Nothing as Sexy as a Man in a Skirt Pt. 02

"It was the high point of the Colonel's efforts. A brand new center, with a staff of counselors, therapy rooms, a fully equipped gym, it even had a daycare center. And all services were free. He cut the ribbon while Charlie and I played, then toured the building and attended a reception. The center was built on the banks of a river, and there was a really large deck built out over it. Most of the attendees ended up there, by the buffet tables."

"We were relaxed yet vigilant, and most of the crowd were veterans and college students, part of the new staff, all vetted, so we didn't see a problem. The Colonel had his wife, his youngest sister, and her six year old daughter, his favorite niece, along for the ceremony. His sister, following tradition, was married to the Danish version of a Duke, and was home for a visit."

"Angus noticed them first, three college students with large backpacks. We're still not sure how they got them in, but the best guess is they were already there, and they retrieved them when it was time. What made them stand out besides the backpacks were their hair color, they were all blonds with dark skin."

"Backpacks, three, on blonds." Angus had spoken quietly into his ear piece, and we noticed them instantly.

"I got the one in the middle," said Charlie, as he dropped his pipes. "Left," I said, targeting the largest. Angus didn't answer, just walked towards the one on the right. The kid saw him coming, screamed something in Arabic, and fumbled with his back pack. He was standing at the top of a set of stairs, and Angus tackled him, both tumbling down. We heard the boom as the deck rocked."

"I didn't hesitate, pulling my weapon and putting a round between the eyes of my target. He dropped like a rock, but not before his backpack opened and the bomb came into view. Following my training, I turned, pushing the Colonel, his wive, and her sister over the railing, thinking they would be safer in the water. I grabbed the child and held her to me as I jumped."

"I had barely cleared the railing when it detonated, and I felt a blow to my back. Luckily, the water was only four feet deep, and when I surfaced I saw the family huddled together. I held the child up and walked over, handing her to her mother and fumbling in my sporran. I pulled the back up weapon and gave it to him. "Here, Colonel. I think you might...."

"That was all I got out before I passed out. I went face first into the water, and they told me later my back looked like hamburger. The bomb was filled with small ball bearings. They pulled twenty seven out of me in hospital. That's what those scars you see on my back and legs come from."

"Angus died saving people, smothering the bomb with his body. Charlie hardly got a scratch. putting two rounds into his target, and throwing the backpack downriver. It was retrieved later, and the bomb squad was amazed it hadn't detonated."

"The bomb on the deck killed three and wounded six, but most had a few seconds of warning and got away. It could have been much worse."

I sighed, remembering. It had been a long time since I let myself think about it.

"Charlie came to see me four days later as I lay in my bed, and we congratulated each other for doing our job and surviving. He had sneaked a flask of brandy in, and we had a toast."

"To Angus," he said.

"To Angus," I repeated, "may he rest in peace."

Charlie told me the funeral was going to be tomorrow, and he wished I could be there to help him pipe Angus to his rest.

"What time is the funeral, and where?"

"At one, at the Colonel's Castle. Angus had no family, and the Colonel wants him buried in the family plot, saying we were as close to family as he ever had."

Charlie left, and an hour later monitors started going off as I unhooked myself from the machines.

I was looking for my clothes as people rushed in, demanding to know where I was going. "The Highlands," I replied as I pulled up my kilt, "I have a funeral to attend."

The doctors tried to talk me into lying back down, but I was having none of it. The had me backed into a corner, an IV stand in my hands, as they stood in front of me with syringes. Nobody was keen to rush me, because I told them the first two would need their own beds.

The Colonel had been called and he strode in. "Soldier! Stand down!"

Force of habit made me snap to attention. When he asked I told him what was going on. He looked me over, noticing the paleness. I probably was about two minutes from passing out, when he turned to the doctors.

"Have an ambulance and a competent nurse standing by. He will leave at seven, which should give him plenty of time. If he is not on my estate by 12:30, it will be very bad for this hospital. Very bad, understand?"

They must have, because I was up at 5:30, fed, helped to don the dress uniform of our unit, the only variant on it a small American flag, on the left shoulder. My service ribbons and hardware was attached to the Jacket.

I sat in a wheel chair until they carried Angus into the graveyard before I stood, my wounds weeping into my jacket, Charlie beside me, and we piped Angus home. We stood ramrod straight and never missed a note, even as tears streamed from both of us.

I dropped heavily into the chair as the last notes died. Instead of being taken back to hospital, I was settled into a guest suite in the South wing, with a doctor on call and a nurse beside me constantly. Many of our old mates came to see Charlie and I, including the ones from Iraq.

We toasted fallen comrades and raised our glasses to the ones who made it home, glad we were among them. I stayed for eight weeks before being declared fit.

"What happened then?"

"I was given a medical discharge along with a small pension, and sent home. Due to my wounds, I couldn't pass the annual physical, so I was out. The Colonel wanted me to stay, but it was time for me to go. I came home, returned to my job, and married Kim. I'm glad now it didn't work out, because I wouldn't have you if it had."

She had cried a little at my story, soothing me with her hands and lips. "I don't see how you couldn't pass a physical, honey. You're the fittest man I know."

"Oh, I'm fine, for a little while. But prolonged exertion is out of the question. After two or three hours, I would be useless."

She snuggled back down, about to tell her tale, when I interrupted. "One more thing, honey. The press were all over the story, and posted pictures of me flying over the railing, the child in my arms. She never got a scratch, by the way. There was quite an uproar for a couple of weeks before the press turned to something else. Two months after it happened, when I was finally healed, the Colonel ordered us into our dress uniforms and took us to London. We took a drive that ended up at Buckingham Palace. In a small room, Charlie received the St. George's Medal, and was Knighted by the Queen."

I knew I had her attention then, "What did you get, honey?"

"I got the highest medal the British can give to a foreigner, and I was also Knighted. It's just an honorarium, the title dies when I do, but when we marry, you'll be Lady Amanda McLough for the rest of your life."

She started to speak, but I held up a hand. "One more thing. The Duke was so impressed by my sacrifice in saving his daughter and wife he had me brought to Denmark, and in a public ceremony I was again given a Knighthood, I'm also Sir Ewan McLough of the Danish Court."

Mandy face had almost disappeared in her grin. "Wait until I tell me Mum."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't, until the ceremony. Let it be a surprise."

She promised me she would try very hard, but made no guarantees.

Oh, and the tattoo was the crest of the Scottish regiment I was embedded with, the initials around it were those of fallen comrades.

.................

Mandy sat for a minute, mulling over what I had told her, before sighing.

"I was born and raised in Africa. My father met Mum at a local ball held for visiting dignitaries, and sparks flew. They were together for ten years before they split up. Mom was tired of Africa, and wanted to move back to England, but Dad couldn't leave because of his business. He was one of the largest importer/exporters in the country, and couldn't just pack up and move away, unless he sold the business. He actually considered it, got several nice offers, but in the end he couldn't let go of the company he had built from scratch."

"I was nine when they split, and elected to stay with my father. Mother fought it, saying she wanted her daughter raised in a civilized country, which didn't earn her any points with the judge. She was a foreign national and Dad was a well respected local. The laws at the time made it impossible for her to win, so she had to settle for summers."

Dad was a good man, but had no idea how to handle a child, especially a girl. Oh, he loved me deeply, but his business kept him away for long hours, and I went through a succession of nannies before my grandfather showed up one day, wanting me to spend some time with him, to learn the ways of my people, the Masai."

"I ended up living in his village for two and a half years, learning the ways of my people. something about the village got to me, and I loved the life I was living. I was on my way to becoming a proper Masai women, my grandfather had already arranged a marriage for me, to a son of the chief of a neighboring village, when Mum came for me. There was almost a riot, but she had hired guards, and they brandished weapons as I was loaded, kicking and screaming, into a Range Rover, and spirited out of the country."

"Mum had a little money and connections of her own, and a British court deemed my former life unsuitable, and she was awarded full custody. There was bad blood between my Mum and Dad for years. He made three trips a year to see me, infuriated that it had to be under supervision. To this day her refuses to speak of her, and I have no idea what's going to happen at the wedding."

She stopped, sniffling a little. I held her tighter. "I do," I told her. "I talked to your father, and he has agreed that this will be your day alone, and he will not bring up ghosts of the past. When your mother arrives, I'll sit her down and explain as gently as I can that if she causes any friction at all, she'll be back on a plane to Cardiff within the hour. The Colonel has promised he would be there with me, to make it plain he will help. If she's as struck on royalty as you say she is, it might just do the trick."

"You'd really toss my mother out on her ear if she doesn't behave?"

"More like her ass, honey. I think she'll see the light. Now please, continue."

Amanda sat up and gave me a firm kiss, before starting again.

"I was, as you can imagine, a pretty rebellious kid. I got the tattoo at sixteen, for two reasons. The first was to remind me of my heritage, and the second was to piss my Mom off. It worked, and she sent me off to boarding school."

"Away from family distractions, I calmed down and applied myself to my studies, rising through sheer determination to make up for lost time. When I turned legal age, I applied and won a position at Duke Medical School, and here I am, about to live happily ever after. Not as exciting as your story, is it."

I grinned and kissed her again. "Maybe not as exciting as just different. And your Masai warrior is just going to deal with the fact that you love and are going to marry someone else. I hope whoever tells him lets him down easy. And if he wants to fight over you, I'm more than willing."

Although I didn't know it at the time, but truer words were never more spoken.

.............................

All our friends had shown up, having been flown over by the Colonel. Her mother was more than a little condescending at me until the Colonel told her what great friends we were, and that I had saved his life at least three times.

It was good to see my old mates, and when they went bar crawling without me, the Colonel and I had to bail them out and pay damages. Seems Charlie took offense over some redneck telling him what a nice dress he had on. It would be hard for him to tell anyone anything else until his jaw healed.

Finally, on a sunny early June day, the local Preysbeterian church was overflowing with well wishers. My boss sat in the front row, as well as the Colonel's wife and younger sister. Her second daughter was flower girl. her oldest, a teen now, sat beside her and smiled, remembering a cold muddy river a long time ago. Her husband, the Duke, sat on the other side.

Amanda's new stepmother sat in the front row, a Masai woman who worshiped her father, as he did her. She was much younger, and judging by her size, Amanda was going to have a younger sibling very soon. As a surprise, her grandfather was there, dressed in traditional robes, with two of his wives.

Her mother sat a couple rows back, with her new husband. They didn't look nearly as happy as her father and his new bride.

I was in my military kilt, complete with ribbons and medals. Charlie and the Colonel were co-best men. As we waited in front of the altar for her to appear, I whispered a quick promise to God, swearing absolute love and devotion to my soon to be wife. I had my eyes closed, and when I opened them, she had appeared, dressed in the traditional robes of a Masai woman, bracelets and earring gleaming, with an elaborate necklace covering her throat. It was so stunning it took my breath. Her father, also in traditional dress, escorted her down the aisle

Amy and Molly, her co-maids of honor, followed, also in Masai robes, hair woven into intricate braids. Robbie, Mike, and Dave were my groomsmen, and Amanda rounded out her court with friends she had gone to medical school with. I'm sure they talked about the wedding for years.

The ceremony was officiated by the local minister, along with his bishop, and part of it was in Latin, but we all got the gist. After I had kissed my new bride, the Colonel stepped forward, his booming voice filling the chapel.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my distinct honor to introduce for the first time Sir Ewan Mclough, and his wife the Lady Amanda McLough! May their union be blessed with happiness... and bonny wee ones!"

The Duke had risen, and with his wife translating, did the same thing. Her mother actually fainted, realizing her daughter had married a Knight of not one, but two realms.

We exited the church to find many of my old regiment, in full uniform, and a local piper's group formed up at the front steps, their swords raised high, forming a tunnel for us to walk through to the tune of the bagpipes, cheering as we passed.

The reception lasted far into the night, and was talked about for years. When randy Highlanders are mixed with tipsy Southern Belles, interesting things happen. We didn't witness much of it, because we had a plane to catch.

We had three weeks to honeymoon, two of them vacation and the third a gift from my boss.

Amanda had a lot more trouble getting the time. Dr. Krall was very vocal in his objections, but the Colonel once again stepped in, pulling strings, and there was nothing he could do. He fumed under his breath, vowing to make her life and his very difficult when they returned.

Amanda and I traveled on a private plane, along with her father, his new wife, her grandfather, and his wives, and after many long hours landed in Kenya. The Colonel and his wife were along, for business, seems he owned, through a co-op, a large sheep operation, the wool almost as highly prized as that of his Highland stock. He had a finger in a few more pies, and explained that while we may get together for dinner a time or two, most of his time would be spent dealing with his business interests.

............................................

We arrived at the beginning of the greenest season, and I couldn't believe the lush and vibrant colors. We spent most of the first week in Nairobi, with her father, as he squired us around to show us off to his friends and business contacts. They looked at Amanda with unabashed admiration, and me as if I were an alien, with my shining red hair and beard offset by my bright blue eyes.

After four days, Amanda's grandfather arrived, insisting we spend time with him and his tribe, many who remembered Amanda from her childhood. She seemed a little reluctant, while I was keen to go. "Women aren't very well respected, honey, their status is just above the animals in Masai society. Some men actually value their herds more."

I swept her up into a kiss as the old man and his wives watched. "I'd make a terrible Masai man, then, because you are more precious to me than every cow and sheep on earth."

Her eyes were moist as I let her down, grinning. "Now, if there were chickens involved, I may have to rethink the whole thing. You know how Southerners are when it comes to fried chicken."

She swatted my arm and engaged her father in conversation much to rapid to keep up with, even if I spoke the language. Finally, they all nodded.

"We will leave tomorrow morning. It is a long drive, so we need to pack plenty of water and snacks. I hope you like it, honey. Most foreigners never get this close to the actual workings of a Masai compound. OH, and it is an old tradition that the men can share their wives with their friends if they want. You won't mind, will you?"

She was laughing while she spoke, but settled down. "It isn't practiced often any more, it has mostly died out with my grandfather's generation, along with taking multiple wives. It's still legal, but economic factors have come into play, and most can't afford more than one. You've got a little money, my honey, maybe we can find a really nice looking girl around sixteen. In this economy we could probably get a deal."

She broke out laughing at the look on my face. "The only drawback to that plan is I would kick the little bitch's ass, then yours. Private property, agreed? Besides, could a little girl do this?"

We were lying bed while we talked, and with that statement she stopped talking and started doing other things, very pleasurable things, with her mouth. I decided to go the silent route myself, twisted her around and started returning the favor. We both found our voices after a while, right there at the end."

Sated, we snuggled up and she giggled. "Get some rest, husband, tomorrow we go back in time."

.................

As we approached the village, I started to believe my bride. It's one thing to watch shows on television, another entirely when you experience it first hand. As I said, the land was blooming, and the people, in their colorful robes, stood out against the landscape. I saw her grandfather really smile since the first time I met him, as yet two more wives greeted him. Amanda was immediately swarmed by a group of women roughly her age, childhood friends I'd guess. She had switched flawlessly back into the language, and I knew she was very happy. Blushing, she grabbed my hand and pulled me along, smiling, introducing me to her friends, who wouldn't look me in the eyes. A cultural thing, I guess.

It was a different vibe with the men, though. Most welcomed me, but a few were reserved, and a couple looked downright hostile. One of the men who could speak English explained.

"That is Laibon and his friend. They think we should reject modern times and go back to the old ways. Highly impractical. yes? We are too accustomed to the improvements your culture has brought us to ever go completely back to the old ways."

Then he grinned. "He not only doesn't like you because he views you as a foreign devil, you married the girl that was promised to him."

So then, this was the man her grandfather chose as her husband. Amanda's mother had killed those plans.

They were all attractive people, especially the young ones. One thing I noticed was there was very few obese people. Amanda said it was because they lived such active lifestyles. Most of the women were tall compared to Caucasian women, and though I was tall, most of the men had an inch or two on me.