Not Exactly What He Had in Mind! Ch. 02

"Hold me tonight . . . just hold me"

It wasn't and order. It wasn't even a request. It was just a statement of what she preferred. What she instinctively knew we both needed. I felt she was right . . . I just hadn't dared to suggest it. Even though my whole being was crying out for it . . . and I hadn't even dared to admit it to myself.

A slipping off of my robe. A lifting of a sheet. A snuggling that I hadn't expected. As she struggled to find a comfortable spot . . . eventually we spooned with me behind her. She lifted my arm to cover her shoulder and placed my hand between her breasts.

One soft meow from Ruthy and we both seemed to fall asleep immediately.

**********

A rude pounce upon my chest woke me up. It was late . . . and my cat was letting me know it was time for her breakfast. I had forgotten to set my alarm . . . but my four footed one worked well as its backup! ;)

Keeley was awake and watching me. Her night shirt was back on and the sheet pulled up to her waist. Her smile let me know I was missing something.

". . . and . . .", I prompted.

"You got to see all of me last night. I got to see all of you . . . and that . . . this morning. It was only fair!" She grinned. I looked down and saw that I had kicked of the sheets and my morning woody was standing stiffly at attention. It leaped of its own accorded as Keeley got a fresh view. I went to cover myself with my hands or the sheet . . or anything. Keeley's hands flashed and held my own.

"A lot of girls at the club would be jealous if they saw us right now. Why haven't you ever taken one of them home. More than a few of them have wanted to!"

"The ones I wanted didn't want me. I didn't want to hurt the ones who wanted more than I could give them. The other ones who would have taken me to bed would have been only trouble. REAL trouble. Besides . . . there was one . . . but nobody knows."

"Who!", she said excitedly. "I don't believe it. Some of us were betting you were gay! No one has that kind of control all of the time! Do I know her?"

"Maybe . . . we got drunk one night and I took her home to make sure she got there ok. She kinda jumped me. We did a few things afterwards too . . . but we kept it real quiet. I'm sorry. I can't say who. When it matters . . . if it matters . . . you'll know. I promise"

"Hmmph", she said in a huff.

But I caught her eye and saw the glint of amusement there. I looked plaintively at the clock and she understood.

"You have to go to work. So sorry I can't take care of that for you!", she said as she leered at my painfully stiff cock.

"That's just mean! This is hard enough on me as it is . . . pardon the pun. Will you be ok here on your own while I am gone? Seriously. I can actually call in sick if I need to."

She honestly pondered it a bit. "No. I am ok. I had a look around while you were sleeping. Ruthy showed me the place. It's nice here. Small but nice. You did a good job getting all of my stuff put away. You really got ALL of my stuff into the storage unit? By yourself?"

"Yeah", I said sheepishly. "I'll take you there tomorrow if you'd like. But right now I have to get in the shower. I bent to pick up my robe and put it on. Again she reached out and held my hand. She took it and brought it up to her lips. "No. Please."

Shaken, I thought I understood. I stood up and faced her. She slowly got up and moved around to my side of the bed. She was still so sore . . and the worst of that soreness was actually still yet to come. She looked up at me and held my face in both hands. She kissed me gently and pressed her naked body against mine. I trembled and my swollen cock ached. We held onto each other tightly for a moment. Before things got out of hand, she broke away and led me to the bathroom.

She started the shower and closed the curtain. While we waited for the water to warm up she looked pointedly at my cock. "You have to go to the bathroom don't you? And you can't do it like that? And we really aren't ready to do anything else are we? If you try that here you'll just make a mess."

I murmured a breathless, "It really wouldn't be a good idea."

Keeley smiled that shy honest smile and said, "I'll just have to help you another way won't I!"

Confused, I was shocked as she drew me into the shower by my cock. I struggled for control as I was so close to the body I had wanted for so long. The water was warm and getting warmer as she pushed me towards the spray. She reached again for my cock and pointed it slightly downwards. My body struggled between the need to pee and the need to come. My cock eventually softened slightly and I was able to begin to let go.

Guys are pigs, remember? We ALL pee in the shower. Here was a woman that seemed to understand that! Just don't ask a woman to ever admit that they do it too! Call it a basic natural physical response. Whatever else I didn't know about Keeley . . . I felt it was going to be an interesting learning experience. It was such a strange sensation to have your dick held by someone else while you are peeing. Honestly, I just can't find the proper words to describe it.

It wasn't dirty. It wasn't filthy. I wasn't peeing on her or myself. Just something shared that was so intimate and unexpected. After a long, long time I finished and she actually even shook off the last drops. Then the real "fun" began. Sort of! ;)

Knowing I had to hurry she quickly got a washcloth and soaped me up. Every time I tried to help she slapped my hands away. She was thorough. She was quick. She proved a couple of times that this could be a real pleasurable experience if we just had the time. I had a fetish of sorts for Japanese women. The real old world traditional bath and massage house kind.

One day I vowed I would go to a REAL Japanese bathhouse for the full treatment. It wouldn't have to be sexual . . . just the thought of relaxing enough to allow someone to care for me first for a change would be experience enough for me.

All too soon it was over and I was left alone in the shower to shave and rinse off. By the time I had dried my hair and gotten dressed I was really pressed for time. Imagine my surprise when I saw Keeley naked in my own bathrobe . . . not belted at the waist mind you . . . holding a paper bag with some sort of a lunch inside.

"Just go! We need to talk when you get home. Keep your mind on your work. I'll still be here when you get back. Ruthy will keep me company! And I will follow the rules while you are gone."

"What rules? You don't know my rules. You don't know OUR rules yet!"

She reached up and held my face again in both hands again. "I know you. You know me. For six months I have danced for you. You have cared for me. Rubbed away my pains at the club. Kept tabs on me. Tried to protect me. You see ME when you look at me. Didn't you ever think that I can see YOU when I look back?"

"You couldn't know me as deeply as you seem to do . . . unless it went both ways, my silly boy!"

With that she closed my robe around her body and pushed me out of the door. I had to catch myself and hold on to the stairs handrail as I tried to get down the three flights without killing myself. I was in a complete daze and could hardly remember the drive to work. Thank goodness it was a normal completely screwed up Monday evening at work. Once there I had little time to stop and think about what I had got myself into over the weekend.

**********

One long nasty 12 hour shift later . . . .

**********

I stumbled up the stairs to the apartment. Not sure at all about what I would find on the other side of the door . . . I was worried. Many dancers just rip off their customers at this point. You come home and find yourself just cleaned out . . . or so the urban myths go.

Exhibitionistic, erotic, neurotic, vulnerable, quirky, sexy, graceful, willful, submissive, cute, funny, naive, experienced, insightful, reluctant, shy, glorious, common, quick witted and just as quick tempered . . . but a DANCER as well? Strangely, yes . . . I hoped I hadn't made a mistake.

Even trying to make more noise than I needed to . . . I still fumbled a bit with my keys at the door. I wasn't about to knock at my own apartment door, but I wanted to give her at least some kind of warning. I almost expected for her to have gone all out and have a sumptuous feast ready before my eyes. Men are pigs more than just sometimes!

Or to find everything including my cat gone and just cobwebs left in the corners.

What I actually found was . . . just right. Keeley was there on the couch dressed in jeans and a dark green top. No shoes, as she was curled up watching the weather channel. Ruthy was comfortably stretched out on the other end of the couch . . . looking particularly non-plussed. As if to say all is well . . . I was on duty!

The place was clean . . . but just lived in . . . not scrubbed endlessly by a germaphobic hypochondriac. Some of her stuff that I didn't know what to do with had been put away. But otherwise, all was as I had left it . . . only better somehow in a way I couldn't quite understand. Her bright, shining face must be it, I thought to myself.

"Hungry?", she asked.

"I am doing ok . . . I'll need something in a bit . . . but no rush. And you?"

"I had a snack for a late lunch. We had better talk first for a bit, right?", she asked.

She asked it in her strange way. Not an order. Not a suggestion. Just a preference backed by what she felt was the right thing to do. "Sure . . . that would be right . . . but you need to go first?"

She smiled, thankful that I had picked up on her body language. "I am here in your home. I asked you for help because I need it. I asked you because I want you to be the one to help me. I want to see where this is going to go. We would have NEVER gotten together without something like this happening. Ex would have just used and abused me until it was too late for us . . . and far too late for me."

"I want to leave dancing . . but I can't right now. I need a new place to dance. I need to pay my bills. I need to get a car. I need to pay off my school loans. I need to learn to live and to dance on my own terms while I am doing it. I need to do this on my own . . . but I want to be with you while I learn how to do it. I want you badly . . but my body can't handle you right now"

"I don't want to screw this up," she said. "Should I leave now so we can have a better chance to be together later?"

She held up her hand to stop me from answering. "I am not done yet!", she smiled. "I think if I leave now we will never be together again. Can you handle me dancing for other men for a long, long time? Can you be just with me? Can I trust you? Can I give ALL of myself to you? Can I give up control to you when I need to. I can't go back. You know that. Not all of the way back. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

I said, "Yes".

"You are so sweet. Can you learn to hurt me the way I need to be hurt? I am not so sure you can."

"I understand . . . more than you know. What about me? Do you understand what I need sometimes? How EVERYTHING I am and all that I want to be depends on my being able yield up control to the right person sometimes? That I can't afford to expose myself that deeply again if it is not for real this time?" My voice shook with a surprising depth of emotion.

Keeley seemed shocked. She had missed something. Something I evidently had hid very, very well. Slowly it seemed to dawn on her. "My, my . . this could get complicated"

"Yes", I said. "You said you knew the rules. You knew MY rules. Still think you know so much?"

She thought. She looked directly at me and held my gaze steadily. Neither of us looked away. Finally she said, "I know the rules for right now. For your place. The rules for OUR place will be a bit different. We will have to find one you know. A place for Ruthy. A place for us. Some place where the noise we are going to make won't matter. Will SHE approve?" She glanced knowingly at Ruthy.

Sensing she was the center of attention, Ruthy looked at us both and laid her head back down between her paws.

"She's already decided," I said with a broad smile.

"My rules for now. We find out the rules for US as we go along. We find you a new place to dance in the next two weeks. You have to be . . . sorry . . . WE have to be honest with each other. I am not rescuing you. You are are doing it yourself, and I help when and where you say. If I need to . . . I take control . . . and you will let me do it. But I had better have a DAMN good reason for doing so. If I don't . . . or I am wrong . . . I'll give you a chance to let ME know what it feels like to lose control."

I looked at her seriously. "I promise not to hurt you . . . unless you say to hurt you. I stop when you say to stop . . . but I get to learn when your SAYING stop really MEANS to stop. I won't humiliate you in front of others. What we do is just between us. Those private secrets of what we do are just between us. We don't share the details or include others in ANY way unless we both agree to it. You can ask me to do anything to you, once. Then I decide if I will ever do it again."

I told her, "I don't own you . . . you don't own me . . . we share everything together . . . we get through this together."

She said shyly, "So I get to be in control sometimes? But I can't humiliate you . . . or embarrass you outside of these walls? You can ask me to do ANYTHING to you once . . . and I decide if I ever want to do it to you again? We are partners on this as long as we do it together. We both explore EVERYTHING we can think of. When I say stop . . .and mean it . . you will ALWAYS stop? You have that much control of yourself?"

I nodded gravely and seriously at her.

As she seemed to understand that I really meant what I said, she suddenly broke down.

"But I am damaged goods. I can't do those things for you right now. Even if my body was fully healed how can I be sure I can do anything with ANYONE again! I talk a good game. My mind knows it wants you. It knows it needs you. But my body just doesn't listen anymore. I can't come. I tried while you were gone! I was so ready in the shower this morning . . . but I used the excuse of your having to go to work to stop myself from disappointing you. From disappointing myself. I can't even come on my own! What is wrong with me?"

I reached for and held her. She fell into my arms sobbing. Her body was wracked with great sobs and I felt her tears wet my shoulder. I just held on to her with as much pressure as I thought her bruised body could take. Slowly, so very slowly, she gathered reluctant control of herself. She looked up at me with her tears ruining her mascara. "I need to watch it, don't I?"

"Yes, you do."

"You hid it from me . . . the other tapes were there . . . but my last one wasn't."

"It's safe. I have it. Are you sure?"

"Will you watch it with me? You saw my body. You know what they both did. But I was out of it for a long while and Shelly just kept going didn't she. She also did things to Ex afterwards. I realize that now. But I don't remember parts of what SHE did to me." Keeley suddenly looked at me sharply. "You've already watched it!"

I caught her tightly closed right fist just inches from my face. My second hand caught the predictable left hand coming at my face to scratch me. The head butt she gave me next DID surprise and daze me . . . but at least I managed to keep her legs from coming into play. She struggled to free herself HARD. All of that infamous redheaded temper flailing against me. And I just took it. She finally realized what very few people could guess. She suddenly knew EXACTLY how strong I was . . . and how much pain I could take from her struggles as well. As it dawned on her that I was only holding her . . . not fighting back . . . not even hurting her . . . her struggles suddenly stopped.

"You didn't watch it. You knew if you had watched it . . . it would've hurt me all over again. You knew I had to see it. You knew it would be there . . . and you brought it out of there safely because you knew I would need it to heal?"

"Yes"

"Will you watch it with me . . now?"

"Yes"

"You will hold on to me no matter what . . . whatever I say or do while watching it . . . love me no matter what afterwards?"

"Yes"

And that wry elfin smile came over her again. "Where did you hide it? I looked everywhere you know?"

"Yes, I know. I knew you would look. The things that matter most to me . . . that have hurt me the most . . . that will keep me from loving you the way you deserve sometimes . . . are up here." I said sadly tapping my skull. "The tape is easy. Just ask Ruthy"

"The CAT has it!?!?!?!"

"Just ask her" I said with a smile.

"Your kidding!"

"I'll do it for you this time. Next time Ruthy will decide for herself if she is going to show you whatever it is I choose to hide. I looked at Ruthy and her ears perked up . . . but her eyes remained closed. "Ruthy, what are you guarding for me?"

With a yawn my little guard cat jumped down and lazily strolled over to the entertainment center. She scratched at the right hand corner of the base of the unit. Keeley leapt up off of the couch and pressed inwards on the panel that Ruthy had scratched. A little door panel popped open and inside it was the tape I had pulled off of Ex's equipment. Ruthy, pleased with herself, jumped up in my lap for a well deserved scratch behind her ears.

"That's amazing" , Keeley said.

"Lets eat something before we watch it . . . the tape ran for three hours . . . for your part at least. I do know that much. Ex's part was a bit longer."

**********

All bravery intended . . . it was a long confusing and heartrending event watching that tape . . . one which was rough on both of us. It was hard not to get excited. We both did . . . even if it was at different points sometimes. Shelly may have even knew the tape was being made. The couple of quick direct looks into the camera made me believe that she did. Keeley took the viewing badly in some spots. I took it worse in others.

Hell, it was like watching the best bondage porno in the world . . . except that you realized at odd times that you knew the actors . . . and that they were not acting. On the tape . . . after Keeley passed out that first time, Shelly had actually amused herself with Ex a bit. He had actually woken up and saw most of what happened to Keeley . . . with Shelly describing in explicit detail that this was to be his fate as well. A second gag had kept him quiet while Keeley was tied to the bed and tormented.

On tape Keeley looked awake . . . but just not all there sometimes. That was comforting in a way to me . . . but I knew it was disturbing to her that she didn't remember being so much of an active participant. In a way, a strange way mind you, the tape was a blessing. It would end her relentless torment that came from her not knowing what had happened . . . and it was also a real comfort that we apparently had the only copy.

What surprised us most was how much Keeley was actively trying to talk back to Shelly. Nodding her head at Shelly's questions. Moaning yes or no into the gag. We both had assumed that Keeley was taken at all times against her will. The tape showed different. Sure . . . Keeley had been drugged . . . but she looked more in control of herself at times than either of us had thought possible. It was a puzzle to both of us why she didn't remember more of those last two hours she had been tied up on the bed.

At one point Keeley reached over and grabbed the remote from me. She backed up the scene and turned the volume up as she replayed it.

Shelly was dressed in her blue garter and hose set, but she had removed the half bra that had held her large breasts in confinement. Her nipples were stiff and a sheen of sweat had formed between her breasts. Her black leather strapon harness was tightly strapped to her wide hips. The obscenely large purple dildo was slowly entering Keeley's tight pussy. It's 12 inches struggling to get all the way inside.