No.3 Death of Caring

My first life.

I'm Jim, this is just how I lost the will to care, for anybody, even myself ever again.

I'm just an everyday man nothing special, and now a completely different man from who I was, who I thought I was.

I met my first wife and without going into much details I thought we were going to have a forever life of love and life time happiness, little did I know.

14 years later one afternoon just as we had finished lunch together, it being a day off of work for both of us, she looked at me and just said that she wanted to part, she had decided that she wanted kids.

I have to explain here that when we were just going out 16 years ago we had had the conversation about what we wanted in life what we didn't want in life and it was agreed that kids were not for us, it had never come up in any conversation between us or even in conversations with friends, it just had never been an issue.

Was it her or was it me?

To say I was surprised, to say I had the ability to speak taken from me was the biggest understatement you could imagine.

I think I looked at her totally dumb, she did have the decency to look uncomfortable but told me that she had been going mad trying to make her decision and not hurt me, but she had talked to lots of people, but not me, and she had decided that she had to follow her mindset.

I tried to talk to her but she wasn't going to listen or change her mind now that she had told me.

I was in shock, devastated, didn't know how to react or even understand what she said if the truth be known.

I asked what she saw happening now, today, and this is where I see with great hindsight, mine's 20/20 top of the class, that I made my first mistake of so many in my future.

I moved into the spare bedroom.

I moved, I don't think I had the strength to cry that afternoon, she helped me move my clothes, made the bed up, and left me alone, then about half an hour later she came back to what was now my bedroom and stripped off and said I could have a last time with her.

That was the second mistake.

I took her up on having sex with her there and then, it wasn't good, it wasn't even average from what we had had between us before, I don't really remember much about it, yes I rode her, yes I'm sure that I filled her pussy with my cum but I have no idea what I did or didn't do with or for her pleasure, and that was a first for me with her.

Life as they say just went downhill from there, as I rose the next morning put a mask on my face and went to work, and putting a mask on every morning has been how I cope from that day forward.

I'v tried to do everything and act normal, but I was dead inside.

For the next 6 months we lived in the house, not together in any way, sometimes we eat together but we shared nothing else, one day she told me that she had been able to get money in place so she could buy me out of the house.

My third mistake, I let her.

I moved back in with my mum and dad, not what I ever expected to do again, and moved to a rented flat as soon as I could.

My one treat was a lottery ticket every week, and I won, not millions and millions, but more than a enough, more than I would ever need, I never told anyone, I took the lottery people's advice and got on with my life and went looking for a place to buy. I had my own money adviser Bill, an accountant who guided me through the tax and other money issues that might come along with time.

This is where I changed, I became 2 different people, work and home, at work I was a hard person, I was the boss, I had the money, at home I tried to be my normal self, this is where I started to separate myself, I became friends with Bill, we started to talk about money and how to invest it best, but that story can wait till later, on with my home life.

I went round all the local estate agents in the area, looked at lots but couldn't find anything I really liked, until, I got a call from my favourite agent who had come across something that might just take my interest, it turned out that 2 semidetached houses attached to each other were up for sale, that doesn't happen very often.

I liked the area and houses, I brought both, cash, so a quick sale and I was now the owner of a project making one large home that would keep me busy for as long as I wanted.

I introduced myself to my neighbours, there was only 5 other houses in our road, 4 of them were families with kids, and the last was a couple who had lived there for years and years, Peter and Liz they were in their 60's, we hit it off from day one, every time I did anything in my homes, they would call round and view my work, one day they made the comment that they wished they'd sold me their house, which I thought was an odd thing to say.

This is where I went mad, really, cutting a long boring story short I had clinical depression, when I eventually went to the doctors they put me on all sorts of pills.

To get me back to normal was the idea, after about 9 months I was sent to a daycare ward in a building that was the local health department's in the next town, it was a group thing, we met and "talked" well some did, I listened, we had relaxing music, whale song, that sort of thing, as a group we were a real mixed bunch of odd balls, but there was one woman who was there before I started who after I had been there for about a month started to sit next to me, started to talk to me more than the others, I started to look at her with more than a grin as I saw her in a much different light, she had a body that to my mind was made to pleasure a man, her legs went on forever, and the boobs were stunning from what I could see.

We were told that we shouldn't tell each other where we lived, or personal things, so we didn't get into any relationships I assumed, well in one of the group chats I was asked by the nurse what I was thinking right now.

Looking back I shouldn't have told her what I was thinking, but in the moment I just said.

"I think Mandy's legs are the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and I would love to get to put my head between them for an hour or so."

The room went quiet, then everyone but the nurses bursted into laughter.

Mandy went red looked at me and said OK....

Head nurse escorted me out of the room, and I was read the riot act, they couldn't have us mixing etc. etc.

When we went home Mandy was told to go first, me last, I found her waiting by the car park entrance.

"Did you mean what you said back there?"

So I told her that I was most certainly sure that she had the best legs I had ever seen, and that I would love to see more of her.

Mandy made a phone call, I drove her back to my home, and we didn't leave for 2 days.

If you have read the page of information that you get with prescription drugs it always tells you what side affects are possible, well I found that what they had me on, they added to the strength of my erection, BUT, I couldn't cum, I had been warned, Mandy had not.

Mandy and I fucked, and fucked, and fucked, after I had made her cum multiple times she asked for a rest, I had to oil her pussy up after her third rest period, just to get in, her lips were red and swollen, both sets.

Some way through the second day Mandy was giving me tit wanks just to keep me from her pussy and mouth, and then she had me use her rear, it had never been in my mind before, but I thought that it might help me cum, it was tight, I oiled it up and tried something new.

It didn't help me cum faster, but I had put a condom on to keep it clean between us, and we went riding for the afternoon, Mandy was a true 3 hole girl, she took everything I gave her and seemed to enjoy herself as much as I was, well I was getting mad as I said earlier, the pills kept me hard as a rock but I couldn't cum very often, after some sleep, food breaks, showers and just time to talk, we had tried more positions than I had ever before, but she took me by surprise when I was riding her doggie style and she slipped a finger in my rosebud, she found my prostrate and stroked it, within 30 seconds I came a bucket load, without thinking I moved back to her arse and filled that up as well, she kept her finger moving as we disconnected and as she slid round I covered her face as well.

I was spent in every way possible, we feel asleep, the sleep of the dead.

In the morning we dressed and went for breakfast, we both had a smile on our faces, I took her home.

We met the following day back at the clinic, the staff knew something was going on but not what.

I took her home again, I had her stripped down and wet as the sea, riding her pussy hard trying to cum, she fingered me, I filled her up pulled out and covered her front, brow to tits.

"My boyfriend says to say thank you, but from now on you will have to pay like anyone else."

I never thought she had a boyfriend, let alone he pimped her out, but the penny dropped, she was a Tom, on the game, woman of the night whatever you wanted to call it.

Now I saw the warnings from the nurses, they couldn't tell me about her could they.

I begged off saying I didn't buy sex, she laughed and asked me what I thought I was doing with a wife, if a pussy was exclusive then you paid for the privilege one way or another, but today was today and she saw it that paying was for tomorrow, we had another good time.

She told me that somehow me using her the way I had last time, it cleared her head and she wasn't going back to the clinic again.

When I went back I had a talk with the nurse and was tested for STD's etc. it was a wake up call for me.

I didn't recover overnight but I slowly got better, as an aside one night leaving a theatre with a lady friend Mandy appeared at my side, kissed my neck and thanked me for curing her, my companion looked shocked as Mandy toddled off in 4 inch heels, the skirt was only just covering the cheeks of her arse, where you couldn't see any sign of underwear, it took a long time explaining Mandy to my friend.

Peter and Liz, remember? My neighbours, took me out for lunch one day and explained they had seen that their son was going to sell the house as soon as he could, and they thought that his wife Beth deserved much better than him, they really liked her but sad to say don't like how their own son had turned out, if the power of attorney was enforced as they got older they could see the son selling their home and spending the money and they would end up in a bad situation, let alone knows what his wife would get, probably a divorce if they were to guess.

I asked what they had in mind, I'd never let anyone know I had money so couldn't see how they thought I could help. They asked if I could find a way to buy them out and rent it back to them.

"We see you visit the accountant in town, often, so we have made some assumptions, we hope we don't offend you but we are getting desperate."

Ok maybe my cover is blown, astute people, but I could see that they were being as honest as they could be, so without confirming anything we discussed how they saw it happening.

I ended up owning it, they paid rent, under the going rate but it had to be seen as a business transaction later, the money I paid was put in a trust fund for their daughter in law Beth, unknown to anyone else, and life went on.

Our road had get togethers now and then, BBQ's a party at Christmas time and some birthday do's, we all had fun even the kids, but it came as a surprise when Bob pulled me over, introduced Susan and asked if I would show his sister in law, my house. I had noticed a woman with Bob and Anne but hadn't thought much about her, but being the gentleman I was said that if she didn't mind tomorrow would be better as I was in the middle of some work and didn't want her to get dirty or hurt.

I didn't want anybody seeing my work putting cameras around the place I thought to myself, but it would be cleaned up tomorrow afternoon, they thanked me and we chatted and mixed for the rest of the evening's BBQ.

Now I hadn't been a monk after my wife's bombshell, I wasn't totally deprived but I did enjoy sex as much as the next man.

I had the money to buy what I needed to keep myself happy, I wasn't looking for a long term relationship, but I wasn't going to refuse a certainty of getting a woman in my bed for a romp, more than a 1 night stand wasn't unusual, more than a month was, 1 women, well young woman was the office gofer in my friend Bill's office, the second time I went in after she had started, she was dressed in a short skirt and plunging necked top, I made the comment to Bill that she must be a distraction, he smiled and told me that he had already had words with her, but today was the first time it had happened and it was a shame as he liked to look as well. We shared a smile.

On my way out, Kat as she liked to be called, passed me an envelope." Read it when you get home."

I read it in the lift going down, it went something like, Please excuse me being so forward, but I have to say that I want you, please take me to dinner and I'll be your desert. Kat.

Blunt, bloody hell, and I hadn't got out of the lift, my phone binged telling me I had a text, a picture text, " what should I ware? 3 choices, well I'v never been chased by a woman who didn't hold back with what she wanted before.

Picture 1 much as saw her in today.

Picture 2 a catsuit, looked like leather or something similar, zipped up half way, boobs oozing through the gap.

Picture 3, she, I think it was her as the face wasn't showing, was in a corset, g string and stockings with high heels, very high heels, very very high heels.

Bloody hell.

I replied that picture 1 had to do as I could not think of anywhere I could take her dressed as in the others, much as I might like No.3.

My phone binged again smiley face and another picture, this was of her, you could see her face in this one, on her hands and knees looking backwards, tits hanging, legs splayed open and you could see the glistening around her pussy.

"Just something to think about till you pick me up later, 7.30." and her address.

I wasn't late, nervous but not late. She must have taken a long time on her makeup, she looked amazing, the dress was short, very short, it was also holding her boobs in place, just, how I really couldn't work out, I later learned they were held up in a shelf bra, nipples on show to everyone, and they were a stunning pair of nipples as well, I don't think I have ever, even to this day seen such long hard nipples, they begged to be sucked, plucked, chewed, and worshipped. We'll get to those later I thought to myself.

The bright red lipstick was looking great, it made no bones that those lips were made for kissing and sucking cock, you couldn't see them and not think about it. She drew me inside the door, pushed it nearly closed, gave me a kiss to die for, ran a long fingernail over my cock, squatted down unzipped me, drew me out with some difficulty looking into my eyes said.

"Let's take the edge off you for now. And proceeded to give me a great blow job, took every drop I had and swallowed, rose, smiled and redid her lipstick.

Feed me some vegetables, I'll get more protein later lover.

Well what we ate, talked about I have no idea, but everyone noticed her, everyone.

She played up to the crowd, even the waitress couldn't help but look, the cheeky girl wiggled around as our waitress came to ask if we wanted a dessert, without looking at me Kat looked her in the eyes and smiled.

No tonight I'm his dessert, tomorrow you can be ours if your up for it? Go and put these on for me and gave her her g string.

I was as red as I ever had been, when I asked for the bill, Kat ran her hand up the waitress leg, have you put them on? Can I feel? As our table was against the wall and where she was standing nobody could see where Kats hand was, I could tell by how her eyes and legs moved as Kat played with her, I left a cash tip for her, she left her phone number on the bill.

That night I was fucked silly, never before have I had such a woman, well apart from Mandy.

She knew just what to do, she had 5, yes 5 loads out of me overnight, looking back I now can't tell you if she came at all, she was wet as a ditch, smooth as silk, made lots of noise in all the right places but I'm not sure she was doing anything more than how a good actress was in a play on stage, she phoned up work in the morning and told them she had an emergency and she wasn't going to come in the rest of the week, all while trying to make me hard again. Sorry to say I was a lost cause that morning.

I took her home and she packed a bag and we returned to mine, while she was packing I looked round and saw that a man lived here with her, he wasn't home, but it was a 1 bedroom apartment, with Kat's approach to sex, and willingness he was definitely boning her, I began to think, ok she knows that I have money because of where she worked, I just don't know how much of a patsy they thought I would be, still let's go have a week of sex, let us have some fun.

Kat phoned the waitress and 2 nights later I had my first 3some, I think it was hers as well but not Kats, she led us all the way through it, it was fun.

After 2 weeks of the best sex I could ever dream of, Kat started the conversation as she sucked and stroked me back to hardness for the third time this night.

"I think you need to buy me a ring soon, before I show, I'm pregnant." All said between the root and the crown of my cock, every word between a bob of her head.

It was a shame, but as I expected all good things came to an end.

"Well the one thing that's clear is that you have been fucking someone else then, I can't have children, I fire blanks, maybe it's Danny, you know Danny you share the flat with?"

I'd done my homework, well I paid someone to look into her, the look on her face, she let go of me, started to cry, no it's got to be your baby, then she realised what I had said, her face turned from the beautiful to the ugly in a blink of an eye.

"I'll say you have been rapeing me, I'll make your life miserable, I want paying, I want."

I stopped her.

"look Kat you can't say we haven't had fun can you?

Yes you put on a super act for me, but it was just sex, as you kept telling me every day, several times a day, and I have every single second of every single day on camera, everything you said, every single phone call to Danny you made in my house! Do you think I worry about what other people think of me? When I post pictures and videos of us on line, do you think that I'm going to be upset? Get real, get dressed I'll call Danny to come over to pick you up. I reached for my phone, called Danny, who was so surprised that it was me calling.

He was lost for words but 30 minutes later I escorted Kat out to his car, as I helped her in I gave her an envelope, Payment in full, you asked for nothing but I remember that you gave away a g string and we laddered your stockings so here is £100.

I must say you have been and probably will always be the best sex partner I have every had and I will miss you a lot, but I know you were only going for the money, I hope that you find what you really want from life and soon, but it was never going to be with me was it Kat, goodbye Danny, Kat, please don't think you can come back and hurt me, if I suffer any form of pain to me or my home I will come after you both, have a good life."

They drove away, Kat phoned a couple of times asking if I could take her out and that she would be desert, I told her as kindly as I could that I couldn't trust her again, much as I wanted to, much as I loved the sex we wouldn't be going to bed together again.

So back to the story about Susan from the street party.

The following afternoon she knocked on the door, I showed her around and she surprised me by making some suggestions that after I thought about them they were right, silly things like which bedroom was to be the master, because of how the sun would wake me of a morning, which would be better and why, how the kitchen would be so much better moving that there and those away from there, I had made a pot of tea and later we sat and had a glass of wine, she was easy to get along with, easy on the eyes, she had a good body not that she was showing much but I could see that she was all woman, the next morning Anne called round, I offered coffee.