Night Before the Premiere

"In a world far away, can two heroes..."

SKIP AD, SKIP AD, SKIP AD, SKIP AD. Finally, I get to watch my Tasty food video. I fucking hate ads. I just want to watch how to make Christmas cookies for myself in the middle of July. The trailers always hype up the movie to be this glorious piece of cinema and then it's just shit. No originality, same old shit. Blah. Just wait until it ends up on Netflix and sleep halfway through.

I have been a recluse for a while. I know, all great adventures start with an introverted, depressed, shut-in. I guess it's unfortunate that I live in LA. My life isn't bad. No debt... yeah that's about it no debt. That is the only thing I can hold my hat on. My office job is dreadful. It is the stereotypical pick up the phone every other hour for a client, or reply to some idiot coworkers who can not figure out spreadsheets, or appease my annoying next-door cubicle worker about the girl he just had sex with.

"Hey Collin, I had some fine ass girl last night, should've joined. I bet her friends were screamers too. HAHAHAHA" Yeah whatever, dude. Bet she was faking that shit because your haircut screams rich, but your personality exhibits boring-ass office clerk.

As you can tell my life is extraordinarily ordinary. I have some fun from time to time. Maybe more in my college days and the first few months of living in LA. But, I'm mostly an introvert. And don't knock it. I love the time I spend with myself. Especially now, after bad relationship after bad relationship. I am just over it. I have become comfortable in my safe space. No one can ruin it. If the common denominator is me, so be it. Apparently, I am too much a homebody for people. So now, I control what I watch on Netflix, the music I blast in the shower, and what I eat at night. Well for most days at least. Then there's my roommate...

"Sup dude, I got some of that new stuff from Popeyes. Let's eat and watch some Love Island. You know I love that drama stuff and looks like you can use some company tonight." My friend, literally my one friend, Jacody Austin, loves to keep me company. We were paired with each other for dorm assignments and eight years later we are still friends. Meeting him was a unique experience. I was from a small city with little to no diversity. The town may have had the occasional Latino family, but that's about it. But, Jacody was from inner-city Chicago. An entirely different universe from which I grew up in.

I am an average 5' 11" white dude from buttfuck Iowa and Jacody is a 6' with muscle that can only be seen when he takes his shirt off. He is, as he calls it, a nonthreatening black guy, sort of like Chidi from "The Good Place". I was a run of a mill business major and Jacody was a communications major who currently works for some talent agency or consulting firm. I don't know for sure, I lost track since he moves jobs every year. All I know is that he works in LA and he is the reason why I'm here. Jacody somehow worked some connections he made throughout his numerous internships and hooked me up with a job when I was struggling to find one. He claims he brought me along because he needs me to get into all the hot clubs but really, I think, it's because we are really close. And that means something since it is coming from me.

"We gotta do something this weekend." Why does everyone want me to go out? Can't they appreciate my solitude? "We can go to the club on Saturday and catch the premiere of this new movie on Sunday. It's supposed to be fire, let's go out man, you haven't left this apartment since Christmas. Dude, it's already March." Listen, we live in this expensive ass apartment and from my perspective, I'm the one getting its money worth out of it. While Jacody spends minimal time here. He just showers, changes, eats, goes to work, parties, and the occasional fuck at the apartment at 2 am if he didn't go to her place first. But I'm not in the mood to antagonize, so I just let it go.

"I'll come along when it starts raining Cats and Dogs."

He brushes my sarcasm off and hits me with a dagger, "I talked to your mom earlier this week."

I close my eyes half shut and give him my 'are you kidding me face', "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope. We both agreed that you need to get out more and if you don't, she will fly out and take you out on the town herself. Or are middle-aged women more your speed?" He laughs at his own gest. And he's being serious. I wouldn't be surprised if my mom had Jacody's number on speed dial. She sees him as a second son. Oh and my mom, she's serious as well. Once she flew out to my college and took me to a buffet because I didn't eat while I was studying for midterms.

"You just really had to bring my mom into this, huh?"

"You really need to get out."

"Fine, fine, I'll come. But, just for an hour."

"Ha, that's more than I was expecting. It is a work event. Be on your best behavior." He wags his finger at me like I am some school child. We watch the rest of the movie and not going to lie, the new Popeye's chicken sandwich was pretty great. But, as with almost every night, Jacody gets a booty call text and he's out the door rushing to some girl's place. I know I said I love to be alone, but, I can't help feel that sudden ping of loneliness just right after he leaves. Maybe I do need to go out more.

"Considered the best movie of the summer, introducing Khlo..." SKIP FUCKING AD.

********

The weekend finally arrives and I am somewhat casually optimistic. There's nothing like being reminded of how lonely you are than your one and only friend leaving you for a booty call. While also being away for most nights after that. So, maybe this going out thing won't kill me.

Jacody may also be excited about my journey past the doorstep of our apartment. He even bought me some clothes that may be considered "cool". Some dark blue chinos, t-shirt, and a blazer. I guess this is considered cool? I don't know, but I like the fit.

"This is a special event tonight. I know you don't have any nice clothes. So, my stichfix box for the month is for you. You're welcome. You better get laid or else."

"Ha, greeeaaaattt." I say with an exaggerated tone and wide eyes.

*******

"Starring the first-ever tra..." SKIP AD, SKIP AD. And why are we going to a party that's 30 minutes away anyway? One thing about Jacody is that he is in the persistent pursuit of becoming a "somebody". Becoming a "somebody" in LA is like pursuing water after being dehydrated for six hours. Every time I check Instagram, he is always taking pictures with important people he just met. He is a networking maestro. I would not be surprised if, in the next year, he leaves me because he has enough money to live on his own. The constant pursuit of becoming a "somebody". While I am comfortable being a nobody. Why would I want people in my business, talking about me, criticizing my every move and word? I like my world, no expectations, no disappointment.

"Hey. Bro, stop staring into space. We are here. You never know, your life may change tonight. Let's go have some fun."

I doubt it. "Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming."

Remember when I said I was casually optimistic about tonight. Well, not anymore. The club is loud, dark, loud, strobe lights everywhere, loud, tons of people huddled into numerous groups, and did I mention it's LOUD.The music is so sort of mishmash of the top 25 songs on the radio mixed to EDM. But the worst, by far the worst, are the people talking over the music. I'm just going to slip out of here...

"Oh, no you're not Collin Conway." Jacody grabs the back of my collar just as I was literally trying to slip away. "Don't act like I can't see you in my peripheral. You promised an hour, then give me an hour. Come on, have some fun. Some great people are here."

Great people? All these people look the same. Same overpriced clothes, same fake smile, and probably the same conversation. I could be watching the best five-minute meals from Tasty. But nooo. I am now compelled to mingle with these people who are probably going to ask what college I went to and subsequently judge me for the college I went to. Fun.

I trailed Jacody through the massive amount of bodies. Going from conversation to conversation with what looks like people who all make over 130k a year. And they were talking about... well, I don't know to be honest. After the first five minutes, everything just sounded like noise. Just boring stuff like, we produced this movie, we produced that TV show, I contracted this actress and she made it big, and something about an actress coming in a new Tesla. Blah, blah, blah.

I had more "fun" people watching. Guys trying to pick up girls. Trying their smooth moves and getting rejected. One, in particular, had my attention. This cute, actually very cute, Asian girl was getting hit on by this obscenely tall, rich-looking guy. She was appeasing and amusing him all through the conversation. Laughing at his jokes, twirling her long black hair in a flirtatious way, and even gave him a light touch on the forearm. But, just as he came close to her and most likely whispered, "Do you want to come back to my place, sweet thing?" She just laughed and left the guy in the dust. The dumbfounded look on his face was worth it. He was so mad. Ahhh that was amusing.

As I probed the room more, I started to see faces that were eerily familiar. I think I saw someone I watched on Netflix a couple of weeks ago. And maybe that girl was on an episode of Euphoria. I was starting to feel like this party was a little above my social level and I already felt like I did not belong.

Then out of the blue, Jacody asks, "Hey buddy, can you go to the bar and get us some drinks?"

I just give him a head nod and make my treacherous way to the bar. Somehow Jacody and I ended up at the far end of the club and now I'm rubbing shoulders and having to sidestep all these people. Such a pain for these drinks.

I finally arrive at my destination, alive. "Hey man, what would you like?" Said the bartender with all the positivity that people want in their service people. The bar is empty. No one in sight. This may be my happy place here in hell.

But, that's also when I realized Jacody never said what he wanted. "Uggggghhh, whatever tastes good?" I give a shrug of my shoulders not knowing any drink other than sex on the beach because of its name.

He gives a good chuckle, noticing that I don't really belong here, "You got it bud, coming right up."

I'm sitting at the bar and I have a good tapping rhythm going on with my finger and foot which I could not hear because of the damn music. The bartender is making his concoction with such suave that if I was a girl I would've given him my number. I find it odd that I'm the only one here appreciating his talent. Everyone else is making conversation that they could do on any other given day.

As I continue to make my tapping music and people watching, a feminine voice calls out by the side of me, "Hey Stan! Rum Runner Daiquiri, please." She's wearing a lace dark blue dress that opens wide at the bust and its short enough to show off her smooth legs. She does not have the biggest tits, but her ass is definitely a head-turner in that dress.

"You got it, superstar." Another bartender appears and makes her drink in record time. Wait, Where's my drink? I've been waiting eight minutes.

She notices my confused look and teases me with, "You heard him, it's because I'm a star." Exaggerating the "star" and being sarcastic in every way possible. "See, the other guy is coming with your drink."

The bartender brings me one drink. "Wait, sir? Sir?..." He walks off attending to someone else who just walked up and looks far more important than me.

"I guess you needed two? Here, have my drink. I can get another one." She hands me my drink and says to the other bartender, "Stan, one more please." She says with a smile and a goodie girl head tilt.

"Anything for you, superstar. Excited for tonight?"

"Excited for it to be over." Just as she finishes her reply, Stan brings her another one of her rum runner dai-whatever it's called. But, I'm happy someone else other than me isn't totally happy with being here. Plus why does Stan keep calling her a star? Maybe it's just good customer service.

"So, who are you?" I pause at her question assessing whether it was directed to me. But her insistent eye contact lets me know that she is for sure asking me.

"I'm nobody." Her eyes go wide at my direct answer and she busts out laughing. But, that was when I recognized her. She was the Asian girl I was watching who stomped that guy's heart into the ground after playing with him.

"Ah man, that's a good one. But, no really, who are you? Are you an assistant to an executive, a bright-eyed horny intern, or some inheritance ass?"

"Neither, I am just a nobody. I got dragged here by my friend." I look around trying to find him and he's still mingling but this time closer to the bar. "Oh, there he is. Jacody over there."

"Ohhhh, you are friends with Mr. Popular, Jacody Austin." She says knowingly.

"How do you know him?"

"Girls talk."

"Oh, god," I say, a little dead inside, knowing what she means. Also, I may be a little disappointed she probably fucked him too. I lift off from my seat, prepared to take my drinks and join back up with Jacody.

But, she notices my reaction and reaches out to hold my arm, "Hey, hey I haven't had any personal experience. But, I bet you know your way around too." Her touch has me frozen. Her words have me shocked. But I feel compelled to stay there.

I gradually sit back down in my seat. I scoff at her words, "Ha, I wish. If any girls like to watch cooking videos all night, then pass them my way."

She twirls her hair around her finger, "I like to watch cooking videos." Her cute smile and blinking eyes have me off-kilter.

But I remember what she did to the last guy. I'm not getting trapped. So I deflect. "And who might you be, Ms. Superstar."

And with that cute ass smile, she says, "I'm Khloe. And like you said, I'm a superstar." And for the first time in the night, maybe a few months, I laugh, relax, and enjoy myself. "I'm Collin and as I said, I'm a nobody."

Khloe has this calming effect. She exudes cool and I can see why that guy was dead inside when she rejected him. I can already tell she has an addicting personality. I find myself needing to reply with something interesting just so she keeps talking. Watching her expressions, for example, watching her eyes dart in exaggeration, her eyes go wide when something interesting comes up, and the way her arms and hands flail around when she is saying something exciting. And I can't stop looking at her long eyelashes as she blinks and makes all kinds of invigorating expressions.

It felt like she had a key to unlocking everything about me. I divulged my wants and dreams. How my job and all the people I deal with there sucks. How I want to start my own bakery business and share my passion for baking with people. And she just sits there and indulges me as if, for that moment, whatever I'm saying means something. I try to get more out of her. But, she deflects and turns everything back to me. As if she was tired of talking about herself all night. Of course, it came through my mind why she was talking to me. But I didn't care. I was intoxicated and it wasn't because of her rum whatever it's called.

"Spell it out dai-qui-ri"

"Dekikirri?"

"God, you are insufferable. I have to pee, I'll be right back." She gets up and her arm runs across my forearm while I watch her cute butt from behind as she goes to the bathroom. And as I turn back around, Mr. Stan has to be right there waiting for me.

"You lucky duck. She's a great one." And hands me my fourth rum runner daiquiri of the night. Ah, look I said it correct this time.

As I sip my drink, I notice she is taking a while to come back. That sense of loneliness comes over me again. Maybe she is playing with me as she did with the last guy. Maybe she struck up a conversation with someone else. Of course, I meet someone the one night I go out and it just happens they were wasting time with me to get through the party. She wouldn't want me, no way.

I pull out my phone and turn to good and trusty YouTube.

I can faintly hear it with the loud music. But an ad plays, "Introducing 2021 LGBT actor of the year Khl..." SKIP AD. I can't. I just want to get back to my video and...

"You must really hate it here if you're watching YouTube. Movie premiere parties aren't your thing?"

I instantly turn around to the sound of her voice. " I don't think so. Too many people." I can't hold back my smile. I think she reapplied some perfume that smells like flowers and lip gloss because both are distinctly more noticeable.

"Yeah, all these rich folks are a drag. Wanna get out of here then?"

It feels like my heart skipped a beat to her words. I want to. But what if she's messing with me. This vixen probably gets off to toying with men. But then again, as I look her up and down, she's worth the embarrassment.

"Please, yes." It feels like my answer is taking forever to reach her ears. I'm perfectly okay if she denies me. No, check that, I'll be just as mad as that other guy. But it's just that what if.

"Nah, never mind." Fuuuuuuuck. This. Witch.

I turn back around, defeated, embarrassed, asham...

I feel a tap on my shoulder "Come on downer, I'm playing with you. Let's get out of here."

"I hate you."

"Good, I have a couple of hours to make you love me then. And I don't lose." To be honest I think I already... no no no. I won't be that sucker that falls in love after 2 hours. Just go slow. She just means love as in friends, right? Right?

She grabs me by the hand and hurries me out of the club. I think just about everyone said bye to her while giving her the brightest smile as we passed by. Maybe she is Ms. Superstar. We pass by Jacody and he has the absolute most shocking face staring at us as leave the club.

*******

We get outside and it's pouring. How the hell is it raining this hard in LA? I take my blazer and pull it over my head to cover the both of us.

"Such a gentleman."

"Everything I'm wearing is my roommates, so it's fine."

"We can stay out here all night then."

"God no, please call an Uber."

"Mmm, No need. I have something better." Seconds later, the nicest SUV I have ever seen arrives where we are standing.

The window rolls down and the driver yells out, "get in Ms. Huan, it's Raining Cats and Dogs out here.

"Thanks, Travis! I'm bringing along a friend."

"Sure, get in, get in." We rush to the door and she opens it and I hop in with her following me. Before I can get my seat belt on, Travis drives off in the LA traffic.

I examine the car and it's pretty nice. Leather heated seats and I think I feel my back being massaged. Oooh, that's nice. The car almost looks futuristic in a way. Khloe must be rich.

Right after we take off, Khloe asks, "Travis, remind me what you think of trans girls." What a random question by Khloe.

In that tone most drivers have of short, assertive, and direct, Travis says, "if they don't bother me, I don't bother them. As with all people."

"And what about you, Collin?" She bats her eyes at me, waiting for me to answer.

"I never met a trans person before let alone talked to one. But I'm fine with everyone. I'm not short-sighted like my parents." I reply shyly, uncertain of my answer.

Travis and Khloe are both holding back a laugh, "you have met one silly." And once again she says, "Hi I'm Khloe, certifiably trans."

She holds out her hand as we are sitting just a few feet away from each other in her car. I meet her halfway, shake it, and say awkwardly, "Nice to meet you?"

"Did I scare you?" For the first time in the night, she seems unsure and vulnerable.