Nobody Else Calls Me Fel

Jack must have been ready to catch her. He had an arm thrown around her and was holding her close against his chest, his hand pressing against the back of her head and keeping her nestled into his neck. He kept swirling his fingers for a few more desperate jerks of her hips before finally stilling his touch. Withdrawing his hand to wrap around her back, both arms holding her tight and bringing his fingers to his mouth over her shoulder. She heard and felt him sucking his fingers clean of her juices.

"Well done, baby." He was speaking close to her ear. "You're really good at that."

She could only gasp and whimper in response to his praise, and wish she could find the strength to tell him that those were words he deserved for himself. Powerful, blissful satisfaction lifted her, like a crazy high, like the buzz of drinking too much too fast. Her ears were ringing as if she'd just stepped out of a deafening nightclub onto a silent street.

She felt the tremors moving through her still, and she was so grateful for his firm hold on her. She spoke against his neck, knowing he would only hear her because she was so close. "Oh God, Jack, I have never come like that."

Jack chuckled gently, still cradling her head on his shoulder and nuzzling her hair with his mouth and nose. "Good to know." He murmured back, his voice sounding so warm and close it sent sparks into her spine. "We'll call that a baseline, then."

Felicity moaned weakly against his neck. "There's more than that?"

"We're just getting started."

****************************************

He told her 'We're just getting started,' but after that initial burst of passion and action, a calm seemed to come over Jack. As if he shared the lull that Felicity sank into, after that spectacular orgasm. She was still curled and sighing around him, part dazed with the afterglow and part burning for more but too stunned to do much more than breathe. Jack sat himself up against the headboard, wrapped her in the bedsheets and drew her up gently to lay her head in his lap. Quiet as he let her rest. Stroking his hand up and down her arm. It felt like a long time before he spoke.

"Before this goes any further, Fel... do you want to tell me about it?"

She knew what he was talking about. She didn't have to say anything, if she didn't want to. The understanding that Jack was comfortable giving her the choice, made her want to tell him.

She rolled onto her back, and lay in his lap looking at the ceiling, and tried to think what to say.

Just try and tell him the truth.

"It was at the camp I was working at, over the summer. I knew him for a couple of weeks before we slept together. I didn't... I wasn't in love with him, or anything, but I think maybe I loved being caught up in it all. I think I got carried away. Away from home, different people, it made me feel like I was different, too. That I could be brave."

"And why wasn't it what you hoped for?" His question was mild.

So hard to find a way to explain, to find the words for this twisted knot of disappointment and disillusion. Already fading, after this time with Jack. Thrown into sharp relief, in contrast to him.

"It felt hurried, I guess." She eventually said reluctantly. The very least of how she felt, but maybe she could at least sketch the shape of it. "He was... only thinking of himself. I'm sure that's what it was. It was sort of an anticlimax, and sort of rough, at the same time."

"Rough?" Jack picked up on the word immediately, his voice laced with concern. "How rough are we talking, Fel?"

She felt for his hand, and he reached for hers at the same time, and she squeezed his fingers. "Not like that." She reassured him quietly. "I went along with all of it. I think that's why I was so annoyed with myself."

She kept talking, aware as she spoke how badly she was struggling and fumbling for the words but trying her best all the same. "He was just... at first I thought it was so romantic. When I met him. Like he was so crazy about me. And I wanted... I just had high expectations, I guess. Waiting so long. I thought I was being brave. But once it started... I didn't feel brave." Her voice was beginning to sound quiet in her own ears, and the truth hurt her heart. "I don't know, Jack. I still don't really know what happened. It just seemed to happen really fast, and once it got started, it was like he seemed to... stop noticing me. I know that sounds stupid, when we were... you know, actually having sex, but he just sort of... got on with it. Like the only thing that we were there for was getting himself... getting to the end. I didn't think... that was how it was supposed to be."

He replied to that, even if he just let her talk through everything else. "It's not. I promise you, it's not supposed to be like that."

As she said it out loud, kept on working through it, it was harder to process somehow. Talking about it was supposed to make things better. But it was worse, saying it out loud, than it had been inside her own head. Her eyes flickered up to look for Jack, and he squeezed her hand, letting her know he was still listening. That he wasn't going to interrupt again. Felicity tried to carry on, tried to keep being honest. "He started going at it... pretty hard, towards the end. I mean it probably didn't seem like it to him, and he didn't hurt me exactly. I just wasn't ready for what it would be like. I didn't... I don't think I would have minded, but it felt like I didn't get the time to get used to it and it just kept getting harder. I just kind of had to hold on and I didn't know when it was going to stop." She took a deep breath. Her voice was wavering, but she was nearly there. "As soon as he finished, well basically right after, he was up and done and I just... I left, and I don't think I ever said two words to him again."

"Christ, Babe." Jack had begun stroking her hair as she spoke, as if encouraging her to keep talking and trying to comfort her as the memories came back.

The tone of his voice seemed to say everything that needed to be said. The words were somehow more heavy than it seemed like they aught to be.

Fel swallowed hard, glad now that she had managed to say all of it out loud. Her throat hurt, but her heart felt unburdened. A little more truth welled up in her. "I don't think I could have told anyone else any of that."

She rolled out of Jack's lap, settling into the pillow and closing her eyes. Keeping hold of his hand. It felt safe here with him, and she wasn't sure why sharing her hurt and humiliation would make that so, but it did. She felt Jack settle down in the bed beside her, still leaning back against the headboard. Squeezing her hand.

"Did he know it was your first time?" He asked.

Fel kept her eyes closed, pulled in a deep breath of air. Held it, and shook her head.

His voice was still sympathetic, but she could hear his exasperation. "Well why the fuck not, Fel?"

She let the breath out hard, trying to release her frustration along with it. "I didn't want to seem - immature, or something."

She glanced up at Jack searchingly, trying to decide how much of her heart she wanted to expose to him. She was naked here in bed with him, and that felt fine. But admitting to him how stupid she had been, how she had given herself away over a naieve fantasy... that felt much harder.

She groaned, burying her face in the pillow before she started talking. After a few seconds, Jack dropped down next to her and laid his head on the pillow beside her, whispering in her ear. "Babe, I can't understand a word you're saying."

Reluctantly, she turned her head to face him. His brown eyes were so close, his hair tousled and escaping every which way on the pillow.

"I wanted to be adventurous and romantic, like you." She whispered back. "For fuck's sake, please don't laugh at me or I'll die."

He didn't laugh. Instead he cupped his hand around the back of her neck, pressing his lips to her forehead in a long, fervent kiss. "I'd never laugh at you." He told her.

Felicity raised her eyebrows at him. "Want to watch me try to drive your car?"

Jack burst out laughing and surged against her, kissing her fiercely and rolling her onto her back. She moaned helplessly in her throat as he pulled away the sheets and slid both hands up her ribcage to cup her breasts in a soft squeeze. Released her mouth to work down her neck, kiss both nipples, and then carry on down until he had her butt in his hands and his mouth making hungry love to her between her legs. That sure, that fast. Transforming her from miserable to ecstatic inside of a minute.

Sweet, sensual tongue. Clever fingers slipping inside her, feeling his way so tenderly that it took her breath away. Jack urged her gently along, fingers parting and easing her body open until he could slide his tongue into her alongside them. Licking around his own fingers and exploring her, one hand working into her, the other trailing teasing fingernails through her pubic hair. Maddening, irresistible, until she didn't know what sensation she was feeling from where.

Felicity was moaning freely and clawing at the headboard. Wishing that it had bars, wishing that she could wrap her hands around something solid and brace herself harder against Jack, push herself closer. Maybe he could sense what she wanted. Regardless, he withdrew his fingers, wrapped his arms around her hips and rolled her, pulling her on top of him. Fel gasped and let herself be twisted and flipped around, breathless with delight. She tightened her hands in the sheets, letting her knees take her weight and spread wider and sinking down onto Jack's dancing tongue as he hugged her close. And came again, hotter and harder this time. Pressing her face into the pillows, yelping and shuddering and rolling her hips convulsively against him.

Fel flopped onto her back, panting, glazed with sweat and dizzy with euphoria. A new girl. That fast. Completely new, all her disappointment and self-recrimination forgotten. Washed away.

Jack climbed back up her more slowly, laying his head on her chest. She could feel her own heart beating frantically, feel him breathing heavily. Feel his breath on her bare skin as he murmured to her, to himself, she didn't know. "How did I get this fucking lucky."

She wasn't sure what made him the lucky one. But she always had an answer for him. "Probably by pushing your luck, as usual." She told him, faintly. Gripping his hair in as possessive a hold as she could manage.

Jack recovered his strength faster than her; she was already two steps ahead of him, after all. He closed his teeth playfully on one nipple and before she could cry out, turned the contact into a deep sucking draw that made her moan. When he released her, he replied before swapping sides. "Knew it was going to pay off one day."

Fel could feel him hard against her thigh, the length of him making small surging movements that felt like his dick had a life of it's own. She gasped at a particularly enthusiastic twitch, and Jack murmured to her with warm amusement in his voice. "Sorry, I'm not doing that on purpose. It's got a life of it's own sometimes."

The parallel of his words to her thoughts made her heart skip a little in her chest. Softly, bravely, she began tugging at Jack's shoulders and arms to bring him up to eye level. Pulling him on top of her, fitting him into place for the first time in all their time together tonight. He let her guide him, although he must have known his way much better than she did. For his part, he kept his eyes on hers, moving carefully and keeping his his weight off her as he went.

Jack dropped his hips before he slid up close to her and Fel was sure he'd done it on purpose, to guide that part of himself with a mind of it's own low between her legs. Resting up against her lengthways, angled too far downwards to be an immediate concern to her boundaries. It seemed a diplomatic way to avoid poking against her too overtly, too aggressively, but she wasn't sure if he understood the raw sexual thrill of feeling that hard length caught close between her thighs and rubbing directly througth her wet labia. Or maybe Jack understood everything he was doing to her. The thrill of not quite knowing, though, was part of what was making this night so passionate. So untamed.

He placed his palms on either side of her face, frowning a little into her eyes with the intensity of his gaze, his thumbs touching her cheekbones. "Fel, are you sure you want to carry on?"

She whined with need and nodded urgently, pulling his head down to kiss him hard and lifting her knees, wrapping her legs around him. Wrapping her whole self close around him. Jack tasted of her, now, as well as himself. His stubble still wet from going down on her, and she stroked her own fingers over his skin to help clean him. Licked his jaw, rubbed his face against her hair.

Maybe something about the intimacy she had fallen into broke him. He sank down onto her now with a soft, rumbling growl, but as she pulled him closer the careful angle he had eased himself into between her legs slipped and he slid, everything so wet and slick, and Felicity cried out with the white heat of feeling him almost inside her. Jack broke the kiss with a jerk. "Woah, woah there girl," he said breathlessly. "Just give me a minute, okay, and I'll be ready for you." He was moving away, pulling back. "Just a minute, hold that thought. Whatever it is. You hold it right there, Baby."

Felicity ached and sat up in bed as he pulled away from her embrace, planting a firm kiss on her forehead before he left. She watched him walk naked the few steps to the bathroom, finding it hard to believe that this was actually happening.

She felt feverish, wild, elated, unable to stop gripping the bedsheets in her hands. She felt glorious, as if everything wonderful in the world had already happened, she was thrumming with so much anticipation and pleasure. Even having to wait these few seconds was agonising.

She registered briefly that he'd put on a condom when he came back through the door, and then completely forgot about it when he practically took a leap back into the bed with her. Kissing her fiercely as he stood on his knees and wrapped his arms back around her. She moaned into his mouth with relief and longing and he rolled her over under him, grasping her hair and sliding his eager length right back up against her.

Jack pressed into her, so wet and ready, taking it all the way up to the very limit of penetration before he stopped for a deep, slow breath. Her whole self trembling in a low, shuddering anticipation as he stopped there. And looked into her eyes. Nudged his nose against hers in a playful, intimate gesture. "Ready, you?" He asked her softly.

Fel gulped and nodded and surrendered ecstatically to his kiss as he pushed slowly with his hips, all the power and control of his movement centred on the centre of her.

She gasped into his mouth as her body gave way to his with a gentle shock of pleasure, sending a tight shiver through her abdomen and gripping him firmly inside as he eased into her.

Such a close, tight slide. It felt as if she was drawing him into her, more than anything else. Wanting him so badly, needing. Her knees lifted again instinctively, holding onto Jack. Following him as he pulled himself higher, closer, sinking deeper.

Fel had dropped out of the kiss so that she could breathe through her mouth but she and Jack were just as close, breathing each others' air. He wasn't staring into her eyes, like she had always imagined you were supposed to. She didn't feel like she was being dismissed, though, or being ignored. Jack's eyelids were lowered and he breathed softly against her cheek, and far from being dismissive, Fel felt instinctively that all of his attention was intensely focused on her. Inside and out. When a hitch of tightness took her and she hissed low with pain, Jack had already felt it, already backed off just a little way to let her adjust before moving forward again. He eased himself gradually into her, letting it take as long as she needed. Taking a couple more small withdrawals to push past the tighter places. Their bodies touching and melding all down their chests and stomachs until she felt his pelvis meet hers, and he was completely home and sheathed.

Felicity was entranced and captivated and she could barely even think of moving, could barely think of breathing as Jack moved so slowly on her and a sensation of magical tension built up around them. Not relinquishing more than an inch of the ground he had taken, and slowly at that, as if he knew how much every tiny movement was being magnified inside of her. Shifting and dragging his hips against hers, massaging the hard length of himself tenderly into her depths as her body shuddered and relaxed around him.

"How are you doing?" Jack asked the question quietly, pressing a hand to her cheek. Nipping her ear in gentle, playful teeth as he spoke to her in the softest voice. "We don't have to do any more than this. It doesn't have to be any harder than this. Whatever you want."

Felicity wanted to arch clear off the bed with delight, and she was trying to control her need to pant with pleasure, trying to breathe evenly as Jack shifted gently inside her. Still, she stretched her throat and dragged the back of her scalp across the bed in ecstasy, her head rolling. "I think - I need - God, Jack, I don't know...."

"How about this?"

He pulled away from her with a little more speed, drawing back further before rolling his hips to surge back into her with more strength. Fel arched under him and a moan escaped her throat as he filled her. "Yes, fucking God, yes -" she gasped and moaned again as he repeated the wonderful movement for her.

That was more than enough encouragement for Jack to work with. He fell into a mellow, thrusting rhythm that was easy on her, but driving her out of her mind with pleasure. It felt like... pulling your punches, she thought, as she wrapped her legs tighter around him. Thrilling to feel his movements swaying through her, feel the muscles move in his back, feel how he rose against her with every thrust. Rocking her, and rolling himself against her. Not relying on her body to take the force, but pulling back a little of his strength before he hit home and turning it into a soft, pressing penetration. She was beginning to feel like she was reading his body and his movements, even as he had been reading hers all night.

The sensation of having someone inside her like this was still so new. Some of the feelings were the same; the stretching, the pressure. With Brady, it had felt uncomfortably tight and his movements jarred her body, as he kept jabbing at her. She had been tense with the uncertainty of quite where and how the next thrust was going to hit her. But Jack... Jack was warmed up and melting into her now, moving like he belonged inside her, and everything was re-centring around him so naturally. Around this connection to each other.

Felicity was beginning to cry out as he built up the rhythm, dazed by the powerful response of her body to his movements. Amazed that this burning, uncontrollable pleasure could be in her, part of her, that she had already had sex once before and felt NONE of this. Amazed that it could feel so different. She didn't know where it was coming from now, how Jack was doing this to her. She knew that this was right, though, that this pleasure belonged to her. This was what had been missing, been wanting, been denied to her. And she had known it. Without knowing what it was.

She clutched his shoulders and let her cries of rapture encourage him on, encourage him to keep building. He was giving her some grind, working her deep now, a shattering combination of deep, incredible pressure and broad clitoral stimulation. Slow, and devastating.