No Strings Pt. 02

"Yeah, I know you're right. But I just don't want to be disappointed again."

"What would be more disappointing, finding out she didn't love you, or finding out she did, and that you missed the opportunity to do anything about it?" she astutely pointed out.

"Yeah, you're right; I need to grow a pair."

"Okay. So, in the meantime, I'm going to get on my hands and knees and point my rather well-sculpted ass at you, and I imagine you can figure out what to do from there."

I figured it out.

V. GROWING A PAIR - SORT OF

The following weekend, after my usual at Marla's, I got home Saturday around four p.m. We usually spend the whole weekend together, but this Sunday, I had a flight to L.A., and I had to leave in the morning, so I came home early to get ready. As I was packing, I got to thinking about Lynne and her trip with Norman. I stopped packing, got a beer and sat and thought about things, about Lynne, about the fact that I was still undeniably, deeply in love with her, and that it hurt more than I could stand that she was going away on a romantic trip with fucking Norman.

After a couple more beers, I reached for my phone. I didn't know if they'd already left, but if they hadn't, this could be my last chance to do anything about her. I would be gone until Friday, so I decided I better do it now, and tried to grow a pair.

I cracked open some more liquid courage, and looked at my phone. After another beer, I punched up Lynne's number, then had another beer. You get the idea. Several beers later, around eight p.m., I finally called Lynne.

"Hello, Matt?"

"Yes, Lynne, it's Matt. Um, I need to talk to you."

"Oh, well, okay. Listen, I can't hear you. It's noisy here. Can I call you back in a few?"

"Hey, if you're busy, it's okay..."

"I'm at a party, but let me call you back; gotta go."

She hung up. I cracked open another beer. She's at a 'party', probably with 'Norman'...fuck!

Several beers later, my cell rang.

"Matt, hi, sorry, it was noisy in there. Sorry it took so long to return your call. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, no. Um, sorry to take you away from your party. I need to talk to you..." I was having trouble thinking of how to say what I wanted to - a couple too many beers, and my balls were rapidly shrinking.

"Matt, are you still there? Are you okay? You don't sound good."

"Yeah, sorry. I was hoping we could talk before you leave on your trip. You didn't say when you're going?"

"We leave this coming Thursday. I, um, you need to talk now? I'm kind of tied up, but maybe, one night this week..."

"Oh, no, never mind. Look, you have a great trip, Lynne. I love you. Take care."

"Matt...Matt?"

I'd didn't hear her call my name because I'd hung up, and promptly passed out.

"Matt honey, wake up...Matt..."

Slap! "MATT!"

"AGHH, shit, stop yelling...Sylvia?"

"Good guess, tiger. Let's get you off the floor."

"What?"

"We need to get you in the shower. Come on, damn it, I can't pick you up."

"What are you doing here?" I was a bit confused.

"I'm trying to get your drunk ass in the shower. You stink. You smell like a brewery. Come on," she griped as she guided me to the bathroom.

"Let's get these clothes off you," she continued, and started undressing me.

"Are we going to have sex?" I mumbled, still confused.

"Oh good grief! Get in the shower, and don't pass out. I'll get some coffee going."

She left and I stumbled into the shower. The hot water felt good. I made it hotter.

What the hell was Sylvia doing here?

I showered, brushed my teeth, gargled, put on a polo shirt and jeans, then went out. Sylvia was waiting at the dining table with a couple cups of coffee.

"Well you smell better, but you still look like shit."

"Yeah, and my head feels like I look. Guess I had a few too many."

"A few! I counted 12 dead soldiers. Don't worry. I cleaned up the mess."

"Thanks, but I'm a bit confused. Why are you here?"

"Lynne called. She was worried about you; said you called her, told her you loved her, then hung up."

"What? The hell I did? I mean I called her, but I don't remember telling her...um, I don't know what I told her. Maybe I did. But she's leaving for Niagara Falls in a few days with her boyfriend, fucking Norman, so it really doesn't matter."

"Apparently it does matter. She'll be here soon, probably any minute..."

"What, who, Lynne? Why?"

"Oh, for pity's sake, keep up. You got drunk; you called Lynne; she told you she was leaving with Nathan; you told her you loved her, then hung up; and when she tried to call you back, you didn't answer. She's on her way here. She said it would take a while. She was on the other side of town. You with me?"

"She's coming here? Why?"

"I give up. Have some more coffee. Try to get your act together."

Shortly, there was a knock at the door.

"That's her now. Don't fuck this up, Matt, or I'll never talk to you again. No, you stay sat. You'd probably fall on your ass."

Sylvia answered the door and let Lynne in.

"Is he okay?"

"Yes and no. The reason he hung up on you and didn't answer your calls was because he passed out. Go easy on him, Lynne. I don't know where you are on this now, but he's sick in love with you. I'll leave you to this. Bye, sweetie. Good luck."

VI. MY BALLS ARE HUGE

Lynne came in and stood next to the table looking across at me, "Hi Matt. Are you okay?"

"Hi Lynne. I'm sorry about this. Sorry I interrupted your party. Um, you didn't have to come all the way here. I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying you're sorry," Lynne admonished me as she took off her coat and sat down.

"Matt, I need to know something right now. You told me on the phone that you loved me. Was that the beer talking or did you mean it?"

I dropped my eyes and answered, "It wasn't the beer."

"Your timing is terrible, Matt! I mean we've bought tickets, paid for a room, paid for...Why didn't you tell me before? Why?" she almost shouted.

I winced.

"I'm sorry, Matt..."

"It's okay. I just have a bit of a headache. Just a sec; I need more coffee, and some water. I need to rehydrate. Would you like some coffee?"

"No, but I'll take some water...Sylvia said you drank until you passed out. Was that because of me?"

"Yes, and because I lack testicles."

"You don't have testicles?"

"Um, figuratively. Actually, my balls are huge, quite magnificent."

She laughed, "There's the Matt I know and love."

I brought our drinks back to the table and sat down.

"Matt, if you loved me, love me, why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Lynne, I tried, um, too late. I mean, I didn't know...didn't admit it to myself until, until the Denise incident, when you left. That's when I realized I loved you. I tried to call you, to tell you...multiple times, but..."

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry. I was so angry, so hurt when I thought...that you were doing...well what I thought you were doing with that redhead, with Denise. Then Sylvia called me and said I was wrong and that I needed to see you and give you a chance. That's why I came that first time...after Denise."

I responded, "Oh Lynne, I was hoping that was why you came. And I was ready to tell you then that I loved you, but you told me you had a boyfriend, so I thought you didn't feel the same way...I was devastated. I saw that you had moved on, and I didn't want to hurt anymore. Then when you and your boyfriend came and got all your stuff, I knew it was over. So, I tried to move on, too."

She was shaking her head, "Matt, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that when I told you about Nathan that...oh I messed up. But you just acted like you were happy for me, so I figured that you didn't have the feelings for me that Sylvia led me to believe."

"I guess a lot of things worked against us. But Lynne, you haven't told me how you feel..."

"Jeez, Matt, Sylvia was right, you are a dumb...I fell for you almost from the start. I was in love with you, but you rejected me..."

"What? When?"

"Before my brother interrupted us. I all but asked you to take me to bed, and you cut me off...then afterwards, we kissed, and I thought we would, you know...but then you insisted we go to dinner; and afterwards, well, you were distant, and I realized you didn't feel the same as me and..."

"I was trying to protect you. I thought it might be a mistake."

"Sleeping with me, making love to me, a mistake?"

"I thought we might be rushing into something. Under the circumstances, the incident with your brother, your good news over a job, I thought we might be allowing emotions to override judgement. And since my divorce, I haven't exactly been a choir boy. Truth be told, after my divorce, I started...let's just say I'd been seeing more than a few Denises. I didn't trust myself, my judgement, and I didn't want to make a mistake with you, hurt you."

"You're right; a lot of things worked against us...Matt, I don't know what to do now, but I want you to know without a doubt, I love you; I've never stopped loving you. And, you know, before this trip, I tried again to see if you loved me, but..."

"But?! You said you loved Norman, so I really didn't understand why you were asking me whether you should go..."

"I never said I loved...who's Norman?"

"Your boyfriend."

"His name is Nathan."

"I know that. I guess it's a defense mechanism. If I don't say his name, he isn't real."

"Oh. Well, I didn't say I loved him. You asked if I was in love, and I said yes, but I meant to say with you, not him; then, I don't remember, but somehow, I never got that out, and you made it plain it was my decision...How can two people have so much trouble communicating?"

"Sylvia's observation, precisely."

"I don't know what to do now, Matt. I've committed to this trip..."

"No, I understand. I do. Like you said, my timing sucks. But what if you go and...things change, what if you and Norman...Nathan; what if you guys..."

"Matt, I'm not going to stop loving you. I'm 'in' love with you, deeply in love with you, not Nathan."

"Well, crap, we sure wasted a lot of time," I lamented.

"Yes, we did. Yes, we did," she said softly, and started to leak tears.

"Lynne, you said 'so that I would know without a doubt'...Well I want you to know without a doubt that I'm in love with you, that I've been sick over it, sick to death. Do you know how many butterflies I've killed..."

"What?"

"Sorry, I'll explain that another time. Look, honey, I tried to get over you...tried to 'move on', but to no avail."

"Matt, is it too late for us to try and start over?"

"I hope not. But I'm not sure how. What about your boyfriend. I assume you're living with him?"

"Yes, that's where I moved to when I came and got my stuff."

"So..."

"I'll have to tell him, and move out, of course, but, oh brother, this trip..."

"So, go on the trip. I understand. Just come back to me."

"No, I can't do that, lead him on like that...and now that I know you do love me...well, I couldn't sleep with him. What about you, Matt? You said you tried to get over me. I assume that means you had someone, or a few someones..."

"I'll stop seeing them - all of them."

"Jeez, Matt, how many are there?"

"Hey, it took a lot of women to assuage my broken heart when you left..."

She smacked my arm, "How many?"

"Okay, just one; a nice lady who had just separated from her husband. We commiserated together."

"Commiserated? First time I've heard it called that!"

"Are you always going to be this difficult?"

"You have no idea!" she sniped, got up and came around the table. I stood and she threw her arms around me, pulling my head down and crushing my lips to hers. I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around me. Glued to each other, we kissed passionately, for what seemed like an eternity, perhaps trying to make up for lost time. When we finally came up for air, she dropped her feet to the floor and wrapped her arms around my chest.

After I caught my breath, I said, "I guess we have to take care of some loose ends...What about your boyfriend? I assume that is going to be difficult."

"Yes, very...You've no idea. Nathan is in love with me, madly in love with me. He knows I don't feel the same way. That's why we were going on this trip, to see if our relationship was going to move forward."

"Yeah, that's going to be hard. Look, if you need help, I could have him taken care of," I joked, but in the back of my mind I was trying to think of who I knew that could...

She joked back, "Would you? That's sweet. No, I'll handle it, I have to. What about you?"

"Marla will understand. She knows about you and that I'm in love with you."

"So, tell me about this 'Marlene'. Should I be jealous of her?"

"Marla. Oh, touché. You got me. Nah, Marla's kind of old and skinny. But she does have money and a nice place."

"Matt, seriously, I want to know."

"Only if you tell me about Norman."

"Nathan!"

VII. SHOW AND TELL

"I know. So, you tell me about Norman and I'll tell you about Marlene."

"You go first," she replied.

"Hmm, okay. Well, first of all, she's rich, filthy rich. She's divorcing her husband, whom she caught humping the maid. She's 46..."

"Boy, you like the older women, don't you. I may be too young for you."

"Are you going to let me tell this? And Marla and Sylvia are the only women I've been with who are older than me."

She interrupted again, "Before you continue, I want to know; how many women have there been?"

"I don't know. Um, since my divorce..."

"All together, Matt."

"Oh, hmm, including high school?"

"All."

"Before I got married, including high school and college, maybe 15, or 20, um, maybe more...I don't know..."

"Good grief! When did you find time to study."

"I considered them research."

"What about 'while' you were married?"

"No, I was faithful, unlike TB."

"TB?"

"The Bitch."

"Oh. And after 'TB'?"

"Honestly, in the last year, bedding strange women has been a bit more than a hobby, more of an all-consuming pursuit, like climbing Mount Everest, so honestly, I don't know."

Eyeing me, she asked, seriously, "Are you really ready to settle down?"

"With you, more than ready," I returned just as seriously.

"So, tell me about Marla."

"Um, not much to tell. She's tall, slim, pretty. She has long, dark brown hair."

"Big boobs, like Denise?" she quipped.

"Nope, small breasts, slender hips. She does have a nice ass and pretty awesome legs..."

"Got it, got it. What about in bed?"

"A gentleman doesn't talk about such things."

She punched my arm, "We've already established you're no gentleman, so..."

"Fine, honestly?" She nodded. "Okay, she's a pretty awesome lover - talented, insatiable..."

"Okay, okay, great. Sorry I asked. You could have lied."

"I was lying. She's a lousy lay; lies there like a dead fish..."

"Smart ass," she laughed, and at that moment I realized we were going to be okay.

"So, now tell me about Norman," I urged.

"Are you ever going to call him by his right name?"

"Nope."

"Okay, well, Norman works...damn you...'Nathan' works at my previous law firm. When I left, I missed getting a couple things, and he called me one day. I knew he liked me, but he had never asked me out. I found out he kept his distance because he knew our boss had his eye on me. Anyway, I was staying with a friend, my bff from college. But her place was small, a studio, and I was sleeping on her couch.

When Nathan called me about my things, he offered to bring them to me, and we met for dinner. Long story short, we started dating and he offered for me to stay at his place. That was when I called you and we got together and had Chinese food, and, well...we won't rehash that. But, that's when I decided to move in with him. And that's when I started sleeping with him..."

"We can skip the details on that," I remarked, kidding, but only slightly. "So, is he handsome?"

"You mean, does he compare to you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, he's better looking, taller..." she stopped and grinned, then wrapped me up, "Matt, honey, I've never met anyone who compares with you. Nathan's nice looking, he's smart and considerate...but Matt, you're...dark chocolate with a hint of chili powder, and Nathan's plain vanilla...But he is hung like a horse," she grinned.

"Oh great, I needed that comparison..."

"You know I was kidding, and what comparison? I never got the chance to compare, which was entirely your fault. Besides, if the rest of you measures up to the size of your balls..."

"Yeah, I might have exaggerated a little."

Lynne released me, and sighed, "Matt, I wish I could stay right now. I do, and that we could..."

"No, it's okay. I'm not in very good shape, and I would rather be at my best...especially if I have to compete with a horse dick."

"Oh, I was kidding, it's more like a small donkey's," she quipped, then said, "Seriously though, and I'm not saying I've had a lot of experience to make this assessment, but Nathan is pretty 'vanilla' in that department, too."

"How much experience?" I quickly asked.

"That's all you got out of that? Are you always going to be this jealous?" She parried.

"You have no idea!" I exclaimed.

I grabbed her and crushed her to me. She immediately wrapped me up and we kissed hard, and long. I felt tears on my face. I almost started crying too. I had spent months thinking this would never happen.

When we separated, Lynne apologized, "I'm sorry. I do have to go."

I walked her to the door, and we tenderly kissed goodbye.

I went to the fridge, got a quart of milk and ate a half a loaf of bread - If I was going to throw up, I wanted to have something to do it with.

The End of Part Two

Of

NO STRINGS

~~~~~

Continued in Part Three - TYING UP LOOSE ENDS