids loved to read, well until they got to their computer age that seemed to becoming earlier and earlier. But who went to bed at night with a computer instead of a book?