All Comments on 'Now Mother's Gone Pt. 01'

Finally on Literotica ! Welcome Jerk !

this guy couldn't decide what 'person' to write this story in...good thing the father was a writer because this guy isn't. couldn't even get through the first page without boredom.

2nd person is about as good as present tense. It takes a talented writer to make it worth reading.

Apparently you're not one of those. I might have made it through half of a page before I had to stop.

Hehe a fan from further lands are you? Thank you kindly for the welcome. Been trying to get this one published on here for a while actually, but kept running foul of the moderation somehow.

Great story! Please continue with it

Haha! Finally some of the impotent vitriol I was promised from literotica! And there was I thinking: actually it's all been rather warm and supportive 😆 Fortunately I am both a masochist and entirely confident in my own writing talents... Feed me more. Tell me how naughty my inconsistent tenses are. 😜

If you’re going to take the sound advice that “2nd person is terrible” as “impotent vitriol” your writing is never going to get better. If you keep telling me (the reader) that I did things (like embarras my daughter with potty training stories) that I could never have done (because I don’t have a story) it makes it very difficult for me to enjoy the story.

I'm not a grammar Natzi, that being said I found the story very interesting and well written.

If this was your first time on Lit. welcome and hope to read more stories from you.

A solid 5 stars.

@maxx308:

Grammar Natzi [sic] is only used by people who are clueless about grammar and its importance in communication.

Your apparently one of those. Hmm, we need a term for those. Grammar moron works. Or, to make it easy, we could just call them idiots.

Good job, jerk. (I did enjoy calling you that.)

You managed a mediocre rating, lightly higher than expected, but still mediocre.

I anticipate more of the same from such a person, confident in their mediocrity.

Declaring an entire frame of story telling as 'terrible' is not sound advice my lovely, it is personal taste extrapolated poorly. Second person is a method of drawing the reader in to the head of a character, some find it jarring, some do not. That does not invalidate it as an option. As for 'getting better' I wrote the opening to this story years ago. It has been continuously updated on the site it was posted since then. I have not gone back and re-edited too much because it is good to see how my writing HAS improved since then. Which is why reviews melting down to: 'It's crap. I didn't read it.' Make me chuckle. You are receiving smut for free, if it is not to your taste... move on. 😆

2nd person is not to my taste, but you should probably ignore cageysea as a troll. There's no substance to their three replies just anger. You could replace their responses with "story bad" and lose no information. The story has a 4.5 rating at the moment so many clearly enjoy it.

We are getting smut for free, but submitters like you made it difficult to find the writers that are worth the money we pay because you fill up the site with garbage.

@cageysea Who hurt you, my darling, that you are so foul of temperament and full of insecurities? It worries me that you feel such a need to attack and attack. I do hope you come back to enjoy some more of my mediocrity though... perhaps if you make it past half a page you might have something constructive to offer the world 😘

I enjoyed the story. The 2nd-person perspective was a bold choice. I don't think I could make it work, but I like how it comes across like it's my conscience replaying all my sins.

I liked the story. Good buildup, not rushed. I liked the slender body of the daughter. Second person not my favorite but was able to get used to it. 5 stars

What a great story, I usually find myself skimming a lot of the erotica I read. But not this one I read every word and can't wait to read the next one. Bravo.

I'm lost, is cageysea paying or is it free ? 🤔

I had one big problem with this story, and that was perpetual fathers self-loathing and thoughts like this is like the worst thing happened to him. This stance is honestly improbable. If he had such trouble with it he would certainly stop with everything very soon.

Quirky comes to mind, but I gave it a rare 5 for the writing.

Great story telling, great erotica written with restraint and sensitivity; bravo.

Fantastic. Great plot and advancement.

Many a mans fantasy come true

Lucky father and daughter they found each other and they were happily in love it is great the story is great and nobody got deep degraded into garbage that is fantastic you are fantastic writer thank you