Nothing Else To Do Ch. 01

***Hey all, thanks for checking out my new story. I was really reluctant to write any pandemic stories, but this is based on a vaguely semi-true story and I just had to write it. I think there will be three chapters, it's just a short, light, slice of life sexy fun-times story.

Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy.

-Penny***

"Yo, you wanna keep watching?" AJ asked from the ratty old couch that used to be beige in another life, but was now a splotchy patchwork of colors.

Ian looked up from his phone. "Not really," he admitted. "I mean, I wanted to like it, but the show just got stupid in the middle. I hate that shit."

AJ shrugged. "I dunno. I thought it was okay. I mean, I didn't really hate it. It's not like we have anything else to do."

Ian sniffed. "Of course we do, there's a million things to do."

"Name something we can do right now," AJ challenged.

"We could order a pizza."

"Not hungry, and we already had pizza today," AJ dismissed.

"We could watch a different show, or movie. And when we finish Netflix we can hit up Hulu or HBO or something. We could drive to Taco Bell. We could go for a walk at..." he looked down at his phone, "One AM, I guess. We could prank call the cops. We could-"

"Fine, you ass. I get it, I get it. But, we probably shouldn't be going out."

Ian shrugged. "It's quarantine, not house arrest. We can go for a walk or some shit. We can go to Taco Bell."

"Do you think Taco Bell is open this late, you know, cause'a the pandemic?" AJ asked, then dismissed the thought immediately. "Nevermind, I honestly don't wanna go there. It gives you terrible farts. Downright toxic gas."

Ian looked around and found a well-worn couch pillow and threw it at him. "Fuck you!"

The pillow hit him in the elbow as he almost dodged it. "Fuck yourself," AJ retorted, throwing the pillow back. Ian caught it, years of highschool baseball training making it instinctual.

"I would if I could." Ian snorted, then tossed his head and pushed his light brown hair, shaggier than normal, away from his eyes. He had the kind of silky smooth hair that girls used to like running their hair through back when they were in high school. The kind of hair that was wasted on guys. "Oh, that's something else we can do, for your list."

"Huh? What, fuck ourselves?" AJ was still thinking about girls running their fingers through Ian's hair in study hall back then. Was it really that silky? Thinking about girls flirting with Ian made his dick twitch.

"Yeah, fuck ourselves," Ian snarked, rolling his eyes. "Ass. I meant we could jerk off."

"What? Fuck off, dude, I'm obviously not gonna do that, like, right now," AJ dismissed, blushing furiously. He instantly felt stupid for saying it. "But, shit. I won't deny how fucking horny I am lately. Why'd Sarah have to cheat on me?"

"Cause your dick's small?" Ian quipped.

"It is not!"

"Come on, I've seen you naked."

AJ pursed his lips. "Why you looking?"

"I didn't! Sarah told me."

"First of all, fuck you, dude. I'm a grower, not a shower. Second of all, she never talked to you, she didn't like you, like, at all. And wait, you just said you saw it!"

Ian shrugged. "I did, you're not exactly shy."

"Oh. Ah, um. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't, I mean, if it made you uncomfortable-"

"Shut up, AJ. I was teasing. I like it that you're super comfortable around me. I mean, it feels like, I mean, you're my best friend."

"I wasn't, before. Like, before we lived together. We didn't even talk."

Ian shrugged. "So what. You are now. I think that Neil flaking out on me in the first month here was a blessing in disguise or some shit. Living with Neil would've ended me in jail for fucking sure, cause I sure as shit almost killed him when he 'moved in with his girlfriend'. Twat. Anyway, if he hadn't been a twat I wouldn't have gotten to know you like I do."

"It's weird to me, that we went to the same high school but never talked, and now we're roomies," AJ noted, still feeling a little down that he might not be good enough to live with Ian, much less be his best friend.

Ian shrugged again, rolling his eyes. "I dunno. I mean, I wish I knew you then, but maybe not getting to know you until now was for the best. Anyway, we aren't talking about that, we were talking about how horny you are."

"Oh, yeah. Sarah." He frowned, then exhaled hard. "I mean, I'm mostly over it, but it still sucked. Oh, and she never complained about my size, for your information. Just, you know, so you know."

Ian snorted a laugh. "Sarah? I don't trust a thing she says. And, damn you have bad taste in women. I knew she was no good first time I met her. I mean, who doesn't like me? What's not to like?"

He looked away, embarrassed and feeling a bit shitty. "I know. I should've seen the signs. I mean, she didn't even apologize, and, she broke up with me right after I bought her that stupid Apple watch."

"I told you not to. I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger but..."

He sighed. "I know. Sorry. I know you did." He fiddled with the remote. "I'm so stupid. I could really use that money right now, too. It sucks, not having any money. I mean, I'm looking for a job, but-"

"Hey, you're not stupid, you're loyal. I really like that about you, like, you'd probably still help her now if she was in trouble. I mean, I wouldn't let you, because no one takes advantage of my bestie on my watch, but still, I know you would. That's just the kinda dude you are. Not enough good people left in the world, AJ."

He studied the remote now, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "I'm not that good."

"Fuck that noise to hell and back, AJ. And, the money? Seriously, don't stress about it. I'm still working, it's fine. You can hit me back when you get another job. It's seriously not a big deal at all. We gotta take care of each other."

"I hate freeloading like this."

Ian snorted, then moved over to his couch. He sat down, then leaned his back against AJ's side, still attached to his phone. "Not freeloading when you do most of the work around here. I mean, I really appreciate not having to cook or shit like that. And also, no one else would live with my shit like you do. I already toldja, I don't wanna live with anyone else. I really like living with you."

AJ nodded. "Yeah, me too. I mean, living with you. I'm glad Neil didn't work out, it was perfect timing, like it was supposed to happen or some shit. Or, just, like, yeah." He fiddled with the remote, feeling nervous for no good reason. "Sorry."

"No reason to be sorry." Ian relaxed more into his side and weight felt good, like it grounded him. A few moments passed as he scrolled through Netflix titles until he finally landed on something that looked mildly interesting.

It wasn't. Fifteen minutes later he sighed and turned the TV off. "Everything's shit. Fuck this year."

"Eh, it's not that bad," Ian said, not looking up from his phone.

"No?"

Ian shrugged. "I mean, at least we're stuck together. Could be worse."

"Yeah, that's true. Still, fuck it."

Ian snorted. "Yeah, fuck it. I'm gonna go read in bed. Wanna come with?"

AJ shrugged. "Sure. Can I read your horror comics?"

"You sure you wanna read those before bed?" Ian chuckled.

"Shut it," AJ barked, jumping up from the couch. Ian fell backwards on the couch.

"Don't blame me if you need to sleep in my bed tonight cause you're too scared to go to your own," Ian said with a snort. He nimbly jumped to his feet and bumped AJ out of his way as he raced to his room.

Ian's door slammed in his face. "What the fuck, Ian?" he snapped, stepping back quickly. He wasn't nearly as nimble as Ian and almost fell on his ass. There was a big difference between band kids and sports kids.

"I'm getting changed, nard," Ian barked.

AJ opened the door to find Ian's bare ass facing him. It was pale and smooth, and for a split second he wanted to see if it felt as smooth as it looked. His dick twitched again and he pushed away the thought. He really needed to get laid. "Oh, look, a full moon," he quipped, then headed straight for Ian's messy bookshelf, targeting one of the horror manga he hadn't read yet so he didn't look at Ian's ass again.

"I warned you," Ian said, not even trying to hide that he was naked from the waist down.

AJ turned around to issue a retort and stopped before he started. Ian was now fully naked, and facing him, too. "I, ah, um," he stuttered, twirling around again to hide the blush on his face. "How are you so casual about being naked?" He'd seen it in pieces, but never all in once chunk before. Ian's body could've been a sculpture, it was that perfect. He flushed, feeling embarrassed and jealous at the same time.

Ian chuckled. "I was in sports. Like, naked dudes all day long."

"That cannot be even remotely true," AJ corrected.

He could hear the rustling of clothing and was instantly relieved that Ian was covering his larger than average member. Definitely bigger than him. He wondered briefly what Ian might look like erect.

Ian snorted. "Fine, you're right, but you get comfortable about being naked, or you get made fun of for being uncomfortable. Hard for people to get on your case when you don't care."

AJ's mind caught on the word hard. He swallowed it down, grabbed the book off the shelf, then threw himself into what had become his side of Ian's king-sized bed. "I wish I had your confidence." He hid his face in the book, afraid of how much he wanted to look up and see Ian's beautiful body.

"You're too down on yourself, dude." Ian jumped into bed and slipped under his sheet, now wearing a whte tank top. He didn't see what kind of bottoms he was wearing. "Anyway. Whatever."

Ian began scrolling on his phone again, so AJ started to read, but Ian's proximity was distracting tonight. What the fuck was wrong with him? He should go to bed, should put some space between him and Ian and this newfound horniness making him weird.

"What's AJ stand for?" Ian asked before he could get up.

"Huh?"

"AJ, is that your full name, or is it initials?"

"Oh. Yeah, it's initials. I mean, usually I just say that it's my name cause it's embarrassing. My name, that is."

Ian looked over at him. "Embarrassing? Like Asshole Jones embarrassing? Anal Jammer?"

AJ bumped him with his shoulder, which sent a tremor straight to his belly. "Fuck you. Not like that, but, I mean, just embarrassing."

"Tell me, Anal Jammer! You know you wanna." Ian nudged him back, and at the end of it their shoulders were still touching. He didn't do anything to change it, and neither did Ian, though Ian did go back to scrolling.

"You gotta promise not to laugh," he warned.

Ian laughed. "Like, when you say that it makes it impossible not to laugh."

"Fine, I won't tell you."

"No, please! I need to know your parents didn't name you Asshole Jones Bryan." Ian nudged his shoulder again.

"You're a dick, you know that?" Ian just laughed. AJ sighed. "Fine. AJ stand for Andrew Jackson."

A brief second passed before Ian turned to him. "They didn't! Your parents are devious! Did they not like you when you were born? Three first names, and also a president name, too. Damn, boy." Ian laughed. "When did you start going by AJ?"

He turned away, not really wanting to get into it, but it was that time of night that made it so much easier to tell all of your deep dark secrets. "You're gonna laugh."

"I'm already laughing, it can't get worse, right?" Ian nudged him again, and he really wished he'd stop doing that. Ian had no idea how it was making him feel, and how uncomfortable he was feeling. This wasn't new, the closeness they shared, the casual touches and shit, but for some reason, tonight they were very attention grabbing.

"Freshman year. We had to do a project in a group about early American government. Mr. Henderson, the government teacher, thought it would be funny to assign the group with Andrew Jackson's duel to the group with the kid named Andrew Jackson, and then make a big deal about it. And, if that wasn't bad enough, I mean, then, ah. Nevermind."

Ian turned towards him. It removed the contact of their shoulders, but it put Ian's full attention on him, which wasn't any better. "No, there's something juicy there, keep going."

"No, wait. What's your middle name? It's only fair."

"I have the same middle name as your first name," Ian admitted, half a smile on his lips. "Now spill what was worse than that."

"Your middle name is Andrew?"

"Yup."

"Like, your initials also spell out your name?"

Ian blushed, but hid it quickly. "Yeah, well, my parents were devious, too. Musta known they weren't gonna like me the first time they saw my face. Also, they thought I was gonna be a girl until I was born, so technically they'd already named me Isabel Diana."

"Oh, that's adorable, little Isabel," AJ teased.

Ian punched him hard in the shoulder. "Shut it, Mr. President. You were telling me about what's worse than your high school years being plagued with a presidential name."

AJ sighed. "Yeah. So, um, god, it's embarrassing. I don't wanna tell you."

"I'll tell you something embarrassing next, scouts honor."

"You were never a scout," AJ countered.

"Doesn't mean I don't have honor," Ian countered. "Spill your guts, Mr. President."

"Please don't call me that," he asked, already stressed out about the story he was getting ready to tell.

"I'm just teasin," Ian replied.

He sighed again. "So, ah. Yeah. Same group, we're working on this project. Somehow there's only one girl in our group, and she got suspended like fifteen minutes into our first work group for getting into a fight. She pulled the other girl's hair out by the roots. Like, a whole fist-full. It was crazy.

"Anyway..." He just needed to get it over with. He took a deep breath, then rushed through it as fast as he could. "Yeah, well, we were a bunch of, like, fourteen year old kids and we were talking about stupid shit. Like sex and shit, but we were fourteen, so, you know, we'd just had sex ed and, like, ah." He sighed. "This one kid was bragging about having sex and I called him out on being full of shit. Shots were fired, and, ah, well, I bragged that I'd been masturbating for a while by then."

"So?"

"Yeah, right? So. They all made fun of me. Every single one of them. There's no way that they weren't doing it, too, but they all thought it was fucking funny that I did it. Hank Dillenger announced it to the whole fucking class, right in the middle of the fucking period."

"Hank Dillenger? Dude's a douche, and he got Heather Price in the family way our Junior year."

"What? He knocked up Heather Price? I didn't know that. No fucking way," he said, surprised he hadn't known. He barely remembered Heather Price, and that was probably why.

"What a douche, seriously. I was jacking it steady by fourteen. What a fucking hypocrite."

"The worst part was that, like, literally by the end of the unit all of them were bragging about masturbating, but I was still the dude who was a loser. For doing it first or something." He still felt embarrassed all these years later. Fuck high school.

"Like, who doesn't like masturbating? I do it like every single day."

"Every day?" he asked, unsure why.

Ian punched him again. He rubbed the spot, it was growing sore. "Yeah, every day. Don't you?"

"I, ah. I have a thing. Like, um..."

Ian might have sensed his embarrassment, he straightened up and returned his attention to his phone. AJ was only mildly disappointed by the small space that separated their arms this time. "A thing? Cause'a fucking Hank and his stupid anal fistula friends?"

"They were all my friends at the time. I was, like, we were all friends. After that I didn't, I was kinda a loner until I was adopted by James and Mallory."

Ian snorted. "You lovable band nerds. You know, it's super crazy that those two are married and have kids now. Like, high school sweethearts. It's adorable. I mean, that's how we met, so I'm glad they adopted you."

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"But, a thing?"

"Weren't you telling me an embarrassing story to even it out?"

Ian looked up, then back down to his phone. "Fine, but only if you promise to tell me your thing afterwards."

"I will make no such promise," he replied, ready to have the topic changed.

"Fine," Ian grumped. "So, we were on the way to a big tournament, like a two hour bus drive. We had this big breakfast just before, It was this fateful bus ride that I learned I was suddenly lactose intolerant."

"Is that a thing? Like, suddenly becoming lactose intolerant?"

"Apparently," Ian confirmed. "I had this huge breakfast, buttermilk pancakes with fresh whipped cream, a double cheese omelet, and a big old glass of chocolate milk." He sighed. "About forty minutes into that fateful trip my stomach started to cramp, and by the time the bus was pulling into the parking lot I was nearly ready to shit myself.

"I did, actually, just a little bit, as I was running full tilt to the nearest bathroom."

"You shit yourself?" AJ asked, embarrassed for his friend. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Ian shrugged. "You ever try running as hard as you can while also holding in liquid diarrhea? I wanna see you not leak a little out. But, yeah, a little bit. Assistant coach knew I was hurting, so he covered for me and no one was the wiser, but damn, it was fucking humiliating. And, my stomach hurt all night, couldn't even play, not that I wanted to risk it, shitting myself while sliding into second base..." Ian shivered at the thought.

"Yeah, wow. That's terrible."

Ian nodded sagely. "Thank god for Lactaid, cause there's no way I'm giving up pizza. I'd rather shit myself."

They both laughed and comfortable silence fell between them as Ian scrolled. He read a few pages before he spoke again. "So, I, ah. I don't, um, when you're here, like, when you're home."

"Don't what?" Ian asked. He didn't answer, it was too humiliating. "Masturbate? You don't fucking masturbate if I'm home?"

He shook his head. "I can't. Like, I don't wanna, like, I don't want you to, um, like, ah..."

Ian nudged him again, then scooted closer. "Fuck, dude. I had no idea. I haven't left the house since grocery shopping last weekend."

"I didn't then, either. Cause, um, I didn't know when you'd be home."

"I do it every day," Ian reiterated. "Sometimes more."

"I know," he whispered, his throat tight. "Sorry. Sometimes I can hear you through the wall."

"Sorry?" Ian asked. "Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was torturing you! What do you do when you get a boner?"

"Think about other things, or ignore it."

"God, your balls must be so blue. You don't have to not masturbate cause'a me, for reals. Go, you can go bust one out right now. I'll put on headphones and watch something on my phone if you're worried I'd hear you."

He shook his head. "I can't," he said. He was picking the skin around his fingernails, a nervous habit, and he wasn't sure when he'd started, but the skin was stinging and he'd be bleeding soon if he didn't stop. "You're here. Doesn't matter if you can hear it or not."

"Like, you can't get it up?"

He shook his head. "I get hard all the time, that's not it."

"What about with your girlfriends?" Ian's phone went dark and AJ was afraid to look up, afraid to meet Ian's eyes. "I know you're not a virgin. I've heard you fuck."

AJ's whole head felt hot. "Sorry."

Ian snorted. "You fuck like a champion race horse, from what it sounds like. I'm just saying, I know you can, like, do stuff."

The heat from his head was travelling down his body. "I so do not."

"Oh, AJ, harder, oh, oh, oh, OH!" Ian cried out in a falsetto. "Fuck me, AJ!"

He pushed back against Ian's shoulder. "Shut up, dude."

"Oh, god, AJ, so good, ooooooohhhh! I'm cumming!"