All Comments on 'No Tan Lines'

Great story, Chloe. One of your best. You ended it in a good place, but I'd love to see a follow on - meeting Jenny's parents, dealing with school, all the rest.

Liked your original version of the story as well.

Hey, glad you like this version.... JR

Lol 😆 - yes, that was in part the inspiration. But Dave’s not Mike, and I looked up Bertram layouts, which I don’t think JR did. He has 5 cabins in a Bertram 45 convertible, which is . ..Uh... a bit cramped.

Hugs .... Chloe

As usual, Chloe doesn’t disappoint with this wonderfully uplifting and romantic story. The depth of the characters is fantastic and the way that they find themselves drawn to one another is just plain hot. And, oh my, when they give in to the desire and temptation- things become red hot!

Another 5 star story - wish I could write like Chloe does.

I normally don't read first time stories because for the most part they are hurried. I love the slow build-up of this story and the details put into it.

I too would love to read a follow up chapter with the vacation and meeting Jenny's parents.

Thank you for sharing -

RecHiker

I am not sure what this has to do with the contest topic, but it was a fun read.

Also, the sex was not explicit.

You have this wonderfully, insidious way of drawing us into your characters and making us understand them. This was an exceptionally great read. I loved the unfolding of the love story. Thank you for sharing your gift.

This is one of the best, and one of your best. I'd argue Chinese Eyes and A Teddy Bear for Christmas might have slightly more appealing characters, or locales I like better, or whatever. I'm a reader, not a critic. Another superb story.

When are you going to publish a novel? There are a dozen or so writers on this site I'd pay to read, and you're one of them.

As always, you don’t disappoint. You have to be my favorite writer. Love your stories so much.

That was extraordinary.

You write her extraordinarily convincingly; a very fully developed person. You write the most amazing extended blow job. You write really raunchy - but pursuasive - sex. You describe the blossoming of love, the finding of shared commitment, with very great grace.

Yes, Dave is a bit of a paragon, a female vision of an ideal man, perhaps a little Mr Darcyish; but that's not a great fault in a story.

Very, very fine writing. Normally I would find a story like this too sweet, to saccharine, but this one is just beautiful.

In detail, in the last three pages there's a couple of references to 'the summer sun' when it is still winter (I think perhaps you originally set the story in summer and then time-shifted it?), and in one of the sex scenes there's a shift between first and third person narration which may be intentional - you may be trying to convey that sense of being outside yourself, looking on, which can come at moments of really intense experience - but which I found distracting.

But over all, glorious, lambent story telling.

Congratulations, and thanks.

I'd "favorited" you a while back already. Another great story.

Couple little things? Some British-isms were in the first few pages. Sneakers, not "runners".

And on pg 4, Advil should be capitalized, or called ibuprophen.

I'm nit-picking a brilliant author, but these things pull me out of the story briefly.

This is a well written story that except for the boat reflects my later life.

I had to read it to the finish once I started reading.

"Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me.

You don't know me but you make me so happy."

I was almost expecting Dave to say (or sing) that to her during one of the first few times they were intimate with each other. 😊

I must say, this story is tremendous. The plot was really wonderful, and the setting being in South Florida and the Florida Keys was perfect. And speaking of that, they should have docked for lunch in Key Colony Beach at Sparky's Landing. I know a thing or two about that place... it would have suited them well. But I digress...

Overall, another brilliant story from the fabulous Chloe... with drama, humor, love... and terrific sex scenes. You've earned a sky full of stars from me.😊

You are an incredible writer. That was a deeply erotic experience!

ChloeTzang I would love to read you all day and all night !

I've been following for a long time and find some stories hit and others not do. This is brilliant. Good constructed characters and pulled the readers in to Jenny's life.

It was a good story to long and you need to finish up meeting the parents and marriage. like them to stay together. is he 12 or 20 years older was confusedl

I enjoy all of your stories but this is the best one so far. Please keep up the good work. Thank you.

Certainly, this is a long story—but you made use of every word, every line. It is totally believable, capturing the emotions of the first-person narrator as well as her physical sensations. The build-up is delightfully protracted, but you manage to keep the story moving forward, and even the repeated acts manage to bring a new descriptive freshness that maintains and increases the tension.

Outstanding!

Damn dear, you nailed it again. Very good story!

Nothing like watching a girls face when they start to cum. I would of gave her licking every chance to watch her cream.

Chloe, you wrote a wonderful story. I hope there's a sequel to this, saying how he met her family. But even on its own, it's very engaging. Kudos to you for the good work. 谢谢

This was a lovely story, well built up characters who we could believe in. A few minor blips that proof reading should have picked up but not enough to affect the story. A.F.C. Somerset.

Now I must check out your other works

Beautiful story line. You have a knack for placing the reader in the story. Brings back first time personal memories of love making.

Will be looking into more of your reads Chloe.

One of the best stories on this site. Good erotica carries the reader into engaging sexual situations. Good literature carries the reader into the world of the characters with a sense of authority and presence, leaving the reader feeling that they have experienced worthwhile ideas. This story does both. I was particularly stuck with the compelling exposition of Jenny’s mind set at the outset of the story. She seemed to be a real person in an unique place in life. The damage to her self-image caused by her illness made her especially receptive to, and/or needful of, a nurturing love. In the author’s depiction of that fragile self-image we glimpse a budding maturity which allows us to believe that Jenny does have the potential to sort it out. We are better humans for our time with Jenny and Dave.

That’s one of the nicest comments I’ve ever had about any of my stories. Thank you so much, and thanks to everyone else whose commented - and to everyone whose read and enjoyed “No Tan Lines.”

This was one of the best stories I have read. Anywhere.

This is the best story I have read in the last 10 years. I read two or three stories a week and none can come close to No Tan Lines. Keep up the good work.

Good character development, story advancement, use of language, cross cultural perspectives, marine context, medical description, erotic content and so on.

A bit redundant at times but quite forgivable.

I regret we're only allowed to give this 5 stars when it deserves 5 X that many.

Heinlein said the highest possible praise for an author was cold hard cash; I agree with him. If I knew where to find your commercial writing, I'd buy some to say thank you.

You've captured and communicated an emotional story so well I would've loved it even if it had no sex. Wonderful characterization, easily connected-to situations and people, just outstanding in every way.

THANKS for writing us a wonderful story!

Really enjoyed the storyline and the boat descriptions.

Very realistic and well done!

Well done Chloe.

You really captured Jenny, developed her character as you went. I was drawn into your story and could not put it down until I got to page 17.

I liked the background to the story, your knowledge of boats etc. While we all enjoy a good sex scene, to me the story is important too. I don't just want to know how they fucked on the boat, I want to know how they came to be together on the boat too.

Anne.

A real Romance as well as a "first time".

So beautifully written with Jenny truly captured.

As a former Navy man and former commercial fishing boat captain, I appreciate the detail about the boats as much as the sex! Lol Thank you for writing such a beautiful story about so many of the things I love.

great story but twin screw vessels just have a bow thruster in this vessel class. other wise as I said great story

One of the best of the best.

Everything from the detail of the boats, to the sex is wonderful. Very immersive, a great read during a pandemic!

Thanks for your story, in my opinion I found your story a little repetitive in places and a little too long, probably could be sorted out in editing!

This is a great story, very well written. It needs just a little editing for spelling and the correct words to be just perfect. Thanks for your effort.

You must have interviewed a lot of sailors and virgins while researching this ;-)

Five and fave.

A wonderful and lovely romantic story. There were a few places where when Jenny was narrating (as opposed to speaking) you slipped into third person "her," but you can fix that with a quick edit. And, no, it was long but not too long. You used it for the character development, of both Dave and Jenny and even her aunt.

Really enjoyed the length, and great background knowledge of the watercraft. Terrific sexual descriptions too.

A number of spots could use more editing, but overall, great!

I normally do not read any story over 4 pages long. So when I saw your story was 17 pages I almost passed. But I started and when your story had the Florida Keys (a favorite of mine) and large boats I was hooked. And congrats on your large boat knowledge, very believable. Well done.

Wonderful story and my favorite things, love, the ocean, boats, and the Keys, thank you for such a captivating and enjoyable read. I will be looking for more of your stories.

Best ever, easily number one.

Best ever, indeed.

This one sits at the peak of well done stories.

I think I have read a better story, I just can't remember when.

Just wish there were an extra star for stories like this.

A very fine story.

But ... there is always one of those. 44 knots in a boat this big is just pissing diesel away no matter how rich you are. And big boats made to go out in heavy weather aren't built on hulls designed to hop up on a plane. Still you got a lot of boating things right.

5 Stars, more if there was a way. An epilog would be nice, even if it was just one chapter. Dave and Jenny meeting her family, winning their blessing....

"Thank you" for such a sweet story.

Reasons why Chloe should always use "cos", even if it's not exactly a word: (1) Because(!) it's a special little touch of pure Chloe. (2) It's unique, and so helps to mark the work as hers, just in case that ever helps. (3) Author's privilege. 'Nuff said.

Cracking story and a shame I can’t add a bonus point! Just a quick thanks for the foreword Chloe - I spent 15yrs sailing in the UK and Europe on weekends and hols, you’re bang on with marine terminology! I’d echo the comment re an epilogue, it would have rounded the tale off nicely, although anyone that has read John Wray’s lSouth Sea Vagabonds” knows that sometimes the very best sailors yarns leave you wanting more. Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

It should have been in the Romance category - it would be the Best in Show there. But five stars in this category, too

i have read this story multiple times, because it is so wonderfully romantic and beautifully written. It has fully developed characters and nice pace, showing the growth of love. Five stars are not enough.

Wonderful story. It really cries for a sequel. Taking No Tan Lines to Minnesota and meet her folks.

The wedding, graduation, college, kids

Thank you for letting me get to know these wonderful characters

Sweet Hallmark or Lifetime movie script. When he claims it's "experience" that allows him to touch Jeannie just the way she likes, it rings hollow, conceited. He should have said the touches show their love for each other or hearts? guiding his fingers. Also after the first 2 days whith Jeannie being so sick, tired, we never say he tired again. Amazing recovery or just forgotten story line. I would have liked to see her fall asleep after dinner on Ants boat and the 3 guys continue talking quietly for a couple of hours while she slept as Dave held her. Sleep because she is still weak from her sickness, held and not disturbed because all 3 men know she needs their strength.

Bang! Another story of yours, straight into the Favorites bin.

This time I tried to not rush to the ending, but it still ended too soon.

Nicely (and sweetly) done.

1 of my favorite stories. 2 "wounded" semi-lost souls finding each other. couple of mistakes around 7-9, 10 ? Jenny remarks on all his scars and later says he is hairy all over his body. scars show thru hair? also 12 yrs. older and once at 11 to 15 ? says he is 20 years older. too much same old sex, only once eating Jenny. Liked her Aunt watching Jenny take the boat out with no help from Dave. Maybe Part 2 where Jenny's Mom, Dad, Aunt and Uncle all take a boat ride and Jenny Captains the boat 100%, Dave just sits with family. Jenny surprises Dave with finding a local High School and transfers her school records and present the school acceptance letter to Dave?

Without a doubt, one of the finest stories on Literotica. Rich characters we came to know and understand. Real and relatable emotions throughout the entire story. People that one could root for. Well worth anyone's time who wants a great read.

Bravo!

Such a long story and then a rushed not conclusive ending leaving your readers feeling cheated of a full closure pff the affair. It was a 5 star all up to the end then I could not score it as it is not complete.

Fantastic story. Sweetly romantic and also wonderfully hot erotic. One of the best ever, anywhere.