All Comments on 'No Paradise by the Dashboard Light'

a chapter 2 or, even 2&3

Meatloaf would be proud!

Just Wait for it... I've to 2 more chapters done if anyone is interested in reading them that is.

Good story

But please proof read for spelling error.......feel is when you touch someone or something not fell.........you got blimps of her panties i know you meant glimps

First of all it's fiction, you said it.

Second, We have a horny Brother with a drooling hardon, with his cock head sticking out of his shorts.

Thirdly, A turned on Sister in hot boy shorts, with a dripping cunt,

Leaving a wet spot on the couch, and her tits on display.

Fourthly, They are dry humping on each other, his drooling cock head is mingling with her dripping pussy lips. Her hard pink nipples pressing against his chest.

Finally, We know they fucked, but we want the sequence in which they did it.

Possibility. # 1, As I would have done, Make a big show of taking my shorts off, and waving my dripping cock in front of her face, which would get her to lick and suck it.

Giving her a load of my baby batter to swallow.

# 2, Make a big show of taking her panties off, and eating her pink wet cunt until she drenched my face with her girl cum.

# 3, Just pull her panties to the side, and slip my drooling cock head in that tight dripping cunt of hers.

# 4, We just want to cum, like the both of them.

You and Soul71 should get together and buy "Grammar for those who failed English"

Now before I continue let me tell you was talk about things, but not in details

WTF ? Is that supposed to mean something?

When she left the room I caught a blimps of her panties under the shirt.

Blimps?

Grammar Police... I love it.. Anyway I've been a long time reader, and yes it takes away sometimes from the story, but I would rather read it than not.. I'm glad you were into the story enough to enjoys and actually read it. Shoot me some feedback of grammar errors and I will fix it.. and I will got back and edit some of the details and where it is not consistent. I'm sorry for these.. Maybe I could use a good editor. you will find I write the way I write.. I personally prefer stories that leave a little of the detail to the imagination, and i'll work on getting more graphic. You will notice, not details on 36D cups and no 10 inch cocks.

Keep up the constructive comments, I'm new to writing and can use them. I have 3 more chapters of this story to submit, and working on another. I'm enjoying it a lot, and just letting it flow.

On second thought, forget sleep. I can give you your single star, right now! This was an absolute piece of dreck, and now ranks as one of the five worst stories I've ever rad on Literotica!

You might have a story here. You just didn't build it right or carry it out. Stop and think about how real people might act and react before posting it.

He caught a blimps of her panties. Really?!!!

Before you post a story please learn the english language.

I liked it

I am with the author on this one if you as a reader can't fill in the missing bits perhaps you should try using a little imagination.