No Turning Back

"Sorry, these are yours. I just couldn't help myself." She slipped them off and handed them to me. I could see lust in her eyes -- for the shoes, not me.

Our side of the office had cleared out so I tried on the shoes and staggered out of my cube, trying to keep my balance on the short industrial carpeting. I barely got back to my office without falling and leaned against the carpeted partition. "I don't know ... I'm not sure I can wear these."

"Fuckkkk girl," drawled Ally. "You gotta wear those shoes." She made an exaggerated nod of her head to give me two thumbs up.

Then she picked up my work shoes and held them out in front of her as if she was holding a dead mouse. "These shoes suck, and the ones you're wearing make you look like you want to fuck."

"I can't wear these," I insisted, plopping myself in my chair and kicking off the shoes.

Ally was still holding the collar of my dreadful work shoes. "I wouldn't let my mother wear these," she declared, pronouncing a death sentence for them. She tossed my offending work shoes into the trash can, landing in it with a resounding thud. "Here's where they belong."

I looked down at my work shoes, now sitting on top of discarded papers and crumpled paper coffee cups. She was right. It was like comparing a beater car to a Ferrari. If I was going to go with her I had to suck it up and wear my new shoes. But I didn't want to look like a clumsy slut. At least I didn't want to look clumsy.

"Maybe I should just call it a night." I leaned over to re-wrap the Louboutin's in their tissue paper so I could return them.

"You're coming with me." There was no room for argument in her voice. She reached into the shoe box and unwrapped the shoes. She handed them to me. "Put these on. We're wasting time arguing about this."

Now I kind of wanted to go. Wearing the heels, even for a few minutes, made me feel sexy. My legs weren't bad, and with a four inch lift, they looked impossibly long. I liked that, even though they hurt like a bitch.

"OK," I said reluctantly, disguising my interest in going. I was moving too slowly for Ally's taste.

"Just put on the fucking shoes. You know you look like hot shit in them."

I knew I did. I just didn't know if I would survive them. Especially my ankles ... and my face.

"All right," I said, still verbally dragging my feet.

I slipped on the shiny new heels, making a mental note to put a couple band-aids in my purse. Of course I forgot my mental note. The shoes did look great, and with my practice run the second time went much more smoothly than the first.

Ally walked ahead of me. I wobbled only a little bit, and felt a bit more comfortable walking in them, though I had to fight the feeling that I was going to fall forward. I made it to the end of the hallway, to the exit door to the employee parking lot. Ally had already gone ahead, not patient enough to wait given my snail's pace.

I opened the door and shaded my eyes so they could adjust to the brightly lit parking lot. I could see her. She was about four cars away and unlocking the driver's side door of a red sports car. I was leaning against the door jamb to give my legs a rest as I watched her. I thought maybe she might take pity on me and pick me up where I was standing. She flapped her arms, yelling though I couldn't understand what she was saying. I stretched my neck forward and heard her say something like "Get the fuck over here."

Fine, she wasn't going to drive the car over to pick me up. I clip clopped across the old broken asphalt (cussing under my breath) to her car. It was a shiny red Mustang, about the same color as my shoes. It looked showroom fresh. I ran my finger across the trunk lid and fingered the pony emblem.

"Hey ..." she protested. I took my finger away.

I pushed the button to release the latch and pulled open the passenger door. I stuck my head in, almost falling into the bucket seat.

"Oops." It wasn't an elegant entrance. Ally laughed at me. It wasn't going to be the last time that night.

I smoothed my skirt under me. Thank God I at least wore one of my nicer outfits. It actually went with the heels. I looked around at the interior. It was immaculate.

"My brother restores cars," she said, answering the question that was forming on my lips.

"Nice." I didn't really know shit about cars, but I could tell this was a nice one. I felt like I was in a car magazine.

"Don't puke inside it," she said, admonishing me as if I was a heavy drinker ... and puker.

"Hah," I replied, looking at her and sticking a finger in my mouth and making a gagging noise.

"Fuck you," she said. I guess that was the limit of her tolerance for my humor. She turned the ignition key and fired up the engine. It roared like a beast and rumbled like a real race car. "Put on your fucking seat belt."

I reached across to buckle the belt and looked straight ahead as we backed out of the parking space. I was going to try to behave.

She started talking to me but I was too busy watching the guys in the parking lot that were in a circle talking and sharing a cigarette. Two of them leaned low to get a look at us as we passed by.

"...so that's why they used that engine block on this motor ...". She stopped talking. "Are you listening to me?" I felt like I misbehaved in class. I hadn't paid attention to a word she had said. I faked it.

"Yes ... yes ... I 've heard every word. But I don't anything about car engines." That was the truth.

"Women ..." Ally sighed. I could tell she longed for another woman friend who could appreciate the finer points of her ride. I was just never going to be one of them.

She gunned the motor, fishtailing into the street. There was still a fair amount of traffic and my crazy kind of best friend darted through the pack of cars while I gripped my seatbelt, making sure it was fastened. I tried to keep my eyes open but failed. With eyes shut I felt the car sway as she weaved through the traffic.

I opened my eyes when we came to rest at a stoplight. We rolled up next to a police car. While the car shimmied as it idled, the black and white revved his motor. Ally revved hers. The cop car flashed his headlights and turned left while we continued straight. Maybe they knew each other. She didn't say anything, just stared ahead into traffic.

We were at cruising speed when she suddenly made a right turn into a large asphalt parking lot. The car listed slightly as she made the sharp turn, squealing the tires and kicking up some small stones. She darted for the last open parking space and rolled in gracefully, the engine now at a purring idle. She turned off the headlights and got out, expecting I would as well. She stood outside the car waiting for me to get off my ass.

We parked near the side entrance of a fast food restaurant, a local chain with a reputation for the best burgers. I'd never been to it. I could see it was packed inside. The crowd spilled out to the sidewalk and the parking lot, people eating burgers and drinking beers covered with brown paper bags. There were a couple motorcycles parked right in front of the side entrance. The burly bikers were sitting on their leather saddles, drinking cans of beer and passing a joint. I watched my feet so I wouldn't trip and tried to avoid eye contact with the bikers as we approached the side door.

As we walked by, one of the leather sheathed bikers eyed Ally hungrily and snarled "Hey babe ... wanna fuck?" He sounded like he meant it. I was invisible to him.

He was the taller of the two. He and his buddy (who was sporting a large silver hoop hanging from his right ear) stood up, cutting off our path to the entrance. They were each about a foot taller and wider than we were, the human equivalent of a two large brown bears standing on their hind legs.

I was scared shitless again when Ally stood toe to toe with the tall, bearded and heavily muscled biker.

"I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on Earth," she said, snarling back. You could tell she wasn't going to back down.

I was cowering at this point, hoping not to be thrashed along with my former best friend.

The hulking presence in front of us broke into a broad smile, flashing a gold tooth ... then started laughing. Ally hugged the smiling bear, arms unable to circle his considerable girth.

"Rocky ... good to see you." Her hug lingered, showing true affection. She practically disappeared into his arms.

The biker gave her one more squeeze and then held her at arm's length. "Looking good babe." He gave her a playful pat on her rump.

"Asshole," she fired back, but with a smile.

Rocky plopped down on the seat of his Hog and took a long drag off the joint. A haze of sweet smelling smoke drifted by my face.

"Ally ... you're a good one." He looked at me. "And your cute little friend too," he added. I guess he did notice me. He gave me a thumbs up. I'm sure I blushed. I managed to flash him a weak smile.

Ally scooted up to him and kissed him on the curly brown hair covering his cheek.

He gripped her shoulders with his paws. "Be good." He tossed the roach on the pavement and used the sole of his heavy boot to grind it till it went out. He threw his leg over the saddle and hunched over to twist the ignition key. The chopper roared to life.

Ally waved to him and held the door open for me. We slid into the crowd that formed a disorderly queue in front of the cash registers. The manager behind the counter, a cute redhead with lots of freckles and a long ponytail, waved to Ally. I followed Ally as she fought her way through the crowd of people to the front of the counter. She bent over it, as did the woman behind the counter, and Ally kissed her cheek. I couldn't help but notice that when the woman bent over, her blouse opened a bit more and I could see impressive cleavage on her compact frame.

"Who was that?" I asked. I watched the redhead's buns wiggle when she went back to work.

"Friend," she said, practically shouting over the din of hungry people.

"Do you fucking know everyone?" I shouted back.

"No," she said. Then she raised her voice. "But I know the right ones."

She knew this burger joint's manager well but it was obvious it was just the tip of the iceberg. There was a lot to Ally that I apparently didn't know, but was about to find out. My boring life was about to get an electric shock. I just didn't know exactly when or where.

We stood in front of a gray metal door marked "Employees Only," which led to the area behind the counter. Moments later a different girl (also cute) wearing the restaurant's uniform, couldn't have been more than eighteen, opened the door and handed Ally two cardboard trays, each holding a burger, fries and a drink. Ally cleared space at the stand up stainless steel counter bolted to the wall, and the two of us squeezed in so we could stand and eat. She picked up her burger, half encased in wax paper. It smelled of cheese and onions.

"It's a special burger that they make for me. It has chopped chilis and grilled onions on it and a piece of American cheese melted over it. Mirabelle makes it for me every time I'm here."

"So is Mirabelle that cute redhead?" I thought it was a beautiful and exotic name -- maybe French? I craned my neck to see if I could get another glimpse of her. She had disappeared from behind the counter.

"Yeah, that's her," Ally said nonchalantly.

"How do you know her?"

"I was introduced to her at this club we're going to. I met her there along with her husband Carlo. They own the franchise for this restaurant."

"Really? So Mirabelle also works behind the counter even though she owns it?" I was impressed. She looked so young to be an owner of such a successful restaurant.

"Yep. She's hands on. That why I think this place is packed all the time. She's finishing up so we might see her later." Ally took a big bite out of her burger. Some ketchup dripped onto her hand. She looked at me as she licked her outstretched palm, almost inviting me to help her. I was getting a distinctly sexual vibe.

"So her husband Carlo ... we might be seeing him later," she said, wiping a dollop of ketchup off her chin.

"Later?"

"At the club."

"What kind of club is this?"

"A social one." She went back to eating a handful of fries and washing it down with her drink. I think that's about as much as she wanted to say on the topic. The smell of the burger and fries was intoxicating to my empty stomach. I took my first bite of the burger. She was right ... it was delicious.

My feet were already starting to kill me.

* * *

The burger hit the spot. I slurped down the rest of my drink and followed Ally out the building. There were still people milling around in the parking lot, and a number of heads turned when Ally fired up her pony car.

I buckled my seat belt, feeling as if I was on a roller coaster and we were just about to go over the apex after a long climb. I kicked off my heels and started rubbing my feet.

Ally signaled for a right turn and eased into the near lane. It was a wide street with a concrete boulevard dividing the east and west traffic. She downshifted, floored the accelerator, and crossed two lanes to the fast lane. My head was pinned against the headrest as my ears were assaulted by the scream of the engine.

"Holy fuck!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I watched us whiz by the cars in the next lane.

My crazy friend let out a primal scream. I looked over and could see the speedometer was already reading eighty.

Then she took her foot off the gas and slowed to the speed of traffic. My heart was still thumping in my chest.

"Like that?" she asked. She clearly enjoyed the sensation of speed.

"Uhh ... I guess?" I was more scared than excited.

"I guess?" she fired back. "There's no guessing here."

My blood pressure was returning to normal. "I had to get over the feeling that I was going to die. After I did, I thought it was fun."

She laughed. "OK ... OK ... I get it. Sometimes I can be a bit impulsive ... but that's what you like about me, isn't it?"

I had to concede that it was. "You're right. You bring the color to my black and white life. I just can't see how you can do this all the time."

"I don't," she said, as she changed lanes to the right and started slowing down more. "Most of the time I watch TV or read a book. But when I go out, I want to have fun." She made sure she lingered on that last word. She looked at me for a moment, taking her eyes off the road. "Say it for me."

"Say what?" I answered quickly. Her eyes went ahead again and I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Fun," she said firmly.

"Fun," I said weakly.

"No, FUN!," she practically shouted.

"FUN!!" I repeated back at a higher volume.

"That's better. I didn't know if you knew the word."

"Ha ha ..." I answered sarcastically. "I know I'm not the most adventurous person. Not like you."

"Not anything like me," she corrected me. "I'm going to fix that."

"What do you mean?" Now she got my interest.

She ignored my question, pretending to concentrate on her driving. She slowed to a crawl and turned right to park on the side of a cinderblock building painted a glossy white. The lot was almost full, and she cursed when she had to jockey her car into a tight space. Ally usually didn't swear, but she said a few choice words that surprised me. Seemed like everything I was learning about Ally's life was a surprise to me.

She slammed the gear shifter into park and looked at me. She didn't say anything.

"Well?" I asked. I obviously didn't know where we were and she was being unusually tight lipped. My eyes scanned the parking lot. It looked like the same assortment of vehicles you'd see at a 7-11. There were no identifying signs on the building.

"We're here," she finally said. She said it as if that meant something to me.

"Ally. I feel like I'm with a different person. I don't know what 'here' means." I held up my hands in exasperation.

"No need to get wound up darling. I told you that I was going to fix your problem."

"Look, I'm not getting out of the car unless you tell me why we're here. And I don't think I have a problem." I broke off eye contact and stared straight ahead to make my point.

"You know what your problem is. Any recent visitors down there?" She pointed to my crotch. I looked down there as well. She had a point. No sex for as long as I could remember. I had no comeback.

"C'mon Karen, it'll be fun. C'mon," she implored, trying to tease me.

I sat there silent and unmoving. She hadn't said anything that convinced me to get out of the car.

"C'mon Karen, do it for me. I know you'll love it." She looked at me, trying to convey her sincerity. I gave her a blank stare back. There was no fucking way I was getting out of the car until I knew where I was going.

"OK, OK," she said, conceding to my stubbornness, "it's ... it's kind of a sex club." She said the word "sex" softly. Maybe she was hoping I wouldn't hear it.

"What?" I asked. I tried to look astonished but I could feel my pussy clench when she said it. Did she say "sex club?"

"You know ... people have sex in there." She paused and I continued to give her a blank stare. "But you don't have to do anything." She said it as if that was going to make it better.

"What goes on in there?"

"I told you ... sex."

"Now you c'mon. Just tell me."

Ally's shoulders slumped. "OK. It's a BDSM club. Bondage and discipline. I'm sure you're thinking whips and chains but it's way more than that. It's all consenting adults. There's all kinds of ways to play. Maybe it's not for you but it changed my life. Really." I could tell that she was leveling with me. It sounded kinky and fun. I tried to remain stoic, but my mind was racing, trying to find a reason to say "no."

She looked at me for a reaction. My eyes softened. Just a little bit.

"I think you'll like it." Ally's eyes sparkled. God she was cute. "Really ... I think it will be a good experience for you."

"I don't know," I said, resigned to knowing that I would eventually give in ... once again. My curiosity was going to get the better of me, despite my instincts telling me it was a bad idea. Thank God my mother wasn't privy to this conversation.

"I know you," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"We haven't known each other long but we've gotten to be good friends ... no, very good friends. We've talked a lot. I think I know you. I think I know what you'll like. I was right about the clothes, wasn't I?"

"Wow," I said, rolling my eyeballs. "You know what I'll like? God Ally, I don't think I even know what I like ... especially when it comes to sex."

She put her hands on my shoulders.

"I do." She said it emphatically. Her eyes said the same thing.

I sat back in my seat. I was forty-two years old. I was by myself. My kids were pretty self-sufficient by now. I'd been divorced for ten years and I couldn't remember that last time I had a good time like this one. Why the fuck couldn't I just get out of the car? Because I never took risks. And look where it got me.

"OK, I said. "OK," I repeated to tell myself that I was really going to do this. Ally perked up.

"But I'm not going to do anything," I added, as much to assure myself to behave.

"No ... no ... really, you don't. Promise." Her eyes remained true. I pulled on the handle and opened the door. I stuck out my new high heel and hit the hard asphalt with the tip. I almost tripped getting out. I looked around to make sure no one saw my ignominious exit.

Ally locked her door and pointed to me to lock mine as well. The doors slammed shut almost at the same time and I wobbled over to her in my new shoes, scuffing the new leather on the soles. She pulled on my hand.

"Jesus. Have you ever worn heels before?" She was wearing the same kind of shoes, but she wore them all the time and could stand up for hours without any visible effort.