All Comments on 'Not for the Innocent'

Truly exceptional and left me wanting more and to find out how everything works out in the end, not just for the main character but for Fairleigh and the others. Bravo Zulu.

Nice romance. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very good first step.

We were warned but it was hard to finish reading and have an unfinished story.

Can't wait to read the next ones.

A great story but the ending is incomplete. 5 stars.

Great story. Ending is a little brief but makes it ripe for a follow up. Keep up the great work.

definitely awaiting the next chapter

I liked the story, but Lisa obviously was NOT who he thought she was. Her disdain about the fishing boat not being up to what she expected was a tell. Then she gets drunk twice in a row after just beginning to date a guy who has quit. The first time maybe can be excused, but a girl who leaves a brand new boyfriend sick at home to go party with his two sponge friends is all about her. Then he jumps into a rebound relationship with his former assistant. He hasn’t matured as much as he thinks even if he did figure Lisa out. 4 stars

I agree with Tx77, Lisa drinks too much on their first night out when Jim is not drinking at all. That’s a lot of drinks, then she gets sick. That should have been a clue right there to stay home with Jim. But to go out dancing and drinking without him, is just stupid. She deals out a lot of hurt to everyone around her, family, friends, herself, and most of all, Jimmy. I hope it works out with Kim. Thank you for sharing your talents with us.

Good story, and a good stopping point. The conflict with Lisa over, and realizing Kim was the right woman all along… it’s a perfect ending.

Nice. Loved it.

5 stars

Another great tale from a talented writer! The live triangle was a nice surprise, wasn't expecting it, and I hope the pop star ends up with the assistant. If nothing else, she have proven her loyalty, while his crush crushed his heart.

Lovely story, such is life.

And looking forward to see how this might continue.

Wonderful story, 10 stars! Lisa screwed up big time, but it looks like Jimmy may have found someone to manage his day to day affairs. Kim admitted she loves him, and just may manage his affairs again. Her name will be Mrs. and then, mommy!

I wish I hadn't read this. What a terribly sad story!

Lisa's behavior seemed super inconsistent. She resists because she us worried she'll be a notch in his bed post and then is suddenly all in on a trip to Greece then drinks excessively and blows him off for his friends on the second night she's there. Even without the hookup that seems off. Why go out without him in the early days of the relationship? Why the switch from super protective of herself to party girl? Seems off and leaves a bad feeling by the end of the story. Suppose she might really just be a troubled or immature girl, but if so it comes out of left field.

Hey, first, I’ll say I love your stories, so I’m torn that this one didn’t work for me. Here’s my hopefully constructive feedback on this story. The Lisa character might have driven the MC to dump her because of her jealousy or lack of trust which was very much aligned with her character development up to that point. I just don’t buy someone who has been slightly prudish (and virgin!) up to that point suddenly taking on a double team while drunk. Also, having had some dirtbag friends, I still struggle with the simultaneous betrayal from life-long friends at the exact same time as the virgin gets a double team…then the MC runs to Kim who has near zero character development. In fiction, I’m all for suspending disbelief, but I’d say you took it a bit too far here. From the ratings and comments so far, it looks like I’m in the minority in not liking this one. Nevertheless, I still love and reread many of your other stories, so keep them coming please.

Don't really want to have to devote my life to trying to figure how multiple stories from a 'universe' all tie in together.

Good story. Now I'm going to have to go listen to that song from On Her Majesty Secret Service.

Loved the story overall. Thought Lisa was too much of an innocent and then overnight gets passed out drunk twice and ends up losing her virginity while sleeping with his two oldest friends? Don't understand how she survived this long still being a virgin.

It also felt like the ending was too rushed.

Anyway, thanks for sharing!!

Also, the whole schtick with Lisa and the two friends all claiming that nothing happened, and Lisa even telling her family that nothing happened when she knew that she was no longer a virgin all seemed to contrived.

Why would his two oldest friends in the world betray him like that and as I mentioned earlier, how did she stay a virgin in college and then lose it on her second night with his friends!?!?

Then to ask for the benefit of the doubt after knowing she was no longer a virgin???? Didn't make sense.

The whole thing just didn't jive with me. Two of his oldest friends betraying him after all this time and the poor innocent girl lying, cheating and betraying him and then trying to hide the truth?

Waiting for the next part. Well done! The betrayal wirks to let him see what was u der his nose the whole time instead of the infatuation with Lisa....

Nice twist at the end. Looking forward to next story. Enjoy your writing.

Leaving aside the cheating, Lisa was still a terrible person.

weird story. just tons of unrealistic shit, you can only ask a reader to suspend so much disbelief before it just becomes absurd. felt like you had a story board for a longer story but decided to try and speedrun it

I like the story, and look forward to reading more. Lisa has some serious issues. She would not date him, was rude to him then practically threw herself at him. She let it be known that she would not sleep with him, gets drunk the first night she us in Greece, does not stay with her sick boyfriend and then gets drunk and sleeps with his friends. I can not see how a character can have any more issues than that.

Not a romance. Loving Wives story. Mediocre, anyway. Disappointing from a good Lit Author

cant wait to see what the twist is with Lisa the action did not match how the character was portrayed. She literally refused to be a booty call for a famous singer then gets wasted and sleeps with his friends? Something is rotten in Denmark or its a cautionary tale.

Sorry, this one just didn't work for me! Looking forward to your next. Love your work but not this one.

Cheers

SAGE

Well, I enjoyed it. I just wish there was more about him and Kim and how it turns out.

waiting for the next chapter. Something is not right with lisa and im not sure kim is the best fit for him

Outside of the money .... Which I found hilarious.... Wooden simple characters..... As stated she went through college a virgin yet gives it up second night in Greece ... So much here that bothered me

A must read!

So much more of the story to tell.

However if it goes no further it still is a five. Sometimes the hardest thing to recognize is true love staring us in the face because we too casually put people in boxes.

The Hoary Cleric

Always love reading from one of the masters - perfect 5.0*!

This is a strange one for me, a good story overall, but with some obvious problems.

We never get any idea of who Kim is, no idea what she looks like(guessing she's attractive) and no real personality apart from very hard working.

And the whole Lisa thing is just weird. She goes through high school, and all of college(and I'm assuming plenty of parties) saving herself for the right person. She finally gets together with the MC and proceeds to get wasted two nights in a row and lose her virginity to his two best and oldest mates? Really?

Anyway, will be interesting to see where you go with this universe your creating.

I am guessing Kim had something to do with Lisa's fall. I hope so because that is a lot of build up for a character to just vanish.

Good story!

5

I am so befuddled.

I really wanted Lisa to work out because Kim was more of an afterthought throughout most of the story. Yeah, she had the hots for him, but Lisa ..........there's gotta be more to the story with what happen with Lisa? And what kind of friends were they?

Now with Kim and Jimmy seeming to "come together" I guess Lisa will be completely out of the picture. I can't believe his two best friends Liam and Jack did it consciously! Any chance, the three of them were drugged?

It just seems terrible to spend so much time with one character and then loser her so quickly.

I'm going to hold back any star rating to see where you're going to go with this. Up until the Last night you had a 5 star. It is your story I just wish it had turned a different way.

So he sent her out with his best and trusted feiends, she rrusted them, they raped her, and he makes her responsible? If anyone is at fault, it‘s him.

The story started off well but how coincidental is it to keep running into Mike? Not very realistic.

Then, the last part with Kim was so rushed that I felt you were trying to get it done so you could be somewhere else. I normally enjoy your stories but this one isn't up to your usual standard.

Well written but a poor story.

Loved your story, especially the O’Henry ending. Well developed and beautifully paced.

Thanks and five stars from me.

Great story, I loved the interaction and discussions between characters. 5*

I'm so happy he ended up with Kim and not Lisa I was getting bad vibes from her by like the end of page 2

So, I know Lisa isn't a sympathetic character, but what I see reading behind the lines is, her family would have pressured the hell out of her. I know it not the typical gaslighting, but it qualifies as gaslighting if she flat out did not love him and got told on a daily basis how crazy she was not to love him. It's as if she banged his friends just to shut her family up and STILL didn't work.

Absolutely delightful. The improbabilities lurk, but after all, it’s fiction ain’t it? Marcador es cinco.

I liked the story, as I do all your writings. As you warned in your intro, this feels incomplete and threadbare to me. I look forward to the other stories fleshing out this universe. Good callback to your previous work with CJ Anthony.

As for Lisa being “weird” with her actions, I look at the first drunken night as nerves with her famous boyfriend. The second night with the “friends reeks of date rape drugs. The glazed eyes and lack of memory give that away.

Poor Mike, having to deal with a lying slut for a daughter. Glad that Jimmy took the high road, but you never leave your prized hen in the coop with the fox...

Previous comments had some valid points, but there's one clear irrefutable evidence Lisa was bad idea as a long term partner.

The Zoo date... she ghosted him **without the courtesy of bothering to tell him**. Breaking a date because her parents are in town.. OK I can easily understand that. Being an ass about standing a person up... THAT shows poor moral character. Selfish bitch who doesn't care about effects of what she does on others.

And as for the club thing that ended it... again, I can may be buy arguments that she was date raped in the "best" (for her characterization as a human being) case. BUT... she wasn't drugged when she chose to go clubbing while her BF was sick, or when she lied to him later.

One thing I REALLY didn't get about this story: those 2 friends had a forever meal ticket. I find it VERY VERY hard to believe they gave it up just for sex - ESPECIALLY since the author clearly stated they had no problems getting laid anyway.

Regardless, 5 stars for a good heartwarming story with karmic happy end.

Strange. Could have been a great story but was somehow unsatisfying.

I'd say, there is a future and eapansion of the story lines. I don't want Lisa written out yet, it's likely that NO commenters have ever lived a relationship with a reformed bad boy millionaire rock star. I say she sneaks back in, and she and Kim figure it out. So many ways it could go, so many people swirl around such a performer that personal problems are bound to happen; it's how the reformed artist is going to cope and adapt that will matter.

Life sucks for rich folks.

This story seemed to take a left turn at Albuquerque just to fit the title. Lots of pining over Lisa only to fuck the secretary at the end....

I like it! 5 BIG ONES!

That was frustrating but in a good way. I really felt for the MC and his struggles with first Lisa then Kim. I do wish the ending was longer but as this is part of a shared universe I assume the characters will get a bit more attention in the future. 5 stars.

Too bad that went that way. Just wondering did it show Lisa’s proclivity to cheating or was it just a mistake because how inebriated she was?

The Super 6, was the pizza place Aurellio's? I grew up on that pizza, it only made it's way into the city about 20 years ago. Nice story but what's with all the virtue signaling? It gets a little thick. "What kind of a dickhead orders without looking at the menu"? Uh, tons of people know what they want without looking. There was really no need to insert more "I'm learning to be virtuous".

I find Jimmy very unlikable. I know you try to write him another way but he sure loves to laud his money over others. Also, what was with the baby and girlfriend thing? They were finally hanging out and he just jumped straight to gf? Who does that? I know Lisa is the one who screwed up but she might have avoided a nightmare with as controlling as he seems to be.

Another great story! Can't wait to see which way this goes. I read the second installment first but I'm on track now. Keep up the great work

Umm how stupid are his two ex friends? They got everything they could want hanging around with Jimmy, but then give it all up to bang Lisa? Makes zero sense. Don't think Lisa was.mature enough for Jimmy foe a long term relationship. But sounds like she was really drunk and coerced by the two assholes. Jimmy can do.what he wants but that doesn't make her a terrible person. But then again their relationship was still early and a bit tumultuous. Why suddenly Kim was weird and too abrupt.

Didn't see this one coming until the visit to Lisa's family home. But is Kim just a rebound lover? He never had an interest until Lisa screwed up, literally.

Good writing, but the ending makes no sense. I can't believe his two lifelong friends and his virginal girlfriend would have sex, even if all three were drunk. I hope the next tale in this "universe" sense.

If she was that drunk she couldn't give consent she was essentially raped

Started off strong but then crashed and sorta burned, it’s a habit I notice with most of your stories you add something dramatic and then end the story at awful parts, like yes him and Kim go on a date, then what do they have kids have a happily ever after, what happens to Lisa and his friends, what happens to mike and the rest of his family, does he become successful? It’s frustrating to the extreme when stories are half finished

…again…I’m looking for the story…bits and pieces are kind of boring. His first ever girlfriend got raped and he dumped her. What a guy. No one to like hi this unfinished story.

This is your worst story. Hands down. How you feel this is romance in any way is beyond me

she didn't get raped she asked for it. Think about it? She got wasted before hand and still got wasted again. only w/o him.

I can't believe a commentor tried to say she was raped. Making up your own narrative? Liberal much?

I wanted to say that it's a tricky situation described and being argued over, but honestly, it isn't. Not being sober, she was unable to give consent. I repeat that fellas, cause if you don't get that you are looking for trouble in the real world: someone under the influence is not able to give consent, which makes anything sexual involving them in that state rape, even if they are willingly participating at the time. That's not a political argument, that's a pretty good legal standard which, having a 19 year old daughter, I am happy is in place.

Second reading

I hope you don't turn Lisa into "bad woman"

I fell in "love" with her, I still can't believe she out of his life

The Lisa angle made no sense and now you are going to subject us to probably 4+ pages of how and why she fell.

Sorry, not interested as her story arc is over and she is no longer relevant.

Worst ending I have read in a long time. I quit after he left Lisa at her parents house and skimmed through to the end but felt like I had wasted my time reading the story after investing so much time and hope for Lisa being the one.

Great story of real people.

The story was good up until the disappointing ending.

The story was great until the ending, which fell very flat. Needs a second chapter.

Another excellent read, great story, I found it hard to stop reading once I started⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This author writes some very good stories. This isn’t one of them. It might be one of the worst stories I’ve read on this site. How is it stupid? Let us count the ways.

I was a singer in a rock band in college. The first thing I did when I wanted to put my drunken/partying man whore days behind me is go on vacation with my drunken man whore pals. Cuz that’s what we’d all do right?

Then he invites an innocent girl her barely knew on a foreign vacation with him and his drunken man whore friends. When you thought it just couldn’t get any dumber he pushes the girl off on his two drunken man whore friends to take her out drinking. When the girl, who managed to keep her virginity through four years in college is basically raped by his drunken man whore friends her blames the girl he barely knew. Who do you spell moron? I think it J-i-m-m-y. Lisa should have sued his ass off. “Rock star with questionable drunken man whore past takes virgin girl to foreign country and sets her up to be raped by drunken man whore friends.” Yeah. That headline would’ve been great for his career. Just plain stupid.

Love your stories! Loved this one until the end with Lisa. So much angst going on between them, then they finally get together and love is in the air. Great!! Just didn’t care for the rest after that. I read the romance stories so that I can see people’s relationships actually work out. If I want reality all I have to do is look in the mirror. The ending was just too much. A waste of a good story. LM

Lisa kept 'Dicking' around till she really screwed up. She knew not to party but did anyway. And paid the price.