All Comments on 'Night Music in the Park'

Interesting story!

5

What a genuinely nice, sweet story! I really enjoyed that. I feel like a lot of stories struggle with the pacing when they try to cover a lot of time relatively briefly, but your whole setup with basically everything being a recollection of memories solved that problem beautifully. Great job!

I don't think it deserves another story unless you go into more detail on Gabe and Carol's romance and marriage, but you should have continued to introduce Carol & Rebecca as well as bring Tom into the story so that we could get to know the important characters. As it was, the story was all about Gabe and Rebecca's relationship in high school, and his current marraige was pretty much irrelevant to the story.

I suppose you can call the story sweet, but there was a time when it would have been real for most of us.

it seems very incomplete

Just long enough. We can imagine whatever follow-ups we want.

Beautiful story. I love the way you built it up slowly, and made it to a very satisfying end. It does make me curious how Rebekah's life has moved on; it's nice to know that, probably, it is a curiosity that we share with Gabe. For me, the story is perfect the way it is.

Perhaps there could have been more said about her partner Tom but if it's simply a story about their first romance then it's sufficient and well done.

Thanks. 5 stars.

A wonderful coming of age story, well written. I admit that the outcome left me wanting something different.

4th 5star one... and you still suck at endings, and this one was really egregiously left hanging in the air...

That said, one something I haven't pointed out in my previous comments... The way you write the more sexy bits is actually pretty damn good, which in the romance category isn't always the case.

So, I'm just going to have to read a couple more of your stories and both enjoy and complain about them...

Let's see what you've got to offer in other categories... ^^

Alright, second comment since when I re-read my original comment and I re-read the end I was left with both embarrassment for the atrocious mistakes I made in my English, but more importantly...

I was left with the sort of feeling that this story would have had a better place in Loving Wives, rather than in the Romance section.

At a second read I was sort of left with an uncomfortable feeling the in fact nothing was really resolved here...

The romance between Gabe and Rebekah wasn't resolved, nor was the marriage between Gabe and his actual wife addressed in any way shape or form.

The whole thing kinda got glossed over, but as much as you insisted upon Gabe loving his wife and children, after the first page, they just disappeared from the story.

There was no resolution here...

It's one thing to throw out interesting story lines, now figure out how to tie off the knots!

This was a real puzzle. I enjoyed the part that the author wrote down, but I can't seem to find the second half. Maybe it got lost on the West Coast. Does this author believe that he/she wrote a complete story? I often comment that sometimes the author presents some characters and their activities and leaves it up to us to finish it to our own liking. But this wasn't even part of a story. It's sort of the introduction to a story and the real tale is yet to come. I rated it 4*, because i liked what was written, but it really deserved a 2* or worse as a complete package. I don't think I'll bother with any more of his/her stories.