All Comments on 'No.3 Death of Caring'

What happened to wide number 1?

Why were the "mistakes" in the early part of the story mistakes (or even relevant to the story)?

2*

Awful

Wasn't what I expected, lacked depth in my opinion but that's just me, I always find the first 2 paragraphs and the opening line tell me if a story is going to be good, average or rubbish, you just about boarderlined on average nearly was rubbish. You never gripped my attention from the word go.

Doesn't have to be steaming sex or murder at the start it just has to be good enough for a reader to want to read more rather than back skip to another story or forward skip to write a comment.

Ask the other more regular writers on the site for help on how to start a story to make it interesting, and how to fill it out without depressing the reader and wanting slit their wrists.

You may have used real life experience, which isn't complete guessing at the style of writing your ain't in a retirement home thus still have a massive way to go to gain real life experience. Hope you do better next time.

A long drawn out story that went nowhere.

Author concluded "I don't care what you think, I could have been much worse." Maybe, but story could not have been.

No idea what this was, but it wasn't a coherent strory.

Don’t guide get this one. Kind of like the OldTwit in Chief JB’s tall tales.

this isnt a story it's an exercise in free form writing.

Wow, that was hard to read.

That definitely didn't belong in LW. No wife or girlfriend after the first few paragraphs.

Fetish, or non-consent is where it belongs.

The story was more a stream-of-consciousness. No character development. No emotional drama. It was just a man inflicting his pain on women. And they were into it. Yeah, fetish is the right place for this post.

Gave it 2⭐️s.

I was bored as

*

*

*

*

AMerryman

Need a proof reader

DOL