(No) Strings Attached Ch. 03

Thanks to D and Wikipedia for telling me about Oklahoma City.

Chapter Three: A Situationship Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

I woke in the morning, my hip possessively hanging over Liam's leg. He was still asleep, looking messy and soft in the hotel room's faint light. It was strange to see him so... vulnerable. I wanted to kiss him, to rub my whole body against him and then wake him up with my mouth around his cock. Unfortunately, I was too afraid to do such a thing. The night before had been lovely, but it had messed with me a bit. Liam had always been attractive, but out of reach. Aloof. Dickish. Now he was way more approachable, and it wasn't just because he'd been inside me. He'd confided in me about his girlfriend breaking his heart, which only reminded me he had a heart to break. I was a sucker for emotionally unavailable men to start with; I didn't have much hope for myself with Liam. Alexis had been right that I wasn't exactly cut out for this, but I'd never tell her, even when this fragile situationship with Liam was over.

I pulled my leg away carefully and moved off the bed. My shirt was nowhere to be found so I tugged on Liam's, and I was lucky enough to find my panties in a ball under it. My phone said it was early, too early to be up, but I needed coffee, water, a hot shower, a therapist and, most of all, distance. It was true casual sex wasn't my thing, and while I didn't necessarily regret the night before, I wasn't sure how to process it all yet. Surely the rest of my list would help me, specifically coffee.

But then Liam shifted in bed. I looked up at the sound and he met my anxious gaze. "So, you're sneaking out, huh?"

"Um."

If the sight of an asleep Liam had wowed me, the look of him tired and rumpled did something else entirely. I even put a hand to my chest in an unconscious effort to keep my heart there.

"That's okay," he said on a stretch. The sheets parted to expose his long naked body and incredibly hard cock. "Just don't freak out for long. I need you to come back and take care of this for me." He put his hand around it and stroked.

All thoughts of leaving simply vanished. I climbed back on the bed, ignoring the voice in my head saying I should be a little embarrassed about my eagerness. We kissed when I was finally once again wrapped around him and then something occurred to me. I pulled away and studied him closely.

"You don't taste as smoky as usual."

His hand skimmed down my chest and rubbed at my covered nipple. He watched me writhe for a minute before smiling. "Trying to quit. They're bad for you, you know."

"You don't say."

Liam pushed the shirt I wore up and off. "Indeed I do." He kissed me again, long and dragging, until I was making little desperate sounds under his lips. "So much I want to do to you," he whispered.

In a sudden movement, he flipped me around and knelt behind me. I turned on the pillow to get a look at him, but he pushed my head away and into the bed. It shocked me as much as it turned me on. I felt him tear my panties down my legs, and the roughness of his skin against the smoothness of my own was unbearably sexy. I was scorching under his body while also freezing in the blast of the air conditioner. My nipples were very hard, and I couldn't resist dragging them against the sheets.

He hands caressed my lower back, my ass, my thighs, and back up again. My body began a restless, helpless rock, hoping to catch his against mine somehow, but he kept himself up and away from me. We didn't speak, hushed in the early morning light seeping in through the curtains. The persistent buzz of the air conditioner became white noise.

Then I felt the warmth of his breath against my ass. He bit down on both cheeks, blowing on the damp skin once he finished. I shuddered, feeling myself growing even wetter between my thighs. His tongue chased the curve of my cheek down my leg and he bit me again. I squealed, positive I could feel his lips lifting into a smile against my skin. He bit me once more on my thigh for good measure, I guess, and then knelt back up again. His hands stroked me again, up and down until they pressed into my shoulder blades, flattening me into the mattress.

"I'm going to fuck you from behind," he said. His voice was gritty from lust.

"Yes," I whispered. "Please."

"Get on your knees."

He helped me kneel and then pressed my shoulders and head back down. It hurt a little, that stretch, but I loved it. His hips met my ass and I felt his cock nudging me. He felt even harder than the night before as he plunged inside. I was unbelievably wet, but it was still a tight fit, and so I whimpered a little at the intensity. The squeezing of his hands on my hips told me he liked that. His cock dragged out slowly, almost painfully slowly, until just the tip was between my lips. Just when I was about to say something, about to beg, about to fight back against him in hopes it would provoke him to just fuck me, he shoved back in.

"Fuck," I moaned, my hands frantically grabbing at the sheets. The pillow was damp from me panting against it.

A slow pull out, a fast and strong thrust back in. He fucked me like that for so long that I became mindless, just there to be fucked and feel the mounting pleasure.

Liam's rhythm grew faster as he pounded into me, grunting with each smack of his skin against my ass. With one hand he wrapped my hair around his fist, pulling my head back so he could give me a ferocious, almost angry kiss; the other went around to the front of my body, sliding down from my nipples to my pussy. He rubbed circles onto my clit, changing the rhythm up after every few powerful thrusts. I struggled staying up on my knees under him, but I knew I was about to come. My pussy tightened around him, desperate and wanting.

"I'm coming," I managed to say, holding him deep as I lost control.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, God. Yes."

He pushed in deep and stopped, pulsing as he came with me. When we finally stopped, he kissed up my back and over my hair.

"So good," he panted. He pulled out, kissing the back of my neck. I fell into the bed, not having the energy to go clean up. He collapsed next to me, running his hand up and down my body in a lazy, satisfied way.

"It was," I agreed.

We lay there for a few minutes, trying to cool down from the best sex I ever had in my life.

"So," so Liam said, still catching his breath, "how's work?"

I laughed and smacked his sweaty chest.

"What?" he laughed. "I'm serious."

"Yeah, I can tell." I had no idea Liam could be like this and it was further messing with my head, but I didn't want him to stop.

He nuzzled my breast, which I thought was decidedly unfair. My body was still buzzing. "You never talk about your job. To anyone. I would have heard it."

"That's because I kind of hate it. Teaching is... I feel like I'm getting burnt out."

Liam considered me for a minute. "What would you be if you could be anything else?"

"I don't know. I used to--I used to draw. But now, when I try to, nothing inspires me. And so I just don't know what I want to be. Isn't that silly? Being my age and so insecure, so lost. But I am. I think that's why the breakup with Sam hit me so hard. Another thing I failed at, another part of my identity chipped away." I shifted next to him. "This is depressing pillow talk, Liam."

He laughed again. I was getting a bit addicted to that sound. My brain cried out, "Danger! danger!" so I tried to just focus on his mouth, the hazel of his eyes.

"I know this all supposed to be very casual, but I like the idea of getting to know you a bit," he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world and not a sentiment that sent my romantic heart thumping. "I know you think I'm a grumpy ass, but I do like you. And for what it's worth, I don't think your job or your boyfriend has anything to do with your identity. I think you're great as you are. Being lost can be a good thing, too. If you weren't a little lost, you probably wouldn't be in bed with me right now."

I was glad the room was still dim. I knew I was grinning and blushing like a madwoman.

"Well, now you better tell me about your job."

He groaned. "Owning a bar doesn't provide a lot of material, believe it or not."

I looked at him with shock. "Wow. You own it now?"

"Yup. My uncle sold it to me about six months ago. It sucks."

"Really?" I laughed.

"Really." He bit his lip like he was considering whether to say the next part. "If I could do anything else, I'd write."

"Really?" I asked again.

"Really," he said, looking a little embarrassed. "I enjoy it."

I took his hand and squeezed. He glanced back at me and smiled at whatever was on my face. "I could see that. I bet you're great at it."

"Well, I'm not bad," he said.

"Would you let me read your work one day?"

He stroked my collarbone. "Maybe. If you're good."

"Oh, I can be very good," I promised.

Liam smiled and kissed down my throat, sucking in a spot that had me gasping. "Well, I guess you'd better show me just how good you can be."

*****

The next diner was certainly better than the others we'd visited. It felt like a real 60s American diner with its shiny red stools and booths, the polished counters, the fresh and delicious looking pies in the display case, the ageless waitresses in light peach colored uniforms with their hair twisted up, the hot and delicious food. An obviously well-taken care of and loved juke box was in the corner, and Tyler and Liam were fiddling around with it. Alexis sat across from me playing Solitaire and peeking occasionally at me with a knowing smirk.

"What?" I asked, not being able to take it anymore and knowing very well why she was smirking.

"Nothing." She smirked again. Bitch.

"Just say it." I drank my coffee, desperately needing it.

She put down the deck of cards with glee. "You are a very, very bad girl. I came to get you this morning and heard you through the door! Do you know how absolutely shocking that was for me? I nearly fainted. In all the years we've been friends, I've never, ever heard you with a guy. Quite frankly, I am shocked. Shocked!" She cackled and flipped through the cards again. "If I'd known this when we met, I might not have become friends with you. There is only room for one slut in a friendship. Oh well, too late now."

"You finished?" I reached for my vibrating phone.

"I mean, I could go on, but I think I made my point. I reserve the right to make further comments at a later time."

"I wouldn't have expected anything else." I looked down at my phone and all of my amusement evaporated. "Oh, no."

"What is it?"

Speechless, I handed it over.

Sam: I'm going to meet you guys in AZ. Miss you all and want to talk to you. Getting my own room so don't worry about that. Already spoke to Tyler and he gave me sched.

Alexis looked up at me slowly. "I'm... going... to rip... Tyler's eyeballs... out."

I kind of felt the same way but tried to hide it. "He's his friend, too, Alexis."

"Oh, is he? I don't think so, not since he tore your heart out, pissed on it and set it on fire. Not since he became Colorado Sam."

An older lady was watching us with some alarm.

"Alexis, Jesus. You need to relax."

"I can't tell you what I'm going to do to Tyler in case you have to testify in court, but it's going to be slow and painful, Claire. Slow. And painful."

"You don't have to do that," I said, glancing at the lady who was now scurrying away from us. "That lady is probably calling the police as we speak."

"I won't be stopped from fighting for your honor. I would gladly go to jail for it. Plus, Tyler is so fucking stupid. I can't even fathom being that dumb. I love him, but holy smokes. It's like, does he think? How does he know how to do basic tasks, I wonder? Been with him a while and it's all a head scratcher to me."

"Calm down." I looked over to make sure Tyler and Liam were still occupied. They had moved on to the pie display case, thank God. "Can we please focus on the bigger issue here? Sam is meeting us in Arizona."

Alexis shook her head violently. "No, he's not. I'm telling Tyler to call him up and say he's not welcome."

I rubbed my forehead. A large headache was coming on and I had no idea what to do. I had zero desire to see Sam, but I was curious about what he wanted to talk about. There was very little closure for us when he broke my heart and moved away. Maybe I needed it. I also didn't want to have Tyler call and it all turn into a bigger deal; that could be embarrassing.

"Don't do that," I sighed, making up my mind. "If he wants to come and be uncomfortable, that's on him."

"What if he brings his girlfriend?"

"Then I'll just let Liam take me back to the room and fuck me. No loss for me."

Alexis grinned evilly. "Holy shit, I love this side of you. I was wrong about Liam, huh? I can admit when I'm wrong." Her smile faded. "You gonna tell him about all this?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Well, he's bound to notice your ex-boyfriend in Arizona, Claire, so I mean... yeah."

I looked over at him to find his eyes already on me. He had a soft smile on his face I had never seen before. Amazing what sex and opening up could do for the both of us. I didn't want to give it up, this little bubble we found ourselves in. I didn't want to tell him about Sam and see all of the things that made up New Liam just vanish.

So, we had a few semi-deep chats. We still both agreed this was just meaningless sex. Did I really need to talk to him about this and spoil our fun? He'd find out eventually and I was sure he wouldn't care. It wasn't like I was keeping it from him, or that I wanted to get back together with Sam or anything. I just wanted to avoid a bit of awkwardness for as long as I could. Was that a crime?

"You know, you said a little bit of that out loud," Alexis said.

"Fuck. I'm not going to be able to sleep until we're in Arizona."

"It doesn't seem like you're doing much sleeping now, either. Ha ha."

"Very funny."

"Well, if you were to ask my advice, which I've noticed you haven't but I'm sure that's just an oversight, I would tell you that you have to stop letting your life happen to you. You're so terrified of confrontation and you get these notions in your head without being an active participant in your life, and then everything gets messed up."

I was more than a little shocked. "Wow. Ouch."

She shrugged. "It's your one flaw--passivity. Oh, and the inability to let things go. And fear of emotional vulnerability. Why the hell would you want to see Sam anyway? He screwed you over. He's an epic dick."

"Closure?"

Alexis's expression reflected her skepticism. "You don't... want to get back together with him, right?"

"No, of course not." But I couldn't stop thinking about how long we had been together, all the memories we shared, his big brown eyes looking at me as he told me he loved me for the first time. I didn't want to get back with him; that was ridiculous, of course. I just felt like I needed to see him, just to know it was over. Just to make sure.

I rubbed my face with frustration.

"You know what I think?" Alexis leaned over the table and looked serious for once. "I think you're afraid. It's so soon after Sam and now you're hanging with Liam, and yeah, he's great, but maybe it seems like it's too soon for you and you're overthinking it. Don't sabotage something with excellent potential for Sam."

Tyler stomped over, thankfully ending our conversation. "Alexis, Liam won't let me play "Never Gonna Give You Up". Isn't that so unfair?"

Alexis picked up her knife and regarded it casually, but I knew she was thinking about Tyler giving Sam permission to meet up with us. "A lot of things in life are unfair, Tyler."

"I just feel like getting Rickrolled stopped being funny fifteen years ago," Liam said, plopping into the booth beside me and stealing a piece of my abandoned bacon. "You guys okay? You look intense."

"Oh, we're great," Alexis said. Tyler went to sit down, but Alexis held her butter knife-holding hand up to stop him. "Tyler, honey, can we talk for a minute? In private."

"Sure," he said. He should have suspected he was about to get flipped out on, but he was on his own with that. He spun around and headed outside. Alexis followed, still clutching the knife in her hand.

"What's going on there?" Liam asked.

I shrugged.

"Hmmm, okay, Claire. Don't tell me. Let's just see what happens."

"You threatening me?"

"Absolutely," he said, taking more bacon. "You sure you're okay?"

"I am."

"Okay."

"Okay."

*****

Alexis said that according to Wikipedia, Oklahoma City was known for its cowboy culture. Once we parked the car to spread our legs and sightsee a bit, I had to agree with Wikipedia. Lots of men in cowboy hats and other gear I didn't know the name of roamed around. She also said her friend had described it as, "Midwest flat with lazy rolling hills and a nice downtown." And they also said that even though it had less than a million people, it felt bigger because of all the space it took up. From everything I could see, her friend was right.

"Did you know they've got some awesome kayaking here?" Tyler asked, quickly shutting up when Alexis glanced his way.

They hadn't said much when they came back from their private chat. I wondered if Tyler would mention Sam to Liam, if he hadn't already, but I figured Alexis had threatened him well enough.

I was still back and forth about my decision. Things had been tense between us since we left the last stop. Something was very clearly up with me, even if I kept saying it wasn't, and maybe Liam didn't know me all that well, but he wasn't stupid. I caught him watching me sometimes in the car, and now he was sneaking looks as we walked downtown.

I didn't want to tell him, but it was becoming apparent that I had to. And it wasn't even a big deal anyway. So, we would be meeting up with Sam. I hadn't really been able to say no, anyway, right?

I looked in a shop window and wondered what the fuck was wrong with me.

We had an early and slightly tense dinner. Tyler and Liam reminisced about some trip they took together years ago. Alexis commented the appropriate things. I was still lost in my head.

By the time we got back to the hotel room, I was done with it, and so was Liam.

"Okay. What's going on?" he asked once we shut the door and dropped our bags.

I blurted it all out. "Sam wants to meet up with us in Arizona. I've just been... processing. I didn't want to make things weird between us, and so I wasn't sure if I should say something or not."

His face scrunched with confusion. "Why wouldn't you say something? That's even weirder."

"I don't know! I'm weird."

"No kidding."

I kicked his foot. "Are you mad at me?"

He looked at me expressionlessly. "Why would I be mad at you? It's not like I have any right to know."

"I think you might. I'm sure it wouldn't have been nice to just stumble into Sam when we got there. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I've been so dumb." I rubbed my face. "Alexis says I am too passive and non-confrontational and I absolutely hate it when she's right."

Liam came toward me and pulled my hands away from my face, kissing me softly. "No strings, Claire. It's okay. You don't have to say sorry." He stepped back and grabbed his wallet and the phone.

"Where are you going?"

He kept his face blank. "I'm going to grab a drink at the hotel bar with Tyler."

"Oh," I said. "Okay. That's--that's good."

"Yeah. I'll be back in a bit," he said without looking at me. He picked up the hotel key and left without another word.

*****

Oh, Claire. In the words of Avril Lavigne, why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?