Not without My Son

***

Over the next few days, the four of them stayed within the bunker. Varun and Kaseba were always together. With Varun going back to India and Kaseba going to Mbansi, Kavya thought the boys were aware that they might not see each other in person for years to come. Kavya found that Lupita was very good company and felt like a long lost friend. Kaseba and Lupita really loved each other, having supported each other since Lupita's husband died few years back. Kaseba seemed very mature for his age, his talks and manners were that of someone much older than him. Kavya thought the death of his father must've forced him to grow up faster than others of his age.

They were able to manage sufficient food and water to get by. As the cellular network came back up in the area, Kavya called Anmol and updated him about their present situation. War in the city had escalated again, with Ugowian soldiers trying to push back into the city from the east. More Zambawian soldiers had arrived with reinforcements, better ammunitions and military equipment. The Indian government was still trying to get a ceasefire from both the warring sides to get an evacuation window. All they could do was wait and watch.

Kavya and Varun hadn't really had a chance to speak with each other in private. Beneath the relief of being reunited and finding each other well, Kavya could glimpse the longing and desire in Varun's eyes for her, as well as the pain of having been rejected. He hadn't brought up any mention of that night, nor had he tried to show any physical affection to her, other than the kiss on her lips when they had found one another again. It suited Kavya just fine as she didn't want to deal with the tension between them until they were safely back in India.

On the third day of Kavya's arrival, she woke up early in the morning. Varun was still asleep. Lupita and Kaseba were not in the bunker. She found it odd. They had heard gunshots and explosions intermittently throughout yesterday and had stayed inside. It was quiet now. Cautiously, she went outside. It was a cool morning. The sun had yet to rise and there was a faint light in the sky. The house had been almost destroyed, with only few of the walls still standing. Kavya heard some sounds coming from within the ruins.

Curious, she slowly walked to the other side, peeked inside from a broken window and froze. Kaseba stood, within the destroyed room, his pants around his knees. Lupita crouched on the floor in front of him. The woman was giving a blowjob to her own son!

Kavya ducked and sat on the ground, her heart pounding. Her mind raced with the implications of what she just witnessed. She rubbed her eyes to be fully awake and slowly peeked back inside. The room might have been a living room or a bedroom, it was hard to tell. All that remained within was reduced to a jumbled mess of debris. Three of the walls were still intact. The fourth wall and the roof were almost gone.

Kaseba leaned against a wall, his t-shirt was pulled up, revealing his toned abs. His pants and underwear were down to his knees. His eyes were closed and he moaned slowly, lost in the pleasures. Lupita shifted slightly to adjust herself as she crouched on the rubble strewn floor. Her blouse were undone at the front and her breasts were out in the open. They jiggled as she shifted her body. Both her hands roamed freely on her son's abs and butt. Hands-free, she pleasured him with her mouth, sucking his cock and bobbing her head back and forth.

Lupita let Kaseba's cock out of her mouth for a second. The long, hard shaft glistened with saliva and jumped with the rhythm of his heartbeat. She looked up at her son and they both shared a short laugh. She licked the underside of his cock. Kaseba said something to her. Lupita smiled and took her son's erection back into her mouth. As much as Kavya was shocked, she was rooted in her place watching the mother sexually pleasure her son, no matter how much she wanted to leave.

Kaseba's moans increased in frequency. Lupita picked up pace, moving her head back and forth on his cock head while holding the base of his cock with her hand. The curvy woman was really going for it. Kaseba grunted and squeezed his eyes shut as he shot his cum down his mother's throat. Lupita gulped and swallowed her son's load without wasting a single drop. Kavya quietly slipped back into the bunker, too stunned to think anything else.

***

Later that day, Lupita and Kaseba went out to get some food, leaving Kavya and Varun alone for the first time. Kavya was still in shock about what she'd seen earlier in the morning. She had tried to act normal with Lupita and Kaseba and hoped they didn't know she had watched them. After they left, Kavya sat next to Varun who was engrossed in his phone.

"I just got off the call with one of your father's students," Kavya said. "She said they're still hiding within their bunkers awaiting further news. The University is also in touch with the Indian embassy about any evacuation plans."

Varun grunted in acknowledgement keeping his eyes fixed on his phone. Kavya sighed and said, "How long are we not going to talk?"

"Talk about what?"

"You know what I mean. Don't pretend otherwise," she said.

Varun looked up at her, meeting her eyes. There was pain and sadness in his eyes. "What do you want me say, ma? You already know how I feel about you. You might think of it as something... dirty and disgusting. A sin. But I can't change myself." He exhaled audibly and looked away. "Anyways, doesn't matter now. I don't think I am getting out of here alive."

"Don't say that!" Kavya said, sharply and pulled him into a hug. "I won't lose you again."

Varun buried his head into her chest. His voice cracked with emotions. "I love you, ma. I thought I'd never see you again. I don't want to die. I want to spend my life with you... loving you."

"Loving me... like Kaseba and Lupita?" she asked.

Varun looked at her, astonished. The look on his face confirmed whatever lingering doubts she still had.

"I saw them this morning. Lupita was... uh... on her knees in front of Kaseba...," Kavya struggled to describe.

Varun nodded, slowly. "They're lovers."

"You knew that?"

"They've been lovers for two years now, shortly after Kaseba's 18th birthday. He told me about it 10 months ago, when I confessed to him that I was in love with you."

"You want us to be like them?"

"Is that so terrible?"

"Varun... that's... incest!"

"That's just a word. Besides, dad doesn't care about us. You deserve so much better. Why can't I be the man for you?"

Kavya looked away. Varun kept looking at her eagerly for an answer but she remained silent. He got up and went outside, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

***

That night, after a meagre dinner, Lupita asked Kavya to come outside with her. Kavya gave her a questioning look. Lupita showed her a small bottle of whiskey and gave her a wink. Kavya smiled and followed her out.

The night was thankfully quiet, devoid of sounds of gunshots or explosions or rockets lighting up the dark sky. The two women went inside the ruins of the house and made themselves comfortable. Lupita opened the bottle, took a sip and handed it to Kavya. Kavya took a sip of the whiskey and felt her insides blissfully warming up.

"Mbansi very beautiful this time of year," Lupita said. "We had a big orchard and cacao plantation. I played there with my cousins," Lupita said, smiling. She closed her eyes as if seeing and smelling the roasted cocoa beans from her memories. "Will renovate our old family house. Restore orchard again. Good life."

"Looks like you've planned everything," Kavya said with a smile.

They were silent for a while, passing the bottle between them. Lupita took another sip and said, "I know you saw us today morning."

Kavya was shocked to hear it. She started stammering, "I uh... I am so sorry, Lupita. I just... I mean..."

Lupita smiled and said, "Don't worry. I am not mad at you. Not ashamed about it. I am glad you saw."

"I don't understand."

Lupita looked at her with sad eyes. "Don't you see the love in your son's heart for you? His longing, his desire? You desire him too, don't you?"

Kavya looked away. She didn't dare to meet eyes with Lupita, afraid the other woman might see inside her soul and recognize the longing she had for Varun, the desire she didn't want to admit even to herself.

"How did you know about Varun's love for me?" Kavya asked.

"Varun and Kaseba are brothers. Kaseba and I were already in relationship. Kaseba suspected Varun's love for you. He trusted his brother and revealed our secret to him. Brought Varun to me. We encouraged him to show his love to you."

Kavya nodded, puzzle pieces falling into place in her mind. She remembered all those compliments, hugs, kisses and "accidental" erections from her son over the last few months.

"From what he told us, I am sure you have feelings for him, too. He was so happy that you were finally happy after all these years. I could see joy in his eyes. And I saw his pain few nights ago. He came to us after you slapped him."

Lupita placed her hand over Kavya's and squeezed it gently. "Your son loves you, Kavya. We're both fortunate to have such loving sons."

"I don't know what to do. I am scared, Lupita," said Kavya.

"Don't be. I know it feels scary. Our culture and society taught us it's ugly. But how can love be ugly? Love is beautiful. Everyday I wake up, I am happy to be in love with my son."

Lupita smiled fondly and continued, "It's greatest feeling in world, Kavya. Having your son return back to you. Becoming one with your body again. When we settle in Mbansi, I hope to make Kaseba, a father."

Sensing Kavya's reluctance, Lupita said, "I think in your heart, you already know what to do," Lupita said with a smile. "I trust you'll make the right decision."

Lupita went back inside the bunker, leaving Kavya with the bottle and her thoughts.

***

Good news greeted them next morning. Ugowia and Zambawi had agreed upon a ceasefire for the next day, to open up a humanitarian corridor for evacuation of foreign nationals. Kavya and Lupita rejoiced with their sons. They were finally getting out of the war zone. Kavya got on the phone with Anmol's students and arranged seats for her and Varun in the buses arranged by the Indian embassy. Lupita spoke with her husband's friend to come pick up her and Kaseba.

Lupita and Kaseba packed their bags with Kavya's and Varun's help. Even though their house was destroyed, they had managed to save quite a few of their belongings. Kavya and Varun were already living out of their bags, there wasn't much for them to pack. They spoke long into the night, especially Varun and Kaseba, who knew they wouldn't be seeing each other for a long time.

That night, everyone went to sleep, with a sense of hope and optimism for the first time in days. Kavya lit a small oil lamp near her idol of Lord Ganesh, which she had placed on a shelf. She prayed and conveyed her gratitude. Lupita and Kaseba finally retired to their corner of the bunker where they got into Lupita's bed. Kaseba didn't bother making his separate bed and got in with his mother, cuddling her. Kavya suggested to Varun that they too share a single bed to avoid making another bed for Varun since most of the stuff were already packed. Varun got into the bed with her and they lay there in the dark.

Kavya was lost in her thoughts, thinking about how she and Varun would be back in India in a few days. Life would be completely changed. She had no idea when they'd be back to Zambawi or if they'd never be back. When she first came to Zambawi, she had hated it. The extremely hot weather, the different language and culture felt alien to her. She had been alone in this strange country with an uncaring husband. With the birth of Varun and opening up her own bakery, she had grown fond of this country. It pained her to see it getting destroyed. They'd have to build a new life in India.

The thought of her husband depressed her. Their marriage was almost non-existent. She couldn't say it was dead, it had never been alive to begin with. She had felt true happiness with Varun in the last couple of months. She and her son had been building towards something new, something different. She had been excited but also conflicted and had finally pushed Varun away. Yet now, the thought of returning to her husband to continue that loveless life bothered her.

Sounds of kissing and the rustling of the sheets interrupted her thoughts. She listened closely without moving or making a sound. Low moans along with kissing sounds were coming from Lupita's bed. She peeked out of her blanket to glance towards Lupita's bed. In the faint light coming from her prayer lamp, Kavya saw the two bodies moving inside Lupita's blanket. She felt amused and embarrassed that Lupita and Kaseba were pleasuring each other. She stayed still, wondering if Varun was also aware of their activities. Further prolonged rustling of the sheets suggested shifting of the bodies. Soon after, there was a long moan from Lupita and a grunt from Kaseba, with more kisses. Rhythmic creaking sounds of the bed followed thereafter. Kavya smiled, feeling hot and flushed. She peeked at them again. The mother and son were definitely celebrating their last night in Zambawi.

She wondered if Varun was awake. He had laid absolutely still without any indication. Kaseba and Lupita's moans became louder. They had abandoned all pretense and were fucking openly. They knew that their guests were already aware of their relationship, there was no point in hiding it anymore. Lupita moaned loudly, encouraging her son in her native tongue, begging him to fuck her harder. The bed creaked louder as Kaseba put more effort into their carnal activities. Kavya's mind whirled by the unabashed sexual display from the mother and son.

So this is what it looks like. Is this where I and Varun are headed? Is this what he wants? Is this what I want?

Lupita's words from the previous evening echoed in her mind. It was true what Lupita had said about Varun, there was no denying that. Varun truly loved her, not just as a son but also as a man. Kavya had felt it over the last several months. She had been swept off her feet by her son's affection and love. All throughout her married life, she had never felt such thrill and exhilaration, such happiness. She deserved to be loved and Varun deserved her love. But the thought of taking the next step terrified her. It was a massive commitment and a huge mental and psychological shift, one not to be taken lightly. And what about her marital life and her husband? The thought depressed her. She and Varun were ultimately going to India, back to Anmol. There would be no future for her relationship with Varun. They could never be together as man and woman. Did she want to get into such a relationship which had no future?

Kavya felt sorry for Varun. She still wasn't sure about her own feelings but didn't want to hurt him either. She had to take a firm decision and stick to it. Lupita's moans rose in volume and frequency. She cried out as she reached orgasm and Kaseba grunted as he climaxed. Kavya made up her mind. She had to break Varun's heart and probably her own as well. She had to let Varun know. They could never be like Lupita and Kaseba. They could never become lovers.

***

Early next morning, Kavya was woken up by the sounds of Lupita and Kaseba getting dressed. Varun was still asleep next to her.

"Sorry," Lupita whispered. "Didn't want to wake you up."

"It's ok. Though, I was awake late into the night," Kavya said, with a sly smile and a wink.

Lupita blushed. "We couldn't resist," she said, sheepishly.

"Where are you going?"

"Getting some food for the road. You want some?" Lupita asked.

"That would be nice. Thanks."

"Ok. We'll be back soon," Lupita said as she and Kaseba left.

It was still quite early. Kavya contemplated going back to sleep, but she couldn't. She sat on the bed looking at Varun. It was finally the day they'd leave Tumora. Lupita's ride would arrive at ten o'clock. Kavya and Varun would take their leave and go to the University. Buses arranged by the Indian embassy were slated to leave at noon.

Air raid sirens blared loudly. Varun jolted awake and sat up while Kavya looked around in panic. They looked at each other with fear in their eyes. Powerful explosions rocked nearby, overwhelming them with sounds and shaking the bunker. Kavya pulled Varun into a tight hug, her heart pounding with dread. She had no idea how much time passed. They waited inside the bunker until the there were no more explosions and the siren stopped.

Cautiously, they ventured outside. It was complete chaos. The air was filled with smoke and dust. Fresh debris strewn on the street from couple of more collapsed buildings. Some of the structures were on fire and others destroyed. Civilians ran around in panic, some of them in tears and injured, supporting others. Kavya looked around in horror.

Varun gave a sudden shout and sprinted down the road. Startled, Kavya rushed after him. Varun reached the place before her and that's when she saw. Lupita and Kaseba lay on the side walk, near the wall of a damaged building. To Kavya, the mother and son, looked peaceful, lovers resting in each other's arms, eyes closed. But they were buried under concrete blocks, blood running down their faces from the gaping wounds on their heads.

***

Ugowia's violation of the ceasefire had put a halt to the evacuation activities. The unexpected attack had cost the lives of several Zambawian civilians, soldiers and few foreign nationals. It was only by afternoon that Lupita's and Kaseba's bodies were recovered from under the debris. With heavy hearts and tears in their eyes, Kavya and Varun, buried Lupita and Kaseba.

The bunker felt empty when Kavya returned with Varun from the graveyard, that night. The absence of the smiling faces and sounds of Lupita and Kaseba haunted Kavya. Varun had been inconsolable at the loss of his best friend, sobbing all throughout the funeral. Now he just sat on the bed, vacant expression on his face. He had run out of tears. Kavya sat next to him in a silent daze. She looked around at the packed bags.

Lupita had been so excited to leave and start a new life with her son. Not just start a new life but also create a new life within her womb, born out of their love. Now they'll forever rest within the earth of Zambawi. Kavya reflected on the fickle and cruel nature of life itself, alive one moment, gone the next. Just that morning, she had felt happy and optimistic about leaving the war zone with her son, but now she wasn't so sure. Will they be even alive tomorrow? Or lying somewhere cold, dead and forgotten?

Kavya looked at Varun. He looked back at her, a single tear welled up and drop down his cheek. The mother and son hugged each other, trying to find solace from the day's tragedy. She slowly pulled his face closer and kissed his lips. She could feel his surprise but then he kissed her back and they melted in each other's arms.

The night was surprisingly peaceful after the violence of the day. In the quiet of the night, Kavya and Varun lay on the bed, naked, their clothes discarded on the floor. Kavya trembled slightly and pressed into Varun, his erection poking into her belly. They kissed, tasting each other's mouth. Varun fondled her breasts, rubbing her erect nipples with his fingers.

He went on to kiss her neck and then took her nipple into her mouth. Kavya moaned with pleasure. Her fingers curled around her son's impossibly hard cock, noting that he was both longer and thicker than her husband. She held it in her hand, feeling its hardness and squeezed it gently as it throbbed in her grip. Pre-cum oozed from the tip of his cock. Her pussy was already soaking wet. Pushing Varun down on the bed, Kavya straddled him. His cock touched her moist pussy lips. Her labia rested along the outer length of the under side of his cock. It twitched as her slick labial lips glided across its outer length.