All Comments on 'Night Deposit'

Great story. Will there be more night deposits? Wonderful to have you back Sophie.

More please

I guess part 2 will take up but if i had realized it was a series i would not have read it. And was it necessary to paint the husband as a total dumb azz? You dont stay married to skanks like the wife you get the trash out.

I'm not thrilled with the wimpy nature of the protagonist. Yeah, you try to add masculinity by referring to his job (Coach) and to his past (Army), but his actions speak louder than words.

And, WHY has he not ALREADY gone to a lawyer. In 1964 California had not yet embraced "no fault" divorce so he could have protected himself financially from most of California's divorce bias against men.

That was very well written and had a couple of nice twists in the story.

I'm certain that I'm not alone in hoping there is a part 2 in the offing.

Thanks again

I'm curious to know how this will end, so I'll refrain from making any final comments right now. For the moment though, Vince seems like a very weak man. (Nancy having stolen ALL his money should've utterly crushed his love for her, yet he still seems like he's ready to take her back the moment she said "sorry".)

Anyway, waiting for the next chapter.

It seems to dance around like a will-o'wisp. Both the hesitant behaviour of the loving protagonist and the style makes me wonder if the author is new incarnation of Angiquesophie? One of the better authors around, and very unpopular with the real man tribe.

I'll wait to vote until I find out if there is a part 2 becuase this is good as a first chapter and horrible if this is the end to it. I have to agree with others though, Vince so far seems like a first class wimp. But any man who is afraid to confront his first wife in a restaurant, or confront her when he finds out is sure missing his balls. Not that a wimp can't be the main character in a story. However, great stories need to have likeable characters and this one is sure missing that. So far. Maybe he redeems himself. Still, great writing.

I feel as though I missed whole paragraphs! I kept paging up to see what I had missed.

You have to have a second chapter. Where did Belle come from? Was there a fight? Why was Nancy limping? What happened in the divorce? Where did all the money go that he transferred? What happened to Mandy? See what I mean???????

Great start, I'm intrigued to learn of our tellers errant ways.

keep it simple.

I am totally confused.

How does a bright yellow car become blue from one paragraph to the next?

In agreement with other commentators, the story doesn't flow and it certainly doesn't have an ending.

There had better be another chapter to improve on the two stars I rated it.

Happen????????

Really hard to follow or I must be dense.

Come on Cal Beach Girl, you can't leave us hanging like this. It was a little difficult keeping up with the jumps in the story line, but the ending was like the middle of the story. By the way, did he ever tell his wife she had a social disease? I think the time for that was right there at the door.

You do need to do some editing on your story, some details were not very accurate to the story.

Dear and gentle readers...

I appreciate your comments very much...

As one said, divorce in the 60s was not something that you did and not so much an escape clause as it is today.

Is it so hard to understand that a man will love someone enough to put up with lots of things as long as he still believes that there is love there. How many stories have we seen, in print and in real life, or a couple staying together that no one else can understand why?

Yes, there was a mistake about the color of the car... the 'vette was originally yellow but one friend pointed out that yellow didn't exist that year so it was changed to blue; the '57 was blue custom paint.

What would be the point of dragging through the story the divorce proceedings? we all know what would have taken place, especially with adultry as a cause.

If you read carefully, which some people obviously haven't, he was friends with both Esther and Mary (Belle) before he was ever divorced and then for some time after.

The two women both loved him, as did Nancy, for that matter. Those of you with more life experience should have realized that Nancy is bi-polar and that was the root cause of their problems. She wasn't evil, she was SICK!

Mary so loved Esther and Vince that she was willing to wait... she felt that Esther's life was bad enough that she deserved a last chance for love before it was too late.

Yes, the story jumps a bit... it's called flashback. Given the way the website prints out the fonts, most regular indications of what happened are not available without really working with HTML and I don't have the time to do that.

I hoped that most readers were willing to invest enough time to pay attention to the story... don't our minds jump around when we think?

Evidently, chapter 2 came out first. I'm sorry, I have no control over that and don't understand how that happened.

The last chapter, 3, will at least attempt to explain what happened between the remaining three characters and why Nancy was the way she was.

I'm sorry I didn't capture the mindset of a man very well. I'm a girl, well, at least a 30 year old girl, whose had a damn rough life. I can only imagine what it would be like... after all, don't we have writers who imagine all kinds of impossible things on these pages? At least, I didn't throw in impossible men with three foot long...

Yes, I like writing romances. I wrote at the beginning, it was a 'romance'...

For those of you who stuck through it, thank you. For those of you who couldn't figure out what was going on, well, damn, get a fucking clue and learn to think a little more sophisticated than a simple, chronological story that requires no thinking.

I guess my mistake was thinking that the reader was able to think about underlying causes and the sadness that is a part of all love stories. Nothing is ever perfect.

I suppose that your 'throw her to the curb' attitude is the first response for your caveman mentality.

Vince did divorce her when it was no longer tenable to stay with her... the husband is always the last to know, as has constantly been repeated here.

Maybe, when some of you actually do find someone to love and cherish, you will realize that life and love isn't that simple, at all.

I hope that you all enjoy the raisin chocolate cookies given at the end of chapter 3.

Thank you for listening.

Sophia, the calibeachgirl

another awesome story it start out slow for me but you never let me down it got better and better till in th end i wanted more thank you for this story it rand a few bell of my life. brilliant .

This story has been chopped, reassembled and/or rewritten, sometimes out of order. It would be best to retract the whole series and correct the timeline, misspellings and poor sentence structure.

And I was very pleasantly surprised at this story and this Author very competent and even wonderful interpretation of her feelings and thoughts. All thru this Author project this lovely feminine feelings that are a balm to any heart.

Very well done Sophie and good luck for the future Writings. Ross

which foster lies and deceits. TK U MLJ LV NV

"Little whorish? I know, but there's nothing I can do about that." I was dying with laughter. Great story, messed up situation.

The writing was well done and I had no problems with the language usage, but a story doesn't refer several times to things found out later and then end with no follow up. This is as bad as Just Plain Bob.

This lady is second best author on this site, by any gender writer. I have thoroughly enjoyed all your stories. That doesn't happen often at all ! I am impressed. Thank you.

(roscovich)

Or you do. The transitions! It was like literary ADHD.

Five stars. Not sure how I missed this one.

"So, she was a Negro... she was still a person who deserved respect"

The shame is that you don't even realize just how condescending and insulting that statement is...

As to the story... Your protagonist isn't reality based... Considering the situations he's been faced with there is no way in the world that he would be in doubt about dumping this bitch... His confusion is extremely unrealistic... She gave him the clap f'crisakes... And bragged to her lover about giving him her ass... And vowed that her hubby would never get it because it was his alone... And this is the bitch he's in confusion about dumping... Get real...

-jaye-

The style of writing is hard to follow with all the jumping around so I not exactly sure who is talking to who at times.

1 star. It was a very well written story, but the whole idiotic "oh i love her, oh i don't want the doctor to think she's a slut even though she is and he thinks it's my fault" and other BS.... that guy deserves all the bad things in his life for his sheer stupidity.