by Unsung Muse
I said it before and I'll say it again--a truly literate piece of Literotica. Great job, Muse; you won't stay Unsung for long
My prediction: "Unsung" will soon be an inappropriate aspect of your moniker. Your prose is almost poetry and your symbolism takes my breath away. I can think of no other writer *anywhere* that can get so much out of so few words. I'm jealous. Thank you for sharing your brilliance with us.
I absolutely loved the way you described the setting and the internal dialouges.
Great piece!
Muse, this is exquisite. I'd love to know what your day job is. I like this one more than some of your other work (which I still love) because it seems more whole, more focused, and more intense. The imagery is very powerful - I have a clear vision of these people, and especially their faces and expressions.
Muse, there are professionals out there with less talent. I am humbled once again.
What rich evocative language!
And what a bitter story. I could feel the anguish of both characters. I also grew quite angry at the foolish behaviour of each.
An excellent, although sad, piece of work.
Well done.
Thank you for sharing your gift of writing. What a beautiful story, and so beautifully written. I look forward to reading your other work.
Such a deep set of emotions running through this story.
It takes you there and makes you want to interfere with these two lives. A great story makes you want to be a participant in it. If that was your goal, Mission Accomplished. If not, great story anyways!
Very disciplined story-crafting to keep the tensions of the story intact.
This is a sublime piece of work. I am stunned and awed and am sitting here with a lump in my throat and a wide open ache for these two beautifully drawn characters. Muse, you need to publish, like, now. Quit wasting your time here.
Honestly, that's the best advice/compliment/nudge I could possibly give you.
But, wow. Again.
And MORE! (I mean, if you're gonna keep writing here at Lit... I might as well benefit <grin>)
Selenakittyn
Muse, I have to take a moment so my heart can go back to beating normally again! This story completely amazed me with its beauty. You are very talented. I could feel Laura's longing to please her man, and Charles' lust and indecision. Wow. Panty change!
To at least leave a typo, or mispunctuation in your manuscripts, perfection is the province of the Gods.
Honestly, how do I properly compliment a story that is written this well? How does a common man describe a masterpiece? Every word of this tale is meant to be savored and enjoyed. It is wonderful.
Thank you for sharing this work of art with us.
your story left me breathless
not because my breathing speeded up
but because it slowed down
and then just stopped
as i took leave of my body
transported to a different world
and now i can't come back
since i'm waiting for...
Godot?
It's been said before, but bears being said again. This. Is. Brilliant.
Hemingway once wrote "Hills Like White Elephants," and now you've written "Obstinate Stain." Your story is the only one I've read that accomplishes as much in as few words as Hills did. Your prose is a bit more sensual and flowery, but you are both masters of your craft. Consider me moved.
lovely poetry and so very human. To me it seem like a real situation where the 'winners' only can exist in your imagination,and the 'losers' are you and me in all our misguided pride. Life as a black hole.. Cheers Yoron.
The story was captivating but sad in a way. They both seem trapped and unable to free themselves from their own thoughts, let alone their desires. It was well written.
What in fuck's name was this shit?? And where the fuck was the "erotic coupling" in this?