All Comments on 'Not a Little Girl Anymore'

Loved it, make more.

What can I do to improve and if you want make part 2 better?

Good style and well written. Bearing in mind, I'm old so no idea how things happen in your world, do guys really barge in and start sex without any seduction? Also, the pill seemed a tad contrived, however on the whole, I enjoyed it. Well done, Anna

Many girls have had similar experience with brother's friend. Some times attraction develops over time others all of a sudden.

I disagree. I was on the pill for hormone regulation and cramp relief for 6 years before I had sex. I thought it was very good, but you could use an editor. Keep writing!

I second the suggestion about getting an editor. There were a few minor spelling and grammatical errors that detracted from the story a little, but it was a good first attempt and you'll only get better - Keep at it!

Good plot, but hard to read due to bad grammar

the plot was interesting, the brother's best friend is a turn on for many girls i believe. I agree with the need for a grammar and speeling check but that's just details. What you might want to do is to elaborate further on the sex scene. don't throw it away so quickly. the basics are definitely there though, you can do a great job. Oh and don't mind the comment on the pill, even if it's not so common some girls need it before being sexual active, and as long as it's not impossible i say you can put it in a story, doesn't need to be that real.

I'll be checking for a part 2, i'd love to know how this story goes on.

Like sex for the truly unprepared, the mechanics of the writing will probably improve with practice .