Not While I'm Still a Live

Beth was born four years after her. So for four years mom and dad were hers and hers alone. After Beth, came Susan, just a scant eleven months later. They were both brats too. She laughed at that, but they always looked up to her as their older sister. Then when she was nineteen, Cindy met Jordan. They were in the same class in college. English Lit. a mandatory course for them. She thought Jordan was the most handsome man she had ever seen. Her problem was he never paid her any attention.

For two years, their sophomore and junior years, she tried to get him to ask her out, to no avail. It was at the start of their fourth, senior, year that he finally noticed her. She almost blew him off, but he was so dreamy, she couldn't do that. She was in love with him long before he was in love with her. They started going out and became a steady thing that last year. After graduation, they both got jobs in Chicago. Jordan asked her to marry him once they did. She accepted.

For fifteen years they had been husband and wife. They had tried to have children, but it turned out that Cindy was sterile. It was determined to be a genetic defect in her ovaries. They just wouldn't produce eggs. Both Cindy and Jordan were so sad, that they both fell into a deep depression. It was only through the help of Cindy's sister Beth that they both climbed out of it. Beth quit her job and lived with the two for a year. She took them to therapy, fixed their meals and did the housework for them.

When they had recovered she left them. They thanked her profusely and want to do something for her but she just told them to pay it forward, that she was happy she could help them. Beth stayed in Chicago and Jordan got her a job with a client of the company he worked for. Cindy always tried to set Beth up with some of their single friends but she refused. Jordan, on the other hand, was always ready to help Beth with fixing things around her apartment when the super wouldn't fix them. Beth always appreciated that kind of help.

A noise farther back in the house alerted Cindy that Jordan was up and about. She sat waiting for him. She smiled when he came stumbling into the kitchen looking for coffee. She knew better than to talk to him before his coffee, so she remained silent, allowing him to start any conversation about her stupidity. And it was stupidity. She could even see that now. She had the perfect husband and she had almost thrown that away on a whim. A stupid whim. That's all it was, too.

Jordan sat across from Cindy. He scowled at her. Took a sip of his coffee, closed his eyes and nodded. Another sip and he opened his eyes just stared at Cindy. He wasn't up to thinking about anything yet so he just stared, hoping his face was neutral. Cindy frowned as he stared at her. They looked at each other for the next fifteen minutes or so.

"What have you been thinking about?" Jordan asked.

"How stupid I was. How I almost ruined my life and marriage. How sorry I am for being so stupid and thinking you would be okay with what I had planned. I'm so sorry Jordie, please forgive me. I know you will never forget what I did and almost did, but if you can see it in your heart to forgive me, please do. I just want you to be mine and me to be yours. I was such an idiot..."

"Okay, that's enough. You are right though, I will never forget, but somewhere down the road I will forgive. Not just yet, but someday. I'll tell when I have gotten there. Until then..." Jordan stopped.

"Until then...what, dear?" asked Cindy.

"Tomorrow, I will drive you to work where you will resign..."

"NO, please..." Cindy shouted her hands covering her mouth.

"Yes. If not that, then I will have a talk with your boss about how one of his employees decided it was a good idea to try and fuck another employee."

"Oh god, no. No, no, no..." cried Cindy.

"Those are your choices," Jordan said softly.

Cindy put her face in her hands. She loved what she did at work but she could see Jordan's point of view on her and Kevin being thrown together at work. It would come to no good and she knew it. Nodding she made her choice.

"I'll resign," she said dejectedly.

"Good choice."

"What do I tell them the reason is for my resignation?"

"Tell them you want to spend more time with your family," Jordan said.

"Will, that be what I will be doing?"

"I don't know, it depends on you."

"I see. Or I don't see."

"We are both young. We have both been making good money. Our checking account has six figures in it and our savings account has seven figures in it. Retirement age is still a long way off, but both our 401k's have been growing instead of withering away like so many others.

"We are pretty set for life now. Take some time off, relax, try to win me back as you did in college."

"What?" Cindy said confused.

"I noticed you in our second year. I played hard to get just to see if you really wanted me or I was just a passing fad like so many other girls thought. But you hung in there. That's why I finally asked you out. I was in love with you for a year before I asked you out. And up until yesterday, I loved you more each day we were together."

"And today?" Cindy whispered.

"Today, I don't know about today, yet. Nor tomorrow. Or the next day. We will have to wait and see. We're not out of the woods of despair yet."

"Oh god," gasped Cindy. "I have really fucked up, haven't I?"

"Almost, almost. You pulled it out in the very last inning to use a sports vernacular. If I had been a man of my word, I wouldn't have let you in the house, but I thought I would give you one more chance to redeem a little portion of your life. You did notice your key didn't work?"

"I did. That scared me to death. Then you opened the door. I thought to myself, 'I'm saved' but then you started yelling and I knew I was in a shitload of trouble."

"And you still insisted you were going through with..."

"I know, stupid huh?"

"Yes and the funny thing is, you are not a stupid person. You are the most intelligent person I know. Smart, however, you are not."

"Oh god."

Cindy and Jordan sat at the kitchen table talking about nothing and everything for four hours. Cindy made lunch and they continued to talk into the night.

Monday, Jordan drove Cindy to her place of employment and went in with her. When he saw Kevin heading to cut them off he took Cindy's hand and stopped.

"Don't worry, I have this Jordie," Cindy said standing straight and proud.

"Cindy are you all right?" Kevin asked.

"I'm fine Kevin. Now if you will pardon us, I have to see Mister Applegate. I'm resigning today..."

"What? You can't?" Kevin said.

"I can and I will. Now out of our way," Cindy said stepping around Kevin.

Jordan just sneered at him as they passed him. At the door to Luke Applegate's office, Jordan waited while Cindy went inside. Jordan heard all kinds of yelling and poked his head into the office. He glared at Luke, who he knew from business dealings. Luke lowered his voice when he saw Jordan. He nodded at Cindy. Cindy took Jordan by the hand and went to her desk. Grace her work friend brought her a box to put her things in.

She was packed and ready to go. They took a different route out, so she could say goodbye to friends and co-workers. They didn't see Kevin on the way out, but he was in the parking lot. Jordan laughed at him. As they approached their car. Cindy just looked disgusted.

"Don't be stupid Kevin," Cindy said.

"I just want to make sure you're okay," he said glaring at Jordan.

Jordan just smiled at him shaking his head while he put Cindy's things in the trunk.

"I'm fine and I told you yesterday I didn't want to see you again... so go away and leave me alone."

"Hey, Kevin, have you told your wife yet?" Jordan asked standing beside his wife.

Cindy gasped at that tidbit of news. Kevin just glared at Jordan.

"How...?"

"You are wearing your wedding band today," Jordan said pointing at his ring finger.

"Cindy, I can explain..."

"No, you can't. Now get away from us."

Kevin looked like he was ready to take a swing at both of them.

"Go ahead," Jordan said softly staring at Kevin, anger, and hate in his eyes.

Kevin relaxed, turned and walked away. Jordan helped Cindy in the car, then got in and they drove away. Jordan watched Kevin in the rearview mirror until they turned out onto the highway. As far as Jordan was concerned this was over and done with. He had his wife back, just slightly sullied with her fidelity intact, in a way. He still didn't trust her but they would work on that going forward.

Six months later ~~~~~

Cindy and Jordan had just returned from a vacation in Hawaii. Cindy had always wanted to go there. Two weeks on the white sands of Hawaii did wonders for their marriage and sex life. Yes, they had resumed having sex just before they left on their vacation. Or what Cindy liked to call their second honeymoon. She had a wonderful time being with her husband at such a romantic and beautiful place.

They met all kinds of new and interesting people there. They even met a couple from Chicago who weren't much older than they were and didn't live all that far from them. Jordan had a great time with his wife. He had forgiven her for what she did and almost did two months after the incident. They had talked a lot over that two months. And they continue to talk about their feelings and anything that is bothering them. Cindy is much happier than she thought she would be. Jordan's feelings for his wife are back to where they were before the incident, so he is happy.

Both are determined to a strict adherence to their marriage vows for the rest of their lives. Promises have been made and their vows reaffirmed. They are happy and hope they will remain so until death do they part.

The End