All Comments on 'Nicole'

... to use!!

Third person, present tense?

It's like you are dreaming about what might happen, as opposed to relating a story about what DID happen.

For that - 2 stars!

Very good story, since I am 64 and My Lady is 33 we both enjoyed your story.

Looking forward to see more like it .

For someone using a main character name of one of my favorite authors as your pen name, please, please, work on your grammar.

Honestly, by the sixth paragraph I didn't care what happened and to whom.

Not too long ago I had submitted my first effort, so I know how criticism can feel, but if you want to keep writing, this is part of the process.

I suggest for the sake of the story, re-edit and then resubmit. The premise is good.

BTW-2 stars

I like the story but had a problem when this old guy has an 8-inch dick. Why not just let us use our imaginations and say he had a larger than normal size dick or the biggest one she ever saw? The other problem is that the guy, we never know his name, doesn't care if he knocks up the girl because he jumps right in going bare back. I thought maybe the old guy might have been shooting blanks, a vasectomy or war injury or something, but it seems that he is just a selfish uncaring bastard and only wants to screw little girls.

I would like to see this woman get pregnant and offer her thoughts and feelings throughout her pregnancy about carrying the mans baby in her belly. I would like to see the the couple realize that they were made for each other and get married and have more children.

...dude i just read the comment by this fireguy dude.....'use your imagination about penis size!'...well if im imagining fireguy dude ill imagine 2 inches!...thes stories are supposed to be about larger than life-so to speak---you know suspend imagination.....and who says 8 inches is big anyway????...dude you have to read stories by this writer Shoguy.....those are the real deal...confident older dudes with hot teens ---check that shoguy out.....

Example - "As you dance, he pulls her tighter."

Is that three people or should it have been "As THEY dance, he pulls her tighter."?

For much of the story it has been in the third person - he, she, they - but suddenly changes to "He pushes deep inside of you, pressing the head of his cock into your cervix, As he holds himself deep in you, "

Anonymous, if you need to love stories about bigger dicks, maybe yours doesn't cut it with the ladies.