Nothing But Knit

Josh clearly didn't mind as he smiled and told he was, too.

They talked for the better part of an hour, and by the time Stella came to see if Stephanie was all right, the latter felt unbelievably confident in her new role. She'd spent less than six hours total dressed as a woman, and yet it felt like the most natural thing she'd ever experienced. While the thought of actually becoming a woman still held no interest for her, she wondered for the first time what it would be like to live as one most, or even all, of the time.

"You okay, hun?" Stella asked.

"Yes. I'm fine. Wonderful, actually," she told her older friend.

"Yeah. I can see why," Stella said with a smile as she again sized up the handsome man in front of her.

"Listen. I don't want to monopolize your time, Stephanie, so I'll let you go. I just want to tell you I thoroughly enjoyed talking with you, and I'd very much like to see you again," Josh told her.

Stephanie was so stunned by his words that all she could do was stand there and stare.

Stella realized what was going on and gently nudged her beautiful creation.

"He's asking you out, sweetie. Tell the nice man 'yes'."

"Oh. He...he is?" Stephanie said, stuttering as she spoke.

"I am," Josh told her with a smile.

"I...I...okay. I...understand," Stephanie replied, still not answering his question.

"Stephanie. Sweetie. It's a 'yes' uh 'no' question," Stella said to her without taking her eyes off of Josh's very handsome face.

"Of course," Stephanie said, her heart pounding with excitement. "I...I would love to go out with you, Josh."

"Great! Is it okay if I get your number?" he asked as he got out his own phone.

Stephanie gave him hers, Josh thanked her again for an enjoyable first meeting, and promised to call her soon.

"Stella? It was a pleasure meeting you, too," Josh told her.

"Likewise," she said a little too coyly.

"Well, if you ladies will excuse me," Josh said without replying.

Once he was out of earshot, Stella asked Stephanie, "So? Are you excited or what?"

Stephanie was indeed excited. She was thrilled. She was also nervous, scared, and worried sick.

"Yes. I'm very excited. It's all just happening so fast, you know? The interview, getting hired, the party, meeting Josh."

"A first date," Stella teased. "With a very handsome guy."

"Yes. He is very handsome," Stephanie replied, aware of just how attracted she found Josh to be.

"I'd say I'm jealous, but he's too young fuh me, and well, as much as I hate to say it, he's way outta my league."

Stephanie almost said that wasn't true, but another new realization hit her. She was a very attractive woman while Stella wasn't. It wasn't a matter of ego or feeling self-centered. It was simply a matter of fact. She'd seen how she looked and also observed the way she'd been treated, and it was obvious she was accepted as a woman, but even more so, as one that was considered extremely attractive.

That thought caused her to think back on the way Steve had been treated since he was old enough to be aware of his looks. Not once had he ever been treated as though he was anything more than an average-looking guy. And being as thin as he was he certainly wasn't one to be taken as athletic let alone as some kind of jock.

So this experience was completely foreign to both him and to Stephanie, but both of them were beyond thrilled to know that she was seen in that way by so many other people. This new persona of theirs was opening up an entire new world to them, and for the second time, Stephanie briefly thought about what life would be like to say a kind of permanent farewell to her alter ego without doing so to the genitals she was born with.

"So you want to go do a little mo-uh mingling?" Stella asked.

"My feet are killing me," Stephanie told her. "And my legs. And my back. And..."

"Okay. I got it. I'll let the drive-uh know to meet us out front."

As they rode back, Stella told Stephanie how proud of her she was.

"You did really good tonight, sweetie. I gotta say I'm a little envious."

Deeply moved, Stephanie thanked her and told her how grateful she was for all of her help, support, and friendship.

"Dittoes on the friendship thing, hun. I had no idea how much I'd like you when we first met. I knew you'd be a goy-juss woman, I just didn't know I'd enjoy being yuh friend this much."

Stephanie experienced another first as feelings of love caused her to tear up.

"Thank you, Stella. You're...you're my new best friend."

"Ah! That is the nicest thing, ev-uh!" Stella told her as she gave her new BFF a hug.

As she pulled away, Stella smiled and said, "So...since we're best friends now...you gotta ask Josh if he's got an old-uh bruth-uh fuh me, okay?"

Stephanie laughed, and even the male sound of her laugh didn't bother her. She could work on that later. For now, she was reveling in being her new self, and wanting to take in every glorious moment of being a beautiful, feminine woman.

"I will, Stella. I promise," Stephanie told her before giving her another hug.

The letdown from changing back into drab was much worse this time than before. Stephanie had gained so much confidence so quickly that having to hide her again was as difficult as anything Steve had ever done. And as he headed home, he too, began wondering what it would be like to resign himself to oblivion in order for Stephanie to permanently take his place.

His thoughts were interrupted when he went inside the house only to find his father still up and waiting for him.

"Where the hell have you been?" his dad demanded as he pointed to a clock on the wall. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Dad, I'm 19," Steve replied.

"You live under my roof, Steven! And as long as you do, you're accountable to me. Now where the hell were you?"

Steve wanted to tell his father everything. But he knew that would mean a haranguing that could go on for hours and end up with him being told to get out. And while that seemed inevitable, he wasn't ready to do that just yet. So he told a lie in order to make it all go away. At least temporarily.

"I uh, I was out on a date."

"Whoa! You had a date?" his father said, his attitude suddenly changing. "So...who is this girl? Is she anyone I know?"

"Her name is Stella."

"Wait. Stella? As in...STELLA?" his dad said, imitating Marlon Brando the best he could from A Streetcar Named Desire.

"Yes. Stella," Steve replied.

"Well, well, well. My boy had a date. With a girl. Huh. Who'd a thunk?" his dad said as he slapped his son on the back. "Nice work, Steve my boy. I gotta admit, I been worried about you. But a date. With a girl. Very nice!"

"I'm tired, Dad. I'm gonna go upstairs and get some sleep."

"Yeah. You do that," his father said as though he was almost proud of his son for the first time ever.

As tired as he was, Steve was unable to sleep. He lay there for over an hour reliving the night over and over again from the moment Stella began doing his makeup until saying goodbye to her. But most of his mental energy was focused on the time Stephanie had spent with Josh.

So as he lay there, recalling every moment with this attractive man, Steve saw himself as Stephanie, and as things grew in an old, familiar way, his hand moved to reduce the swelling. He wanted to make it last for hours, but it lasted less than five minutes as he imagined Stephanie in Josh's arms. And as their lips met for the first time, a geyser of epic proportions erupted in a warm, sticky mess that shot wildly all over his chest and even over his head.

Steve dreamily grabbed some Kleenex to wipe up the gooey jizz then happily drifted off to sleep, hoping to dream of his future life as Stephanie Moran.

When he awoke, Steve had no idea what time it was, but the sun was up and shining brightly into his second-story room. He got up, peed, brushed his teeth, and went downstairs expecting to get another lecture from his dad about 'laying in bed all day'.

But his father had gone to work, something that was unusual but not unheard of on a Saturday. Left on his own, Steve made himself a cup of coffee then sat down and checked his phone.

When he saw there was a text from Josh, his heart skipped a beat. When he opened it, he became acutely aware that he wasn't Stephanie, and that realization made the words he read very...uncomfortable.

"Hi, beautiful! I know I said I'd call, but who actually calls anymore, right? I thought about it, but I decided to text you because it's what people our age do. Okay, I can't stop thinking about you, but that's another story."

Josh went on for some time about how much he'd enjoyed meeting Stephanie, and as Steve sat there in his sweatpants and a tee-shirt, there was nothing more he wanted than to be sitting there wearing a silky nightie and a pretty robe. The disappointment he felt was palpable, and only served to reinforce the growing thought that living life as Steve was somehow...unacceptable.

Not feeling feminine in the least, Steve found himself unable to reply. He was still too new to this dichotomy of feelings to understand what was going on, but he did know he couldn't wait to be Stephanie again, and to go on a first-ever date with a man; a very handsome man, at that.

And that's when he remembered having brought home a bra and panty set from his first meeting with Stella and then Barry. With his father gone, Steve ran upstairs, pulled out the feminine underwear from the back of a dresser drawer and slowly put them on before brushing out his hair.

As he did, he felt the power of some kind of 'transformational force' take over, and as he sat back down, Steve was gone, and his place sat Stephanie who couldn't wait to respond to Josh.

"Hi, Josh!" she began before replying in kind to his very sweet text.

"I can wait to see you again, either!" she wrote at the end.

But before sending it, she smiled then typed, "Love...Stephanie."

As she hit 'send', Stephanie felt an overwhelming need to take action. She had no idea what to do, but she had the sense that Stella would know. So without waiting another minute, she dialed her number and waited.

Stella listened to her new friend explain her situation in her father's house and responded immediately by offering Stephanie a room in her home.

"Oh, honey! You need to get outta they-uh right now! Come ov-uh, and we'll fig-yuh all of this out, tuh-geth-uh, okay? You get packed, and I'll be there in 30 minutes. And don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise."

Not sure if he'd have the nerve to face his father, Steve penned a short note and left it on the kitchen table before packing everything he owned. After 19 years in the same house, 'everything' fit in two suitcases plus a backpack and one small tote bag.

As he left the house for what would likely be the last time, Steve realized he wasn't closing a door. He was rather opening a new one; one is which Steve would metaphorically die so that Stephanie could live. And although he knew he should be sad, no tears fell. There was only silent resignation that his father would never be able to accept his son for who he was, and that he could no longer live a lie.

So as he walked away, Steve Moran said goodbye to his father, his former life, and resolved to become the person he was certain he wanted to be: Stephanie Lynn Moran.

"The room is small, and I apologize," Stella told the thin boy standing in front of her.

"Can I...will you..."

"Do you want me to trans-fo-um you?" Stella asked, a knowing smile on her face.

"Yes. But I want to get a full body wax first. I've never done that before. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. I could use one myself," Stella replied. "I'll call the salon and make an appointment fuh, two, okay, hun?"

By the time they returned home, their skin was as soft as could be and free of any trace of body hair, and Stephanie had a reply from Josh.

"Is tonight too soon to take you out to dinner?" he asked.

After checking with Stella, who assured her she'd go pick a few things from the store for Stephanie to wear, she excitedly texted him back.

"No! Not at all. And Josh? I can't wait to see you, either! Love, Stephanie."

She received an immediate reply that read, "Wonderful! I'll pick you up at 7:30 for dinner at 8 o'clock. Josh."

She tried not to be disappointed that he didn't sign off with 'love', but having been male all of her life, Stephanie knew that word meant different things for boys and girls. So knowing she had a date—her very first date—she was more than satisfying for now.

It was no surprise that Stella returned with well, nothing but knit tops. She also grabbed a very cute skirt and a pair of black heels. For the time being, Stephanie could borrow her jewelry and other accessories until she had a collection of her own things.

By 7pm, Stephanie was wearing a beautiful, long-sleeved sweater that was a deep yellow in color. Stella had grabbed a short, black, leather skirt that looked amazing with the top, and after adding a gold and black necklace with matching earrings, Stephanie was once again blown away with the image looking back at her in the full-length mirror.

"You know you're gonna have to learn to do yuh own hair and makeup yuh-self, right?" Stella reminded her as they both admired how amazing Stephanie looked.

"Yes, and I can't wait for you to teach me. I've tried to pay attention, but there's just so much to remember."

"No problem, hun!" Stella agreed. "You have to get the whole thing down to muscle memory so it's like second nay-chuh. Knowing how to put it on and what to use is only half the battle. If you can't apply it correctly, well—hello Frankenstein, right?"

Stephanie laughed a happy laugh then hugged her friend and thanked her once again.

"Oh, you ah so welcome, sweetie!" Stella told her. "And in return, you gotta give me details af-tuh. ALL of the details, okay?"

Stephanie had already decided that were Josh to ask, she would say 'yes' to going back to his place. And she was already just as certain she would say 'yes' to anything else he might ask.

Just before Josh arrived, Stephanie panicked.

"What? What is it?" Stella asked, sensing her new BFF's concern.

"My voice. I...I can't talk in public. What am I going to do?"

Stella smiled then said, "Relax, sweetie. You don't need to say much of anything to anyone but Josh. Just tell him yuh concern and he'll ore-duh fuh you and handle all the 'heavy lifting', okay?"

As with so many other things, Stephanie wondered why she hadn't realized that herself. And yet, that was only a solution for this one night out. Granted, it was the most important night out of her life so far, but she would need to address this issue as soon as possible.

Stella was already scrolling through her phone looking for the right person, and when she found her, she handed the phone to Stephanie.

"A voice coach?" Stephanie asked.

"Well, yeah. You need someone who's helped trans people with this kind of issue. And this woman has. I say you give her a jingle on Monday and go from they-uh."

"What would I do without you?" Stephanie asked rhetorically just as the doorbell rang.

"Let me get that, hun. You just wait he-uh so yuh new boyfriend can get a load of...this."

Stella used her hands to 'explain' how beautiful Stephanie looked. And with her own long hair being soft and silky with a gentle wave in it, she did look beautiful in the outfit she was wearing.

But it wasn't until Josh saw her and stopped cold that she knew it was true.

"Oh...my...God," he said when he saw her. "You...look...amazing!"

"Thank you," Stephanie said as sweetly as she could. "You look quite handsome yourself."

"You two have fun, okay?" Stella told them as she shooed them both out a couple of minutes later after exchanging pleasantries.

Stephanie not only had fun, she realized that this really was the life she was meant to live. Nothing had ever felt so right in all her life as it did that night, and it was far better than anything she'd ever dreamed or imagined. She'd had almost no experience in the female role, and yet it seemed to just come almost naturally to her no matter the situation.

She waited for Josh to open her door or to help her get seated, and smiling was now a pleasure. It would take time to learn to sit comfortably with her legs crossed for long periods of time, but that was just one more thing she couldn't wait to master.

The table for two was in an isolated area, and Stephanie was able to talk quietly in her best female voice while, just as Stella had said, Josh took care of everything else.

"Josh? Thank you for asking me out," Stephanie told him at one point after they'd talked and gotten better acquainted.

"Thank you for saying 'yes',' he told her.

"So...have you ever, you know, dated...a girl like me before?" Stephanie asked.

"No. I...I have to admit I've thought about it many times, but no, I've never actually done it."

Josh hesitated then said, "I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but the few...girls like you...I've ever seen...well, they...they don't look anything like you."

"Thank you," Stephanie replied. "I owe so much of this to Stella."

"A lot of this is just you having some really great features, but yes, she's pretty wonderful, huh?" Josh agreed.

Stephanie smiled then mentioned Stella's request.

"Actually, I do have a brother who's five years older than me. I'm 25, by the way."

"Oh," was Stephanie's one-word reply.

"Is that a problem?" Josh asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Oh. No. I...I just thought. I mean...I'm...I'm 19."

Josh sat there and looked at her for several seconds then said, "You look older."

He quickly added, "In the best way possible."

"Thank you?" Stephanie asked more than said in reply.

Josh chuckled then took her hand and said, "I am completely smitten with you, Stephanie."

"Really?" she asked, having no idea what else to say.

"Yes. Really."

"I...really like you, too, Josh," she said very shyly.

"I'm glad. I want to get to know you a whole better, Stephanie," he told her sincerely.

"I'd like that," she replied just as sincerely as her heart began to race.

"Would you like to maybe...you know...go back to my place? For a drink?"

"Yes. Very much so. Yes," Stephanie told him without hesitation.

"Really?" Josh asked just as she had moments ago.

"Yes. Really."

Josh asked for the check, helped his date stand up, then offered her his arm as he led her outside.

When they got to his car he opened her door, and as he reached around Stephanie then stood back up, their eyes met. She looked at him then looked away then looked back at him again.

"Would it...be okay if I...kissed you?" Josh asked quietly as he took her hands in his.

Stephanie's mouth went dry, and she couldn't speak. She only smiled then nodded and waited for Josh to lean her way. When their lips met, Stephanie felt even more certain she'd made the right decision. Kissing Josh felt just as right as it had becoming Stephanie. It didn't matter that her 'plumbing' matched his. She didn't care that her 'C'-cup 'boobs' were silicon breast forms. All that mattered was being with this amazing man she wanted to be be with so badly it hurt.

"Wow," Josh said as their lips slowly parted.

"Yes. Wow," Stephanie quietly agree as Josh helped her get in before closing the door.

They held hands on the way to his very upscale apartment, but neither of them spoke. The sexual tension between them was so thick it could be cut with the proverbial knife and continued to grow as the rode along in silence.

As she sat there, Stephanie thought about all the reasons people slept together, and while many of them were for nothing but purely physical reasons, she didn't care why Josh wanted to be with her. She also didn't care whether or not he loved her as love was something for which there would be time later on. For now, all that mattered was being able to enjoy and even savor another new, wonderful experience in the life she'd chosen for herself.