by Hypoxia
But it's not really erotica. There's also one instance of a "Kelly" in the story which shouldn't be there.
You seem to have a problem with the proper usage of commas and semicolons. You might want to research that before writing anything else.
I don't know what "lightly decent" means. Eyes don't "squinch" or "squeak."
"Don't fight it if you know what's good for you." She sneered." Should be a comma after "you" and small "s" in sneered.
An editor might be a good idea.
It was a riveting story. I like it when the bad guy gets their comeuppance.
Also, I wish you could comment from the app. I signed in online to say I really enjoyed this story. Thanks.
5, and favorited.
In many 'revenge' tales it's the wronged one who seeks redress / retaliation. I took a different track. Here, it's the rescuer who dominates, who takes action against all who caused harm -- but within limits. The miscreants will be able to go on with their shitty lives after the roadhouse gang has their fun. I invite anyone to write follow-ups.
I took it as a serious tongue in cheek story and thought it was great for that. Thanks for sharing!
-Ahaz
It was a good story, its isn't supposed to be real. If you don't like it, write a better one!
I guess you missed my opening warning: "It's a twisted stroker fantasy; do not expect any reality or original ideas."
Uncle Todd's semen produces light? I'm sorry, but the story just spiraled from average incest fantasy to absolute stupidity right there. Nevermind that it wasn't even a very good "burn-the-bitch(es)" story. Too much stupidity. Oh, and the databses where police and courts keep actual arrest filings (not the records, but actual evidentiary filings and warrants) are on sequestered servers. You can't hack what isn't connected to the internet. I gave it 3 stars because I'm feeling generous, but it really doesn't deserve that high a rating.